Original subtitles

Now that we're working on the marketing project together, I want to talk to you

about what we're going to call you.

What we're going to call me?

I know what I call me.

Provider, maid, nurse, chauffeur, mama.

That's the one I want to talk to you about.

I think we should go on a first -name basis.

Everyone else calls you Nikki.

I didn't carry everyone else for 26 months.

And you're not carrying me now. I'm not a baby anymore.

Oh, but you're my baby.

I'm also your classmate, your roommate, and your friend.

Mama, please let me grow up.

Okay, if it's that important, I guess I can go along with it.

Thank you, Nikki.

I'm glad we could handle this woman to woman.

No problem. We're both adults.

So, Nick, what are we having for breakfast?

I don't know. Go ask your mama.

CEO of Kimberly Ann Parker and Associates. I'd like to call our first

meeting to order. Kimberly Ann Parker and Associates? What about us?

You're the associates.

Duh.

Did you pack a bag for that power trip you're on?

Hey, ladies.

Hey, sweetie.

Kim. Hi, Anthony.

Sorry I'm late. I passed a Starbucks, so I picked you up a caramel frappuccino

with cinnamon.

on a name for our company.

Kim wants Kimberly Ann Talker and Associates. What do you think?

I don't think the Associates part is necessary.

Boy, sit your sprung behind down.

Nikki, you're out of order.

Kimmy, you're out of your mind.

Do you have any ideas as to what our marketing project should be, Madame

I have ideas.

Since the Women of Santa Monica calendar was so successful, maybe we can do a

Men of Santa Monica calendar.

Not bad, Anthony, but I think I have a better idea.

Since the Women of Santa Monica calendar was so successful, maybe we can do a

Men of Santa Monica calendar.

If we do it really well, maybe we can sell it in the bookstore.

I don't know if that'll work, but if we do it really, really well, maybe it'll

sell in the bookstore. What do you think?

Kim, I have to be honest. I think it's your best idea yet.

You two ought to package that. and take it to Broadway.

No, it's a good idea. You know, and if we do it right, it doesn't have to be

degrading. If it's not degrading, we're doing something wrong.

A fine, well -oiled, half -naked man for every month?

Ooh, that's what I'm talking about.

And here comes one right now.

My Mr. January through December.

Hey, Professor Ogilvie.

Good morning, everyone.

Uh, Professor Ogilvie.

and coordinator for the Men of Santa Monica calendar, I'm officially inviting

you to participate.

You don't have a problem with nudity, do you?

Well, while I'm both flattered and frightened by your request, I must

decline. You see, I'm already participating.

I'm your faculty advisor.

Ooh, prayer works!

Not for me.

Anyway, I... I just came by to check in. If you need anything, don't hesitate to

contact me. Here are my numbers.

Got them.

Well, I was going to give you my private number. Got that, too.

Well, on that note, I must run. I'll run with you.

Nikki, I haven't adjourned the meeting. Well, let me help you.

Meeting adjourned.

Let's go, Professor. I need some advice about marking our calendar and on

honeymoon destination.

Let's go, Popeye.

Why did you do that?

That boy had enough beefcake for everybody to get seconds.

He was perfect for the calendar.

Yeah, if you like bunions. Did you see his feet?

He had feet.

Oh, yeah, big ones.

Well, I don't care. As president, I say he's out.

Well, as head of marketing and distribution, I say...

What did you think?

I liked him, Stevie.

And I didn't like him.

And what did you think?

It looked just didn't say Kimberly Ann Parker, Inc. As usual. You take the

right out of my mouth.

Is it me or are we always on the same page?

Oh, it's me.

What's up, y 'all? Hey, T.

Hey, I'm here for my interview.

Well, enough of the small talk. Strip. All right, cool.

Look, T, you're out of your league. We'll be in touch.

I ain't nigga. I thought you was my girl.

Don't worry, T. I got your back and your front.

You'll call me.

All right. All right, cool.

