Original subtitles

Oh, don't you look cute.

No, I look like a centerpiece.

Oh, you just reminded me.

Put that on the table. My sister loves flowers.

Why don't I just sit on the table?

the Chanel.

Oh, as long as you don't crush the Tajay.

Look at you, Tiffany. Aren't you the cutie?

I can't believe it's been two years.

Where does the time go, sis?

Apparently not into shopping. Kim, where on earth did you get that outfit?

It's from you, Aunt Connie. You sent it to me. But that was four years ago.

I'm surprised and a little concerned it still fits.

Oh, didn't I tell you? He's president of the division now. He's down in

Venezuela, even as we speak.

Well, go ahead, Richard.

Selling dog food all over the world.

It's not dog food. It's canine cuisine.

Oh, Nikki, you can be so common sometimes.

Now, come on. We've got to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner.

It's under control. I've already got the ham hocks boiling.

I'm sure you have. That's why I planned an artery -friendly menu.

Oh, God, what is this?

To the trash we must go.

Come on, little sis.

Mama, I thought those were your favorite flowers.

Nikki, I need you.

Okay, whatever you say, big sis.

at least helping the needy. Well, I'm needy.

Yeah, I know.

Here, have a turkey.

Here you go, Thomas.

Thanks, Nikki.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

Oh, I'm going to do what everybody else do. Find me a nice, quiet freeway

underpass, heat up these desert storm vittles over a nice trash can bonfire.

Then I'm going to find me a house with the curtains open and watch the game

without Sam from 100 Days...

That was a stupid question.

I know what.

Why don't you have dinner with me and my family?

for asking, but Veronica and I already have a commitment.

Oh, really?

Well, I ran into Veronica at the mall, and she said she was leaving town.

Okay, well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

How quaint. I didn't think two -year colleges had student unions.

Careful, this isn't Palo Alto.

Pardon me. No, no, no, I'm sorry.

My fault, I'm sure.

Oh, the color of water. This was just added to our syllabus.

You teach?

No, I'm working on my Ph .D. in African -American literature at Berkeley.

Really? I teach African -American literature here.

Stanley Ogilvie.

Constance McFarland.

I know Richard McFarland from college who lives in the Bay Area. He sells dog

food, of all things.

Canine cuisine. He's my husband, of all things.

So what do they call you?

D.

And what does that D stand for?

D.

Ooh, a rough neck.

I'm Tiffany.

So, um, what are we getting into tonight?

Whatever you want to.

I'm D.

T, cousin.

Oh, that's a trip.

I'm Kim's cousin.

Well, you didn't tell me you had a fine cousin.

Well, you didn't tell me you had a fine cousin either.

Hey, yo, T.

Tiffany says she want to get into something tonight.

Then look no further.

Uh, Kim, you down for the get -down?

Hey!

Stanley, I have a great idea.

If you don't have Thanksgiving plans, why don't you join us at my sister's

for dinner?

Are you sure? I don't want to impose.

Please, it's no imposition.

Really?

Well, I'm there then.

Oh, good.

Hey, Professor Ogilvie.

I see you've met my sister.

Say what?

Stanley will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner.

That's day six o 'clock?

Say what?

So, what happened to that's my story and I'm sticking to it?

Say what?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good.

Uh, who moved the furniture?

Was there an earthquake?

No. I've rearranged the furniture according to the ancient Chinese art

feng shui.

Shui what?

Feng shui.

Your home should make you feel calm and tranquil.

Really?

Well, right now I feel dazed and confused.

Now remember, we got up early to go to the store so that we could fix

I can't lie to my mama.

All she has to do is look into my eyes and know that we've been out all night

getting some TLC from T &D.

It's not going to work.

Oops.

Wrong house.

Oh, Mother's been doing her feng shui again.

You like?

Oh, yes.

Suddenly I feel calm, peaceful, and fearless.

Where have you girls been?

So much for that.

We spoiled our surprise, Auntie.

We got up real early to go get groceries so we could fix breakfast for you and

Mom. Yeah, that's what we did.

Kim, look at me.

I am looking at you.

Nikki, stop the interrogation. Tiffany does this every weekend.

Now, come on. We've got less than eight hours to make this house livable.

I'm not through with you, young lady.

I'm coming.

I can run to the store and pick up some.

What happened to those three cans we just bought, Kim?

I don't know. What do I look like, the cranberry keeper?

Just hurry back.

You don't be served in an hour.

Debbie, if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean.

Wait.

Well, she is my big sis.

That's no excuse.

I think big sis needs a big mama be down.

Look, Connie's always looked after me. When I was pregnant with Kim, everybody

turned their back on me. But not Connie.

Girl, she even helped put groceries on my table. I owe her.

It's not. It's Thanksgiving.

Time to give thanks.

Just think, well, she's not my sister.

Oh, that must be Stanley.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Come in, Thomas.

I didn't do nothing to that woman.

I know, Thomas. This is my sister, Constance. How you doing?

Yo, for you, Nikki, a little something I picked up.

