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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,190 --> 00:00:11,590 Oh, they're expecting to my purse, baby. 2 00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:14,550 I already took some. 3 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:19,870 I've been thinking it's time that I pull my own weight. You know, be more 4 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:22,030 responsible. Cool. The rent's due on the 1st. 5 00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:25,250 According to my lease, it's on the 5th. 6 00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,570 What lease? 7 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,030 The one Stevie and I got for our apartment. 8 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,350 What apartment? 9 00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,210 The one we got yesterday. 10 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:33,790 Yesterday? 11 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:35,750 How can the two of you afford an apartment? 12 00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:38,970 It's only $450 a month. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,580 Mama, my bedroom is bigger than this whole house. 14 00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,400 Uh -huh. And I'm a size six. 15 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,320 No, seriously, Mama. 16 00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,060 It's called rent control. 17 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,200 Unless you have light control, gas control, and food control, you'll be out 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,020 control. So, uh, why don't you save yourself some embarrassment and move 19 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,380 in? Thank you. 20 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:06,240 Did I mention Professor Ogilvie lives in the same building? 21 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,080 What are you standing around for? We need to pack our stuff. 22 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,900 jail for breaking and entering. I just took care of that last warrant. 23 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:15,980 Ah, look at this. 24 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,420 It's worse than I thought. 25 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:19,840 Come on, let's put this stuff out of here before they get back. 26 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:21,940 Halt! 27 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,600 I'm warning you, I ain't no Taekwondo. 28 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Hell, I'm no Taibo. 29 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,180 Really? With Billy Blank? 30 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,240 Well, maybe you could help me out because I've been trying to get in that 31 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:37,540 forever. Well, if you go early on Tuesday, with short little legs. Shut 32 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:38,540 Del. 33 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,100 Who the hell are you? 34 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,320 Sophia Van Lowe. 35 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:42,920 You're Stevie's mother? 36 00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:44,460 But you're so tall. 37 00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:46,180 And you are? 38 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,600 Nikki Parker, Kim's mother. 39 00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:50,140 Oh. 40 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,040 Well, you're no leprechaun yourself, honey. 41 00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,060 I like you. 42 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,100 This is my friend Ann Del. Hi. 43 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:03,580 I apologize, ladies. When I heard your voices outside the door, I thought you 44 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,580 were intruders. 45 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,990 She is. You can't come into somebody's apartment without their permission. 46 00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,550 See? I bet that's the police. 47 00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:14,650 Hi. Hello. 48 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:18,330 Oh, hello, everyone. I'm Rachel, the apartment manager. Just came by to fix 49 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:21,250 sink. Oh, you must be Kim's mother. 50 00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:22,570 Hell no. 51 00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:26,810 Okay, then it must be you. 52 00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,030 That's right. 53 00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:31,910 And we'll be seeing a lot of each other. My boyfriend, Stanley Ogilvie, lives 54 00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:32,910 downstairs. 55 00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:34,490 You're Veronica? 56 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,460 That Veronica thing was just a phase. 57 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:50,120 Hi, I'm... Oh, I know who you are. The legendary, fabulous, incomparable Sophia 58 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,120 Van Lowe. 59 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,360 Oh, look at me. I'm embarrassing you. 60 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:54,760 No, you're not. 61 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:59,320 So, since you're in the biz, I was wondering if you'd take a peek at my 62 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,520 portfolio, maybe recommend an agent. Oh, sure. I'm also a singer, lash model. 63 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,320 Ooh! 64 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,340 Yeah, that was taken just outside Paris in Versailles. 65 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,620 Oh! 66 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,640 Wasn't I precious? 67 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,919 That's you? 68 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920 Uh -huh. 69 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:29,020 But he has a... Well, then that means you have a... Ooh, not anymore. 70 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:34,940 I don't want to seem nosy, but what do they do with it? 71 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,440 Oh, I'm also an organ donor. 72 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,520 The decorating police are about to condemn it. 73 00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:21,740 Hey! 74 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:24,700 Mama? 75 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,180 I told them, Leah, stop alone. 76 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,460 Just hard -hitting. 77 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,380 Well, pipes are all clear. Hey, girl. 78 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640 Hey, Rachel. 79 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:37,000 Sophie, if you don't mind, I have a few more questions about the biz. 80 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,600 Who's the old girl over there? 81 00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:40,020 She's sexy. 82 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,120 You don't even want to know. 83 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,700 So you ain't going to hook my boy up, baby? 84 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,620 No. She used to be... It's messed up, Kim. 85 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,080 I introduced myself. 86 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,140 I don't know why you hate him. You've got a man. 87 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,680 And so we'll see if he hooks up with her. 88 00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:01,440 Oh, will you look at the time? It sure is getting late, Mama. 89 00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:03,460 Guess you better send the boys home. 90 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,420 No, Mama, it's time for y 'all to go. 91 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,900 Um, Rachel, could you show my mama out? Yeah, and mine, too. 92 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,280 Certainly. Anything for Miss Van Lowe. 93 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,120 And you, call me. 94 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840 Come on, ladies. 95 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:17,340 Well, let's... 96 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,180 We don't want to overstay our welcome. 