You'll have until 10 o 'clock tonight or else.

Or else what?

You'll have until 11.

Look, Kim, T is a cute boy, but he's not right for our calendar.

Well, I think he'd be perfect for Mr. October.

What do you think, Stevie?

I think he was right. Stevie? And I think he wasn't right.

People, I have the answer to all your calendar problems.

Say hello to a new month.

Mr. Hunktober.

This is Maurice.

Could you please take off your shirt?

Okay, whatever it takes.

Put your shirt back on.

Maurice, why don't you wait outside?

Oh, what do you think?

Isn't he the sexiest thing you've ever seen?

Yeah, in a Chewbacca sort of way.

Look, I don't have time for this. We have another audition at National

Geographic.

Good. Take Miguel O 'Gorilla with you.

We've got to find a hot guy for the cover.

I'm talking Ricky Martin hot.

Sounds like it's time for another men's locker room run.

Well,

the meeting is adjourned until tomorrow.

Uh, who's cleaning up my house? Oh, Anthony's got it. Thank you, Anthony.

Come on, Stevie.

Why do you let her treat you like that?

I don't mind. It doesn't bother me. Well, it bothers me.

You can't let people talk to you like that.

Now pick up that plate. It's not going to walk to the sink.

The truth is, I kind of like him.

Like?

Her nose is so wide open, I can read your mind.

Then you know I'm in love with her.

Look, Anthony, I like you, and you're a really sweet guy. So I'm just going to

love her with you.

You're not her type.

Not her type?

Kim is not that shallow.

No wonder you love her. You don't even know her.

God bless her. My daughter is as deep as a puddle. If you ain't cute, she don't

even see you.

Oh, I didn't mean it like that, Anthony.

There's really... There's nothing wrong with you than a shower, a haircut, and

a... You know your

eyebrows got married, right?

What's wrong with them?

It, baby. There's only one.

So you think you can help me?

I sell Mr.

Egyptian, not Mr. Magician.

But under one condition.

What's that?

You put this hat back on.

Kimmy Boo, breakfast is served.

Dang, it looks like I died and went to IHOP.

Nonsense, I just whipped up a little something for my loving daughter.

Who are you and what have you done with my mama?

think about Anthony?

He's cool in a beastie boy kind of way. Doesn't have an original thought in his

head, but I like him. Oh, so you wouldn't mind dating him, girlfriend?

Did you hear the word cute in my description, girlfriend?

But more importantly, he's sweet, kind, intelligent, and he thinks the world

revolves around you, girlfriend.

Again, did you hear the word cute?

Look, Nikki, bottom line, I'm not going out with Anthony.

Thanks for the breakfast, girlfriend.

Hey, Anthony, it's Nikki.

I've got good news and bad news.

The bad news is, Kim don't want you.

The good news is, I think we can change her mind.

Show me what you got. All right, you know what? Let's start with the yabba

-dabba -doo.

Dang, Stevie.

You started the 40 without me?

Hey, ladies, great news.

How did a naked man get in my living room?

Through the door. Then he knows the way out now.

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

Oh, no, wait, no, wait. The neighbors might see you. You should take the back

door.

back there, why don't you take the front door?

Boy, get out of my house.

I'm sorry, Nikki.

We did a bad, bad thing.

met an Adonis.

It's Anthony. No, it's not that either.

Yeah, it's me.

Anthony?

Anthony, I can't believe it's you.

Neither can I.

Believe it. I've got skills, and I needed all of them to wax, pluck, and

that unibrow into submission.

He says you like me. I think you're kind of cute.

You do? I mean, would you like to go to the movies sometime?

Tomorrow night, 6 o 'clock in the... Where that?

Attention. Attention, please.

I would like to propose...

I meant a toast.

Proposed a toast to Kimberly Ann Parker and Associates for a job well done.

Who, without my hard work and my baby Anthony's fine faith, would have not

received our first A ever?

Speak for yourself.

I am.

Anthony, say cheesecake.

