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All language subtitles for The Parkers s01e15 Funny, Funny Valentine

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,299 --> 00:00:06,260 Let me see what heart I like today. 2 00:00:07,820 --> 00:00:09,700 I like no chance in the fourth. 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,540 Hey, what's happening, Woody? Hey, Professor. 4 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,380 Is that an engagement ring? Yeah, what do you think? 5 00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:18,660 Well, I'm flattered. 6 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,620 But the answer's hell no. 7 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,200 Not you, Mr. Ripley. 8 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,760 I'm planning to pop the big question to Veronica. 9 00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,780 Well, by the size of that stone, I wouldn't call it a big question. 10 00:00:34,029 --> 00:00:35,029 Question. 11 00:00:37,550 --> 00:00:40,090 Professor, this is so sudden. 12 00:00:40,610 --> 00:00:41,610 I accept. 13 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:44,790 Not you, Miss Barker. 14 00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:48,270 It's for Veronica. 15 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:50,030 Oh, so it's a friendship ring. 16 00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:54,150 No, uh -uh. The professor's going to ask Veronica to marry. 17 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,850 Marry? Don't you think that'll put a damper on our relationship? 18 00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,390 I certainly hope so. 19 00:02:20,089 --> 00:02:23,990 Yeah. Well, I gave the professor my heart, and all he did was tear it up and 20 00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:25,170 line his litter box with it. 21 00:02:26,270 --> 00:02:27,590 Valentine's Day is for suckers. 22 00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:31,030 My mama's trying to work through something. 23 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,610 Hey, ladies. 24 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:55,930 by pretending some fat -winged little diaper boy supposedly goes around 25 00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:58,110 arrows to and fro, causing people to fall in love. 26 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,030 Men, who needs them? 27 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:01,930 Preach on, sister. 28 00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:07,930 You two are one step away from marching in the gay pride parade. 29 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,490 May I have your attention, please? 30 00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:17,090 May I present the brothers of the Kai Kai Kai fraternity, Incorporated! 31 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,980 Are you going to be my Valentine? 32 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,480 Yeah. 33 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:56,600 I'll pick you up for the party around 7. How about some flowers and some candy? 34 00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:59,980 Skip the flowers, but I would love a few Tootsie Pops. 35 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,740 I have a date for Valentine's. 36 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:08,100 I thought you weren't into Valentine's Day. 37 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,200 Well, that was the bitter date with Stevie. 38 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:11,460 I got a man now. 39 00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:16,240 I wish I had gotten a Valentine. 40 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:24,620 and shot it up his ass. 41 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:43,100 Mama, I know you feel bad, but you can't keep eating Chunky Monkey ice cream. 42 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,160 You're right, baby. 43 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:48,820 You want some pizza? 44 00:04:57,780 --> 00:04:58,780 Hi, Kim. 45 00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:02,020 Kim, are you sure your mother's interested in me? Or is this another one 46 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,020 rebound situations? 47 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,400 Woody, do you care? 48 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:05,660 No. 49 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,480 Come on in. 50 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:13,460 Woody! What a pleasant surprise! 51 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,420 Woody? 52 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,320 Where you on your way off to? A funeral? 53 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,060 No. I came by to see you, Nikki. 54 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,720 Mama, doesn't Woody look nice? 55 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,300 Right here. 56 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,320 You know what? These lights are killing my eye. 57 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,880 That's better. 58 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Come here, baby. 59 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,280 Woody, get your mix off of me. 60 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:48,840 What'd you hit me for? 61 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,840 Kim said you wanted me. I don't want anything from you unless you come with 62 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,420 pepperoni and extra cheese topping. 63 00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:57,140 I could. 64 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,020 to get you to snap out of it, but you've been obsessing over a non -existing 65 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:21,020 entity. 66 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:26,180 My, what thick words you're using. I know that was good, huh? 67 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:33,000 Look, baby, I know you're just trying to be helpful, but Mom will be okay. 68 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,420 I'll be just fine. 69 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,600 That's the spirit. In about 20 or 30 years. 70 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,600 crushed today. 71 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:56,780 What do you mean, Daddy? 72 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,960 Kelly and I broke up. We moved out this morning. 73 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,320 Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry. 74 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,540 Hey, things happen, but Daddy's okay. 75 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,020 I'll be all right. 