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1
00:00:00,539 --> 00:00:05,000
So anyway, I told them, I don't care if
President Bush wants the presidential
2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,080
suite. I have it.
3
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,440
Hey, but isn't the Four Seasons Hotel
kind of expensive?
4
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:12,640
Not if you're rich.
5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:18,600
My lawyer said I will be receiving my
inheritance tomorrow.
6
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:23,700
Well, Professor, if you're so rich, what
are you doing here? Oh, you know, I'm
7
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:27,440
still the same old humble, you know,
unaffected Professor Stanley.
8
00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:33,190
Hey, hey, watch it. These are $1 ,200
custom -made brutal molly loafers.
9
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:39,210
What? That clumsy old stuff, that man.
10
00:00:39,850 --> 00:00:40,850
Yeah.
11
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,970
Now, uh, where were we?
12
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:46,750
Just talking about how humble you are.
Oh, yeah.
13
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:51,030
So, well, how's Paris adjusting to life
in the joint?
14
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:55,070
Well, I hear she has a boyfriend named
Greta.
15
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,320
Boo, I am so happy that you're here.
16
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,620
Now I can get back to our wedding plans.
17
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:07,020
Let me go!
18
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:10,300
Crackpot.
19
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:15,180
After everything that I've been through,
I'm not marrying anyone.
20
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,640
Ever. That's just post -traumatic stress
talking.
21
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,520
Now I heard you're staying at the Four
Seasons Hotel.
22
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:25,340
How about I come by tonight and bring
you room service?
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00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,260
Me a la mode.
24
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:29,300
Laughter.
25
00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:14,260
Let her within ten feet of me. Go ahead.
Come on.
26
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:17,820
Hey, Bob.
27
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000
Hey, Nick.
28
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,040
Thanks for the pie.
29
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:23,540
Here you go.
30
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,060
This certified letter came for you.
31
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,660
Don't expect any references from me,
Bob.
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00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,100
Oh, and this is your last issue of the
Black Hand magazine?
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00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:40,580
It's from the feds.
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00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:45,180
It's probably from President Bush. I
made a generous contribution to his
35
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:48,760
campaign. Us rich guys have to stick
together.
36
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:56,200
What is it, Bo?
37
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,480
Does Bush want you to help him find Bin
Laden?
38
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,300
It can't be.
39
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:08,220
My uncle owes $9 ,999 ,000.
40
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:15,150
$190 in back taxes.
41
00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,890
And that leaves you with... Ten bucks!
42
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,090
Oh, ten bucks! Let's roll.
43
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:27,350
This can't be. I'm supposed to be
filthy, stinking rich.
44
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,970
You? We all had that money spent.
45
00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:37,870
But I maxed out all my credit cards. I
wrote checks against money that
46
00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:38,870
I'm never going to get.
47
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,340
Do you have your apartment until the end
of the month?
48
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:49,840
You're right.
49
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:51,500
A few more days.
50
00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,780
Thank you, Stevie.
51
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,520
Wait up, boo. I'll help you move.
52
00:03:58,060 --> 00:04:00,020
Unpack, undress, whatever you need me to
do.
53
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,040
You're pretty strange, aren't you?
54
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:12,420
What's going on here?
55
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,740
But I'm Jack. I moved in here two weeks
ago.
56
00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:25,600
Well, you don't know Jack, Jack.
57
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,060
This is my boo's apartment.
58
00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:31,400
Look, I guess the landlord thought I was
gone and rented it out.
59
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,720
Okay, well, if you're here, you can say
what I've done to the place.
60
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:44,160
Oh, damn!
61
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,260
You must have had a whole construction
crew in here.
62
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,220
Actually, I did it myself.
63
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:56,560
Well, um, if you're not busy, can you
come upstairs and take a look at my
64
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,740
Cool, cool. I got you.
65
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:00,640
Who are you?
66
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:05,400
Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I'm Nikki Parker,
and this is my fiancé, Professor Stanley
67
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:10,940
Oglebay. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. I am
in no way associated with this woman.
68
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,280
Don't pay him no mind. We did the nasty.
69
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:16,539
Come on, boy.
70
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:17,540
Come on.
71
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,700
Now, with Kim being gone, There are no
pesky kids to mess with our flow.
72
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:28,680
Jack, if you hear something that sounds
like a coyote in heat, don't be alarmed.
73
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,740
It's just him.
74
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:37,480
You are nuts. If you think that I would
ever move in with the likes of you, I
75
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,580
have options.
76
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,380
He dripping, he dripping.
77
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,800
your act together before 7 o 'clock.
Look at this mess.
78
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,920
I'm sorry, Woody. I overslept.
79
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,720
You know, I could lose my job if the
dean got wind of you living here. Look,
80
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,440
you sure that Mavis won't let me live
with you guys?
81
00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:08,080
Professor, I'm lucky that Mavis lets me
live there.
82
00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,220
Damn.
83
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:12,880
Hey, boo.
84
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:14,420
Hey, hey.
