All language subtitles for one_on_one_s01e13_tame_me_i_m_the_shrew

Morning, brethren, sistren.

Guess who just happens to be my eighth
cousin three times removed?

The guy who played Leroy on Fang?

Oh, my bad. He's got at least two feet
on you.

Now, I was fooling around on this
genealogy website, and I found out that

very blood running through my veins is
the same as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

That's right.

You know what that means, don't you?

The information highway is gridlocked?

It means that I am descended from
greatness, destined to be an activist.

I am picking up the torch of civil
liberties and lighting the way for my

oppressed peoples.

That's y 'all.

Well, Dwayne, you gonna lift us up off
from your mama's basement. You the man.

Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Frank's
on.

That old gas bag's the only thing
standing between me and the lead sports

position. And one final thought.

To all my fans who have been so
supportive over the last 20 years, I bid

farewell. You see, the aliens spoke to
me through my navel last night, and this

reporter's been chosen to mate with
their queen.

So until the next millennium...

I'm coming, Queen Tulipi.

Poor guy.

I hope he's all right.

But on the brighter side...

I'm in there. I'm moving on up like
George Jefferson. Say what?

Say what?

Sometimes in the dark, you can feel all
by yourself. Yeah, one, two, three. But

I have a partner, but I can't tell no
one else.

So don't isolate yourself when there's
nobody around.

Oh, yeah.

I'll be there to take advantage.

What a true love we are.

Baby, we'll use the world. Baby, one,
no, one, one, one, one.

And it is a good morning.

Undip me, you dip.

Just had to ship Frank off to the Sweet
Dream Sanitarium, and trust me, it's not

a very sweet place.

Anyway, Frank is gone.

I'm here.

Give me the job.

Black, it's not my choice. The station
manager wants to see some other people

well. This is blatant racism.

I'll have you know that I'm a close
personal friend of a man who's distantly

related to Dr. Martin Luther King,

Stacey, love.

Sorry I'm a few minutes late.

But then again, I figured, who else you
gonna interview?

Flex, you know Red Galloway from Channel
14?

Uh -huh, yeah, yeah.

The man who exposed the use of steroids
in figure skating?

Please, that wasn't news. That Romanian
girl did a victory lap holding her coach

over her head.

You know, Flex, Envy Green is such an
ugly color on you. But then again, so is

that shirt, bro.

We're talking about clothes. Shouldn't
you return those shoes to the Bowlerama?

Uh, Fred, wait for me in my office,
please. And by the way, sending me

Pretty transparent. Lucky for you, I
like my butt kiss.

Daisy, I have paid my dues at this
station. I shouldn't have to kiss your

for this job.

Although I'd be happy to visit it on my
own free time.

Look, Flex.

The higher -ups want someone who will go
the extra mile to get the story.

You saying I have to audition?

Yes. You and Red have a week to come
back with a hot story. Best one gets the

job. I should quit.

I should do a lot of other things, too.

Good day.

when you did it all with real hair.

Attention!

I've made my decisions for Shakespeare
Night, the selected scenes from The

Taming of the Shrew.

If you didn't get the part you wanted,
get used to it. That's showbiz.

Oh, I got it, I got it! I got the part
of Petruchio.

But aren't you the only guy who tried
out? Yeah, but that girl from the field

hockey team was really good.

Congratulations, Brianna, you got the
part of Catherine.

Oh, really?

No, I... It's cool. It's no big deal.

The hell it's not. I get to kiss you.

So I'm your understudy, which is almost
worse than not getting a part.

No, being an understudy is awesome. See,
you get all the fun while I get all the

pressure. Who's the lucky one here?

Thanks. Come here.

I guess I'll see you guys later.

Okay.

Never mind.

It may not be and it cannot be.

Let me entreat you.

Wait, hold up. I mean, who talks like
this? What does entreat you mean?

Uh, I think it means we kiss.

Come on, let's show her how we do it. Go
away.

Oh, excuse me, Daddy. This is the closed
rehearsal.

Uh, Brianna, the only thing I want to
see closed is your mouth.

Well, maybe we should rehearse in my
house. Yeah. Nah, you know what? I'm all

Shakespeare now. Y 'all go without me.
Okay.

Oh, and Arnett, can you try to say your
lines without spitting on people? Thank

you.

Sweetie, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
I'm just in a bad mood.

They're making me audition for the lead
sports anchor position.

I shouldn't have to prove myself.

I am more seasoned than a Jeffrey Dahmer
dinner guest.

Same here. I mean, what's wrong with the
world? They don't know who we be. They

ain't know.

Black boys and black girl.

I have been to the promised land.

Ooh, was Tupac there?

Did you know we have a Martin Luther
King Jr. Boulevard in this very town? So

does any town with more than 20 black
people.

My cousin needs a more substantial
tribute.

That's why I give you the Harbor Tunnel.
Makes sense.

Harry Tubman had a railroad.

Precisely. That's why I propose renaming
said tunnel the Martin Luther King Jr.