No, I couldn't.

Cheesecake.

calendar. We did.

It's all right, Kim. I don't mind. I do, and I get lost.

You know, ladies, I'm Mr. October.

Isn't it wild?

A couple of weeks ago, nobody would give Anthony the time of day. Now the women

are crazy about him. I know it's just disgraceful. You young girls today have

sense of dignity.

shamelessly throwing yourselves at a professor.

Leaving so soon.

Yes, but thank you for the fun time. But I must be going.

I'll walk you to your car.

It's not safe for a tall, handsome professor like yourself to be walking

I'd feel much safer if you stayed.

with today.

Well, already gone through spring and summer. Time for autumn. Hey, October.

Fall in.

Hope you're paying because it's a broke month.

Hi, Tony. Hey, Gigi.

Tony, I just found out I have to work tomorrow.

Do you mind if I take a rain check? Sure. You call me later.

You didn't. She's just a friend. What kind of a friend?

Friend, friend?

Why are you being like this?

Like what?

Possessive, insecure.

I am not.

Look, that girl doesn't care about you. A few weeks ago, she wasn't even

checking for you.

According to my recollection, neither were you.

Excuse me? Somebody better remember that he worships the ground I walk on.

I'm not feeling this. Maybe we should give each other a little break, okay?

Fine, because I got too much going on to be one of your fans.

I don't have any fans.

Excuse me, would you please find my calendar?

Just be a minute.

talk about it. Okay.

All right, all right.

Stop badgering me.

I had to cut Anthony loose.

He dumped you? Yeah.

Can you believe it? If he had any sense, he would know those groupies aren't

interested in him. They're only interested in Anthony, the calendar boy.

Well, you ought to relate to that.

Don't try it. I've always been into Anthony.

Since when?

Since he became the calendar boy.

I rest my case.

It's your fault if you hadn't given him that makeover.

is what you get back.

There's more to a man than just his looks.

I know I have to go deeper, Nikki.

That's what I'm talking about.

There's also his money, his clothes, and his court.

I have my friend Candy and my friend Jasmine.

Oh, two for the price of one.

A real Walmart special.

So, you just get here? Oh, yeah. We went to the exhibit at... Mocha.

Yeah, the Museum of, um... Contemporary Art.

We're so in sync.

He even finishes my sentences.

It's like we're on the same page.

Remember that?

Not lately.

We're going to a party at Will and Jada's tonight.

You guys down?

No, we like to do much more mature things.

We're going to a party at Martin Lawrence.

What's up?

That's nice. See ya.

Hey, baby girl. Hey, Nikki.

Meet my friend, Chester.

Hey, Chester.

Nice to meet you, ma 'am. Can I get you ladies a libation?

No, but you can get us a drink.

He goes to UCLA.

That put me in poor year, man.

What are you trying to prove?

To show you I can go deep, Nikki.

Forget Nikki.

This is your mother.

You need to be honest and just tell Anthony how you feel.

I'm not feeling anything.

Hey, everybody. Photographer wants to take a picture. Come on.

You know, you're not exactly blameless in all this.

Whatever. Goodbye.

But I hate the way things are between us.

Go ahead.

I miss hanging out with you.

I miss laughing with you.

Miss you stealing my ideas.

I guess I just miss being your friend.

I miss being your friend too, Tony.

Yeah? You know, you can call me sometime.

In fact, why don't we go somewhere and talk right now?

I've got a better idea. What? Why don't we just go somewhere and talk right now?

Oh, what about our dates?

You look pretty. Show me that last night.

It's not what you think.

We're friends.

We've always been friends.

I like Anthony the person.

That's all I've been talking about, baby.

You're right, Mama.

Mama? Why my Mama again?

Because I'm hungry.

I think I have a better idea.

Since the men of Santa Monica calendar were so successful, why don't we flip it

and do a women of Santa Monica calendar?

Since the men of Santa Monica calendar were so successful, why don't we do a

women of Santa Monica?