Original subtitles

What?

Voicemail? Arnaz, turn on your phone!

Daddy, it's been a whole week and Arnaz still hasn't called. And I'm pretty sure

he knows how to use his phone because I showed him again before we left.

Oh, baby, I'm sure he's fine. We would have heard something by now. I mean,

that's what the 11 o 'clock news is for. Daddy!

Look, baby, you just need to get your mind off him. And why don't you come to

work with me again?

They're unveiling a new flex file set.

I know why you've been dragging me down to work all week. I promised you I won't

run away to New York again.

Oh, that's right.

You did run away there, didn't you? Oh, I forgot all about that.

Oh, really? So is that why you nailed my window shut?

Uh, baby, that was because of the West Nile virus.

You coming with me is about us spending time together.

Mm -hmm. Come on, Daddy.

You can trust me. I won't run away and make you cry again.

Hey, I never said I cried.

It was more like a mist.

Remember, if we have a problem, we agree we should talk about it. I'm going to

be 18 soon, an adult, and you have to treat me like one. I mean, I don't have

to, but I'm going to.

Now, where's my rent money?

By the way, I promise, I'm going to be calm, I'm going to be rational, and I'll

trust you.

You can call me Zen Daddy.

And Zen Daddy's okay with you not coming with him to work. All right? So I'll

see you when I get home.

And not just for me.

Well, mainly for me.

But for all of us. Yes, for all of us. Today, the Flex Files will forever

a part of that vast world that we call syndication.

Just call me Oprah Light.

And here he is, the man responsible for making all our dreams come true. Well,

mainly mine.

The king of Queensboro syndication, Matt Johnson, everybody.

Give it up for him. He may be short, but he's rich. Come on, y 'all.

And as for you, Flex, two words.

Yard sale.

Your show's not happening.

What are you talking about? What about syndication? What about Oprah Light?

Holly's out.

She had a terrible accident.

Too much collagen injected into her lips.

Look at that.

Oh.

Man, look like two hot legs on her face.

Matt, see, you may see someone as horribly disfigured.

But I see someone as the person reaching out to the ugly audience.

Flex, ugly people don't buy things. Nothing looks good on them.

I'm sorry, but there is no show without Holly. Look, you can't do this to me,

Matt. Look, I've worked for years to get the Flex file syndicated. I've

sacrificed everything.

Relationships, family, even my political aspirations.

Flex for president.

Gone.

Listen, buddy boy, I got a hundred television stations expecting a new show

starring you and a beautiful girl. I'm sorry.

That's a wrap, everybody. Thank you for your help. I've got some UPS job

applications if anyone's interested.

Don't give up on me, all right? Give me a chance. I can come up with something.

You know, I like you, Flex.

Normally, tall black men scare me, but... You'll get your extra time.

As it happens, Mattalicious has a hot date tonight, so you have 24 hours.

If I get lucky, you get lucky.

Fresh hot popcorn.

Hey, maybe that's my new show. I cook, I do sports.

I call it Hoops and Soups.

How about a sports makeover show?

Each week you can give some football player a makeover. At least that way

would have a reason to watch the show.

Daddy,

go watch the game at Dwayne's.

Game?

Ain't no game on.

Look, I know this is father -daughter spirit time, but go play with your

friends. We can't run away. Our nails are wet.

See, you gotta go out the way.

Sweetie, I want to make sure we spend enough time together.

I mean, we both know what happens when I get too busy.

We get better snack.

I mean, sorry, ever since we were starving artists in New York, I see the

of food.

And we're not going back, so just go.

Okay, but I'm not going because I love football more than you.

I love both of you equally.

Ooh, my phone is ringing. I bet you it's Arnette. I bet you it's Arnette.

It's you.

I was sitting on my phone.

See, if they had Ricky Williams, they'd be going for it instead of trying to

kick a field goal. What happened to coaches who take chances?

They get fired.

I mean, how can Ricky just walk away and quit the NFL at 27?

He didn't want to run on grass anymore.

He wanted to smoke it.

What? What are you going to do about the show now that Holly's out?

I don't know, man. It's been wracking my brain, and I keep coming back to the

same thing.

Me.

Wasn't that what the show was before?

Exactly.

And who bought that show?

Well, you sure are cranky when you have no future.

And no neck.

I'm wondering what keeps your head up.

Your boy has a point.

You need to come up with something different.

I know. I don't want some dumb sidekick again.

You know, if they're going to give me somebody, why can't it be somebody who

knows sports?

You know, like you guys.

You know, the four of us just riffing, talking about the week's sports topics.

Wait a minute.

I know what you're thinking.

Yeah? You're thinking, if we use a coupon, we can get an extra piece of it.