Tunnel of Enlightenment.

I must leave now so as to hasten my
mission. I will see you at the

Good luck, bruh. We shall overcome,
dawg. We shall overcome.

Ma 'am, I don't care if he is gay.

Those are not the kind of stories we do
hear, WYNX.

Who's gay? And how soon can we get her
on the air?

Uh, in case you haven't noticed, this is
a news station, not Gossip Hour at Aunt

Clara's Press and Weave.

Man, you can learn a lot of good stuff
at a beauty salon.

That's where I found out a certain New
York shortstop has more illegitimate

than Sean Kemp.

You don't have any standards, do you?
And you don't have any Emmys, do you?

No, but I have been Employee of the
Month.

Yeah, it's red.

Look, I don't want to hear that crap.

Look, just get me something juicy on one
of your buddies or my next report is

going to read star college athlete
exposed for illegally accepting money

alumni loses promise in NBA future.

I know it's too long for a headline, Lou
Grant.

Just give me the information.

I told you that Red was using sleazy
tactics to get a story.

Really? Mm -hmm. Then I'd say the only
job he's eligible for here is lead

anchor.

Okay.

I'll get no down and dirty.

I hope this doesn't keep me out of
heaven.

whispering about.

I'm saving my voice.

It's a trick us stars do.

Me, Celine, Diana will miss Ross to you.

But what do you want?

I've rewritten the play.

It needed a little punching and
updating.

But you can't rewrite Shakespeare.
You're not even in the 10th grade.

Don't think of it as a rewrite.

Think of it as a remit.

I gave Big Willie Shake some flavor.

Look, I don't think this is a good idea.

Honey, your job is to understudy
nothing.

Now run along and pass those out.

She's out of control. The girl has
rewritten Shakespeare.

Did she cut the kiss?

Oh, it's still in there.

Oh, thank God.

Please take your marks for the beginning
of rehearsal.

Let's start.

between Petruchio and Catherine.

Arnaz and Brianna, are you ready?

Catherine, or should I say Special K,
I'll buy you Versace and Prada new. So

love me too, because this thug needs a
shrew.

I love you, boo.

But I need a Benz too.

I know that I'm the finest in the
nation.

But I... came due with all this
hateration.

What was that?

I just made a few changes in the play.
Just keeping it real.

Well, how about just keeping it
Shakespeare?

You know, everything the man wrote
wasn't gold. Was he a personal friend?

Is there anyone here who can explain
Catherine's character and her

motivation? The non -Tupac version.

I was misunderstood.

She's a strong woman, but everybody
thinks she's just a bitter shrew.

Actually, she's a sensitive soul who's
always been second to her sister in her

father's eyes.

It's obvious you fully understand
Catherine's character.

Spirit, you take over the role of
Catherine.

Brianna will be your understudy. That's
how I keep it real.

Run along with Miss Ross.

Okay, I heard Red say he was meeting his
source here, and we need to find a

place to hide.

Hey, man, you're letting out all the
heat.

Aw, man, I just got a page from Mama.

She said that City Hall denied our
petition.

All right, so now we're either going to
have a sit -in at the Harbor Tunnel, or

I'm going to have to ride Mama through
the doors of City Hall.

Hey, man, that's Ishmael Porter, the All
-American point guard from B State.

All right, kid, what you got for me?

You should check up on the football
team.

Somehow, most of them are failing
academically, but the NCAA isn't finding

about it.

Ish, I could kiss you right now, man.
Hey!

You can blackmail me into talking, but
no kissing. I gotta draw the line

somewhere.

I'm sick of doing this.

Why can't you get your own story?

I've got other things to worry about.

I'm sorry this is inconvenient for you.

My next exclusive will be how Ishmael
Porter pays all his mama's bills with no

visible means of income.

And his headlines really are long.

Oh, Ishmael. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Mama, call 5 -0. Might get jacked.

Be cool, man. Be cool. Flex Washington,
WYNX News.

Flat out.

Damn, not you too.

So how much did you hear? And what is it
going to cost me? Hey, I'm not trying

to blackmail you, man.

But you've been accepting money from the
alumni.

This is huge. If this gets out, you can
be a serious trouble.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm in too deep.

It's either go with the flow or Red will
end my career before it starts.

Man, I knew I should have gone to DeVry
like my brother.

Just trust me, okay?

I'll figure out a way to get away from
Red, okay? I don't know what it is yet,

but I'll find a way.

All right?

Hey, you up kind of late.

Can't sleep.

I can tell from that look on your face
that you need me to do the Cosby thing.

Come on, sit down, Theo.

I just can't believe spirit will betray
me, stealing my part like that.

Now, did she steal it, or did your ego
give it away?

When Dr. Gilks called me tonight, she
told me you had more attitude than

Jennifer Lopez, but one -third the
booty.

Nobody understands me. It's tough being
a diva.

Baby, I love you, but you're tripping.

Dad, whose side are you on?

Sweetie, you only get a handful of real
friends in your life.

