Original subtitles

Hey, baby.

Hey, Stevie.

Hey, Stevie.

So you got a date for the concert Sunday?

No, you?

I'm still sorting through some offers.

Kim, the last offer you got came with a free cell phone.

What about you, Nikki?

No, I've got plans this weekend.

Mama's going away this weekend to slap skins with Kimmy.

Well, why don't you just announce it to the world? Okay.

None of us have dates. Let's just go together. I mean, why should we have to

depend on men?

Because they buy us chicken.

And dinner.

Hey!

Well, I got to run to class. I'll see y 'all later. All right, bye. Bye -bye.

Well, Mama.

Yes, ma 'am.

Man, how will Mama get my cell number?

Doesn't your Mama pay your phone bill?

So? She pays my car note, too, but I don't give her the keys.

My boy Pookie got me on a VIP list for this hot new club tonight, but I gotta

babysit my cousin so my aunt and my mom can go to Vegas.

So get someone else to do it.

Yeah.

Stevie? Okay, someone else.

You and kids?

That would be abuse.

What about Nikki?

Uh -uh, she's going away with Kenny to get busy.

What about you?

They didn't invite me.

I meant, can you babysit?

Good looking. Ow.

Bill, my mama.

All over for her.

She should be here any minute.

Good.

Well, that's a first. He actually wants to see Nikki.

Yeah, Kim.

If I was you, I'd check to see if he was packing.

Uh, Miss Parker, um, I was, uh, wondering if I could have a moment of

I'm sort of busy with my boyfriend.

Maybe later.

Much later.

I don't think I'm backing down. I'm just, you know, moving away.

He just doesn't know when to stop.

Well, who can blame him? He shouldn't be so beautiful.

Thank him for giving us a preview to his concert.

Just a little preview to the concert.

Miss Parker, look, look.

I know it was a little deceptive, but my heart was in the right place.

I just wanted you to know how I felt.

Sorry, Professor, but I got to leave.

did i come here for you're cold yeah you got to be nervous yeah

besides the booty call that you got from daddy when is the last time you got

your groove on and flying solo don't count it

hasn't been that long let's see this is two thousand

weekend you can get.

Hello? Nikki, please.

My Mr. Professor again.

Tell him I'm not home again.

Tell her I heard that.

He said he heard you.

I said that because he can't have you.

And Ella's right. You need to move on.

Yeah. The professor had his chance.

And Kenny is great.

Thanks, Puddin'. Now let me get downstairs before Kenny decides to drive

And if you need anything, just call me, okay? All right, bye, baby.

Hello?

Hey, Stevie.

Cute Reggie and fine Omar?

Tonight?

No, we're desperate, but I got a baby sick.

Yes, I do want to date for Sunday.

Okay, bring them by around 9 o 'clock. By that time, I'll have the baby asleep.

Okay, girl.

See ya.

Hey, Kim.

This is my little cousin, Kevin.

This is Kevin.

A pleasure to meet you.

your cousin was a baby. Oh, he was.

Once.

Come on, girl. Help a brother out. It means really no problem.

And neither are his cousins.

Cousins? Come on, y 'all.

Me and the priestess and little Johnny Kool -Aid.

T, you didn't say nothing. Girl, I gotta bounce. I'll holler.

Sup, baby?

Your crib is banging.

but that was me out there.

I know what you want.

You got any 40s?

I'm not getting you any malt liquor.

Cheapskate.

I want another

Pop -Tart.

You've already had four.

But I'm eating for two. What?

Me and my imaginary f...

Is your mother here? I have something important I want to ask her.

She and Kitty left for the weekend to get their freak on.

But she can't. Oh, sure she can. It's just like riding a bike.

What about this, then?

Oh, Professor, it's so saddening. No, not for you.

It's for your mother.

I was going to ask her to marry me.

Really? Yes.

Now, where are they so I can stop them?

They went to the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Nothing. I know something's wrong.

You skipped dessert.

I guess I'm just feeling a little nervous.

If you think it's too soon for this, baby, I can wait.

It's not that.

Not really. I mean, you've been great.

Really great.

And my head is saying Kenny, but my heart is

saying Stanley.

I'm sorry, Kenny.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

You know, I wouldn't trade these past few weeks for anything.

I just hope Stanley knows how lucky he is.

You know I don't have a problem reminding him.

Kenny.

Hello?

Okay. All right, all right, all right.

All right.

What would make the most impact?

Okay, I got it.

I'll jump out of the closet and I'll just ask her to marry me. Yeah, that's

That's something they would do on Ally McBeal.

be right back.

I love you. I love you too.

Parking the car. They'll be up in a second.

It's a little rug rat asleep.

Rug rats.

Evan Ford.

He played me. What?

Don't worry. I got everything under control.

Good, because this is our last chance to get a date for Sunday. And we're going

to get that.

Oh, hey.

How you doing?

Why don't you guys have a seat?

What's this?

Oh, Squish Gummy Bear.

How about a drink?

Sure, sure.

Hey, Kim, this is a nice place you have here.

Oh, I like it, but I like to go out, especially on Sunday nights.

Oh, yes, Sunday is a great night to go out.

Kim, why don't you put on some music?

Yeah, how about some Brian McKnight?

Oh, isn't that the same Brian McKnight who's playing at SMC on Sunday?

Oh, yeah, that should be a tight concert.

Do you ladies have dates?

Oh, we're still considering our options.

What options?

Okay, then, let's toast to a good evening.

We had a deal. We don't think you good for them.

I'm gonna take care of these monsters.

out with some psychological profiling, and I saw them bring you in.

You know, the criminal mind is fascinating.

I guess I don't need to tell you that.

Yeah, well, the only reason I'm here is because I embrace your advice and try to

ask Miss Parker to marry me.

Well, Stanley, that's wonderful. That's a major breakthrough. But I still don't

understand why you're here. Yeah, well, I, uh, sort of jumped out of the closet

and asked a half -naked newlywed to marry me.

considered shock treatments?

Look, it was just a big misunderstanding, but you could tell

me out of here. I don't think they're going to want to do that. No, of course

they will.

Guard!

Guard!

Um, Dr. Berger here can vouch for me, so if you don't mind, I'd like to leave

now.

Dr. Berger?

Yeah, he's my psychologist.

Oh, you're nuttier than he is.

What are you talking about?

He's a fraud.

The real Dr. Berger is in Europe. This guy is a janitor.

You... You made me believe I was in love with Nicky Parker.

I'm good, aren't I?

Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll get you out of here.

I'm also a very good lawyer.

My card.

The kid's tied up in our closet.

I'm babysitting.

Oh, okay.

That's when I go on back to sleep, but no.

Tony,

Tony, look.

I've been looking all over for you.

on my work anymore. All I do is have these nasty, dirty, lewd thoughts of

Really?

Maybe you should just let them all pour out.

Oh, I'm too ashamed to tell you, to tell anybody.

My life is just in shambles, which is why I need to take an extended leave of

absence. Just affect it immediately.

Goodbye, Stanley.

No, no, no, no.

All the hoops. I must have been crazy to think that I was in love with you.

Uh -uh. No backsies. Jump.

Jump? I can't.

Just like I'm going to take this ring back.

I did put the pep plug in.