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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,360 Didn't you realize that there is nothing healthy to eat at the student union? I 2 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,240 had to go off campus to get this protein smoothie. 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,080 Only protein I want is in a quarter pounder with extra cheese. 4 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,219 No, T, it's really good. You should try it. 5 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,040 Hmm. 6 00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:22,460 And the smoothie's kind of smooth. 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,420 They should serve smoothies here. 8 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:28,320 Yo, hey, why don't we open up a smoothie bar? 9 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:29,920 That's a great idea. Yeah. 10 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,600 Let me try that. 11 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:37,460 Need butter. 12 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,940 Yo, we want to set up our own smoothie bar. There's nothing healthy up in here. 13 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,260 What are you talking about? Last week I served zucchini. 14 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,540 Yeah, but Woody, it was fried with a mayonnaise dipping sauce. 15 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,200 Pretty good, wasn't it? 16 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,040 Come on, Wood. We can make a grip. 17 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,920 You know, you might be on to something. 18 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,860 I'll tell you what. You're in business as long as I get a cut. 19 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:40,878 Hey, cool. 20 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,320 We're going to need a blender, some ice, and a rolling cart. 21 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:44,860 And my cut just got bigger. 22 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,018 you guys. 23 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,280 Hey, uh, Kim, is your mother around? 24 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,560 No, she's at the mall. 25 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,700 Perfect. I can tell you my good news. 26 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,940 I'm gonna be on the Mac show. 27 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,480 You gonna be on Bernie Mac? 28 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,480 No, not that show. The Mac. 29 00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:08,580 You know, it's the show where a lucky player gets to chill on a date with four 30 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,740 fine honeys. 31 00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:14,780 Michael on a date with four other women? Oh, hell no. 32 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:18,380 Maybe he's right. 33 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,470 It should have been me. 34 00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:22,990 Oh, I get it. It's a dating show for old people. 35 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:25,990 It's not for old people. 36 00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:30,370 It's for single, attractive men, you know, with pimp juice. 37 00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:34,070 More like prune juice. 38 00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,330 Sorry, boo, but I can't allow that. 39 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,750 Oh, it's a done deal. 40 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:45,470 They've got me and the ladies all lined up, and there's nothing you can do about 41 00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:46,470 it. 42 00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:52,170 Professor, don't you think those type of shows are a little low -brow, 43 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,770 sophomoric beneath you? 44 00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:57,370 Did I mention there's a hot tub? 45 00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:20,709 What's up, Stevie? 46 00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:21,710 How must we make? 47 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:25,610 Zilch. It's probably the scary hat. What the hell was Kim thinking when she made 48 00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:26,610 these? 49 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,570 Kim, we're the fools wearing them. 50 00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:33,410 Uh, Kim? 51 00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:34,830 What are you doing? 52 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,370 Drinking a frappuccino. You want some? 53 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:43,030 No, Kim, I don't want some. You're supposed to be drinking a smoothie. 54 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,600 Look, y 'all, we need a new angle to step up our game. 55 00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,600 Yeah, well, a new taste might do it. 56 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,020 Yeah. How about pizza? 57 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,140 For a smoothie? 58 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,120 No, for lunch. I'm hungry. 59 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:03,300 I still can't believe the professor's gonna be on the Mac. 60 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,240 This show must be on his way out. 61 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:09,780 Shut up, Ann Dow. 62 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:14,240 Now, my poop is sexy, and those women are gonna think so, too. 63 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,860 Nothing you can do about it. You just have to watch him on TV like everyone 64 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:20,860 else. 65 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,800 I don't think so. 66 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,060 I just can't watch my boo hook up with some hood rat. 67 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,120 Hey, where you going? 68 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,840 Down to the studio. I have to find out where this date is going to be. Nikki, 69 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:35,140 don't. How many years is it going to take you to realize that man don't want 70 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:36,140 you? 71 00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:54,190 blend of wheat germ, spirulina, and brewer's yeast. Sure to get your wheels 72 00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:56,570 turning. And your stomach, too. Ew. 73 00:04:58,470 --> 00:04:59,590 T, go ahead. Try some. 74 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:00,890 Nah, that's all right. 75 00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:02,370 You try. 76 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:03,670 Uh -uh. You try. 77 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,590 Ooh. Okay. Yeah. Maybe we should try yours first. 78 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:14,090 Mmm. 79 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:16,450 Dang, Kim, that's whoa right there. 80 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:24,300 Just thank my Nana. She's from Jamaica. It's her recipe. She sends me and Mama 81 00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,300 gallons of it. 82 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:26,340 Thank you, Nana. 83 00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,440 Yeah, Ma. Rasta love to Nana, huh? 84 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,490 You know her? 85 00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:58,970 Of course he does, boo. 86 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:02,070 He picked me. I'm the fourth contestant. 87 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:06,410 Damn! 88 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:14,590 You can't be a contestant. Oh, yeah, I can. 89 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:20,110 Thanks to my winning personality, flamin' body, and my striking 90 00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,110 Halle Berry. 