76 00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,179 Just the spirit. 77 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,540 About 20 or 30 years. 78 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,560 don't live here anymore. 79 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:32,940 Yeah, love is a four -letter word. Hey. In the butt. 80 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,640 See, you two are made for each other. Black and bitter. 81 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,700 I guess it wouldn't hurt. I mean, I don't love you. 82 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:45,580 I definitely don't love you. 83 00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:46,570 because I didn't want you to feel bad about this section 8 spot we live in 84 00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:52,730 Baby, baby, come on. Let's not rush things, okay? Nobody's rushing. 85 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:56,550 Hey, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. 86 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,390 Why don't you two make a date? 87 00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:01,590 Kim, I don't know if that's such a good idea. 88 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:05,410 Why? It's not like offers are pouring in for either one of y 'all. 89 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,510 All right, great. Well, I guess I'll go change into something a little less 90 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:21,510 frilly. 91 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:34,070 Kim, now don't go blowing this thing between your daddy and I out of 92 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,330 Oh, it was just a booty call. 93 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,840 to be the special guest of Ideal at their four lovers only concert. 94 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,480 How did you pull that off? 95 00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:31,400 Well, Keebler, it just so happens that my cousin PZ is a member of Ideal and he 96 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,620 and the guys wanted to hang out with me and my friends after the show. 97 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,300 So what are we going to tell our kai kai kai dates? 98 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:40,460 Stevie, are you coming down with something? You don't look so good. 99 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,720 Girl, what are you talking about? I look great. 100 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:48,020 You know, you're right, Regina, and I don't feel so well either. 101 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:02,020 And we'll be right back to continue our night of romance for lovers only. 102 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000 Okay, 103 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:08,920 girls, we got a problem. Guys who look that good and sing that good are going 104 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,040 want something just as good. 105 00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:11,960 Yeah, but we're all they got right now. 106 00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:13,260 Hey! 107 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:23,860 Stanley, this place is wonderful. 108 00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:30,380 I just wanted to show you that I'm not so stuffy. You know, I can be hip. 109 00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:32,060 I'm down. 110 00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:33,260 I know what's up. 111 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,760 So cute. 112 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,940 Veronica, I had something I wanted to tell you. Hold that thought, sweetie. I 113 00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:40,940 have to go powder my nose. 114 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,360 Mickey Parker. 115 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:48,640 Let me guess. 116 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,000 You knew Stanley and I had dinner plans here, so you decided to come and disrupt 117 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,480 our romantic evening. 118 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,720 No. I came to have dinner with an old friend. 119 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,880 Ah, a meal. 120 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,820 And our table is ready. 121 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:04,020 Oops, you dropped something. 122 00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:05,620 You fade. 123 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,840 Swab with a B. Oh, Swabble, I don't care if it's with a B, C, or a D, as long as 124 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:33,840 it's with me. 125 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:35,520 You must be Kim. 126 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:36,940 Yeah. 127 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,700 Well, enjoy yourselves, ladies. We'll hook up after the show. 128 00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,060 Okay. 129 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,300 still eats like an animal. 130 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,540 Mel, could you pass the bread? 131 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,480 Look at her. Who did her makeup? 132 00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:11,860 Ronald McDonald? 133 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,620 Mel, use your napkin and sit up. We're in a restaurant. 134 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,780 No, I made the damn reservation. 135 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,880 Once an egg, always an egg. 136 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,360 I wouldn't nag you if you just did what I told you. 137 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,900 Look at this place. 138 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,100 I'll tell you. 139 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,800 Ladies are in the house tonight. 140 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,880 Wait a minute. 