Original subtitles

Kim, this is my daughter.

Oh, she's so cute.

Bye.

Kim, let me explain.

I don't date any married men unless they're married to me.

Kim, I'm not married.

Look, my ex -girlfriend, she couldn't handle the whole motherhood thing, so

took off.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

Because I was afraid you wouldn't want to deal with me.

Come on in.

So this is why you were always running off?

Yeah, I mean...

My grandpa tries to help out, but it's just too much for him.

Is she all right? Oh, yeah, she's fine.

It's just a little gas.

Let me try.

Oh, come on, baby.

Look into my deep blue eyes.

Oh, that's better.

Sorry, that was the baby.

No, that was Mama's chili.

Tea flight over, if you please. Oh.

Mama,

this package came for you. Well, it's probably from Kenny. I don't want it.

come on, Mama. It might be something I can use.

Well, help yourself.

Okay.

Please forgive me, Kenny.

Why is he apologizing to me?

Just open it, Kim.

I see you got the game.

I've had enough of your games.

Nikki, I'm sorry.

Maybe this will help convince you.

Don't move.

Wait, wait, wait. Please, please, Tony.

I'm sorry. Look, I wasn't myself the other night.

Let me make it up to you. Forget it, Stanley. Look, I am not interested in

being...

Bye.

Come on, let's talk.

Away from here.

Well?

You get points for showmanship.

So you accept my apology?

Um, let's talk about it tonight over dinner.

You want dinner too?

I'm just kidding, just kidding.

I'll see you tonight.

So good.

I remember when I used to be able to hold you like this.

Probably still good.

Mama's out, and don't wait up.

Kenny and I may be late.

Oh, come on, Elisa. You were good for Mama.

Bitsy spider.

and good times on Nick at Night.

For real?

No, no, no, no, no. I mean, because I haven't seen Miss Parker all day.

I feel like a kid at Christmas.

Well, don't look now, but here comes the Grinch.

Is it too much to ask for just one day apiece?

Hey, Professor.

What? Have you seen Kim? No, I haven't seen her.

Does my breath stink?

Do I have any nasty food between my teeth or anything like that?

No, you seem the same to me.

Pompous, corny as usual. Why, what's up?

Well, you saw what just happened. I mean, Miss Parker didn't even speak to

mean, she barely noticed me. So isn't that what you want?

Woody, you are so blind.

She's up to something.

Yeah, well, uh... Get ready to leave now, Miss Parker.

Oh, have a nice day.

Yep, yep, yep. I think I'll just go see a romantic movie all by myself.

Yeah. Look, Professor, I'm trying to study here, so could you wrap it up?

Fine.

You don't have to be so rude.

Yeah. Just as I suspected, she's up to something.

You know, she could just be into that pretty boy.

Kenny? Over me?

Would you slay me?

Oh, Kenny.

Good to be with you.

Oh, yes.

Oh, don't stop.

My name.

What's my name? Oh, whatever you want it to be.

Told you I'd make a mean sundae.

No more. I am stuffed.

You know, that was a great dinner and an unbelievable dessert.

Good.

I'm glad it was special.

Just the way you are to me.

You too full for after -dinner drinks?

Well, you know what they say.

There's always room for Alizé.

And I've been so happy.

Me neither.

I got an idea.

How about we go up to the mountains this weekend?

I'll rent a cabin.

We do a little fishing, a little hiking.

Now hold up. So you had me into the hiking.

I don't climb nothing. Hurt myself one time.

We can just spend time in the cabin.

Light a nice fire.

Do some reading.

Or something.

Oh, and if something, that's more my speed.

I take it that kiss meant yes to this weekend.

I'm close, so maybe you should try again just to make sure.

You

think

I'm doing the right thing by going away with Kenny this weekend?

I don't think you should go. Really?

I should go instead.

Kim, what do you think about me going away with Kenny this weekend?

Who's driving?

His. Who's paying?

His. And you still need an answer?

Me and the baby are gonna go visit Auntie Stevie.

Yes, we are.

Bye.

Look, Nikki, this is your best friend talking.

You need to move on with your life and actually get one.

Maybe I should give the professor one more chance.

Why? This is the first time you have a man who doesn't call 911 when he sees

you.

But after all the professor and I have been through, I feel I should give it

just one more try.

I can't believe it. Kim forgot the baby.

Oh, I forgot something.

Right. My keys.

Just kidding.

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey.

That's your girl? I think I got a call from Elisa. Could you hold her for me?

Well, I... Stevie,

what are you doing?

Holding the baby.

That's not how you hold a baby. Okay, you hold her your way. I will hold her

mine.

Besides, the less you hold them, the more independent they become. Who told

that? My mom.

