Original subtitles

Oh, Ann. Ann Murray.

15 seconds of curtain, Miss Murray.

Thanks, Scooter.

Is skateboarding allowed in the theater?

Nope. Strictly forbidden. For some dumb reason, though I don't know why.

I just remembered the reason.

It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest, Ann.

It's time to get things started.

It's time to get things started.

tonight because our special guest is the lovely recording star and entertainer

miss ann murray but before we meet miss murray we have a sensational opening

number now i'm not going to tell you anything about it because i want it to

real surprise and a second hey uh hey back there well would you turn off that

that uh uh chainsaw turn off the chainsaw

By the chainsaw, that's the motorcycle for Miss Piggy's opening number.

No, it's a motorcycle. I was trying to keep it from the audience.

Back there.

Hey,

guys, back there.

Turn off that chainsaw.

Got it.

I don't know why he even tried.

Ladies and gentlemen, our opening number featuring Miss Piggy on a...

motorcycle. You blew it!

Putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt. Oh, boy.

Cermy? Yeah? Oh, Cermy, you know, you and I should have done that number

together. Oh? You'd be very attractive in the leather and goggle look.

Well, I just need the leather. I already got the goggle look.

favorite songs. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Anne -Marie!

Beneath its snowy metal cold and plain, the unborn grass lies waiting for

its coat to turn to grain.

I was young then too And anything that it would tell me That's the thing that I

would do But now I feel such emptiness within For

the thing that I want most in life's the thing that I can't win Spread your

tiny wings and fly away And take the snow back with you where it came from

on that day

When I left forever is untrue.

And if I could, you know that I would fly away with you.

The breeze along the river seems to say that he'll only break my heart

again should I decide to stay.

So little snowbird, take me with you when you go to that land of gentle

breezes where the peaceful water

And if I could, you know that I would fly away with you.

into the snowbirds, huh?

Um, yes.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm the dodo who lives around here.

Well, this is a beautiful forest.

Oh, really?

We're tearing it all down.

You're kidding.

Nope, gonna build apartment houses.

Yep, rip out the trees, brick up the creek.

Apartments everywhere.

I didn't know birds built apartment houses.

Oh, yeah, these are especially built for birds.

get on with my song now? Yeah, but you better sing fast.

The bulldozers are coming.

Yeah, if I could, you know.

Snowbirds? Snow good, either.

Okay, great number, great number. That was just wonderful, Ann. Hey, what about

me? Well, to be honest, I hate bird jokes.

Oh, come on, Kermit. He just did it for a lark.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Scooter, Scooter, would you tell the Mexican hat dancers they're on next?

Oh, I did.

Good. Scooter, you're not riding your skateboard up there, are you? Nope, I

it downstairs.

Oh, good.

You think that's funny, huh?

Oh,

here's another mucho haha for you. You see, your set is ruined, and so the

Mexican hat dance number has to be canceled.

And now for this Muppet News Flash.

Muppet Labs announced today the invention of a new hair trigger

The paper was inscribed with the following message, quote, Muppet Labs

today the invention of a new hair -trigger -exploding paper.

Ladies and gentlemen, there's been a last -minute program change.

The Mexican hat dancers have graciously stepped aside.

that we may present the following piece of weirdness.

Wonder, trudge, wonder, trudge, wonder, wonder,

wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder,

wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder,

wonder, wonder,

wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder.

chuckle, gloat groan, whipper giggle, gloat moan, giggle groan chuckle, gloat

whipper smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash smash

Deal. Trudge,

trudge.

from a record -breaking two -day engagement at the Saskatoon,

Parrot Jungle.

I want to hear y 'all now. Here we go.

Miss Murray, I'm... Snoop. Yeah, yeah.

And I just came up to your... Dressing room?

Yeah.

Because I was looking for my... Saxophone.

Yeah.

Anything else you want to know?

No, that about covers it. You know, there's just one way to keep from losing

that thing. What's that?

Keep blowing it.

We have.

That's very nice.

Zoot.

Hey, are those guys still here? They finished their number a long time ago.

don't they go home?

They say they want transportation.

Transportation?

Yeah, they say they're waiting for their chauffeur.

Guys, there seems to be some misunderstanding here. You see, we

Your chauffeur's name is Scooter.

Okay, boss.

Why don't you go and wait there by the door, and he'll come and pick you up.

Scooter?

Ready.

Your passengers are down there by the door.

Okay.

on the ceiling near my bed in my sight through

the night I try to hide in vain

underneath my counter

Since it is a dancing floor job.

some skateboard tricks on stage?

Uh, well, maybe next week, Scooter. We're just about to do the closing

now. Oh, gee, my uncle owns this theater and who's in the audience tonight and

who won't be here next week because he's talking to his accountant about a big

rent increase?

Yeah. Well, we'll be very disappointed.

Scooter, shouldn't you be getting your skateboard ready for the closing number?

Oh, thanks, Chief.

Some Chief taking orders from the Papoose.

of course, Scooter's uncle.

Once again, it is time for our guest star and our skateboards. So let's have

really big hand for Ms. Ann Murray.

Yay!

When trumpets were mellow And every gal only had

one fellow No need to remember when Because everything

old is new again.

Dancing at Long Island.

Jazz age parties.

Way to bring us some more Bacardi.

Order now what they order then.

Because everything old is new.

Get out your white suit, top hat and tail.

Let's go backwards and forward, Bill.

And movie stars, they thought we're long dead.

Get them framed beside your bed.

Don't throw the past away.

You might need it some rainy day.

Dreams can come true.

When everything old is new again Get out your white

suit, top hat and tail And put it in backwards when forward fell

And leave Greta Garbo alone And be a

movie star

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, Kermit. You know, it's been a lot of fun.

You people are just wonderful.

Kermit, are you all right?

you know something doesn't have to be funny to be good what did you think of

this show it was good