Original subtitles

Five, four, three, two...

Hey, boo.

For me, you shouldn't have.

I didn't.

This package was left at my door, but it has your name on it.

Oh, well, you know the mail.

Wait, boo.

Are you coming to my tree -trimming party?

Uh, no, no, no. I'm coming down with something.

It's not until Christmas Eve, and that's next week.

Then I'll be sick until Christmas Day.

Give you any ideas?

I need to go water my plants.

But you can't ski.

But I can, lookie.

Well, hold on.

You guys are going to Mr. Tree Trimming Party.

It's our tradition, baby.

Mama, please don't make me feel guilty for wanting to have fun before I get old

and corny like you.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Go on ahead and have fun, baby. Thanks, Mama.

You know what that outfit needs?

I've got just the perfect thing.

Mama's rabbit cup.

a couple of more times, you might end up with a decent leather coat.

Girl, just go get me the crazy glue.

Mama, why don't you go down to Randall's and use my employee discount to get you

a new coat?

Eh, I guess it is time for me to retire old Peter Rabbit, huh?

Oh, look at you.

Going scared, you like?

Yeah. But while you're freezing your butt off in the snow, I'm... I'll be

tanning mine on a white sandy beach in Jamaica.

And don't tell me you're not going to be at the party either.

Okay, but you'll probably figure it out when you don't see me there.

What is wrong with everybody this year?

Now, we always have a true trimming party.

That was before I got a $50 plane ticket to Jamaica.

Now, where's that sarong I loaned you?

What sarong?

The one from Gucci.

Um, see, the one Mama's using as a Christmas tree skirt?

That's a $300 Gucci saran. I can't believe you used it on your little funky

dried -up tree.

After I ripped it, I just figured you wouldn't want it anymore.

Just for that, I'm keeping those earrings I bought you for Christmas. And

glad I'm not coming to your stupid Christmas party.

Not choking.

I'm sorry.

Oh, you look mighty nice in that coat, young lady.

Thanks.

Now, for this price, this rabbit better be Bugs Bunny.

It's Christmas Eve. Go on, treat yourself.

My daughter would look so cute in this coat.

I can get myself a rabbit next year. They're cheaper after Easter anyway.

That's sweet of you.

Well, that's what Christmas is all about.

You'd be surprised how many people forget that.

True. That is so true.

Well, nice talking to you. Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you

to be spreading joy with your singing? Not when she's trying to push up on my

future boyfriend.

Okay, what about Erin?

Can't a girl have a backup plan? A backup plan? You're hitting on

that breathes.

You're such a drama queen.

Ma 'am, are you going to buy the perfume?

I beg your pardon?

Uh, security?

It's a sample, you moron.

Oh, my bad. This smells good, though.

You're coming with me. What's up?

We're going to take a little trip to a place I like to call Security Town.

I saw you trying to steal the shoe.

Steal it?

I was just trying it on.

Save it, all right? We have you on our surveillance cameras?

I didn't do anything.

Tell it to the feds, all right? Man, you tripping on Christmas Eve. Yeah, you're

going to be in on the trip.

Where are my manners? Would you like some?

I'm going to take that bed and shove it down your throat. You sorry? Excuse for

Santa. Just for that, Santa's crossing you off his list.

Where are you going?

To the North Pole. Santa's out of Hennessy.

precious come here baby you know

santa used to be shy just like you but one day santa's mama

said santa don't you know there's no one in the world more special than you and

at that moment i knew there was no reason for me to ever be shy again now

santa what you want for christmas

I'm sorry, baby, but, uh, Tennessee's just fiance and laundry, right?

Here, suck on this till I get back.

Wouldn't this fit her better?

Excuse me?

Hey, boo.

Ho, ho, ho.

That's it.

Now you've gone too far.

Desecrating the sanctity of Santa.

The other Santa was an obnoxious drunk. Just stop it.

Now you ruined Christmas for me forever.

I'll never be able to look at Santa again.

Don't be mad, boo.

Get out of my way.

Hey, little girl.

Have you been naughty or nice?

I've been nice. But I'm about to get buckwild.

wearing any pillows girl that's all you attention all randall

shoppers randall's will be closing in 15 minutes merry christmas and thank you

for shopping at randall i better hurry back and get to the kids yeah i gotta go

too because i gotta pay for this leopard thong i have on

hey uh waltz heard you were looking for me

yeah uh fred said to have All of the security guys turn in their uniforms at

customer service window.

Oh, good.

Because I'm about to get my Christmas on. Oh, so you've got big plans.

Oh, yeah. See, I'm going to be hitting the slopes with some fine snow bunnies.

Then I'm going skiing.

You know what I mean?

Well, what about your family?

I guess you don't know what I mean.

Huh?

Hey, what are you guys doing here? The store's closed.

Walter told me and Kim to turn in our costumes here.

Yeah, he told me the same thing.

This old security guard with a hacking cough told me to come up here and pick

a free gift certificate.

That same guy told me to come up here and get free gift wrapping.

You don't have to wrap my gift, boo.