Come on, Lisa.

Let's go get Uncle T some honey.

Um,

Kim, let me ask you a question.

When was the last time just you and Michael went out?

Well, he's been busy and it's sort of hard with the baby.

Are you his girlfriend or his nanny?

Don't be silly.

Oh, yeah, I love kids.

It's so hard to find a guy who's warm and sensitive. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm

blessed. You be sure to comment.

Oh, no doubt.

I can't wait for you to meet Derek and Daryl.

Derek and Daryl?

My twin boys.

Two? Yeah, they're going to love you.

Kim, take this job.

All Miss Parker's fault.

I know she's out there somewhere, ready to pounce on me when I least expect it.

That bee sting went straight to your brain.

Oh, Stanley, my poor baby. What happened to you? It was just a little accident,

but I'm okay.

Look at you. We need to postpone our date tonight.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I've been dying to get you in my apartment.

Okay, well, if you're up to it.

Is there anything I can do for you, honey?

Yeah, a little kiss would be nice.

Family right here.

Well, you know, I am a wild man.

I hope there's more of that tonight.

Oh, don't worry.

There will be.

One more thing.

When you come over, not three times, then two times fast.

All right, bye.

I gotta calm down.

Did I say three knocks, then two? Or two, then three?

Who is it?

It's Tony.

Tony who?

Tony Ross, your date for tonight?

What's your mother's maiden name?

You don't even know my mother.

Don't tell me this is ridiculous.

Just forget it. Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

Can't be too careful these days. Come on in.

Why are you acting so weird?

I'm not acting weird.

Don't answer that.

Why would I answer your phone?

It's her. I know it's her.

Who? Miss Parker.

I know her ring.

Oh, Stanley.

Honey, you need help.

Professional help.

You mean like a hitman? You know someone?

You know, I think I'm just going to go.

No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. Yeah, look.

I promise. Not another word about Miss Parker. Well, good.

Good, because I'm beginning to feel like the other woman here.

You know what? I think a little bubbly will do us good. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I got a nice bottle of Cristal.

But first...

How about a chocolate -covered strawberry? Oh, I love those. Mmm.

Come on, baby, please forgive me. I lost track of time.

Don't you baby me. I have plans tonight.

Baby, I'm sorry, but, hey, I got a job.

That's why I'm late. I was out celebrating with T.

You went out celebrating with T instead of me?

Oh, well, see, I had ran into T first, and, you know, you had to babysit. Well,

wasn't I a babysitter to you?

Okay, baby, look, I know I've been leaning on you a little bit too much.

Michael, we have to be about more than just the leader.

Baby, we are. Trust me, and it's going to be different from now on.

I mean, look, I'm going to be working for Southwest Oil on one of those

drilling rigs. Really?

Great. Yeah, and I'm going to be making good money, too.

And, baby, I promise I'll make it up to you.

Because you're my girl, Kim.

And I love you.

You love me?

Can't we go to real life?

Then I saw her big, round head on Tony's body.

It was horrible.

It's like that movie, The Fly, with Vincent Price.

At the end, there's this fly that gets caught in the web, but it has Vincent

Price's head on it. And all she kept saying is, help me, help me, help me.

Oh, it still gives me the shudder.

Huh.

Pretty bad, isn't it?

Well, this is a tough one.

Really? Yeah, I need a four -letter word for surprise.

What? Uh, no, there's no W.

Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you've been sitting here this entire

doing a crossword puzzle?

Well, not the whole time.

I read the comics first.

Part of my process.

Yeah, well, don't expect to process my check.

All right, calm down, Mr. Ogilvie. You're very uptight.

Then maybe I should have gone to a masseuse.

Oh, ouch.

Very well, then. From all you've told me about this Miss Parker, I can draw only

one conclusion.

Okay, good. Then you'll have her committed?

Your obsessive -regressive behavior is due to one reason.

And that is?

You're in love with Nicky Parker.

Okay.

Now I'm hearing things.

Oh, really?

I thought you just said that I'm in love with Nicky Parker.

I did.

I'm in love with Nicky Parker?

No.

Help me.

Hey, Kim.

Go long.

Girl, put that baby down!

What'd you pack all that for?

I couldn't decide what to wear.

Why? If you and Kenny have a bad weekend, it won't matter.

And if you and Kenny have a good weekend, you won't be wearing anything.

Mama, turn the TV up.

The offshore oil rig is still in flames.

Representatives for Southwest Oil said that every effort would be made to

for survivors.

Oh, my God, that's the rig where Michael works. If something happens to him...

Wait a minute, baby, now. We don't know anything yet.

Your mama's right here.

I have happy men to date women.

I messed that up.