All language subtitles for one_on_one_s02e13_daddys_other_girl

This is Brianna. You're moving back in
with your mama.

Daddy, this is our electronic baby for
homemade class.

We have to pretend we're married and
take care of it for a whole week.

noon, and night.

Hey, I'm hungry. You hungry?

Do you want a Hot Pocket?

Yes.

Okay, I'll make you three.

Well, Dad.

Mr. Father -in -law.

Mr. Washington.

Now that we're related, I think I should
have a key, don't you?

Don't let a little school project cost
you your life, boy.

What are they teaching y 'all in the
public school system today, huh?

How y 'all gonna learn anything from
playing house?

Hopefully not to become teenage parents
like you and Mom.

God bless the public school system.

Wow, it's so clean in here.

So, you're dating a maid again?

You know better than that. Your Aunt
Bernadette is coming in from Texas on a

to New York on a business trip. And I
want everything to be as perfect as she

is. I know. She's smart, she's
successful, and I can really learn a lot

her. Man, where was your sister when I
was single?

you've got your mother's touch.

Oh, please, let there be child
protective services coming to take this

away.

All right, that's not funny, Dwayne.

Do you mind moving your big head?

I'm looking for my brother.

And I'm looking for the other half of my
sister. You know, the half that blocks

the sun.

Why, you are so much weight, you look
great.

Well, you used to hide the M &M's.

Now,

I had to lose weight. I was tired of my
knees being sticky.

Well, at least this time you can fit on
the sofa bed.

Thanks for letting me crash here. You
know, with Mom in Atlantic City, I

know Dad's probably sitting around in
his boxers, scratching, waiting for her

come home before he showers.

Baby sister is going to New York on an
interview to be a lawyer. Well, I am

going to New York to interview, but not
with a law firm.

Uh, Justice Department?

Uh, District Attorney's Office.

Even better.

I'm going to be a model.

I've got an agent, and I've already
taken some pictures.

Man, I don't know, sis.

You gave up law to vote?

agree to fall back on. I don't think
it's a good idea, sis.

Mom and dad are going to be ticked off.
To send you to law school, dad is still

driving that old 86 Volkswagen.

It's so sad watching him drive to work
in reverse.

I just hope dad doesn't get too upset
with me. You know how he gets.

Somebody's got to tell him.

Well, Could you... Say what?

No, that's okay. Never mind. I was just
thinking about how when we were kids,

you used to fight all my battles.

But you can't be my hero forever.

I was your hero?

Well, yeah.

I mean, every time I would get in
trouble, you would fly in like Superman

save me.

All the girls in the neighborhood were
jealous because I had a big, strong

brother.

Even at early bloomer, Samantha?

Especially Samantha. I knew it.

Anyway, it's okay, because, you know,
we're all grown up, and it's time for me

to stand up to Dad.

Let me handle the plate.

Thank you, Flex!

Hey, Flex, you got more on your
newspaper?

You need to check my horoscope.

Oh, I see it's Foxy Lady and Dwayne
Rising.

Hey, baby.

Dwayne O'Dell...

You went off to Texas six years ago
looking like a twisted sister, and you

back looking like a William sister.

Yeah.

Let me just say I'm glad you're not my
sister. Okay.

Maddie, you're just a really bad mom.

What's up, little mama?

Oh, hey.

We gonna hit the movies tonight?

Um, actually, I can't. Arnaz and I have
to pick out preschools for Junior.

I don't know if I'm feeling this. You
and Goldilocks have too much history.

Don't worry, Josh. I have my priorities
straight.

Arnaz may be my husband, but you're my
boyfriend.

No, that's my girl. Okay.

All right. See you later.

Hmm.

Josh. Hmm.

Arnaz.

How's Arnaz Jr.? Uh -uh.

You can give him your name, but you
can't give him your time.

I'm the husband. Okay, the breadwinner.

Leader of my household.

I've been out there busting my hump.

At band practice, even sitting around
lunching with all the other mothers.

It's the office.

Hey, Ginger Baby.

That's not the office. That's just a lot
of work.

Okay, I'll bring you some chicken soup
after school.

