All language subtitles for one_on_one_s02e03_unemployment_up_pride_down

Oh, good morning, parents.

Good morning, sofa.

How far is the Asabuhi African mask?

Oh, that's why he leaves. Oh, it feels
so wonderful to be back home in

Baltimore. I guess you didn't see that
triple homicide on the news this

Daddy, you're harshing my mellow.

Well, um...

That's a loose translation in your book.
Sit your butt down and eat your

breakfast. But, Mommy, I'm too excited
to eat. I gotta go surprise Freddy and

Arnaz and tell them that I'm back and
that their boring little lives are gonna

be meaningful again.

All right. Now that the child is gone,
can we discuss the house rules for

squatters, vagabonds, and the generally
undesirable?

Rule number one. No more whale music at
night. Man, what is with the...

of a killer whale is what helps me
sleep.

Yeah, well, so could a well -placed
harpoon.

Well, if I can recall, that's the sound
that you used to make when you used to

reach your romantic peak.

Just tell me when you're gonna get a
job.

Well, Flex, as you know, Baltimore is a
water -based society with various points

gracing the Chesapeake Bay. You know,
you used to be so hot.

Before that book learning.

And you used to be even hotter when I
was ignorant.

Now, focus.

Now, I'm going to be circulating my
resume to all the places befitting a

with a Ph .D. And then I'm going to find
a very big fabulous place to live. Oh,

how about fabulous and far away?

Come on, Flex. Now you're lucky you
don't have to start all over again.

No. No, I don't.

They've been keeping my seat warm down
at WYNX. And do you want to know why?

Because I have something called
likability.

See, when people like you, they want to
keep you around. And when they don't,

well, you've lived the rest.

Sometimes in this life, you can feel all
by yourself.

But I have a partner, but I can't tell
no one else.

Then I'll isolate you there when there's
nobody.

Hey, Captain, your flat -out man is
back.

And now that I've got the sheen of a guy
who almost made it to the pros again,

we need to renegotiate. But don't worry,
I ain't gonna stick it to you.

That's awfully nice of you, little
Flexie. Give me a chance to stick it to

first.

Oh, you're no longer lead sports anchor.
You've been bumped.

What? By who?

Hey, Flex, you're in my spot.

Visitor parking is on level two.

Visitor parking? You can't fire me.

Oh, technically I can, but I haven't.
You see, when you ran off to pursue your

hoop dreams, you left the WYNX team
without a star player.

But Stacy said I could have the time
off.

That's right. That's why I've given
Stacy some time off.

But Danny, why him? Because he's
ruthless.

He's hardworking.

And he's my wife's little brother.

When he got wind of the oldest rookie in
the NBA story, he was on the first

plane out to L .A. That story was about
me.

Yeah, but don't worry. The irony wasn't
lost on us either.

But hey, maybe you could fill in for me
on a day or two.

Cullen's sick on spa days.

Ciao, Bella.

I don't have to take this.

Every station in Baltimore is going to
be knocking on my door because I have

likability.

You also have a non -compete clause.

Yeah.

See, your contract states that you can't
work at a local media outlet for a year

if you quit.

I'm not intimidated by your binding
contracts, your legal technicalities. My

million -dollar lawsuits.

A man dares to pursue his dreams and
loses his job?

This is not the America that I want to
live in.

But it's still the land of opportunity,
pal. And lucky for you, our weatherman

is retiring.

El Nino Gonzalez?

I thought he died months ago.

Yeah, we did too.

Well, you never shake the sound of a man
screaming in his own coffin.

Man, I do sports. I don't do weather,
and I'll never do weather. So if there's

no position open in sports, then there's
no position for me.

Uh, this is where you say, I'm sorry
you're back in sports?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm just kidding.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

Brianna, I can rock this Gucci purse,
and you can rock this Prada purse.

You are the worst Brianna ever, Ray Ray.

You need to go inside and practice. Then
remember, it's...

kiss like that. Why?

Because that was our goodbye forever
kiss. Our Titanic kiss.

The music swells, he slips into the
ocean, he dies with the band, and my

goes on.

He lives next door to me. You're gonna
see him sooner or later.

But everything has changed. I rocked one
on him.

No, two.

And I don't think you learned that
practicing on your pillow.

So, I at least need to know how he feels
about our kiss.

So,

we gonna do?

Oh, girl, I miss your giveaway so much.

Now, if one lawyer in Baltimore can get
me out of that non -compete contract.

Well, there's one, but I gotta rear -end
somebody and wear neck brace for a

week.

And I've checked everywhere.

Nobody's hiring.

I can't believe I quit my job.

At least we're not like other unemployed
people. We got skills.

