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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,100 Thank you, Gorlin. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,720 Helping the grocery shop, carrying in the groceries, holding the door. I like 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:11,720 that in a young man. 4 00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:12,740 Oh, thank you, Nikki. 5 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:13,900 Or an old man. 6 00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:15,020 Or an any man. 7 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,900 You know I can hook you up with my Uncle Otis. 8 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,840 He'll be out in about two years. 9 00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:25,880 Ah, you so crazy. I know you're going to win that college laugh off. 10 00:00:26,220 --> 00:00:27,220 I'm working on it. 11 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:29,420 Give me that. 12 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,140 Can't be carrying heavy stuff. 13 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,820 Still got to have my baby one day. 14 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:38,160 Uh, you better have a wedding ring in one of those bags. 15 00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:39,740 I got an onion ring. 16 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,580 Come on, baby, we got a movie to catch. 17 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,180 Hold up my little Pikachu. 18 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,020 Vicky, why don't you come to the movie with me? 19 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,300 Me with y 'all? 20 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:51,980 Sweetie, it's our date. 21 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,720 I know, it ain't like we going to fool around. 22 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,039 We not? 23 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,820 Ah, I got us a hotel room for that. 24 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,700 You're joking, right? 25 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,580 possible that every time I enter the student union, I run into you. 26 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,100 Well, maybe God is trying to tell you something. 27 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:07,640 Yeah, stay out of the student union. 28 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:12,160 Professor, this is Garland. Garland Rockin', comedian extraordinaire. 29 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,320 www .comedy. Check the website, yo. 30 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,040 Oh, my boyfriend is so interactive. 31 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,280 And so am I. 32 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,360 Kim, can I holler at you for a second? Excuse us. 33 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,520 Since when did we become a couple? 34 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,820 About 2 o 'clock this morning. 35 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,240 What you talking about? We was at Fatburger. 36 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,920 I know. We shared the same straw. 37 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,560 Because it was the last one. 38 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:45,000 Are you trying to get out of this? 39 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:50,900 Nah, it's just all happening so fast. I mean, a Fatburger, a milkshake. Next 40 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:51,900 thing you know, I'm engaged. 41 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:53,420 I accept. 42 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:55,700 You know what? 43 00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:56,780 Girlfriend is fine. 44 00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:03,510 Okay, baby, we'll talk about the wedding plans later. 45 00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:12,130 So, Professor, you ever been blindsided by a woman? 46 00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:13,390 Phew. 47 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:19,030 Blindsided, run down, deceive, trick, slick, trip, trap, stalk, bamboozle, 48 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:23,330 hoodwink, browbeaten, felt up, set up, let down, squeeze, pinch, goose. 49 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:25,830 Don't get me started. I could tell you... 50 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,480 President Fred Rubble. All right. 51 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,860 All right, time to bring my next contestant, Stevie Van Lowe. 52 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,660 Hey, how's everyone doing tonight? 53 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,020 Good. 54 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:52,800 Anyone out there have a mother? 55 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:58,260 Got any pictures? I'd like to see what one looks like. 56 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,740 I mean, not that my mother and I work close, but I had to make an appointment 57 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:02,740 get breastfed. 58 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,250 Her idea of a mother -daughter vacation was to go to Europe and leave me at 59 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,070 home. And my father? How can I respect him? 60 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,750 He married her. And don't let me get started on my grandparency because 61 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,750 We won't. 62 00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:17,470 I'm not finished. 63 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:18,750 You are here. 64 00:04:19,269 --> 00:04:21,329 Give it up for Stevie, the crazy white girl. 65 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,750 How was I? 66 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:28,990 I think chicken said it all. 67 00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:32,070 I got three words for you. 68 00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:36,030 that. We're moving right along. 69 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:40,130 Let's give it up for the comedic stylings of my man, Garland Rockin. 70 00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,330 How's everybody doing out there? 71 00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:53,150 Alright, first of all, I just want to thank Nubian Entertainment Television 72 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,150 giving us this opportunity. 73 00:04:56,550 --> 00:05:00,050 But you know, personally, I've really been getting paid in real dollars. These 74 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,770 black dollars are only good at KFC. 75 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,600 What's Marlon Wayans doing up there? 76 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,380 But I ain't one of the Wayans. I'm funny. 77 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,860 Yup. Well, me and my girl made it official. We a couple now. 78 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,960 She went and told all her girlfriends, so now I'm stuck. 79 00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:25,960 But hey, I ain't complaining. 80 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,300 Shoot, I like my girl. My last girlfriend was a big bone woman. 81 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:31,960 A portly person. 82 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:42,690 what it is she was fat okay i once took it to a favorite french restaurant lay 83 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:49,450 grocery store and see see my only problem with fat people is they always 84 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,850 like i asked my girl how you get so damn big she had the nerve to say 85 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:45,010 The contest is between you and I. 86 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,730 Okay, the judges have selected a winner. 87 00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,170 And, uh, it's not Stevie. 88 00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:56,270 Although, personally, I like that bitter thing. 89 00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:03,170 Representing Santa Monica Junior College at the world -famous Laughin' Port, 90 00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:06,250 where the winner will get their own special on newbie entertainment 91 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,330 is my man and your man, Garland Rockett. Come on, Garland. 92 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,320 to talk to you about Garland and his act. 93 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,860 Ooh, it wasn't off the hook? 94 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,420 No, it wasn't. It was offensive to people. What people? 95 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,180 I didn't have a problem with it. 96 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,160 OK. It was offensive to a certain type of person. 97 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,680 Oh, you mean fat people, Mama? 98 00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:47,120 I prefer the term large and lovely. 