Don't let your ego make you lose one.

Okay? Do the right thing.

Good night, Daddy.

Good night, Theo.

Oh, good thing you're here.

You need to talk to Spirit.

She's so nervous, I think she's going to
lose her stomach. And I have to kiss

her. I'm good, but I ain't that good.

Oh, all right, I guess that's my cue.

Is my tail properly placed between my
legs?

Uh, yeah.

I can't do this out of my way, I'm
bouncing.

Spirit, you can do this.

You know this part better than Dr.
Guilt, and she's the day Shakespeare.

I can't go out there with all those
people looking at me.

But you've done plays before.

I was a munchkin in the Wiz and a
tumbleweed in Oklahoma.

You have never been the lead.

Wait a minute. When did I start speaking
to you?

Barrett, I've been watching you
rehearse.

You're a great actress.

I know you're going to go out there and
be amazing. You really get this

Shakespeare stuff.

I'm scared.

Don't. I'll be right here in the wings
if you need me.

Go ahead, girl.

Break a leg.

Come, sit on me.

Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

Women are made to bear, and so are you.
No such jade as you, if me you mean.

Alas, good Kate, I will not burden thee,
for knowing thee to be but young and

light. Too light for such a swain as you
to catch, and yet as heavy as my weight

should be.

they're undefeated on the field but
baltimore state's football team takes an

academic beating which strangely enough
does not show up in any ncaa records

we'll see you guys on the sideline if
you can read the directions to the next

game this is red galloway reminding you
that if red galloway isn't on your tv

then your tv probably ain't really on

Rat, that was a fabulous audition.

Well, Red Galloway does not disappoint.

Remember that when you're eating soup
for one on Saturday night, baby.

So what happened to Flip?

Well, if you mean Flex, I guess he's a
no -show.

Maybe he just isn't hungry.

Oh, no.

Flex is hungry.

In fact, he's hungry for some red pie.

I got a little surprise for you.

Red, you remember Ishmael Porter, don't
you?

You don't know who you're dealing with,
kid. You don't want this to get ugly.

Uh, looked in the mirror lately? Too
late.

And we're back in five, four, three...
Good evening, Baltimore.

This is Flex Washington, and tonight I'm
joined by B -State's star point guard,

Ishmael Porter.

Ishmael, it's come to my attention that
you've been involved in accepting money

from B -State's Booster Club.

Yeah, I accepted money to help my
family.

But you realize NCAA rules prohibit
student athletes from accepting money. I

know that.

And I was wrong.

I got in over my head, and then someone
started blackmailing me.

Oh, really?

Would it be that man?

The man known as Red Galloway?

blackmailing Ishmael in a dark, dank
alley.

I wouldn't know, because I wasn't there.

Yeah, but I got a good friend and a man
in the dumpster who could prove you

wrong.

So tell me, Ishmael, what made you come
forward?

Well, you cornered me in that alley.
After that, after that.

Well, it was one thing, accepting money.

But when Red had me dropping dime on my
friend, it wasn't cool.

So what are you going to do now,
Ishmael?

Well, maybe DeVry might be starting a
basketball team.

I wish you luck, Ishmael.

This is Flex Washington saying, keep
your noses clean, Baltimore, or I have

wipe them.

Is that it?

And we're clear.

Yo, you cannot do this to me. Man, I'm
Red Galloway. I'm the one that... You

leaving. Flex beat you, Red.

Better luck next time.

You heard the lady. Get to stepping. And
we're not validating your parking

either.

Okay, okay.

I'll tell you what. You may not like
what I do, but you'll never beat me to a

story. Oh, and bowling either. Why are
you wearing no shoes again?

Hey, Ishmael, look, if you need me to
say anything to the disciplinary

committee, just let me know, man. Hey,
thanks, Flex.

I feel like a waistband lifted off my
shoulders and I can start over.

By the way, for $50, I can tell you all
about the athletic director. Uh, bro,

uh... Oh, sorry.

Force of habit.

Flex?

Congratulations. You are the new Leeds
Force anchor.

And we're going to run this story on
Live at Five.

Well, I'm very pleased. And thanks for
the opportunity. But I have to get back

to you with my answer.

You are kidding, right?

Oh, you know it, baby.

I'm the man. I'm the man.

Leeds Force anchor.

Mr.

Untouchable.

Can't push me around anymore.

Yes, but I'm still your boss.

I can work with that.

Hey, what happened to you, man?

Man, sit -ins ain't what they used to
be.

It was just me and my mama, and we both
got hit by cars.

Robert Tunnel, what's next? Trains and
the subway?

Man, a navigator took me out.

But I'm afraid that you going to hit my
mama didn't fare so well.

Hey, look, at least you embraced the
cause and you stuck to it. Your cousin

would be proud of you.

Yes, he would.

Although we didn't get the tunnel named
after him.

But you know that stretch of highway
that runs along the middle institution?

Yeah. Thought they named after Mariah
Carey.

Love you too, Netta.