And no one will notice that I ain't kicking in.

No way. I'm talking about this.

Man, this is my show.

You see, everyone else uses celebrities.

See, with you guys, I can reach the common man, the average Joe, the loser

no one cares about.

I could spin records.

Hey, man, it's a sports show, man. It's no records.

No, but I'm good. I mean, like... No,

no, no. Cut him, Flex. Cut him. He's being difficult. He's ruining our show.

I need this, man. I beg you, Flex. I haven't been able to find a job. I'm

running out of money. Cut him. Just let him go. Cut him.

What about some Indian food? Can we get some Indian food?

Arnaz loves curry.

Arnaz doesn't even know what curry is. He thinks curry is the guy running for

president.

Well, I never thought I would miss Arnaz this much.

I really blew it, didn't I?

Pizza? Did you say pizza?

Look, I didn't want to get involved with him because I didn't want to lose him

as a friend.

But now I've lost him anyway. He's gone.

It's not too late.

Maybe you can call him and tell him how you feel.

And while you do that... I'm going to call a pizza man and tell him how I

You know what? You're right.

It's about time I told Arnaz that I love him.

Oh, my God, I love him.

What? His phone is still off? Oh, I can't stand him.

Why didn't I say something when I had the chance? I'll never love anyone

Now I have to grow old with you.

Nuh -uh, I'm getting a man.

Girl, thank God I have you. Come on, we can go get something to eat.

Pizza.

Did somebody say pizza?

Oh, Arnaz, we're so happy to see you. Go!

Yes, you too.

So nice seeing your face.

Mmm, you smell like bread.

And I'm starving. Why don't I get something to eat?

So, you're back. What happened?

Well, we ran out of money.

And I have to give blood five days in a row just for oranges and cookies?

It's time to go home.

Yeah, I have to admit, things haven't been much fun around here without you.

Brianna and I were just talking about that.

Weren't we, Brianna?

Yes. I was just saying that I never realized how annoying spirit was without

being around.

But the important thing is that you're back.

Thanks. Hey, you guys need this bacon grease?

with any more of this Brianna Arnaz drama, you need to tell them how you

I'm walking out that door.

Okay, look, we both know I ain't got nowhere to go.

But you said if you ever had the chance, you'd say something, and here's your

chance.

Okay.

You win.

I'm gonna do this.

Um, Arnaz, I have something that I want to say.

Okay.

It's like this.

You and me, we've been... Ooh, my syndication dreams are in debt. My new

has me, Arnaz... Arnaz?

What are you doing here?

Spirit, lock the door.

Daddy, relax.

I'm not going anywhere.

You're not gonna hurt me, are you?

Because I'm frail.

I'm weak.

And my blood isn't clotting anymore.

Daddy, remember, you're my zen daddy.

You're right.

You're right. That was the old flex. This is zen flex.

Arnaz, my home is your home.

You know, it's funny you should say that.

Your home being my home, because when we were in New York, you said, if I ever

need anything to let you know, well, I need something.

A place to crash until I figure things out, like going to school and where I'm

going to stay.

That's funny. If you'd asked me that last week, I'd have said, what over my

body?

But this is the new flex. Of course you can crash on my couch. Come on, man.

So,

Arne, is it staying here in our house?

Yep, because I trust you.

And because then Daddy wouldn't say no.

Would he?

Are you guys ready?

Yeah. Oh, my God, my lines. I forgot my lines.

Dwayne, there aren't any lines, man. It's all improv. That's the hook.

Improv?

No, I can't dance.

Okay, well, now I got my show down, I'm gonna check on my baby, all right?

Hey, Brianna.

Hey, sweetie.

Where's Arnaz?

No, I thought you brought him up.

Well, so, since you did, what's he doing?

Let's go put him on.

Yeah, yeah, Arnaz, yeah.

I'll be home after my taekwondo class. What the... Lex!

Like you to meet my new girlfriend, Rania Roschenko.

Pleasure to meet you.

The pleasure's all yours.

Isn't she hot?

I met her on my Croatian bachelor tour.

Bachelor tour?

Yeah. It's when Eastern Bloc women like me who live on potatoes and beets are

marched into a room filled with filthy rich American men and... I mean, it was

love at first sight.

Well, as long as it's true love, I'm sure she's very sweet.

I'm glad you like her, Flex, because she's your new co -host.

Oh, co -host?

Man, I thought you were going to give me a chance to come up with my own show.

Well, what about them? Say holla.

Holla.

The homeless guy's security will take care of him.

No, man, those are my boys.

That's the show.

It is regular guys talking about sports.

Them?

Baby, I cannot work with them.

