Original subtitles

It's 4 o 'clock. I assume you're having your Alize and trumpets.

That's crumpets? Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's gone by now.

But forget that. Guess who broke up? Who?

Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez.

I knew that girl wasn't nothing but trouble.

No, not them.

The whole building is talking about it.

Professor Ogilvie and Veronica.

Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Probably depressed.

Oh, I got the cure for his depression. What's that?

A spoonful of nicotine followed by a bed full of nicotine.

of the two major events in my life, the professor's breakup with Veronica and

his elopement with me.

I bet there's not a whole lot of tang in her mimosa.

Mama, I can't believe how fast you put this party together.

I mean, the turkey, the cake, the ice sculpture.

It seems like it was only an hour ago I told you they broke up.

It was.

You know, Nikki, this is all really great, but shouldn't the professor be

Nah, that was for...

Oh, he'll be here.

Oh, how can you be so sure? Because I found his wallet.

And where'd you find that?

In his bedroom, in table third drawer from the bottom.

That's my sugar booger now.

Well, go on, Miss Lunette, tune in.

Oh,

I'm sorry, Miss Parker. I didn't mean to interrupt your party. Well, uh, don't

you want to know what it's for?

No.

I just want to get my wallet and get the hell out of here.

Where is it?

Hello? Stanley?

Honey? It's been three minutes. She said to come and get you.

Who is that?

Yeah, and why is she calling my honey, honey in my house?

Everyone, this is Dr. Angela Allen.

Doctor,

are you sick, baby?

Because if so, just point my lips to weird her and I'll make it all better.

Honey, I'm nauseous.

Well, let me make it better.

I know she just didn't put her lips on my man in my house.

Wait, wait, wait, Nikki, stop the roll.

Oh, Dr.

Allen.

What kind of doctor are you?

Oh, well, I'm an anesthesiologist.

Well, you sure knock me out.

Yep, I'm a kind of numb myself.

I can't believe how foolish Woody and T are behaving over Angela.

Yeah, my Jor -El is the only one acting like an adult because he's got me.

Right, Jor -El?

Jor -El?

Jor -El?

Jor -El?

Jor -El?

Honey?

Excuse me. I think we should go. I have a bad feeling.

But why, Stanley, honey? I mean, these people aren't happy. as bad as you said

they were.

me to take him back. It's that whipper pill.

Ah. Well, I guess he's over it because he done whipped up another woman.

We need to get rid of that quack.

We? I'll get rid of her just like I got rid of you. You didn't get rid of me.

Admit it. I was weighing you down.

Look, Nikki, this is serious. Now, he's about to move in with her.

Move in?

This is all your fault. Now, if you had been doing your job, the professor would

be here with both of us.

So, do you want to argue about it, or do you want to help me get rid of the

witch doctor?

the both of you. Do we have a deal?

Deal.

From here, we can see directly into the professor's apartment.

How did you find this place? This is my spot.

Your spot?

Girl, it's like my second home.

Let's sit.

A little music.

Change of clothes.

Want a shot?

Get a little nippy out here.

I used to have an Apache here, but it was raining a lot later.

You know, you need help.

Do you really think our plan is going to work?

Of course it will.

Now, once she finds that negligee we planted, she's going to think either the

professor's back with you or messing around with me.

Exactly what size negligee did you get?

Exactly what size ass -whipping do you want?

Now, we're supposed to be a damn team.

They said no more rain.

Oh, good looking out, baby. Yeah, and look at the stakes inside.

Well, Godspeed.

Good hunting.

I think they're home.

Yeah, that's them.

What are they doing?

It looks like they're starting to fool around.

the negligee?

The way they're going at it, I don't think she's gonna need one.

Come on. Come on.

Bingo, she's got it.

Ooh, it's about to be on now. Give me those.

I don't believe it. She's smiling.

She must think it's a gift from him. What?

Oh, great. She done ripped off his shirt and now they're going at it again.

He's mowing something. What's he saying?

Thank you, Miss Parker.

But we could.

Boy, get your ashy hands off of me.

What'd you find out about Dr.

Strangelove? Oh, I got the down and dirty on her. It's curtains for the

Look at this.

Here she is jaywalking in broad daylight.

And here she is with 12 items and the 10 items of less land in the supermarket.

Previous case.

I want my money back.

Oh, baby, I took that little money and bought me a Happy Meal.

Then get your happy behind out of my house.