141 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,220 Is that Kim? 142 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,580 The funny thing about a sweetheart dance is you need a sweetheart to get in. 143 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,460 T, this was a last -minute thing. Regina's cousin is in the group. Yeah. 144 00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:06,960 Oh, so y 'all ready to kick with some R &B pretty boys and us? 145 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:08,380 Yeah, pretty much. 146 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,440 Get y 'all in. 147 00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:12,660 How did you get in here? 148 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,520 I know you can't afford it. Okay. 149 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,920 Regina's not the only one with a cousin, baby. 150 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,419 There's mine. 151 00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:20,420 Hey, B! 152 00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:21,540 What up, dog? 153 00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:29,650 These gentlemen are annoying us. Could you please escort them to their seat in 154 00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:30,650 the back? 155 00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:33,390 Cool. You hear better from back there anyway. 156 00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:34,770 Come on, y 'all. 157 00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:37,190 Way back there, man? 158 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:51,110 Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. 159 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,110 It doesn't hurt to look. 160 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,370 It can. 161 00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,030 Our seats? 162 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:14,370 No. You must be mistaken with a guest of ideal. 163 00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,250 Well, we are dates of ideal. 164 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,990 I hate Valentine's Day. 165 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:21,650 Good groupies. 166 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:25,270 You're going to need to find somewhere else to sit because we're not getting 167 00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:26,510 Fine. 168 00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:27,990 We'll join you. 169 00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,220 It's an engagement ring. 170 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,420 Veronica, I love you. 171 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:55,220 And I want you to be my wife. 172 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,900 I don't know what to say. 173 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,980 Well, there's only one answer I need to hear. 174 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,620 Stanley, I'm not ready to get married. 175 00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,140 Okay. 176 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,700 That's not the answer I'm looking for. 177 00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,460 Sweetie, I love my life. 178 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:13,760 My career. 179 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,460 And I love what we have. What we have? 180 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:21,339 Honey, I'm lucky if I get to see you twice a month. And even then, you're 181 00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:23,220 on the phone. Stanley, you're exaggerating. 182 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,640 I had answered. 183 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,440 Hello? 184 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,720 Mel, I'm not in the habit of sleeping with my friends. 185 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,520 wasn't such a good idea. 186 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:47,980 Yeah, I think you're right. 187 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:55,340 I mean, I was a little tipsy and missing Kelly, and you... Well, I don't know 188 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,340 what your deal was. 189 00:17:58,540 --> 00:17:59,560 I don't either. 190 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,840 It wasn't like I enjoyed it. 191 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,700 All right. 192 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:06,340 I deserve that one. 193 00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,140 No, you didn't. 194 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,700 I guess we should have left the past alone. 195 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,020 Maybe I should go. Maybe you should. 196 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,040 How could you ride home with Kim? 197 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,280 All right. 198 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,260 Now, wait. Nikki, come on, sweetheart. 199 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:24,940 It's not going to work. 200 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,020 Especially if you don't pay the check. 201 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:31,900 Tonight? 202 00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:44,060 But can't I... All right, all right, I'll be there. 203 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:52,050 Look, baby, I know this is bad timing, but I have to catch a plane to New York 204 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,950 tonight. I promise we'll talk about this when I get back. 205 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,090 Just go on. 206 00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:02,950 Get it! 207 00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:10,830 Let's give it up again for Virgin Records recording artist, Ideal. 208 00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:14,190 Thank you. 209 00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:15,510 Thank you. 210 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,540 We'd like to dedicate this next number to a newly engaged couple in the house. 211 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:25,940 She's gone. 212 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,760 And get that damn light off me. 213 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,400 So much for the happy couple. 214 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,720 Well, I understand we have another couple that's getting back together on 215 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,340 Valentine's Day after many years. 216 00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:41,840 Valentine's Day is for suckers. 217 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,280 Tell you what. Why don't we just sing? 218 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:56,620 My funny valentine. 219 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,240 Sweet comic valentine. 220 00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:03,440 Would you ladies like to dance? 221 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:04,740 Oh, sure. 222 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,160 Nacho. 223 00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:53,770 I guess so, we're both pretty pitiful That's the nicest thing you've ever said 224 00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:54,770 to me 15579