97 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,220 Girl, when did that ever bother you? 98 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,800 Bye, Mama. I'll call you. 99 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,380 You'll call me too, Stevie? 100 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,620 I don't think so. 101 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,539 Look, y 'all. 102 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,540 Got those digits. 103 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,930 Ms. Parker, what are you doing here? 104 00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,510 Well, my baby just moved in the building. 105 00:06:58,270 --> 00:06:59,270 Say what? 106 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:06,330 Kim, she just moved in. And she's being so... Aren't you going to invite me in? 107 00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:08,550 No. Thanks. 108 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,750 It's like she's a different person. 109 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:14,370 Distant. She acts as if she doesn't want me around. 110 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:15,930 I know the feeling. 111 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:20,010 Ms. Parker, what can I do for you? 112 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,290 Hold me. 113 00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,180 No, seriously. 114 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,780 I could really use a hug. Strictly platonic. 115 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,320 Tighter. 116 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,040 Hey, baby. Hey, Stevie. Is everything okay? 117 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,370 Yeah, we just wanted to talk to you two. I knew it. You couldn't have... Back it 118 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:54,950 out there on your own. It's not easy for a single girl. 119 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,150 Now, do you see why Mommy married Daddy? 120 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:00,910 It's not that, Mother. We're doing fine. 121 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,850 Please don't tell me you're flunking out of school. 122 00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:04,870 No, the complete opposite. 123 00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:09,390 Ever since Stevie gave me the tip to read the chapters before class, I'm not 124 00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,390 confused anymore. 125 00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:12,890 So you two are not getting along. 126 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:16,330 I knew it. You know, at home, you were always such a loner. 127 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,670 But when you're always left alone, what else can you be? 128 00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:24,930 you to know that we're having a housewarming. Nothing big, just a few 129 00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,550 and... Of course we'll be there, sweetie. 130 00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:30,210 Oh, I know. I haven't always been there for you in the past. And you're not 131 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,570 going to be there in the future either. 132 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,970 Um, Mom, you're not invited. 133 00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:35,309 Excuse me? 134 00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:38,750 Stevie, that's not a very nice thing to say to your mother. 135 00:08:39,049 --> 00:08:40,549 Mama, you're not invited either. 136 00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:45,690 Kim, go get me a switch. 137 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:50,170 No, Mama, I love you and I'm thankful... 138 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,960 everything you've done, but... But we would just feel better if you two sat 139 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,939 house warming out. 140 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:58,320 Yeah. It's really important we do this on our own. You understand, don't you? 141 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,580 Mm -hmm. 142 00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,340 You warm your damn house. 143 00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:04,300 Warm it until it burns. 144 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,420 I don't need to be there. 145 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,640 Well, she took that better than I thought. 146 00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:14,460 All right. 147 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,480 I'm not happy about it, but I guess I really don't have a choice. 148 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,520 Thank you for understanding. 149 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:25,700 I mean, it's just going to be a few people, dear. Yeah, just a couple of 150 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:26,700 coming over. Nothing big. 151 00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:27,860 Right, right. 152 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,360 Can you believe it? Our first housewarming. Ooh, in our own house. 153 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,259 own mothers. 154 00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,260 Hey! 155 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,299 Hey, Nick. 156 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,199 Hey, Woody. 157 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,860 See you at the housewarming party. 158 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,020 You're invited. 159 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,960 Professor Ogilvy? Listen, could you tell Kim thanks, but I won't be able to make 160 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,960 it to the housewarming party. 161 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,140 I can't believe you're invited and I'm not. 162 00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:02,940 You're not? 163 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,140 In that case, tell her I'll be there early and I'm leaving late. 164 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,640 Hey, Nikki. 165 00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:12,380 Glad I ran into you. 166 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,420 What are you doing here, Mal? 167 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:19,400 Oh, I'm looking for Kim. I need her house key. I'm the official bartender at 168 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,520 little shindig tonight. 169 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,379 You know what she is? 170 00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,380 Hell no. 171 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,560 Oh, I forgot. You wasn't invited. 172 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,330 Corkscrew. Corkscrew? Girl, stop tripping. 173 00:10:57,350 --> 00:11:03,410 I'd like to propose a toast to motherhood, the most underappreciated, 174 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:07,250 misunderstood profession on God's lousy green earth. That's right, Nikki. 175 00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:10,150 You give them life, they give you stretch marks. 176 00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:11,810 Oh, not that I'd know. 177 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,810 Oh, listen to you two. 178 00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:17,210 You should be glad they're growing up. Let it go. 179 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,210 You wouldn't understand, Andell. 180 00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:24,530 Tell us, Ophry. Unless you've carried a baby for 39 months, seven days... 39 181 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,530 months? 182 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:31,810 I had the doctor induce my labor after six months, honey. No child is worth 183 00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:32,810 losing your figure for. 184 00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:39,210 The point is, unless you went through labor for 75 hours, you couldn't know 185 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:40,009 we feel. 186 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:41,010 Tell us, Ophry. 187 00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:44,030 Well, actually, my labor lasted 15 minutes. 188 00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:45,890 15 minutes? 