I'll get the door. You keep an eye on him.

Good evening.

Enchanté.

I hope you like Merlot.

Perfectement.

Hey, you got any spare change? I promise I'll only buy food with it.

I only have this 20. That's cool.

Who is that?

Trust me, he ain't the one.

Well, the John Sharp turtleneck is a little tight.

But I like it.

What do you care for an hors d 'oeuvres, Stan? Oh, certainly.

Oh, Constance, these are delicious.

What are they?

Caviar on fruit.

Oh. Try this, Professor.

Mmm.

Tasty. What are they?

Sweeten it with me?

Well, as tempting as that sounds, I'll pass.

Oh, well, if you pass, I'm catching.

Honestly, Nikki, you're behaving like a troll. Have you no sense of decorum? Oh,

hold up.

I helped her decorate this place.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Please, Nikki, stop embarrassing yourself.

Constance, it's all right. Oh, come on, Professor. We both know you're way out

of her league.

Now, come on, Nikki. We have work to do in the kitchen.

Now, hold up, Constance. Yes?

I'll be right along.

She's really not that bad.

Sure, she's a little pushy, obnoxious, and uptight.

But she's my big sister.

Everybody chill.

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

We have been to six grocery stores, and they are all out of cranberry sauce.

Right. So we're on our way to another store right now.

I don't want to disappoint Aunt Nick.

I know how important Thanksgiving dinner is.

Okay, bye.

I love you.

That was too easy.

So were you.

Oh, if you weren't so fine, I'd slap you.

Pizzle with.

As much as I'm enjoying my rendezvous with my boo.

More time I spend with you, less time I have to spend eating that Lola's

cookies. Hold up, man. You talking about my mama cooking like that?

Hey, man, your mama's cooking is so bad, the flies got together and sewed up the

hole in the screen.

Just one bite.

I'm hypoglycemic.

So? I'm double -jointed.

She win.

Sorry, Mr. Buffett.

Damn you.

Miss Parker, it's been two hours. Will you please tell your sister we must eat?

I'm sorry.

But Connie's big on family. She won't enjoy the meal without Tiffany being

I will.

Okay, I'm out of here.

Does anybody know of a restaurant that's serving? I know a place. The food is

great, but the rat -a -rum. You might have to listen to a sermon first, take a

little urine test.

I don't care. I'd get blood for some food right now. Let's go.

Tiffany, where have you been? I told you we had to go to a couple stores.

Yeah, but we got the cranberry sauce.

Great. Now we can eat.

Yes! Hold up.

off those glasses.

Girl, I'm not playing with you.

Now, look me in the eye and tell me where you were.

Oh, Mama, you got some pretty eyes.

Girl.

Tiffany and I went to Carson to see T &D.

That's preposterous. Tiffany would never do something like that. Kimberly must

have put her up to it.

Now, wait a minute.

I admit I wanted to see T, but the cranberry scan was Tiffany's idea.

Oh, stop it, you little liar.

Mama.

I know you didn't call my child a liar.

Little sis.

Don't little sis me.

I put up with your phone sway, your funky way, and you ruining my

day. But accusing my child of being a liar is where I draw the line.

Stop being so dramatic.

No, you...

happened to you all my life i've looked up to you you were more than a sister

you were my friend but now you're nothing but a selfish stuck -up snob

you're so busy putting down others you ought to take a look at yourself i

to like who i am well i love who i am

and i would love to eat right now

So, could we just discuss this over dinner? No!

Mom, Kim's not lying. It was my idea to go to Carson. You don't have to cover

for Kim. I'm not covering for Kim.

Mom, I do stuff like this all the time.

You don't have a clue what's going on with me. I know everything that's going

with you.

Did you know I flunked out of school last semester?

What? She said she flunked out of school.

Quiet, Kim.

You never know what I'm doing.

And it's because you're too busy putting up a front.

I mean, as long as I pretend like everything is okay, you are happy.

There's no room for imperfection in your perfect little world.

Well, this is a little too much.

I'm just going to have to let your father handle this when he gets home.

Oh, please.

Dad moved out six months ago.

Or haven't you noticed?

Connie, I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

Uh, yeah.

Let's see, Yoro.

I see you got yourself a little old awkward situation here.

So if I could just get my plate to go, if you don't mind.

and your feelings.

How do you do it, Nikki?

You're so generous, so happy, so full of life.

Maybe the reason you're mad all the time is because you're hungry.

You need to eat some real food.

Here, I made you a plate.

I'm really proud of you, Nikki.

You always talk about how you look up to me.

I'm the one who looks up to you.

You'll be all right.

Just start paying attention to Tiffany.

Now, remember, you have to keep your eye on D for me.

Oh, I'll keep an eye on it. And I'll hold my hand, whatever it takes.

You're crazy.

Kim, I am so sorry.

You know I love you. I love you, too.

You better go.

Remember, I'm here for you.

Mama, being around them makes me appreciate you.

Now do you understand why I'm always in your business?

No.

I love you anyway.

I'll see you in about an hour.