Matt,

darling, you fix this, and I will be over there trying those ho -hos I heard

much about.

For $300 and a carton of Marlboros, you could have her sister.

Matt, look, I'm trying to make a living here, and you're pairing me up with this

Eastern Bloc Barbie.

Wake up and smell the vodka, man. She's using you.

Look, I know this looks bad, but look at me.

And now look at her.

Now look at me again.

Now her again.

God, I love this power I have.

But what about my idea, it appeals to the common man?

Oh, geez, Flex, people love the hot couple thing. I mean, they want another

-Lo and Denzel. And J -Lo's not with Denzel.

Give her time.

A guy like you knows the Croatian market is untapped.

But what about my guys, man? I can't buy them.

Don't worry about it.

I'll take care of them.

Hey, Flex's friends, you're fired.

What? Except you, big guy. We'll find something for you to do.

I can spin records.

Records?

Oh, that's perfect for a sports show.

Well, I'm not just saying that because I'm scared of you.

Look, guys, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, but I fought for you.

Flex, we were right here.

Ace, no hard feelings.

I mean, it's show business. We got beat out by boobs.

Hers and his.

What? Why don't you guys go over to the food table and grab as much as you can,

and, uh, you know, at least I can do.

Sweetheart, you look beautiful.

All right, uh, Flex, let's do a dry run.

Hello, and welcome to the end of my dream.

I mean, the Flex files.

So what does my co -host want to talk about today?

Squirrel and moose?

I would like to talk about Terrell Owens and how he's going to lead the Eagles

to the Super Bowl.

Oh, yeah, well, it's still a tough division with Joe Gibbs returning to

Washington. I know, and Eli Manning going to the Giants, but I still like

Eagles. Javon Kersey, he's a monster.

They lost Troy Benton. They got the Honey Jones. They lost Carlos Eamons.

damaged goods. 71 solo tackles last year. He broke his leg. He'll be back.

done.

this it's like the cold war all over again only you're reagan and you're

gorbachev and it's like with cleavage in a clear forehead so

arnett slept all day yep lazy boy with no goals no direction and nobody said

i love him oh here's an idea i had just a hundred times tell him spirit you

don't understand

He always has his shirt off.

Hello.

Stop being so logical and selfish.

At the very least, do it for me. For the romantic in me who never gets to savor

life's true treasure.

Love. Now go.

You're right.

I should do it.

You know, it wouldn't kill you to say, don't worry, spirit, you'll find love.

Not right now.

Arnaz, how's your sandwich?

Arnaz, can we go somewhere and talk?

Somewhere private, like the roof?

Oh, okay.

That should put on a warmer shirt.

So you brought me up here to talk about spirit, right?

We need to find her a man.

How about... The guy around the corner collects cans.

This is about me and you.

Look, Arnaz, I should have said this a long time ago.

I know I told you that I just wanted to be friends.

But while you were gone, all I could do was think about you and how much I

wanted to do this.

Man, look at them.

Little sneaky.

I'm going to kill you.

Hold on, Zen Daddy.

Think about it.

If you overreact now, you might push her away. Maybe for good.

You don't want that, do you?

Man, those kids can hold their breath.

I'm going to kill you.

This is killing me, man.

I'll be an enlightened parent, but I'm not going to be a stupid parent. He has

to go. Hey, come on, Flex.

Man, where's your compassion?

I mean, the boy's practically an orphan.

Man, he's got no place to go.

Oh, man. You're right, man.

I got to help him.

So I'm sorry.

Hey!

Nice to see you, too.

Brianna, why don't you go ahead and start dinner, huh?

Just go ahead.

Arnaz, you're going to be living with Dwayne now.

Huh?

Oh, Dwayne, look, change.

Mike!

Look,

Dwayne has fallen on some hard times. He lost his job, he lost his girlfriend,

he lost another job today.

He could really use the companionship and the rent one. I can't afford rent,

Washington.

I'll take care of the rent.

See, I can't give it to him directly.

Dwayne's got too much pride.

Dwayne?

You can't tell, but he's very embarrassed right now.

I don't know, Mr. Washington.

It just sounds like a lot of work. You know what? I forgot to tell you, though.

You don't have no choice.

Hey, uh, Dwayne, man, thanks for taking Arnaz in, man. Flex, if this is about

you being afraid that I need the money and that I'm lonely, well, you're right.

Thanks, dog.

What's going on here?

Has it been that long since Candy left you, Dwayne?

You guys got me. You got me.

Rihanna, could you come help Zendaddy run his new lines for his new show

Oh, Arnaz, I didn't even realize you were here.

Who's funny now?

Love you too, Netta.