Original subtitles

you dressed? It's one o 'clock in the afternoon.

So?

It's such a nice day. I thought we'd go down to the beach and go rollerblading.

Okay, I meant go watch some rollerblading.

I don't want to go to the beach.

It's too happy.

You aren't still moping around because Mel got married, are you?

How would you feel if your ex -husband got remarried? Oh, please. Like any man

would ever leave me.

True, because you have to actually have one in order for him to leave you.

I just thought I'd get married first, and he was supposed to grow old and die

alone. Hey.

Hey, Kim. So, Mama, have you decided what you want me to get you for your

birthday? Nothing. Good, because that's how much I got to spend.

This year, I don't want a party, a cake, cards, or any other reminder of how

miserable my miserable life is.

Oh, what are you talking about? You have a great life. I mean, you don't really

have a career, and so what? You still live with your daughter.

And yes, you're only in junior college, and big deal, you've got no man.

Damn, Nick, why do you even get up in the morning?

in charge of the decorations.

And, Andell, you got the food.

Okay. Hold on.

It's Nikki's birthday. What are you gonna do?

What I always do. Show up and eat and party.

Hey!

Speaking of which, where are we gonna have this party she doesn't want any

of? Can't we have it at your club?

Uh, can't. It's being fumigated.

For what?

Oh, one lousy roach in the salad and some customer calls the board of health.

It wasn't like it was a lie.

All those in favor of someone else being in charge of the food, raise your

hands. Oh, boy.

Who's planning on going to Cardboard Hill?

No more free food for you. Now, you know you ain't never gave me no free food,

because if you did, I wouldn't have called the Board of Health.

We'll have the party here.

Yeah. Okay, what about a cake?

I think we should get one.

What's going on in here?

Don't worry, Mama. We're not planning your surprise birthday party.

birthday party.

You also said you didn't want one of those personal massages, but look how

fun that turned out to be.

Mama, a birthday party would be what you need.

Yeah, birthdays are always fun.

But not that I know. I mean, you'd think my parents could remember my being

alive at least once a year, but no.

Stevie, Stevie.

Get a shrink.

Well, you loved birthday parties when we were kids.

Well, I'm not a kid anymore.

Besides...

We had Tebow the Clown.

Remember? Mm -hmm.

Alakazam, Alakaboon.

Watch out, y 'all. T -Bone's in the room.

T -Bone! T -Bone!

Now, where's Mickey, the birthday girl?

Here I am. It's my birthday.

Let's see what T -Bone has for you.

Kazam!

happened to your hair?

You were always Tebow's favorite.

I love me some Tebow.

Oh, well, so much for being young and having dreams.

Mama, what about your birthday party?

I don't care, baby. Do whatever you want.

Poor Nikki. I hate seeing her so depressed.

Me too.

She's really bringing me down.

But I know something that'll put a big smile on her face.

A booty call from the professor?

No, something that could actually happen.

Come on, Mickey. It's your birthday party.

The least you can do is say hello to your guests.

Hello, guests.

Any luck?

She says she's not coming out until her life gets better.

I'm a misser.

Nick, come on out. The professor's here to wish you a happy birthday.

I don't care.

Happy birthday?

Kim, you told me this was a going -away party.

You lied to me.

Oh, it's not the first time.

That's it.

I'm out of here. No, come on, Professor. Stay.

I mean, you're already here, right?

Yeah. All right. I'll stay here.

If she stays in there.

Watch out, y 'all. Tebow is in the room.

Wow.

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

I mean, wow, you're old.

Phew. Just smell my flowers.

I hope that's water.

Is Mr. Mickey Parker here?

Yeah, but she won't come out of her room.

Well, until I drop by.

Hold on, you clown.

You're not going anywhere.

Used to be.

And she's not the little girl she used to be either.

Oh, I haven't seen you in years.

I can't believe you're actually here.

Well, I wouldn't have missed your birthday party for anything in the

I came here just for you.

Well, then why did I have to bribe you with $500 and a trip to Sizzler?

Clowns have to eat, too.

Okay, boys and girls, grab hands and make a circle.

Tebow is about to perform.

Who would like to smell my flower?

twist you into.

It'd look great at anything.

T -Bone, T -Bone, make me a giraffe.

Quiet. It's not your birthday party.

Oh, look.

It's another cute little elephant.

It's a parrot.

Get your eyes checked, Stevie.

Okay, young lady. Would you like to smell my flower again?

You're not going to give me this time. I'm too smart for that.

Okay, but no hard feelings because this one's for you.

Oh, that's pretty.

I don't know what it is, but it gets me every time.

I haven't done that in years. Besides, I didn't bring it with me.

Oh, I got one.

See, I brought it to work out with, but now I just use it as a drying rack.

