Original subtitles

Nikki, I hope this Valentine's Day party pays off.

Oh, it will.

The Mardi Gras theme is a great idea.

Now, lucky for you, I thought of it, but you might not make a dime.

Well, if I don't make any money, maybe at least I'll get a date.

You better hold out for the money.

Oh, good news, Andrea.

Oh, you got B2K to perform at the party?

Better. We got Freestyle Unity.

Well, at least you guys are free.

You know what else would be a great idea for the party?

A fortune teller? Mm -mm. I don't need somebody to tell me I'm spending a

fortune.

I don't know. I think it sounds like fun.

Yeah, think about it, Andell. If your customers get good news, they'll toast

their future. If they get bad news, they'll drink themselves stupid.

Either way, you make money.

Yeah. Good thinking. Uh -huh.

Uh, Kim, baby?

Yeah, Mama?

Is that you?

Also looks like you hunt peacocks.

Don't pay any attention to her.

No offense, Patty, but you and I know that psychics and fortune tellers are

con artists.

So let's talk business. And you can drop that phony Miss Cleo accent.

Miss Cleo? How dare you?

She's from Jersey.

My friend's just upset because she ain't got a man.

Understandable.

A few drops of my...

Powerful love for sure.

And you will fall hopelessly in love with the next one you see until the day

die. Unless you die laughing before you can drink it.

I see bad things happening to you.

Ooh.

Too hot.

Yes. Why don't you drink my love, Alexa? You'll be smoldering with passion.

Girl, please. You ain't no psychic. You a psycho.

You know what?

find somebody else. Thank you.

Did I tell you I see bad things happening to you?

I just leave you this sample and my card.

I guarantee you'll be calling me.

What a wacko.

And I don't know. You shouldn't mess with those kind of people.

Girl, you might wake up one morning and discover you're a frog.

Please, it's all a scam and I'm going to prove it to you.

And now, where do you want me to put these?

Oh, just put them in the back, Woody.

What?

Feel anything?

For Woody?

Just the usual nausea.

Smells delicious, Kim.

Yep. Fried chicken, french fries, and fried rice.

Now this is what I call a well -balanced meal.

I thought you got it.

You know I can't eat my chicken unless my throat is on fire.

Okay, I'll get some. Okay.

Here you go.

Too hot.

That's what I'm talking about.

I'm going to be breathing fire.

Well, you do have dragon breath.

Hey, T, make something for me. All right, it's planned for everybody.

Oh,

shoot. This is a new top.

You know, this is pretty good.

Yeah.

Have you ever seen someone so gorgeous?

Or with such a nice butt?

Uh, what's going on in here? What, this?

Nikki,

do you have Woody's phone number? I can't get him off of my mind.

Has everyone gone crazy?

For too hot.

And now this crazy potion worked.

That has nothing to do with this.

I just realized that Woody is the smartest...

Most handsome man on earth.

Damn!

This is some powerful stuff.

Who is it?

It's me, boo.

Boo's not home.

Okay, but I bought some very expensive wine and I wanted you to tell me if I

my money's worth.

good with these kinds of things.

Well, uh, I suppose you could use my palate. Ah, well, your palate's not the

only thing I'm going to use.

There you go.

Oh, uh, boo, I forgot a glass for me.

Could you?

Night.

Hello.

Excellent bouquet.

Good lay.

Will you just drink it?

And, Del, will you be my baby mama?

No!

She's barren. I'm fertile.

Look at me.

Why?

Stop teasing me, you vixen. I must have you now.

We gotta get that mess out of you.

Kate! Kate!

You're crushing my ribs.

I'm leaving.

No! No!

Don't go. Never leave me. No!

Go, Endell. Go. Get.

No. No.

Till later, my love.

Endell, we've got to find Madame Patrice.

Why? Does she know where Woody is?

Madame Patrice!

Madame Patrice, I need the antidote to that love potion.

Patrice knew you would come.

Madame Patrice knows all.

Madame Patrice... Madame Patrice better give me the antidote.

For a hundred bucks.

Why, you little no -buck. Uh -uh. Father, you must give me a hundred

say that I'm prettier than you.

You know what? This is... Here.

And you're prettier than I am.

You are wiser than you look.

Thank you.

And Bax, he's the one that prettier thing.

rum cake recipe.

That's some new Caribbean coconut.

Now give me the damn recipe or I'm going to turn you into jerk chicken.

Okay, okay.

I will have the antidote ready in 24 hours.

If I can find a rat.