99 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,640 I always thought you were cool with your size. 100 00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:54,960 Well, just because I'm cool with it doesn't mean I like to be made fun of. 101 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:57,880 They're just jokes. 102 00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:05,160 Good morning, Kim. 103 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,260 Hey, Nikki. 104 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,940 You ready to go get something to eat? Yeah, I'm starving. 105 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,440 And I cannot wait until we get to the restaurant. I might be able to find some 106 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,560 new material for my act. 107 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,420 I can observe the buffalo grazing at the all -you -can -eat buffet. 108 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,200 to ease up off those fat jokes. 109 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,280 Oh, come on, Nikki. That's my routine. 110 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,760 And you heard the laughs. The audience loved it. 111 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,840 And besides, you know me. I ain't mean nothing by it. They're just harmless 112 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,200 jokes. Well, maybe they're harmless to skinny folks like you. 113 00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,400 Oh, come on, Nikki. Won't you lighten up? 114 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,820 Nothing good with lighting up. 115 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,000 I ain't even mean it like that. 116 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,580 Garland, you need to change your act. 117 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,710 Wait, hold up. We're talking about my career, Nikki. 118 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:58,330 This could be my big break. 119 00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:02,290 No disrespect, but if you can't take the heat, then you need to get out the... 120 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:04,030 You know what I mean. 121 00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,230 Oh, I'm afraid I do. 122 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:08,770 So you need to get the... Oh, you know what I mean. Out in my house. 123 00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:11,070 Nah, nah. 124 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,350 Nah, Kim. 125 00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,450 It's cool. 126 00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:14,870 See y 'all around. 127 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,260 and change those jokes. 128 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,820 No, Mama. You need to deal with it. 129 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,660 Oh, and I am going to deal with it. 130 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,200 Mm -hmm. 131 00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:51,620 Now, 132 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:58,380 we're here 133 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,620 today because we're sick and tired of being the butt of jokes. Yeah. 134 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,620 And we can't let it continue. 135 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,840 No. 136 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,400 Oh. Uh, is Miss Parker here? 137 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,100 Come on in. 138 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:16,920 Oh, Professor Ogilvie, what are you doing here? Well, I saw your flyer about 139 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,020 large and in charge. 140 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:19,800 You mean down at the Student Union? 141 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,080 Well, actually, it was at the Krispy Kreme Donuts. 142 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,520 Did you bring any with you? 143 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,720 No, I came to offer my support. 144 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:30,460 So you do have some donuts. 145 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:33,480 Okay, maybe this was a mistake. 146 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:36,020 No, no, please come in. 147 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:37,670 Thank you for coming. 148 00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:41,570 Look, I just wanted to let you all know that you're not alone. 149 00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:45,130 That not everyone thinks that making fun of large people is funny. 150 00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:50,410 Although I have to admit, that 7 -Eleven joke, that was pretty funny. 151 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,550 Out by 12 .15. 152 00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:57,270 I mean, I feel your pain. 153 00:10:57,570 --> 00:11:00,630 Oh, sure you do, skinny boy. 154 00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:05,830 No, no, no, no. Now, I was not always the man you see before you. 155 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:11,760 I mean, as a child, I remember many trips to the Sears Husky Boy Department. 156 00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:18,440 Husky? You mean you were? Yes, I was fat. 157 00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,760 I was ridiculed, teased. 158 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,400 Fat boy, what you got there? 159 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,540 Nothing, man. Just a little something to hold me over till lunch. Give me that 160 00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,540 fat Stanley. 161 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,260 You know a good one. You're supposed to be on a diet. 162 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,020 I am on a diet. I'm down to a gallon a day. Now give me fat Stanley. 163 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,380 Fat Stanley. 164 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:48,720 Fat Stanley. 165 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,820 Fat Stanley. 166 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:56,960 Fat Stanley. Fat Stanley. 167 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,360 You okay, man? 168 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,760 It's my fault. 169 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,660 Always got to spend. 170 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,380 I was teased unmercifully all through my younger years. 171 00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,740 Group hug. 172 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,800 No, no, no. 173 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:34,360 I'm fine. 174 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,480 I'm fine. 175 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:44,620 No, I decided to take control of my life. Yeah. You know, and change things. 176 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,820 The professor is right. 177 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,640 making fun of fat people in my act. 178 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,040 And you know, I thought long and hard about this situation, and I come to the 179 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,940 agonizing conclusion that 180 00:15:00,170 --> 00:15:01,170 midterm. 181 00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:55,689 They're just jokes. 182 00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:57,310 Well, then find some other jokes. 183 00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:58,949 Just like that. 184 00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,290 You think it's that easy? Why don't you get up here and do it? 185 00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:30,070 I wanted to come by and apologize. 186 00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,310 Oh, and I get so flushed with so not into you. 187 00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,410 You're so right. 188 00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:36,890 Can I come in? 189 00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:38,790 Yeah. 190 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:43,450 Kim, I just really want to apologize about the other night. 191 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,210 I just got caught up in everything. 192 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:46,530 Kind of lost my head. 193 00:18:46,970 --> 00:18:47,970 That's cool. 194 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,990 I guess I got a little pushy about the girlfriend thing. 195 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,050 Just a tad. 196 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:54,870 Friends. 197 00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:07,820 televisions, laugh off. Give it up for Miss Nikki Parker. 198 00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:18,760 You know what, ladies? 199 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,420 This is for all my big girls. One of the reasons why it's so important that we 200 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,200 hang together, because skinny women can't understand directions. 201 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,920 They don't follow them. They don't read very well. When we go to the all -you 202 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,360 -can -eat buffet, what does it say? 14653