Original subtitles

People ask, where do you get your ideas?

Well, right here.

All this is my Martian landscape.

Somewhere in this room is an African veldt.

Just beyond, perhaps, is a small Illinois town where I grew up. And I'm

surrounded on every side by my magician's toy shop.

I'll never starve here.

I just look around, find what I need.

And begin.

I'm Ray Bradbury.

And this is... Well then,

right now, what shall it be?

Out of all this, what do I choose to make a story?

I never know where the next one will take me.

A trip?

Exactly one half exhilaration.

Exactly one half terror.

I told him not to invest in that stock.

Well, would he listen to me? I got out ahead of everyone.

I guess the place to start is at the beginning.

There, at that boring party where we first met.

No, look, he became a dictator.

I'm serious.

I think I'm supposed to be somewhere else.

Oh, I don't know.

Want a drink?

No, no, I'm fine. Thanks.

Stanley, this is not a fine mess you've got me into.

Excuse me. Hi.

Bye. No,

but if you... Bye.

Ollie.

Well, Sally, it's another fine mess you got me in.

I'm sorry, Ollie.

I was just about to say the same thing myself.

Well, don't just do something. Stand there. I mean, why don't you do

instead of standing there?

I will.

Trust me?

Yes. Well, then.

And trust her, I did.

As though I'd known her all my life instead of five minutes.

Ready and willing to place my fate completely in her hands.

What is it? I don't... Okay,

where are we?

You know, look.

What?

Can't be.

It is?

But Laurel and Hardy never made a movie here. 4 ,000 miles from here. The music

box?

57 years ago.

But then what is that up there?

The piano box.

The music box that Laurel and Hardy carried all the way up the steps and

chased them all the way back down again in 1931.

We shot this one -minute commercial here today with Laurel and Hardy look

-alikes, and we couldn't afford to fly to Los Angeles, so we found this hill by

God and these steps, and we paid 40 bucks for that piano crate.

You want to see?

We're going up there?

Together.

How long do you think it'll take to get to the top?

Oh, six months.

Or, if we're lucky, 30, 40 years.

Race it to the top?

No, uh, no.

I want us both to win.

And when we get to the top, what then?

We'll be in need of a kiss.

Ah, suddenly I...

Oh, Stanley.

Oh, Ollie.

I don't want to go to the top.

Why?

Because then we'll just have to come back down.

Oh.

Okay. About pace. You move the altar, Hardy, and I'll be the piano. Chase you

down.

And like that music, Buck.

Head over heels, I fell in love.

The one they did about a gorilla who wore a ballet outfit and then did a

dance in their room.

The one about when the bad guys twisted their heads around back.

And then there's the one where Stan lighted his thumb like a cigarette

right?

Thank you.

They adopted a baby, remember?

And then his wife left him? And they had to take care of it alone? Whose wife?

Dan. Ollie. Ollie.

Oh, I got an idea.

Incredibly in love.

We said it. We knew it.

When we weren't staring at each other, we were hugging.

When we weren't hugging, we were kissing.

Here's another fine mess you got me in.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Ours was a love affair.

Thank you.

Printed out in capital.

Underline it. Find some metallic.

Add exclamation points.

Put up the fireworks.

Tear down the clouds.

Anyway, it was the 4th of July every night.

New Year's every dawn.

It was a bobsled downhill and everything cold racing by in beauty and two warm

people holding tight and yelling with joy.

Laurel and Hardy, we would be forever.

Or almost forever, until everything went to hell. I never laughed so much in my

life.

But it has to stop sometime, doesn't it?

What?

Well, the laughter.

Why should it?

It always does.

Not with us.

Why did you ask that?

All good things end, don't they?

Gotcha.

What? You never played the game Gotcha? I never even heard of it.

I've been playing it all my life.

What do you buy it, in a store?

No, no, no, I made it up.

I almost made it up.

And if you're real good, one night soon.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

Hello.

Well, hello.

Spur of the moment.

Wild idea.

Be ready. I'm taking you on a vacation to... Paris.

Nope. London.

Nope.

Rome.

Gotcha.

You remember?

Oh, the game. What's it called again?

Gotcha. That's a game I never heard of, right? You'll love it.

I love everything we do.

It'll scare the hell out of you.

Here we are.

Do you realize what part of town this is?

That'll be $15.

Rates are kind of high in this place, aren't they? Cash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you have an elevator in this place?

If there is, I ain't seen it.

Line from an old movie.

Oh, good, good. That's great.

Crackers and cheap champagne. That's wonderful.

Tuna fish.

This is a vacation.

Open the cheap champagne.

Here we go.

Yeah.

Just a minute. I'm all the way. Darling, darling, darling.

Don't worry about the scarf.

Here's to the last night of your life.

I beg your pardon?

White silk pajamas?

For a Chinese funeral.

In there.

This is really...

This is a game, right?

Come on.

Yeah.

What do we... You must follow my instructions

now. No arguments.

For the next half hour, not a word, not a sound, no matter what.

Silence.

Complete and utter silence.

Silence.

Time forgot you?

Time.

When the alarm goes off, it's over.

Not a second before.

Not a second.

Okay? Okay.

Proceed.

You are not supposed to talk.

How do you like it so far?

I don't speak.

uh i don't i don't like this game can we stop this game

now please lisa where are you

Do you hear me?

Would you answer me, please?

Alicia?

You okay?

Two minutes. Two minutes.

Two minutes.

Oh, John. Oh, honey.

Oh, honey, don't cry. Don't cry.

Please don't. I didn't... I didn't realize that...

We're all right, aren't we?

We're okay?

Everything's all right?

Okay.

Listen, I have a great idea.

Let's play the game again tomorrow night.

Yes, yes, this time, I'll be in the bed waiting, and you can hide and jump out

and say gotcha.

No.

What?

No.

No.

Let's go, John.