You know what? You right.

I mean, we could find a job in no time.
No doubt. The phone was going to be

ringing off the hook.

Is it on?

Okay,

this is it. Here comes Arnaz. Now, when
he gets here, be sure to be real subtle

about the kiss. Okay.

Hey, Arnaz.

So how about that kiss yesterday, huh?

Yeah, that was the kiss I've been
dreaming about my whole life.

I miss Brianna so much.

Sometimes I think I'm seeing her.

You got it bad.

But maybe she's closer than you think.

A lot closer.

Yeah, well, I got to go. Be around.

How come you didn't come out?

Girl, are you kidding?

I'm going to make him miss me more so
he'll want me more. Now that I know

can't function without the soft touch of
my tender kid.

How are you going?

Nowhere. Yet.

But I'm acting as if.

You see, if I dress for work, I'll get
work.

It's called manifest destiny.

And that's destiny calling right now.

Nicole Barnes, Ph .D.

Hello. Destiny calling for Mr. Cal
Barnes, Ph .D.

That is not funny, Flex.

This is hard for me. I've always had a
job.

Even when I was 18 and pregnant with
Brianna.

I was paid to be the poster girl for
babies having babies.

Don't let it happen to you.

Look, girl, you need to get over it. You
knew there was no job security in whale

watching? They're in a dangerous
species, for God's sake. They go, you

Well, what about you, Mr.

Flathead Man?

Don't nobody want you. Do they? Do they?
Do they? No.

Oh, how the bourgeoisie have fallen.

For once, you two are down and out, and
I am the symbol of success and

prosperity.

Then why aren't you at work? Well, uh,
my boss down at the used car lot gave me

a couple days off to prepare for my
annual evaluation.

I'm sorry, that's employed people talk.

See, uh, in laid -off people terms, I'm
just studying to become the lot manager.

Dang, Nicole.

What's up?

Dwayne's doing better than us.

It's okay, honey.

Things will get better.

You want a hug?

Uh -huh.

Okay, I'll give you a little hug. Aw,
look at you two, comforting each other.

You two stay jobless much longer. I
won't be surprised if I'm the best man

your wedding again, and there's another
bundle of joy running around up in here.

Hey, hey, hey, where you going?

Uh, to let El Nino back in his casket.

Bring your umbrellas to work tomorrow.

It might rain.

Today's weather question comes from
Margaret Kurtz of Towson.

Flex, my bridge club loves watching you
do the weather.

Well, thank you.

Could we see if your back is as sexy as
your front?

And what does that have to do with the
weather?

Bless you.

Local weather forecast, and I'm your
weatherman, Flex Chocolate Thunder.

Very funny, Charlie.

That was nice work, Flex. Really.

Top of the next hour, I'll wear spandex.

All right, you've won. I've accepted my
position as weather slut.

Hey, uh, weather slut.

Could you... tidy up the desk a little.

I got to go. I'm off to play 18 holes
with Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan and

some charity thing today. Wait, wait,
wait.

I set that up. They're supposed to be
teeing off with me.

No, actually, they're supposed to be
teeing off with the lead sports anchor,

that would be me.

Smite him.

Look at her, crawling all over him like
a spider with a big old butt.

See, that's what you see.

All I see is part two of my plan.

Arnaz being so into me, he rebuked the
hoochie.

Now all I have to do is get over there
and hear it for myself.

Hey, I got an idea.

Hey, Ray Ray.

That PhD thing on my resume, yeah,
that's a typo.

It's supposed to be... G -E -D.

Yeah, I'm as dumb as a stump.

I need to be a job.

Hello?

Oh, I have been up all night studying.
Nicole, look, ask me any question out of

this book.

Dwayne, I really don't have time for
this. See, all that attitude gonna keep

from getting a job.

At least Flex has likability.

Make me like you.

my best friend's ex -wife. Let's not get
freaky.

What's up, Dee?

You get a job yet, Nicole?

No. Chocolate thunder.

And it's sunny. You said that it was
gonna be rainy.

Well, I got a forecast for you. Get a
job.

Ooh, it's hurricane flex.

Batting down the hatches, board up the
windows.

There's a lot of hot air blowing. Right
up, yo.

There it is right there, that old
passion.

You two keep this up, and angry sex is
sure to follow.

Shut up!

What? You got a crappy job, right?

How do you get up every morning without
wanting to throw yourself in front of a

train? Easy, all right?

See, I get up every morning knowing that
by the end of the day, I'm going to

make somebody smile.

By selling them a pinto with a backseat
made of Legos?

Hey, Flex, you got a job. You're a
weatherman.

You get to lie to millions of people
every day, and they keep coming back.

that's the American dream.