91 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:25,590 Oh, isn't she great? She's just so... 92 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,620 Fresh. 93 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:32,000 That's why I bumped our fourth contestant for her. Who needs a Miss 94 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,500 Tropics? Miss Hawaiian? 95 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:40,360 You know what? It doesn't matter, because America chooses the woman, and 96 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,820 never pick you. 97 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,060 All right, places, everyone. We're about to start the show. 98 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,160 Uncle Crest. 99 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:09,580 And standing next to me is this week's Mac, Stanley Ogilvie. 100 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,280 America, you know the rules. 101 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:23,720 If she's not Mac material, call and vote her off. Last one remaining will be the 102 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,040 professor's one and only shorty. 103 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:31,000 That shorty will enjoy a date with... The Mac. 104 00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:36,540 And will receive one complimentary appetizer at a restaurant of their 105 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:40,040 Yes, yes. I know. 106 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,920 Now let's hear from The Mac. 107 00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:52,980 Looking for a woman who's sexy, employed, 108 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:57,720 and is as Macalicious as myself. 109 00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:14,150 Jennifer, Sarah, Lola, and Nikki. 110 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:15,570 Hey, Pooh. 111 00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:18,650 Hi, everybody. 112 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:23,830 I'm Jennifer, and I am from the beautiful city of El Segundo. 113 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:30,310 In my spare time, I love planning weddings, going to weddings. 114 00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:06,090 Lola wants, Lola gets. 115 00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:11,990 Girl. 116 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,050 Hey, America. I'm Nikki Parker. 117 00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:21,390 Full -time student, single mom, and not only can I cook in the kitchen, but also 118 00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:22,470 in the bedroom. 119 00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:29,410 And just so y 'all know, these women don't stand a chance. 120 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,370 Holla. 121 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,920 She means business, folks. 122 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,900 Well, we've met our lovely contestants. 123 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,140 Now let's get ready to play the Mac. 124 00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:50,940 Okay. 125 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,960 So, Sarah, 126 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,340 tell me, what is your best asset? 127 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,580 My relationship with the Lord. 128 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,760 You switch with Jennifer. 129 00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:10,680 So, Jennifer, tell me, what is your best asset? 130 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,460 I can say I do in four languages. 131 00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:20,180 Okay. 132 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,540 Yeah, now you, Miss Parker. 133 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,220 Yes, well, ask me anything. 134 00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,460 Could you give me another drink? 135 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,520 Okay, Lola, tell me, what... 136 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:37,890 What is your best asset? 137 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:40,110 Actually, I have two. 138 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,490 Meet the girls. 139 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,550 Hello, ladies. 140 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,530 You want to know what my best asset is? 141 00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,210 Not if you're going to do that. 142 00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:58,630 Come on, ladies. 143 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:00,010 Let's go dance. 144 00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:02,810 Let me see who can drop it like it's hot. Come on. 145 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,920 Let me hear you shake a tail feather. 146 00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:12,820 Oh, my dancing is for heathens. Oh, you need to loosen up. 147 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,600 We must always be on guard against Satan. 148 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,100 Oh, I'm sorry. Is he on the show? 149 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,840 Hit it, DJ. 150 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,900 Just follow my lead. 151 00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,190 pretty wild out there, folks. 152 00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,470 Well, you've had some time with our ladies, so what do you think? 153 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,760 And it looks like Jenny is no longer on the block. 154 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,540 Bye -bye, Jennifer. 155 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,280 What? Well, who's going to be my baby daddy? 156 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,460 Okay, no, no, no. For a daddy, okay? 157 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:38,240 Check all your friends and relatives that our smoothies are off the tisane. 158 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,440 All right. 159 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:42,820 Pam, your grandmother's concoction is making us so rich. 160 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,520 I'm watching Mama. 161 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,140 Mickey's on TV? 162 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,460 Yeah, she's on the mat. 163 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,550 Look at those women. 164 00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:52,650 Nikki is the only respectable one there. 165 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,310 She does not stand a chance. 166 00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:57,450 Say, I need to speak to you three. 167 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,930 Oh, here for another smoothie, Officer Taylor? 168 00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:05,210 Uh, no, I've already had two, and after drinking them, I fell off my bike twice. 169 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:06,630 You know why? 170 00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:08,630 You clumsy? 171 00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:13,390 No, I was drunk from your smoothies. Man, 172 00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:17,920 you tripping. Our smoothies are all... Naturally. Yeah, I'm not so sure about 173 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,440 that. I'm going to take a sample and get it analyzed. In the meantime, close up 174 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:22,920 shop and give me the rest of the smoothies. 175 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,000 Shouldn't one be enough for a sample? 176 00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,820 Yeah, but I'm having a big party this weekend. 177 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,920 And we're back. 178 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,160 We had to say goodbye to Jennifer. 179 00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:37,460 Now let's head to the steamy hot tub. 180 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:43,220 Let's see what Mac Daddy Stanley thinks when he sees these honeys in their 181 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,220 bathing suits. 