85
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,480
What are you doing here at this hour?
86
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,480
Why don't you just stop this foolishness
and come on with me where you belong?
87
00:06:21,469 --> 00:06:23,910
What on earth is going on here?
88
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:26,090
Well, I'm as shocked as you are, Dean
Witter.
89
00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:30,250
What are you doing in your pajamas?
90
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,510
Uh, casual Friday.
91
00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:35,170
He's lying.
92
00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:39,170
He's living here because he's broke and
homeless.
93
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:43,050
That's preposterous.
94
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,570
Is it true?
95
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,490
Yeah.
96
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,420
Isn't this against school policy?
97
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,860
It certainly is.
98
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:58,760
Ogilvy, this is not a dormitory. Now, if
I catch you in here again, it's
99
00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,860
automatic termination.
100
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,500
Oh. By the way, the cost for the
additional cleanup will be coming out of
101
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:05,500
paycheck.
102
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,060
Great.
103
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,240
That's great!
104
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,480
Now, you see what you've done?
105
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:13,340
Our love nest is ready for you, boo.
106
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:17,180
I'd rather lie down with dog.
107
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:39,250
Breakfast is on the stove.
108
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:42,549
I got your morning paper. Pick up your
dry cleaning, shine your shoes, and
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00:08:42,549 --> 00:08:43,770
texturize your hair while you were
sleeping.
110
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:49,470
All right, I need this ironed in five
minutes. I'm late for class.
111
00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:53,890
Oh, okay, no problem. And your lunch is
in your lunchbox. I hope it's not filet
112
00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:56,010
mignon and scallop potatoes again.
113
00:08:56,990 --> 00:09:00,670
Okay, well, just give me a minute, and
I'll whip up some braised lamb chops.
114
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:14,010
I must be crazy because this is from my
private collection.
115
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:16,210
I only pull this out when I'm about to
get busy.
116
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,350
Well, that explains all it does.
117
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:27,370
Look, thanks, girl. It's the professor's
favorite.
118
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:30,410
And I want to surprise him tonight with
a romantic candlelit dinner.
119
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,190
Gotta go.
120
00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:34,810
What's his problem?
121
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:35,929
Girl, he hungry.
122
00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:39,270
Well, tell him to get up off his lazy
behind and get him some food. Since when
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00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:40,270
have you become his maid?
124
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:42,910
This is a dream come true.
125
00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:45,030
We're officially living together.
126
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,630
Girl, I would clip his toenails with my
teeth if I had to.
127
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,280
Is that something you need to do? Yes,
and I'm doing it.
128
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,980
For God's sake, can't a man have peace
in his own home?
129
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,600
See?
130
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,340
He called it his home.
131
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,220
Nikki, you really need help.
132
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,240
You're my girl, and I can't stand to see
you being treated like that.
133
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,920
Girl, he didn't mean it. Now, he loves
me.
134
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:46,460
He was just stressed out. You know
everything he's been going through.
135
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,379
your compassion?
136
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,140
The same place your dignity is.
137
00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:54,020
Don't do that, okay?
138
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,680
Now, he's just been a little testy right
now.
139
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,760
That'll all change as soon as we're
married.
140
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,080
Ernest and Nikki, he is not going to
marry you.
141
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,880
Look, I had this girlfriend named Gigi.
She lived with this guy for 13 years,
142
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,300
cooking and cleaning.
143
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:14,000
She just knew he was going to marry her,
but he didn't. He figured, why buy the
144
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,600
cow when you can get the milk for free?
145
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,380
The 12th.
146
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,500
See, I told you.
147
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,300
Of never!
148
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,040
Come here.
149
00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,680
Here.
150
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:06,560
Look, I know you love him, but if you
want any shot at marrying him, you can't
151
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,560
live with him.
152
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:08,800
Where's he gonna go?
153
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,540
I'm all he has.
154
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,720
And if he continues to stay here,
155
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,060
you won't ever have him.
156
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:22,460
Okay, so basically, we have to get Jack
out of the apartment so we can move the
157
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,400
professor back in and I can marry him.
Make sense?
158
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,500
Okay, good.
159
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:31,600
Now, I figured if we became the
neighbors from hell, we can run him out
160
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,600
in no time.
161
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:36,380
Wait, wait, hold on. I'm not sure this
is going to work. You were the neighbor
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00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,060
from hell and that didn't run the
professor off.
163
00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:41,110
That's because my boo loves me.
164
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,190
Oh, boy.
165
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:05,810
And trim the bread.
166
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:07,390
And can you make that quick?
167
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,270
You know what?
168
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:13,390
What? Get at your damn self.
169
00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:21,450
What? Did I stutter?
170
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:24,350
Get off your lazy behind.
171
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:26,450
Now, I am not your maid.
172
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:41,260
Now, I may be your future wife, but I'll
be damned if I'm going to be your
173
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:46,920
doormat. Now, as of right now, I will
not allow you to disrespect me, boss me
174
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,620
around, or stomp on my heart.