Bye.

Um, you are not going up over there. You
took some vows. In sickness and in

health. Now, my girlfriend's sick, and
I'm going to go make her healthy. Okay?

Now, till death do us part.

meet Fridays at the Y in case you're
interested.

Where's my little girl?

Daddy!

Holy cow!

That's the first time I've ever been
able to hug you and have my hands touch.

I wish I could say the same.

So how is my big time lawyer daughter?

What's going on? All right, come in and
sit down. Might as well cut to the

chase.

All right.

Remember, Pop, how supportive and
understanding you were when I wanted to

my dream?

Are you trying out for the NBA again?

For God's sake, son, now it's just
pathetic.

No, and obviously all that understanding
and support must have slipped your

mind. Uh -oh, uh -oh.

Here we go.

Bernadette, your brother has dropped
more bombs on me than a bush on Baghdad.

This time, I got good news for you, Pop.
Yes, yes, yes.

Instead of being a boring old lawyer,
Bernadette is going to become an

fashion model.

Yay?

What?

Dad, I know you wanted me to be a
lawyer, but I...

and glamour in my life. Of course you
do.

So you're not mad?

Oh, not with you, baby.

With you! Me?

Glamour and excitement?

That sounds like something you put in
her head.

Oh, Flex.

Wait till your mother finds out what you
did. It will kill her.

If I'm lucky, I can catch her before she
leaves her room.

Uh, yeah, well, that went well.

That was nice, baby.

Baby.

Wait, baby?

Where is Arnaz?

He is two hours late.

You know what? He probably went ginger.

And you're with me.

Yeah, but we're supposed to turn in our
family budget tomorrow.

What type of father is he?

You know, Bree, if he were your real
husband, you could divorce him and take

half of everything he had.

And then we could take that half and go
on vacation.

Wait, where would we go on half of what
he has? Your house?

Act like you've been holding him all
day.

Oh, I get it.

Hold up. Let me get this peanut out of
his nose.

Oh, hey, Arnaz.

What are you... Oh, yeah, that's right.
Our assignment. Oh, come on in. Come on

in. I just have Josh here helping me out
with our son.

What? I know you don't have some other
man here to hold my child.

Uh, excuse you. You were the one too
busy being Ginger's nurse to take care

your fatherly duties.

Why are you trying to hurt me?

I hate to break the news to you, bro.

Breonna's getting a divorce.

Oh, don't worry. You'll have visitation
rights. You can see your son every other

homeroom. Supervised, of course. Later.

Then he ended up mad at me. And then
called my mama on the phone and tried to

kill her. What?

Hey, what's up, fellas?

And fell let.

Quartz added another woman to his wall.

sexual harassment. I mean, who wants to
sit here and stare at breasts all day?

Come on, Flex.

You going soft on us, man? Hey, I'm in a
relationship now. The only breasts I

can stare at are in a bucket of KFC.

Flex, why don't you check out my new hot
fudge sundae?

Oh, my God.

This is no hot fudge sundae.

This is my sister.

bring this trash into my dad's family
establishment.

Which one of y 'all brought it here?
Huh?

Which one of y 'all? Who brought it
here?

Uh, Flex, it's your dad's magazine.

He's had a subscription to Mahogany Man
for years.

He's been reading ever since Eartha Kitt
poses Mahogany Mate in 1952.

Mmm. Marcus,

I'm not wearing any panties.

Listen, Flex.

It's very tasty. I mean, tasteful.

Sorry, man. Her booty confuses me. I
mean, her body.

I'll be over here.

You know, I'm not hating or nothing, but
it looks very airbrushed. I mean, come

on. Those whipped cream peaks are just a
little too perky to be real.

Okay, all right, stop it. Stop it. Y
'all talking about my little sister

Keep your eyes off her peaks. That's
right. You know what? We better get this

thing out of here before you perverts
make a little shrine to it.

You know, decorate it with flowers and
scented candles.

Maybe prop it up on a pillow while
sipping a little Hennessy.

And wishing you weren't lactose
intolerant. Give me that.

I'm going to take this home and burn it
before my father sees it. Before your

father sees what?