182 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,400 You look, uh, very nice. 183 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,740 You don't think it's covering too much? 184 00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:59,780 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 185 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,620 Uh, Sarah, you look, uh, very hot. 186 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,980 And not in a good way. 187 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:14,280 My body is, is my temple. And not something to be ogled ogle thee. 188 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,580 Aren't you gonna say anything about my baby, too? 189 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,660 Does it come with a coat? 190 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,960 I just hate you. 191 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,440 Hold me, boo. 192 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,360 Caramel Thundercat? 193 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaking of caramel, Sarah, if you were to make me a romantic meal, what would 194 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,279 you cook? 195 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,760 Whatever you'd want, as long as we'd say grace first. 196 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,640 That's nice. 197 00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:16,800 How about you, Lola? 198 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:21,040 Well, desserts are more my specialty. 199 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:26,000 I can do some amazing things with whipped cream. 200 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,300 When I cook it! Yeah, sorry, I'm full. 201 00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:35,060 Uh, Sarah, um, what would we do on our first date? 202 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,300 Oh, we'd go to Bible study. 203 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,500 How did you even get on this show? 204 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,120 Oh, my brother's the producer. 205 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,060 God bless you, JB. 206 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,660 Forget them. This is my idea of a fun date. 207 00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:58,860 Daddy like. 208 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,960 Well, mama don't. 209 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,260 Enjoy that. 210 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,980 It's got the report of what's in your smoothie. 211 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:20,180 And? Well, let's see. There's fruit, honey, yogurt. 212 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,500 See, 100 % natural. 213 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,650 and also 100 -proof rum with some unidentifiable mushrooms. 214 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,150 Wow, we should charge more. 215 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:33,050 I'm shutting you down permanently. You're lucky I'm not arresting you. 216 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,410 You're not going to arrest anyone. It should be Kim. 217 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,170 She's the one flinging her grandma's concoction. 218 00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:42,830 I don't get it. I've been drinking this daily since I was a baby, and there's 219 00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:43,830 nothing wrong with me. 220 00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:49,850 You're right. Shut us down. 221 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,020 America has voted again. 222 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,980 And it looks like we'll be saying goodbye to... Sarah. 223 00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:01,380 Uh -uh! 224 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,560 America picked these heathens over me? 225 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,300 I'm gonna pray for all of you. 226 00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:10,780 That's right. Get that camera off me. 227 00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:17,160 Looks like Sarah needs to spend more time in Bible study. 228 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:19,940 For the final round. 229 00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:22,950 I will be asking each of you the same question. 230 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,270 Why do you think you deserve to be chosen, 231 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,310 Lola? 232 00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:34,470 He's hot, and I'm hotter. And together, we could burn. 233 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,270 She gets my vote. 234 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,010 Nikki? 235 00:17:48,490 --> 00:17:52,190 From the first moment I saw him, I knew he was the yin to my yang. 236 00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,930 My world was forever changed for the better. 237 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,870 He completes me. 238 00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:04,130 And whether America chooses me or not, I know in my heart we belong together. 239 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:13,150 I know who I'd vote 240 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,150 for, America. 241 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,750 How about you? 242 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,760 I'll find out. 243 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,740 Quick, Lola, pull your top down again. 244 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,680 Mickey Parker must go. 245 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,520 No, I haven't called before. 246 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,320 We're almost ready with our results. 247 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,000 Okay? Drum roll, please. 248 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,220 It's the moment we've all been waiting for. 249 00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:50,320 It's time to find out who America has eliminated. 250 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:53,520 And it's... Nikki Parker! 251 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,040 Yes! Yes! 252 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,760 Thank you! God bless America! 253 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,200 Wait a minute. 254 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:08,660 Thank you, boo. 255 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,480 I just found out that our tabulation machine was stuck. 256 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,720 It's actually... 257 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,240 Lola, who's been kicked to the curb. 258 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,040 Our winner is Nikki Parker. 259 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:30,320 What are you thinking? 260 00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:32,520 Did you not see these? 261 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,680 I guess it's ta -ta to you and your ta -tas. 262 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,200 No, no, no, no, no. I counted again. The voting was rigged. 263 00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,380 Go with me. 264 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,200 See, boo, even America thinks we belong together. 265 00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:58,860 America? 266 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000 You suck. 267 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:07,679 Hey, Woody. 268 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,100 Hey. What are you doing here? I'm here to take you to dinner. 269 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,220 Oh, I'm sorry, Woody, but I'm going to dinner with the professor. 270 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:14,920 He's the one that sent me. 271 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:17,820 Well, where is he? 272 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,020 On a date with Lola. 18989