Original subtitles

Hi, Pops.

Oh, who are you?

I'm the guest on the Muppet Show this week. I'm Gladys Knight.

Oh, me too. I'm always glad it's night. It's too hot during the day.

Oh, I hope you didn't mind that.

It's okay.

I allow one per show. Okay, come on in, but be careful. See, there's a fellow up

there fixing the roof.

Hey, be careful up there. We got an important guest here.

Who? She's Gladys.

I said just one.

It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Gladys Knight.

It's time to put on makeup.

It's time to dress up right.

It's time to raise a curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

Why do we always come here?

I just will never know.

It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show.

It's time to get things started. I'm the most sensational, inspirational,

celebrational, motivational.

This is what we call.

I give autographs after the show.

You may notice some workmen around, and that's because we're having our leaky

roof fixed.

But they won't interfere with the show.

Whoa!

Anyhow, it's going to be a wonderful show because our guest star is the

Gladys Knight.

Yes, but first... Will you get this bucket of nails out of here?

But first, this.

Like the beep, beep, beep of the tom -tom when the jungle shadows fall.

Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock as it stands against the wall.

Like a drip, drip, drip of a train drop when the summer shower is through.

So a voice within me keeps repeating you.

You.

When you've been stood up for 4 ,000 years, you're glad to see anybody.

Follow wherever I go In the roaring traffic

boom In the quiet of my lonely room I think of

you

Well,

those mummies didn't exactly bring the house.

Oh,

the roofers are handling that.

Are you the frog?

Of course I'm the frog.

What's that piece of wood?

Oh, well, it's not just any old piece of wood. This is the piece of wood that

holds up the roof. It's rotten.

Wait a second. If that's the piece that holds up the roof, what's holding up the

roof? My foreman.

He's holding the roof up?

Yes.

I'd rather know.

Listen, guys, I've got to go introduce Gladys Knight. Can you get this fixed?

Not me. There's something about heights I don't like.

What's that?

Falling from them.

Okay, well, folks, it's time now to meet our very special guest. So here she is,

putting the show on the right track and choo -chooing into your station.

Let's say all aboard as we stop, look, and listen to Miss Gladys Knight.

Choo -choo, boop, boop, boop, boop. Choo -choo, boop, boop, boop, boop.

fighting killing nothing but corruption it looks like mankind

is on the eve of destruction oh yes it is people let me tell you that we got to

learn to live with each other no no matter what

race creed of color I just got to tell you that the world needs

now the world needs now it's love and understanding so get on board the

friendship train everybody shake a hand shake a hand people i'm talking about

the friendship train everybody shake a hand make a friend now people listen to

us now we're doing our thing

to make tomorrow a brighter day for our children.

Yeah, but planes are safer.

They are?

Sure. I only rode on a train once and it had an accident.

What happened? A plane fell on it. Whoa!

Okay, guys.

Great number, Gladys. Hey, thanks, Currit. And you know what? I just loved

mop hips.

Mop hips.

Hey, Fozzie. Huh? Where'd you learn to drive a train like that?

Oh, I studied.

I had train training.

We gotta talk. You are the frog, right?

Of course I'm the frog. Who could I be? The Prince of Wales?

Listen, Prince.

You got big problems with this roof of yours.

Oh, boy. Can't you fix it?

Hey, I can fix it, but not here.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, we're gonna have to take it into the shop.

What?

Okay, guys. Signal the crane now.

But when will that be?

Hey, I don't know. These things can take months, you know.

Excuse me, Kermit. Hmm? Have you noticed that the roof is missing?

Yeah, I noticed that, Gladys, but you must admit that it's a beautiful sunset.

Yeah, but I just heard the weather forecast.

Rain?

No, snow.

And now, veterinarian. Hospital, the continuing story of a quack who's

gone to the dog.

Dr.

Bob, how can you operate without a roof?

It's better without a roof. Cuts down the overhead.

That's Dr. Talk.

We'll head for the nearest tax shelter.

That's more Dr.

Talk. Oh, Nurse Janice!

Yes, Dr.

Bob. Where have you been? Taking angry calls from the medical association.

Dr.

Bob, the sky is threatening.

Yeah, so is the audience, but that's never stopped us.

I don't know whether you should operate.