Girded cart so funky, I'm about to black
out from the pews. Knock it off. Go to

mission.

You know there's a fair going on at
Druid Hill.

And I heard the haunted house is real
dark and scary.

And I need someone to hold on to.

So, you want to go?

I'm not really in the mood for big
crowds.

See? He's rebuking. He's rebuking.

Since Brianna left, I've been kind of
down.

Me too.

Thanks, Ginger.

You're a good friend.

So hang out at the mall.

I don't love the mall.

See, now he's passed my test.

Oh.

Swear he wouldn't leave his cart in
front of my building.

No, please.

So let your smiles be your umbrellas
because there aren't any clouds in

And for Maggie Kurtz and her bridge
club, I am chocolate thunder.

And thank you. We'll be back at the top
of the hour.

And we're out.

Flex, that's one of the best weather
broadcasts I've ever seen. Oh, thanks,

Hank. You know, I am just happy to be
part of the team. Hey, bro -in -law, a

word. I just got this memo that you're
sending me to that fishing contest on

Sharp Island. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The tournament.

That should be a blast.

I cover athlete, not fish.

Hey, hey.

Why don't I do the weather from the
tournament?

It might be kind of fun to have the
winner of the contest co -host with me.

mean, after all, I am the bass man for
the job.

I like your attitude.

I'm like Danny here.

Danny, let's go talk about your future
in my office.

Uh, Danny.

Likeability.

Who's in here cooking? Chef Boyardee?

Lousy. You have a bro R .D.

Very funny. This is an apology to your
mother.

Wait a minute.

Cooking and apology all in one day.

Did the doctor call? Am I dying?

Very funny. But thanks to our good
friend Dwayne, I got a new attitude and

old job back.

Congratulations,

Daddy. Hey, don't waste all those hugs
over there.

Mommy's got a new job, too.

You're looking at the new research
director for the Save the Oceans United

League. S -O -U -L. So?

See, now I'm helping marine life by
going straight to the source. So

is going to be perfect.

Oh, congratulations, Mommy. Oh, thank
you. Oh, and I've got even better news.

Brianna and I are going to be living it
up in a spacious apartment in Bolton

Hill. Hold up, hold up, hold up. You and
Brianna get an apartment?

We never talked about that.

You actually thought that since I got a
job in Baltimore that the living

arrangements weren't going to change?

Yeah, things are great the way they are.
No, no, they're not.

Flex,

I'm not going to argue with you. We'll
let Brianna decide.

Baby, now who would you rather live
with, Mommy or Daddy?

Now, take your time. You know, nobody's
going to get upset.

Okay, Daddy.

You know, if you'd rather live here,
then here is where you'll stay.

We could spend the weekends together.

Oh, thank you, Mommy, for understanding.

Okay. And for giving me life.

I'll see you out later. You too, baby.

Wow, Nicole, that was probably the most
mature thing that you've ever done. Our

relationship is moving to a new level. I
hate you!

Look, see, you're like broccoli.

Healthy, good for you, but people have
to pour cheese all over you just to

you down.

See, I'm like chocolate cake.

I go down pretty easy, and I'm good for
your hips.

Don't feel so sure of yourself, Flex.
The only reason why I went along with

is because I didn't want to end up being
mean mom.

I'm no a trap when I see one.

Oh, please, Nicole. Ain't nobody trying
to trap you. Oh, I beg to differ.

I'm on to you, Flex.

See, you're the fun parent.

but not for long, okay? This is my
chance to be the fun parent. So while

setting curfews and imposing
punishments, I'm gonna be Molly's good

You see? I'm having fun already.

This place you're moving into, uh,
padded walls, right?

Happy to see you.

I've been lost and out of you. When did
you get back?

Well, it's a long story, but all that
matters is that I'm here now.

I bet you never went anywhere.

Brianna, I know you never left.

Brianna, why do you keep playing games
in my heart?

It wasn't a game.

It was a test.

Brianna, I'm a musician.

Elvis wasn't going to test, and neither
am I.

I think it's best we stay friends.

What? You ready to go, boo?

Boo? Yeah, I'm with Ginger now.

She doesn't play games.

Welcome back, Brie Brie.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Oh, I blew his spirit.

I am never going to like another boy
again, Daddy.

I wish all boys were more like you.

There's nobody like me, sweetie. I'm an
original.

I thought our news wasn't original.

Stop messing with me.

Okay, well... This is the last of it.

I'll walk you out, Ma. Okay.

Well, take care, Nicole.

I wish you well.

Whatever, Flex.

Tina Turner. She goes.

She goes. She goes.

I'm going to miss her so much.

Love you too, Netta.