Here you go.

Nikki, I'm not as young as I used to be.

Oh, please, Tebow.

Do it for me.

Okay, I guess jumping up and down on it a few times won't kill me.

I have to go tell her family what happened.

Come with me, boo.

I could use your support.

Why? I didn't kill him. You did.

See? I knew it. I killed T -Bone. No, no. Okay, come on, Nikki. You did not

that clown.

Yes, I did.

He didn't want to jump on that trampoline. He said so himself.

on a trampoline.

Yeah, you might as well push them off the balcony yourself.

If y 'all will excuse me, I gotta go talk to a family about a dead class.

The place looks great. Tebow would be proud.

I'm just really glad his family let me have the memorial service here.

Somehow, it just makes me feel better about... about first -degree murder.

Where's Tebow's friends? The service was supposed to start over an hour ago.

Maybe all their little clown cars got stuck in traffic.

Baby, um, this isn't a party. It's a funeral.

Tebow the clown, he fell off the balcony and now he's dead.

Really? Yeah.

I knew we should have got here earlier.

Let's get out of here. What is up?

Uh, may I have everyone's attention, please?

If everyone would take a seat, I, uh, would like to get this memorial service

started.

occasion sad enough?

Uh, I want to thank everybody for coming.

This memorial service is for our friend and loved one.

He was just a great man.

Tebow!

Oh, baby.

I believe that Freestyle Unity would like to perform a tribute song for

Yes, Bubba. Okay, baby.

It's not way of saying Say goodbye to an old friend. All right.

I'm Tebow's agent.

Oh, oh, well, please, tell us how Tebow affected your life.

Well, come on up. Come on up.

Actually, I only came to see if he was really dead.

I just got him a booking, and I'd hate to lose the commission.

Who wants a job?

You, sir.

You look funny.

something about Tebow.

Oh, come on. Come on, baby.

All right.

Yeah.

Get yourself together.

My name is Thomas, and Tebow the Clown was my father.

You might think it's fun being the son of a clown, but when I was a kid, I had

to wear my dad's hand -me -downs.

You try going to high school with polka dot pants and rainbow suspenders.

In my yearbook, next to my pigeon says, most likely to get a pie in the face.

And let me tell you, there's nothing worse than a mean clown.

I'd get a whooping at least once a week for no reason at all. You too?

Thank you, Thomas.

Thank you. You know why my mother's not here today? I don't know her.

Because he was a lousy husband, too.

That sleazy womanizer had little clowns all over town.

Which really surprised my mother because she said, for a man with such big clown

feet, he sure had a tiny...

was just overcome with grief, just overcome.

You, sir, why are you here?

Tebow was my best friend.

Finally. Come on up.

Yes, best friend.

That's what he said.

Tebow and I were best friends for 50 years. That's a long time.

He was the best man of my wedding, and he was the godfather to all three of my

children. Which is why I can't... understand why he sold me out to the

He laughed as they cuffed me and took me away.

But who's laughing now, Tebow, huh?

Who's laughing now?

I'm glad Debozo's dead.

Remember? I thought I was going to a going -away party.

It was for Tebow.

Somebody better say something nice about Tebow quick.

Okay. Uh, well, I guess his act wasn't that lame.

Did need to work on that landing.

Forget y 'all.

Now, I have something nice to say about Tebow.

Now, true, he may have been a liar, a thief, a cheat, a lousy father and

husband, but he was a damn good clown who made lots of people laugh,

me. And I, for one, will always remember Alakazam.

Well, Nikki, that memorial service was really great.

Yeah, but, uh, next time, can you get some honey wings instead of barbecue?

Get out. What?

Get out. And take her with you. Go on. Out of my house.

Bye.

See? has been the worst day of my life.

First, I kill a man.

Then, I throw the worst memorial service known to man.

Or a clown.

I'm just a horrible person.

Mama, sure you killed a man, and yes, it was the worst memorial service ever.

But that doesn't make you a horrible person.

No, it makes me a clown killer.

And a bad party planner.

Mama, if you died today, nobody would say those things about you.

You don't think so?

Uh -uh. Everybody loves you.

Well, everybody except a professor.

You know what? What?

I do have wonderful family and great friends. And we were all here for you

today. In our own way.

You know, when I think about it, I'm really blessed.

Thanks, baby.

Oh, and Mama, for your memorial service, I promise I won't mention the

whoopings.

Hey, Kim. Hey. What's with the flower? Oh, it's one of those trick flowers that

Tebow used.

I'm gonna get Mama with it.

Hey, y 'all. Hey.

Mama, smell this.

Stevie thinks it's a gardenia, but I think it's a jasmine. What you think?

I think you're both crazy.

It's plastic.

to the B.

But I know something now. Big, big, big.