Oh, let's ask the patient.

He can tell us he's a weatherman.

You mean he knows whether or not I should operate?

I didn't think it was that bad.

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky. I do, because it's nighttime.

Pretty dumb weatherman.

Oh, no, he's not. He's a singing weatherman. He's just telling you it's

weather. I don't believe this.

But he's right. It is stormy weather. I just felt some raindrops.

Keep falling on my head. They keep falling. There's going to be more than

falling on your head. Where's that from?

And so we come to the end of another veterinarian's hospital.

He must be on a cloud.

Tune in next week when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say... Dr.

Bob, it's getting worse.

It's beginning to hail.

Hail? The gang's all here.

What the hell?

In the funny papers, we all know.

He lived away back a long time ago.

You know, he don't eat nothing but a bear cat.

Well, this cat's name is Allie.

Like great big lions and...

Oh, that

number goes

back a long ways.

Oh, it didn't go back far enough. I could still see it.

Oh, that's a nice blues roll.

It's easy to have the blues when you don't have a roof over your head.

True enough.

Actually, this is a little number by my favorite blues singer, Fat Mama

Jefferson.

Fat Mama Jefferson.

I don't remember her.

Was she a black woman?

No.

A white woman?

Actually, she was spotted.

Come on, wait a minute. Don't tell me she was a dog.

Boy,

could she sing the blues.

She was a basset hound.

Okay, I remember her now.

Didn't she write that classic, I won't hang my head in shame because I step on

my ears when I do?

That's Fat Mama, all right.

But that doesn't sound like your kind of song.

Not exactly. I lean more toward Ma Rainey, Dinah Washington, Billie

Hey, Billie Holiday.

Boy, she sang some great songs.

Oh, I like that.

Remember this one?

I remember it all right.

Then that's God shall get.

Then that's not shall lose.

Though the Bible says, and it still

is news, Mama may have,

Papa may have, but God bless the child

that's got his own, that's got his

own.

Ooh, the strong gets more while the weak ones fade.

Empty pockets don't ever make the grade.

Mama may have, Papa may have,

but God bled the child that's got it.

Let's go.

God bless the child

that's got his own.

That's the last straw.

Hey, Scooter, would you take over for me for a minute? I got to go see if I can

do something about that roof.

Okay, Chief.

Senor Buffy, on next.

Oh, boy, look at this.

Oh, Scooter, Scooter, do you think there's room for my monologue in the

Afraid not, Foz. But you can be in the next number.

Yeah, Senor Buffy's assistant didn't show up. Oh, terrific.

You won't be sorry. Well, what do I do?

Well, can you go out and stand on stage and smile?

Can I?

Can a fly bird?

Can a bird fly?

Trust me.

Oh, Senior Boppy. What?

You're on as soon as I introduce you.

Say, this fog isn't going to interfere with your knife throwing, is it? Oh, no.

I'm aiming by the sound anyway.

You just tell the target to keep yelling.

Yeah. This is the stage?

No, no, this way, Senior Boppy. Oh, thank you.

And now the act you've all been waiting for, the one and only Senior Buffy and

his flashing knives of death.

Hey, Buffy, are you there?

Crazy to send a night thrower out in the fog like this.

Come and help.

Fozzie, don't yell.

The border guard closed the curtain. What did you say, Kermit?

Oh, good news, Chief.

I think I feel a breeze coming up. Oh, we could use some good news around here.

Kermit, help, help. Hide me. There's this madman throwing knives at me. Well,

don't worry, Fozzie. It's all over now.

Oh, boy.

There goes the running order.

Now, how do I know which act is next?

When in doubt, go with a star.

You're right. Go tell Gladys she's on next, okay?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think the wind is about to die down here.

Here she is with one of her greatest hits, a lady who can sing up a storm and

may have to sing in one. Miss Gladys Knight!

Ooh,

I bet you wouldn't think how I knew.

in an evening I'll never forget.

Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping you would.

Listen, I'm sorry about this roof business.

Oh, that's okay. I'm dressed for it. But what about you?

Aren't you cold?

No, I'm wearing my thermal collar.

But they don't look too happy out there in the vineyard.

Oh, they're just saw grapes.

We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

Big deal. This show always makes us sick.