Original subtitles

People ask, where do you get your ideas?

Right here.

Oh, this is my magician's toy shop.

I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is...

Have you changed your mind?

No, Simon.

I have not and I will not.

You know what you're doing.

Very well.

It is you who does not know what he is doing. A splendid historical thing.

And you, Etilvire, bearer of the most famous name in our military tradition,

should be ashamed that you refuse to go with us. It is an ill -conceived

escapade.

You will all be destroyed.

I choose to die at home.

As you wish.

Why are they here?

You gave me your word.

I'm sorry.

We need you.

We need you.

I'm glad he broke his word, Atul.

But there is no hope.

Here, none indeed.

But there, at least some hope.

Don't die, Father.

Please go with them and come back to us.

You may die in shame in front of your own wife and son.

Or rise up in glory to travel across space?

I will rise up in glory.

To die later.

We leave at dawn.

I shall grant you house arrest to say your farewells.

Father, why was it hard to choose?

Guess.

Up there, millions of miles away, there's a planet called Earth.

They call us, strangely, Martians.

And tomorrow we Martians fly to invade Earth.

But you are a soldier.

Let me show you something, Kit.

These are treasons.

Fantasy on Mars.

Unbelievable stories.

Earth magazines.

Forbidden. Forbidden?

Why? Your great -grandfather brought these back when we made our first visit

Earth. He thought they were amusing.

But our leaders did not and ordered them to be burned.

But he saved some for me to read.

Well, why should they be burned?

Because they say all our invasions failed.

Invariably, our heroic warriors, our grand warships, were destroyed in this

-ago literature by one young man, usually lean and well -muscled, someone

Mick or Rick or Connors or Banyan, but most often Rick.

But that's stupid.

But generations of Earthmen have read and absorbed these stories.

The literature of winning...

Always winning against the green monsters.

Us.

They'll be waiting and ready for us.

Yet we fly to attack and die.

But we're not green monsters.

And I don't think that Rick is waiting there to destroy you.

You may be right.

But I'm sure something is.

Earth.

What a silly name.

What a silly planet and a silly people.

We shall crush them.

And grow them up and crush them again.

It is our destiny.

Earth is doomed.

Doomed.

Calling Martian invasion fleet.

What? This is Earth calling.

I am William Summers, president of the Association of United American

What did he say?

Land, and be welcomed, all of you.

Our planet, Earth, is yours.

We are all brothers.

Must be a trick.

We shall soon find out.

They're ready for us.

Uniforms. I can see strange weapons.

For Valor, Martian warriors.

Now!

On your guard, men.

A war song.

What are the words?

Oh, the monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole.

Earthmen, I call on you to surrender.

What's he saying, Bob?

You must realize your position is hopeless.

You must give up.

What? What? I said you must give in. Why are you here?

Come on, then.

No, wait. Come back. Come back.

What?

I'm not sure.

But be careful.

The key, sir.

Symbolic, of course.

The key to Earth.

It conquered our hearts.

What?

Conquered? And won us over.

Won?

And not a short fight.

Come up here and give us a few words.

Well, uh... Thank you for accepting the, uh... We

are glad to be here.

Have one, buddy.

Thank you, pal.

Greetings, pal.

What's

this?

It's called Hot Dog. How do you know? I used to read banned literature.

A signer, don't you feel it?

Feel what?

I'm not sure.

What a plan.

Something evil and terrible. Look, all I know is they're going to do something

to us.

It'll fire the mist. Fire, fire, fire.

Well, they're sincere.

But I feel as if we were in a big acid vat melting away.

Thanks for the fire.

All right, we'll kill every one of them. How can you kill people who give you

flowers and call you pal and buddy?

Do you know what hail fellow well met means?

Why, sir, it's the glad hand.

We're big hearted. Yes, sirree.

Chug -a -lug.

You chug -a -lug first.

Don't mind if I do.

There's nothing to worry about.

We take their food and drink. Now we take their town.

Men, fall in!

Attention! A parade!

No, we're moving into town.

We shall place small garrisons of men about to be sure all's well. Hey, and

sure you've got ships all over doing the same thing.

I admire your professionalism, sir.

Forward!

Our band is yours, sir.

The Attila.

It is Attila.

Kett? It's your father. He is talking to us.

To think that in my naivety I imagined the Earthmen would have to counterattack

with guns and bombs.

But no.

No.

I was fairly wrong.

There is no Rick.

Or Mick.

Or Banyan.

They're robots with pink rubber bodies.

Real, but somehow unreal.

Alive, but somehow automatic in all responses.

We have been dropped like a shovel full of seeds into a large concrete mixer.

Nothing of us will survive.

We will be destroyed not by the gun, but by the glad hand.

Good night, Dilla.

I shall now go back and make a last attempt to save our souls.

I shall probably die in the attempt.

My love to our son. My love to our son.

Have you been saved, sir?

What?

Have you been saved?

This will save me?

Yes, sir.

Then you will go to that far better place where we all are one day going.

A better place than this?

A peaceful land of milk and honey.

Why, yes.

Everyone happy?

Yes, yes.

I remember.

You can't.

You haven't been there yet.

But I was born there. No, no, you got to die to go there.

But first, you must be saved.

Shall we gather at the river Where bright

angel feet have trod With this crystal

tide forever

Came out of nowhere, you know what I mean?

Where are they taking him?

To the best mortician money can buy. And not to worry, son, he'll look as good

as new.

I'll take you to see him in a bit.

But first, you need a drink.

You are a Martian, right?

Yeah.

Waiter, bring Manhattan to him.

Don't touch your wallet, kid. This is on me and Vic Studios.

Fake studios.

They're movies, son. The silver screen.

The name is Von Planck. Maybe you've heard of him.

What's this?

Well, you don't do movies without a contract.

You know, the idea came to me in a flash.

Mars invades Earth. Great idea for a movie. All I had to do was to find a

Martian hero. And bingo, like fake, there you were.

Skull kid.

Now, you're going to want money, and we got plenty of it.

Plus, I got a little black book here filled with peaches. I don't like your

earth food much. Now, here's what I got in mind, right?

Martians, the night before they leave for Earth.

Right? This big powwow. The drumming, the drumming.

Everybody's getting stewed. We don't get stewed on Mars.

There's a golden city in the background. There's no gold on Mars. There is now,

kids. Go.

Cut to the Martians. They're all dancing around this big fire. Then the lovely

Martian lady comes in. She's blonde.

Martian women are dark.

Not anymore. Look, kid, you're making a hit movie here. You've got to give the

fans what they want.

By the way, what's your name?

Ethel. A woman's name.

From now on, you're Joe.

Joe, Martian superstar.

What'll it be, Joe? What do you say?

I'll give you a hundred grand guaranteed, plus an option on three more

So, uh, come on, kid. Sign it up.

Uh, oh, Van Plank.

Yeah, that's, uh, Richard. Richard Robert.

Richard.

The old friends... I mean... Do they

ever... call you... Rick?

Rick, yeah. Yeah, sure, Rick.

So you're the one.

It was you all along.

No bulging muscles.

No blonde hair, no lean jaw.

Just fistfuls of drinks in a fat belly.

Hey!

Rick!

Oh, destroyer of Mars!

Rick!

Rick! Hey, you're inside your contract yet? Rick!

I can make you a star!

When a bird's victory marches, you said they never had a chance.