Well, unless those are teeny cats with a...

even prettier when I eat.

Hey, you two haven't touched your lunch.

Who needs food when we can live off of our love?

I'm getting fat just looking at you dummies.

Hey, Nikki.

Where's Andel?

I know you said something to keep her away from me. Hater.

Oh, please.

Andel came to her senses on her own.

Look, Nikki, don't mess with my meal ticket.

I can see it now. Ann Dale's in Woody's place.

Yeah, yeah.

Baby. Sugar love.

Darling,

please. Are you following me?

To the ends of the earth.

He doesn't love you like I love you.

Do too. Do not. Do too.

Then does that clear things up for you?

Oh, come on, boo. Let's go.

Get away from me, you...

Keep it down. You're interrupting my date.

All right, man. Let's take this to the parking lot.

One man gets her, and one man dies trying.

Professor, be a lover, not a fighter.

Well, Woody, what are you waiting for?

Oh, it's on now. All right, sneak out the back. Wait, wait. I

thought you were going to the parking lot to fight Woody.

I didn't say when.

best friend.

Stop that.

Now you two come with me.

At last we can be alone.

Madame Patrice!

Madame Patrice!

Get out here, you witch!

Where's Madame Patrice?

In the island. She got deported.

No problem.

A hundred bucks.

For what?

Bone shock on my ass.

You better be lucky I'm giving you this money and not a beat down. Yeah,

whatever. Lock up when you're done.

Hey,

you two want a room?

Hell yeah.

All right. Get back here and help me find this antidote.

I'm going to miss you, T.

I'm going to miss you more.

How do you both feel?

Horny. Oh,

that witch ripped me off.

This is going to be a horrible Valentine's Day.

Oh, my God.

T, the party. We have to get over 10 deals.

But I'm not finished.

Later, baby.

Oh, you're so strong. Come here, girl.

It must be missing something.

I know.

The rat's tail.

I can't tell you got me stacking my mail.

Freeze.

Don't move. Let me do what I do. I need a woman in my life and I'm thinking it's

you.

a 72 Eldorado with leperskin seat covers and expired plates?

It's not for sale.

I don't think the cop wants to buy it.

Don't leave me, Woodrow.

I'm sorry, baby. I gotta go make sure the love mobile's not told.

Sweetheart, I must talk to you. I can't bear it.

I need you. I worship you.

You come.

Here's my picture.

Now beat it.

Hey, Andel.

Andel!

My poor boo.

Miss Parker, my life's over.

Don't say that, boo.

Come over here. Come on.

I don't understand.

I mean, you barely even noticed Andel before.

It's probably because you were blocking my view.

Look, Professor.

It's Halle Berry.

Who cares?

And she's with Andel.

Where?

Oh, I'm sorry.

My bad.

Don't worry, Professor.

Andel will come around.

And I'll just have to accept it.

But we can still be friends, right?

When were we ever friends?

Here, drink this.

It'll help you feel better.

Thanks.

Come on, Woody.

I knew she would come back to me.

Woody, if anything would have happened to your car, I would have drove you

Our home, if you wanted to be.

Referee?

Hell yeah!

Miss Parker, I can't take it anymore.

I'm going to go right over to Indel and propose marriage.

Marriage? Whoa, whoa. You can't do that.

Oh, watch me. No, wait, wait.

First, a toast to true love to Stanley and Indel.

A toast to me and my love, Indel.

Oh.

Miss Parker, wish me luck.

Oh, Woody, you have such big, strong, manly ears.

I work out, you know.

You again?

And, uh, will you marry me?

Hell no.

This is the man that I'm going to marry.

Hold on. No one said anything about marriage. We're only talking about

up.

And, uh, why are you forsaking me? Why won't you love me? Why?

Why am I down here?

Did I drop something?

Oh, it worked.

Boo, you're back.

Back from where?

Get off me, woman. Now.

Oh.

I don't feel so good.

You'll excuse me.

Oh.

Oh.

You're right, baby.

We don't have to get married. We can just live together. I'll have your

and give you every cent I earn.

Babies? Here, Randall.

Drink this.

No, I don't want anything to drink.

Well, um, I happen to know that Woody likes his woman a little sloshed. Oh,

me that glass.

Your mouth must be dry.

She's feeling good about it.

Hey, Mama.

Hey, baby.

So, you guys still don't remember anything strange happening in the last

of days?

No. But Stevie's been acting kind of funny.

Hey,

do you guys know if it's against the law to marry yourself?

myself.