Oh, okay. Okay,

so I guess you don't want to know the name of her ex -boyfriend and where he

works.

What's his name? Money Talks. He works at a

nightclub in Hollywood.

Popsed over to the other side. She says, what, some professor now?

That's why we're here.

Oh, did she take your man?

Yes.

Crystal, they need you in the back.

Excuse me for a minute.

Ladies, these are compliments from that table right over there.

think she's really happy with me.

Well, you know, that's really not my problem anymore.

You know, as far as I'm concerned, she got exactly what she deserved.

Who's that?

A man.

Look,

isn't there any chance of you two getting back together? I don't think so.

know, I'm tired of being the one who has to patch things up. If she wants to

talk, she's got to call me.

But on the other hand, if you want to talk, we can go over to the VIP lounge

now.

Sorry, I'm a screaming hetero.

Well, here's my number.

You call me if you really...

Me, of course. Why should you be the one to get to break his heart? I'm his

girlfriend. Yeah, but I love him.

Okay, kids, we need some privacy.

But this is our apartment.

Beat it.

All right, Ms. Parker, I'm on to you. Give me my stuff.

Veronica, what are you doing here?

Only my man has a right to ask me that.

I couldn't agree more.

Miss Parker, where's my checkbook?

And my passport.

Where's my stocking cap?

Where it always is. Close to my heart.

Never mind.

Stanley, wait.

We need to tell you something.

Now, there's no easy way to say this.

Angela's gay.

I thought we agreed that I was going to tell him. Maybe it took too long.

I can't believe you two.

Angela started dating you, she was in a long -term relationship with another

woman. Look, I will not listen to another one of your slanderous lies

Angela. Now, Mr. Parker, I can understand you pulling such shenanigans,

Veronica, I thought you had a little more class.

I guess it's really over.

Girl, you give up too easy.

Time for plan B.

What's plan B?

Sizzler.

We'll go there and take us home now. Come on.

Let's not go bust that little chick.

Would you stop holding my hand?

I just don't want any of these women pushing up on me.

Are you sure she's going to believe that notice from Chris?

Of course.

Kim copied Chris's handwriting perfectly.

She can forge anything.

How do you think she got a high school diploma?

You have to tell us and Dr. Angela now.

Looks like my plan is working.

According to my calculations, the professor should have received his forge

and arrived here in five, four, three... Looks like your plan is

falling apart.

What are you doing here?

You don't even think it.

Now, I'm responsible for that note that got you here.

You?

But why?

Because I know true love when I see it.

And you and Chris are truly in love. Am I right?

Well... Well, maybe.

Look, don't give up just because things get a little rocky.

I mean, you kids have a history.

Just like the professor and me.

was hooked up with Veronica.

Oh, please. He was just her cover.

Look at her.

You know, Nikki, maybe you're right about me and Chris.

Give her a chance.

Because at the end of the day, who would you rather cuddle with?

A big old stinky man or a soft, silky,

sensual woman?

You're right. I'm tripping.

parkers now will you please just leave me alone i'm meeting angela we know

we sent you the damn note we want to prove to you we're telling the truth

stop it i i've had enough of your lies now i just want to find my angela and

never see you two again well she's right over there by the bar with her lover

Yeah.

Thanks for making a fool of me.

I hope you're happy.

Professor!

Now what are we going to do?

Well, at least we got each other.

You should have seen the look on his face.

I've never seen the professor look so down.

What about the time he took you to your class reunion?

Or the time he was quarantined in our house?

Or after you knocked him out in that Tybo class?

Are we not right?

I've seen him look worse.

Maybe I owe him an apology.

Well, why don't you tell him? Because he doesn't want to talk to me. Mama, he

never wants to talk to you.

You're right.

It's not about him.

It's about me.

Baby. Baby.

Yeah, baby.

I'll see you a little later. Okay.

What do you want now?

I just want to give you this pie as a way of saying I'm sorry.

Stanley, who's... Hi, Nikki.

You!

negligee I bought.

Thank you. It fits perfectly.

I thought you said you didn't want anything to do with us.

No, that was just you.

Veronica explained the whole thing. How you sucked her into your web of

deception.

She what?

She was the one who came to me.

She said you would say that.

What's important now is that she and I are back together and in a way I kind of

have you to thank for that.

Now, if you and your pie don't mind leaving.

Oh, I'll go.

But the pie is staying.