Well? I was wondering, Dad, what would
you say if you saw Dwayne eat

this paper? What?

Tastes like chicken.

And left, and right, and left, and
right, and left, and right, and hold.

Now turn.

Oh, my God, it's spreading.

Another hot fudge sundae in the making.
Brianna, take your pappoose and vamoose.

And left, and right, and left, and
right. Brianna.

You said you quit law to become a model,
not a hot fudge sundae.

Wow, my mahogany madness shoot.

Did they use my cream cheese spread? Oh,
for the love of dairy, just stop it.

Who are you? Who am I?

Who are you?

Don't act like you never look at women
in those magazines.

Now, I remember you and Dwayne sneaking
to the basement to look at Dad's

National Geographic.

I had a thirst for travel.

the Bushwomen of the Kalahari.

You gotta search for tribal breasts.

Bernadette, I may be a peeper, but you,
you're a shower.

Shame on you.

Flex, I'm proud of my pictures.

For the first time, I wasn't just
Richard and Eunice's daughter or Flex's

baby sister.

I was Bernadette, the hot chick.

Yeah, with sprinkles on top.

understand why you stopped through here
and wanted to stay with me. You set me

up. You weren't scared to tell dad that
you didn't want to be a lawyer anymore.

You wanted me to prepare him for the
real information.

I didn't trick you into doing anything
you weren't going to do anyway. Tidal

tail.

How dare you?

I'm telling dad.

Coming in here all naked, covered in
cool whip.

Trying to ruin my precious relationship
with my dad.

Hello, Daddy?

Yeah, Bernadette has something she wants
to tell you.

Bernadette?

Bern?

Oh, look at our little babies.

How'd you get yours to sit up so
straight?

It's the starch I use.

Can't pick up my son.

You're late.

I didn't come here to fight.

I came here for the boy and to give you
these.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Ethiopia, we got to go down to Arcade
and get you a daddy.

And this is for little Nazi.

Hey, little Arnie, look what your
stepdaddy wanted six flights for you.

Arnie, his name is Arnez Jr. Did it
right, bro.

Hey, man, look, I'm just saying. Okay,
you guys.

children this better be good i had to
put on

pants to come over here just a minute
pop i think that needs to be here for

something she needs to tell you.

Why don't you tell her? No, why don't
you tell her? No, you tell her.

Well, somebody better say something. My
belt hand is feeling a little itchy.

Okay, well, I hate to be the one to
break this to you, Dad, but... I posed

picture in a men's magazine. Ha -ha, I
beat you.

Well, he's gonna beat you.

Is that what this is all about?

I saw that picture.

I didn't care for it, but I'm too old to
throw a fit over it.

Besides, when you told me she was going
to be a model, I had a feeling there'd

be some posing for the camera involved.

That's it?

You're not upset about it? Of course I'm
upset.

She could have mentioned the shopping
article.

Annie, this isn't fair.

Whip her.

He's not going to flex because he loves
me more.

That's not true.

I really can't stand neither one of you.

You, young lady, are a spoiled little
brat whose naked butt is going to pay me

back for law school.

Dad! And you're a tattletale, mister.

Now, if the two of you will excuse me,
there's a foot -long meatball sub

for me at home, and I am going to eat it
on the good couch with no TV tray and

no pants.

I saw a collar cap.

Burned out.

I'll take you to the airport.

Look, I'm sorry I disappointed you.

Yeah, me too.

Look, Flex, I know you hated those
pictures.

But they're a stepping stone. You know,
something to jumpstart my career.

Yeah, and a couple of old men's hearts.

Oh, come on. I'll be on the cover of
Essence before you know it.

I just hope we can get past this.

I'll try.

I'll never eat whipped cream again.

I guess my little sister is not my
little sister anymore.

She's a grown -up.

Oh, can I be your grown -up little
sister?

You'll always be my Superman.

You'll always be my kryptonite.

I guess this homemaker assignment just
got me thinking.

I'm not ready to be a husband and a
father.

It just gets to me seeing Josh with you
and my son.

You know this is all make -believe,
right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, for sure. No doubt.

For now.

Love you too, Netta.