Original subtitles

Hey.

What's with all the books?

What? I can't have books?

Well, it's just that usually yours have lots of pictures in them.

True, true. But now that I'm a married woman, I thought I would read up on how

to have a successful marriage.

These are all about sex.

Get it on tonight.

Mm -hmm.

In between the sheets.

Oh, yeah.

Back that thing up.

There's my little snickerdoodle. Hey, Pookie Wookie!

Uh, Jarell, where are you going with all that?

To our room. Whoa, our room?

Come on, Stevie, he's my husband.

It's only for a week, and then we'll be going to Paris for Jarell's new job.

Yeah, but until then, we need to be together.

Mm, yes, close together.

The minister said our two flesh must become one.

Stop it, Jarell, you're hitting my...

What do you want?

You, a cold bottle of Alizé, and a night of hot, steamy love.

They don't make enough Alizé.

I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face after that fiasco in

Oh, don't worry.

There'll be other good times.

But right now, I really need to talk.

Why me?

No, just dead.

Well, I'm not speaking to her. I mean, I still can't get over this so -called

marriage she's in. That girl's throwing her life away. Look, Kim is an adult.

It's her life.

Uh -uh.

Not after 72 hours, 35 minutes, and 22 seconds of labor.

I own every inch of her.

Better her than me.

Veronica, baby!

Don't you baby me, Stanley.

Why were you in Vegas?

With her, like I said, we were on our way to a wedding chapel.

Look, Veronica, honey, I can explain. Do you realize how many times you've said

that to me?

Too many to count, girl.

It's because you're always jumping to conclusions.

And that's so unfair!

That's right.

You never give me the opportunity to explain. Explain what? It's always some

trifling excuse.

You're not playing fair.

Oh, I hate it when they play games.

Oh, so this whole relationship is just a game to you?

See, there you go again. You're putting words in my mouth.

You don't get no respect.

None, none.

You know what, Stanley?

I think we need a break. Oh, break it down, girl.

You know what? I think that's your best idea yet.

Really? Well, I can do better than that. I think we should see other people.

Oh, why not?

He already is.

Will you stop that?

Look, if that's the way you want it, fine.

Hills, they'll be in Europe.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

I'll be going to Paris.

You'll be going to Beverly Hills.

We're both moving to foreign countries.

Kim, Beverly Hills isn't foreign.

It is to me.

Um, what are you doing?

Al Jarrell asked me to fix dinner.

You? The same person who tried to light the microwave?

a baby girl could have a better life.

And what do I get in return?

A kick in the gut.

You got that in Thai boats.

Don't you have something you want to say to Kim?

No, but you can tell my daughter that she made a big mistake by marrying that

little narrow -butt boy.

Kim, don't you have something you want to say to Nikki?

butt is not narrow. It's perfectly... Please!

You two need to talk to each other.

Oh, she needs to respect me and Jarell. We're not children anymore.

Baby, have you seen my Teletubby slippers?

See, this was supposed to be a frat meeting.

What's up with you?

Nothing.

It's Veronica.

I guess it could happen to anyone.

Oh, I'm feeling you. But don't let that get to you. A lot of men your age have

that problem.

I heard there's some exercise you can do to work all that out. No, T.

It's not that.

It's just that Veronica and I decided to see other people, but it's killing me.

You know what? I'm going to call her. You want to do all that?

I don't. No.

Don't let her play you. You're the player, player.

You don't have to tell me twice.

What you need to do is let her see you with somebody else.

Women always want you more when they see you with another honey.

Yeah?

Yeah. Well, you know, there is a gallery opening that I know Veronica's going to

attend, but where am I going to find a date?

What about Nikki?

Where am I gonna find a date?

Don't worry about it, big dog. I'll hook you up.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Yeah. I'm Clary's good rich, Jarell's mother.

Are you that Parker woman?

Oh, no, she's out. But it's nice to meet you. Come on in.

Stevie, I live here with Kim and Jarell.

Three of you? Oh, Lord, my baby's a freak.

No, it's not like that.

Kim and I lived together until she married Jarell.

Damn, he married a freak.

Well, sure, I mean, Kim's a little experimental, but I wouldn't call her a

freak.

Look, do you know where I can find this Kim?

Oh, yeah, sure. She's down the hall doing her laundry. You know what? I'll

get her. You just make yourself comfortable.

You know, I mean... Make yourself at home, because my home is your home.

Oh, God, the last time I said that to a good rich, he moved in.

Poor thing. Doctor must have slapped the wrong end when she was here.

Hmm. Look like dusty homes and gardens up in here.

You must be Jarell's mom.

Stevie told me you were here. That little white girl with the sister booty.

for what you're doing.

Look, I don't know why you're tripping, but if I do go to jail, it'll be for

whipping your rude ass.

talking about? I'm not married to two women.

That's right, I'm Kim.

Terrell's one and only, Mama Goodrich.

Can I call you Mama?

Things have changed. It's against the law to get married if you're only 17.

But I'm 18.

Not you.

I'm talking about Jarell. What?