Well, this is obviously some sort of joke. I've got better things to do on

Christmas Eve.

You got a date?

Oh, you're just mean.

Well, I have a plan to catch, so Merry Christmas, y 'all.

All right, y 'all, don't panic. I got my keys.

Yeah.

They don't work. Now you can panic.

Somebody help, I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Somebody do something. I can't spend my whole Christmas Eve in a department

store. I got shopping to do.

This one's locked, too.

I don't understand.

I never had a problem with these keys before.

If I'm not getting my freak on with some cute cabana boy at 12 hours, somebody

gonna pay.

Now, first things first.

We need to get some light up in here.

I can't see my boo.

Then why is your hand on my butt?

Because it makes me happy.

Tim and Stevie, light those candles.

Wait, hey, I know. I'll just set off the alarm.

Yeah, good idea.

I know this alarm works. We had a drill like two nights ago.

I can't believe we're stuck.

Oh, come on, guys.

No, it's not that bad.

I mean, at least we're all spending Christmas Eve together.

Where's the gun department?

Come on, Professor.

Now, as a child, didn't you dream of being locked in a department store so

could play with all the toys?

Yes, yes, I did.

But my dream didn't include you.

A black Skip and Mindy doll.

Don't they remind you of us?

At least one of us is out of his misery.

Check out my man, G .I. Joe. Remember him, professor?

Aren't you a little old for dolls?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Yeah, we're all too old for toys.

Unless, of course, they're adult toys.

I know.

Why don't we play Secret Santa?

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

I mean, we are in a department store, so we can just take whatever we want.

Okay, as long as it's a $5 limit.

I want a budget.

Here, Endell.

Open your gift.

Merry Christmas, Vandell.

It's Gucci.

Just like the other one.

Uh, no. I just said that to make you feel bad.

Actually, mine was from the Cheryl Teagues collection.

Prada.

I did good, right?

Hell, yeah. These are $400 shoes.

Hey, for you, money's no object.

All right, who's the cheapskate that got me the socks?

What, I told you I was on a budget.

Here, Professor, these two are for you.

How did I end up with two gifts?

Yeah, I was your secret Santa.

I'm your own business, Santa.

Open that, boo.

Looks like an engagement ring.

I accept.

I didn't get you an engagement ring, you fruitcake.

Here, Nikki, open your gifts.

Ken said you needed a new rabbit coat, but they must have sold the last one,

so... Thanks, Stevie.

See, this didn't turn out so bad after all.

Oh, yeah, sure. You get a coat, I get socks.

What difference does it make? We have to return these things.

Oh, no, I didn't get a receipt.

The professor's right. This whole thing is stupid.

I mean, those shoes aren't even my size.

Oh, my bad. Maybe I should have gone to the children's section.

Come on, guys, come on.

Now, let's not let the Grinch steal our Christmas.

I got it.

Let's put this star on top of the stool's Christmas tree. Oh, yeah,

fun.

Come on, guys.

Oh, no!

Fire! Fire!

What? Yeah, like we're gonna fall for that. No, she's right. The tree's on

Marshal T.

What idiot put a candle under the tree? Yeah.

But it looks so pretty.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

But it doesn't have to be.

I have an idea.

Why don't we sing Christmas carols? Nobody wants to sing those stinking

Christmas carols. Yeah, she's right. Now, will you just back off and let us

wallow in peace?

That...

and giving, but it's obvious that you all have forgotten about that.

Now, I don't want to be here on Christmas Eve either, but I choose to

best of it.

Now, I'll have a merry damn Christmas even if I have to spend it alone, so

forget y 'all.

You know she's right.

Y 'all just trifling.

She was only trying to make us feel better.

It's not her fault that we stuck here.

As much as I hate to admit it, I did have fun in Santa Land.

Yeah, I guess we were just acting like selfish jerks.

Miss Parker was the only one with the true Christmas spirit.

Christmas was never big in my house.

Heck, no holiday was big in my house, so... These past few years have been

really nice, spending the holidays with people I really love.

And people who love you back.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Good times we bring to you and your kin.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

You know, boo.

Don't ruin the moment.

What's going on in here?

Fred. Man, am I glad to see you. We got locked in here.

Well, lucky for you, I'm making my rounds.

But why didn't you use your keys?

I tried, but they didn't work.

That old security guard Walter put a fast one on us.

Walter?

There's no security guard here named Walter.

Sure there is. He's the one with the bad cough.

Lady, I've been here over 20 years. I'm telling you, there's no Walter here.

Okay, this is really creepy.

Well, never mind that.

I'm just glad we got to spend a little bit of the holiday together.

Now, to you guys, Harry, you won't miss your trips.

Well, actually, Mama, I've decided that I'm going to your, I mean, to our annual

tree trimming party.

I can leave for my trip tomorrow.

Yeah, me too, Harry. Yeah, me too. Tomorrow.

Oh, what about you, boo?

Count me in.

This is the best Christmas ever.

Merry Christmas, Nikki. Well, open it up.

Wow.

Who is it from?

Oh, you got to be kidding.

You too, Walter.

at the blockers happy holidays