175
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:49,980
I have feelings.
176
00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:52,420
Wait a minute.
177
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,520
Shut up.
178
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:57,340
I'm not rude.
179
00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,960
Now, see, I don't mind doing nice things
for you.
180
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:04,860
God knows I don't. But please and thank
you, it goes a long way.
181
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:08,010
And besides, you're not that cute.
182
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,270
Okay, I was tripping you all day.
183
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:19,710
But you know, I have to draw the line
somewhere, boo.
184
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:23,270
You know what?
185
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:26,310
You showed me more respect when we were
courting.
186
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,730
You gotta go.
187
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:39,220
I deserve that.
188
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,160
I'm sorry.
189
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,680
I'll just go pack my things.
190
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,560
I hear the mission has some beds.
191
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,660
You're not going to a homeless shelter.
Yeah, why not?
192
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,840
I'm homeless.
193
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,480
And I need shelter.
194
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,500
Okay.
195
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,040
Wait a minute.
196
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,700
Why don't we go and...
197
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,200
See if Jack will let you move in with
him. You know, just until you get back
198
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,200
your feet.
199
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:12,720
I don't even know the guy.
200
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,860
I can't live with a complete stranger.
201
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:17,900
Okay, okay.
202
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:23,300
Well, if you stay here, I'll have to
insist that we sleep together.
203
00:16:25,660 --> 00:16:27,300
Yeah, I'll see if I can work this out.
204
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,790
Well, if it ain't no stick in the mud.
205
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:41,450
Look, Jack, I didn't mean to... What Boo
is trying to say is, can he move in
206
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,370
with you? Hey, hey, hey, I don't get
down like that.
207
00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:45,930
Can we come in?
208
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:53,470
Look, my boo's been going through some
tough times lately, and he needs a place
209
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,149
to stay.
210
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:55,350
Well, why can't he stay with you?
211
00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:58,630
He is, but I'm tired of giving him free
milk.
212
00:17:00,370 --> 00:17:01,370
Please, Jack.
213
00:17:01,830 --> 00:17:02,930
He's got nowhere to go.
214
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:05,300
Well, okay.
215
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:08,000
Okay, okay. Well, only because I like
you, Nicky.
216
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,940
Really? Oh, thank you.
217
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,200
All right, you can move in, man. But I'm
going to need half a first, last, and
218
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,200
security.
219
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,440
Wait a minute. That's 1 ,200 bucks.
220
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,319
I ain't got that kind of... It's a deal.
221
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:22,780
Are you nuts?
222
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:23,960
Are you homeless?
223
00:17:25,339 --> 00:17:26,859
We'll be back tonight with the money,
Jack.
224
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,260
Hey, hey, hey.
225
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,520
No checks, no problem.
226
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,279
Hey, what's up?
227
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,280
Here you go.
228
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:43,420
$1 ,200.
229
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,440
That's what I'm talking about.
230
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,940
All right, well, you can move in first
thing in the morning.
231
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,500
Well, come on, boo.
232
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:59,080
Uh, let's go home so we can enjoy our
last night of living in sin.
233
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,480
Don't you mean living in hell?
234
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,100
Must have left the door open for us.
235
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,600
Hey!
236
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,700
Where is all the good stuff?
237
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,300
I guess he decided to let me have the
apartment for myself.
238
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,300
How did he get those marble columns and
the hot tub out of here?
239
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:28,980
Who cares?
240
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:34,480
Just take these two cases to my bedroom
and... Or I could do it.
241
00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:37,140
Really?
242
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:44,610
Jack who? The guy that rented my
apartment. I haven't rented this
243
00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:45,710
since you left.
244
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:46,990
No, now that's impossible.
245
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:51,290
Jack had his place laid out. So they've
been living here for what, two weeks?
246
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,350
Those darn squatters.
247
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,890
They've been squatting all over the
neighborhood.
248
00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:58,030
A squatter?
249
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:01,290
I gave him $1 ,200 to move back in here.
250
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:04,430
Well, you better call the cops because
you've been robbed.
251
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,790
Can the professor move back in?
252
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,200
Of course he can.
253
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,560
Thanks,
254
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,060
Jerry. That's great.
255
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,840
But I'm going to need first, last, and
security.
256
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,700
What?
257
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,540
We just sold everything we had to give
to Jack.
258
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:22,400
Come on, Jerry, have a heart.
259
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,640
I do.
260
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,400
I didn't raise this rent.
261
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,620
Okay, wait a minute.
262
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,340
Jerry, I have an idea.
263
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,220
You missed us, my baby.
264
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:55,200
It sure is good to see things back the
way they used to be. Yes.
265
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:58,300
Listen to me and listen good.
266
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:03,140
Things are not going to be the way they
used to be.
267
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,160
Starting with Miss Parker.
268
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:10,620
I will not allow that woman to bulldoze
my life anymore.
269
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:12,470
That's right.
270
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:20,750
Go get washed up. Dinner will be ready
in a minute, baby.
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