Baby,

look. Baby, I swear, I didn't think it was a big deal.

I'll be 18 in a few days.

Give or take 11 months.

Horrible. One minute, I'm a happily married woman.

Next minute, I'm a widow.

But I'm not dead.

Oh, you will be.

I'll blind him with some mace, and you can paralyze him with my stun gun.

Don't get all funky with my child just because your little fast -ass daughter

tricked him.

please just forgive me. I mean, I'll never keep anything from you ever again.

Just give me another chance, please.

Boy, you lied once, you'll do it again.

You need to end this bootleg marriage and stop all this craziness.

Oh, hold up. Nobody tells my son what to do.

Thanks, Ma.

Thanks, my ass.

You need to end this bootleg marriage and stop all this craziness.

I'm crazy, all right.

Crazy in love with Kimberly Ann Parker.

The woman who kept looking at us? Yes.

The one without a date.

You must really love her to go through all of it. Well, I do. I just hope

work out because I really do miss her.

Well,

drive home safely.

Good night.

You know, I had a really great time.

But the evening doesn't have to end.

Wow, you've got really...

Whoa, what do you know?

Nine o 'clock.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

Yes.

Well, I can't leave before I get my little something something.

Oh. Oh, okay.

That was nice.

Thanks.

But it's going to cost you an extra 50.

Which brings you a total to $650.

Say what?

Look, you're a nice guy, but business is business.

And Happy Girls Escort Service is very touchy about outstanding bills. Wait,

Escort Service?

I don't pay for dates.

Well, maybe you'd like to discuss this with my accountant.

Oh, you watch.

I never leave home without her.

You take credit cards?

Are you going to eat all the

chunky chocolate?

Yep, every chocolate chunk.

Come on, Cher, you're not that depressed.

Quit begging, Endell.

This... Medication was prescribed by my grocer.

You need to hand over the ice cream, go over to Kim, and make up with her before

she leaves for Paris tonight.

Oh, it's you.

Nice to see you too, Cruella DeVille.

Can I come in? As long as you check your attitude.

Oh, that's the...

This is Clarice, Jarell's mother. Oh, hi, Clarice. I've heard a lot about you.

All bad, I'm sure.

Oh, no, girl.

Well, yeah.

Clarice, what do you want?

Well, first off, I want to apologize.

I know I got a little crazy when I thought you were Jarell's wife, but you

understand my shock, my pain, my disgust, my... Hey!

We're in this together.

Our kids love each other, and I guess there's nothing we can do about it.

Oh.

What a long face, ladies.

You got what you want, didn't you?

Both of your kids are out of your lives.

Gone forever.

Probably won't even get a postcard.

You can forget about seeing them grandchildren.

Come on, y 'all. Let's go.

Hey, what are you guys doing here? Where's Kim?

She's gone. She and Jarell left over an hour ago.

Oh, I never got to say I was sorry.

I never got to say goodbye.

I never got to eat that ice cream.

I miss Jarell. He was all I had.

Oh, that's so sad.

Wait a minute.

Kim was all I had.

Oh, that's really sad.

She brought so much joy to my life.

Well, that is until she started talking.

But I tell you, those first five years were amazing.

I know what you mean.

But now they're gone.

And it's all your fault.

Me? You're the one who stormed up in here acting crazy and starting mess.

I didn't start anything, but if it's mess you want, I'll give you some.

Oh, I got some, all right.

WF Smackdown in here.

Ann, where's the love?

Love don't live here anymore.

Kim! Hi, Mama.

Baby, I was so worried.

How dare you leave the country and not even say goodbye to me?

Well, I thought you didn't care about what I did. Don't backtalk me.

Hey, where's my Jarrell?

Somewhere in the friendly skies.

He went on to Paris.

But he told me to tell you that he loves you.

Oh. And he wanted you to have this.

What's this, a goodbye letter for my boo -boo?

Close the bill for his airline ticket.

He dumped you, huh?

Oh, Mama.

I thought about it, and I realized that I couldn't go through with it. I just

wasn't ready.

You did the right thing, baby.

Yeah, I did it.

Not for you, not for Jarrell, but for me.

Look, I just don't want you making the same mistakes I did and ending up like

or Clarice.

What? You don't know me.

You don't know nothing about me.

Look, Mama, these are my mistakes to make.

No matter how much you may want to, you can't stop me from making them.

My pudding's growing up.

Yeah.

And besides, I couldn't even go if I wanted to.

What you talking about?

Did you know you needed a passport just to go to Paris?

How'd it go?

Man, I had to pay that woman $650.

Dang, she told me her rate was $150.

Oh, you must have got the freaky dinky plan, boy!

Maybe I should tell Veronica how I feel, you know?

Oh, this feeling thing is a whole downfall. You gotta let it go.

Hello?

Veronica!

I mean, hello?

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So what's up?

She's coming over for dinner.

Husband.

Besides, we're going to go to Paris the next week to get you a gift.

Yeah.

Always want you more when they see you with someone.

Always want you more when they see you. What are you talking about?