189 00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:48,610 Well, she popped right out. It was like my body rejected her. 190 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,680 unless you've wiped their noses, their tears, and their stinky little asses for 191 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:00,680 19 years. 192 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,540 You wouldn't know how it is to be a mother. 193 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:05,580 Right, Sophie? 194 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,560 Well, I don't know. You'll have to ask the nanny. 195 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,920 Well, I'm gonna leave you two here to discuss the pains of motherhood. 196 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:14,999 Where you going? 197 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,060 Out. Where? 198 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,500 Why? 199 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,720 All right, all right. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I was invited to 200 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,000 the party. Gotta go. See ya. 201 00:12:39,569 --> 00:12:43,490 Daddy, this is my lady, Dorit. Nice to meet you, son. I heard a lot about you. 202 00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:47,010 Hey, those charges never stuck. What charges? Got you, Mr. Parker. 203 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:34,800 Excuse me, sir. 204 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,170 housewarming party. 205 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,930 I can believe that. 206 00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:25,470 What I can't believe is they have an ocean view, hardwood floors, all this 207 00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:29,450 for only $450 a month. I pay three times that much. 208 00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,650 If you let me move in with you, we can cut down in half. 209 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,680 It's like we think just alike. 210 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,980 She's not like any other woman I know. 211 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,420 Yeah, man, she fine and all, but I don't know, man, she kind of weird. 212 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,240 I mean, she's too in tune with us. 213 00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,380 It's like she's one of the guys or something. 214 00:14:58,840 --> 00:14:59,840 One of the guys? 215 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,280 Man, you don't do it one of the guys that we did together last night. 216 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,720 Y 'all went all the way? 217 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,280 Ah, not yet. 218 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,720 Last night I just explored the northern hemisphere. 219 00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,160 Tonight, she gonna give me a grand tour of the dirty south. 220 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,080 So, uh, you're not gonna give me your number? 221 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,700 I didn't say that. Give me a pin. 222 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,320 Get your feet off the table, young man. 223 00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,700 Did your nanny teach you anything? 224 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,160 Mother, will you stop it? 225 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,080 I'm just trying to be a good mother. 226 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,400 Yeah, well, you're about 18 years too late. 227 00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,280 was paying attention to you. Really? 228 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,060 I still got it done, don't I? 229 00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:06,240 I can cry on cue. Look at that. 230 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,320 That is totally inappropriate behavior. 231 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:10,780 Yeah. 232 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,220 Rupert, what are you doing here? 233 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,240 The question, my dear Sophie, is what are you doing here? I believe you 234 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,240 invited. 235 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,740 I thought you were in Turkey. 236 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:25,240 I was, but I got in and I came straight here. After all, it isn't every day. 237 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,680 that your little girl gives her first housewarming party. 238 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,340 You invited your father? 239 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,520 Well, I am paying for the apartment. 240 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:39,080 Oh, just like you to rub my face in it. I'd never rub your face in it, Sophia. 241 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,960 It cost me too much. 242 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,900 Woody, where the cops? I'm thirsty. 243 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,960 Okay, I'll go clean some more. No need. I got a straw. 244 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,060 Must be 10, 15. 245 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,760 When were you born again? 246 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:43,720 Father. 247 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,340 All right, all right. 248 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:52,740 Sophia, how would you like to go shopping in Milan with a pool boy? 249 00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:58,480 Ruben, darling, the only way you're going to get me to leave this party is 250 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,760 you write a check for half of your worth. 251 00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:08,530 He's young and tired of part. 252 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,980 to ask you and your friend to leave. 253 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,420 Daddy, can you take Mama home? 254 00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:50,820 Absolutely not. 255 00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:56,340 Father? No way. I want her passed out when I get home. 256 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,500 Just give me one more chance, Pumpkin. I'll straighten out. 257 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,100 All right. 258 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,020 We're having a party next Saturday. 259 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,360 What should I wear? 260 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,119 Hey, Gus. 261 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,400 Hey. Hey, Stevie. 262 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240 How's your mom feeling? 263 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,340 Oh, she's sleeping it off like she always does. 264 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:14,980 In Hawaii. 265 00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:17,959 Hey, ladies. 266 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:18,960 Hey. Oh, Tati. 267 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,200 You look kind of down. 268 00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:22,160 Found out something about Rachel. 269 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,740 Well, Bull, we tried to tell you. 270 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,320 It's no big deal. 271 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:28,730 It's not like it hasn't happened. to me before, you know? 272 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:31,570 Really? 273 00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:35,870 Yeah. Rachel's fine enough to make her brother break some rules, but I ain't 274 00:20:35,870 --> 00:20:36,689 that kind of guy. 275 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,050 Oh, well, glad to hear it. 276 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,250 What are y 'all talking about? 277 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,750 Oh, T found out that Rachel used to be a man. 278 00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:45,590 What? Uh -uh. T didn't find out nothing like that. 279 00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:48,930 Isn't that what you were talking about? 280 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,370 No, I just found out she already has a boyfriend. 281 00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:52,890 Well, guess what? 282 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,800 Sorry, T, but your chick used to have a... Bye! 20042