Original subtitles

Leslie Ann Warren.

20 seconds to curtain, Miss Warren.

Okay, thank you. Thank you, Scooter. Good luck to both of you. Good luck to

of us.

Don't use us, good luck.

We got talent.

We got drive.

We got charisma.

Don't use us, good luck.

Wish me luck.

with our very special guest star, Leslie Ann Warren.

I'm

going

to play the music.

It's time to light the light.

It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup.

It's time to dress up right.

It's time to get things started.

Why don't you get things started?

It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational,

celebrational moment.

Hey, we hope you're as glad to see us as we are to see us, among other people.

Anyhow, tonight we've got a real treat for you because our very special guest

stars are that world -famous knife -throwing act, Leslie and Warren.

But first... Kermit! What is it, Scooter? Only one of them showed up.

What? How can you have a knife -throwing act with only one person? Where's the

other one?

I don't know. Maybe he had an accident on the last gig.

Well... As I was saying, we have a really terrific show tonight with our

special guest star, Leslie Ann Warren.

Wait a minute, aren't you?

I am a guest star.

Oh, my goodness, Leslie Ann Warren!

Well,

wait a minute, you're not Leslie Ann Warren.

You're Leslie Ann Warren, the actress, the dancer, the singer.

Thank you.

Well, so how come you're doing a dumb knife -throwing act?

You know, Kermit, I thought you were the one person on this show who wasn't

crazy. Me not crazy?

I hired the others.

But listen, just come backstage, and we'll sort this whole thing out. In the

meanwhile, I'll leave you in the company of the great Gonzo!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This evening, I will perform a feat of lunatic daring.

Before your very eyes, I will ride this motorcycle up this ramp and jump

directly into that box, landing safely between those two elderly gentlemen.

What? Oh, I can assure you, you'll be in no danger.

You're right. We'll be in Chicago.

For their own safety, while they were dozing, I took the precaution of

them to their chairs.

What?

First,

I accidentally introduced Leslie Ann Warren as a knife -throwing act, and

Konzo does that.

We are off to a crummy start.

Oh, it's going to be a great act, Kermit, but something's wrong with my

Don't. If I advance any more.

I'm sorry about that confusion before, folks, but it is time now to bring out

our very special guest star. Well, here we are, ready to go on.

What are you two doing out here? We're the very special guest stars.

Right, Leslie and Warren, the dancing cucumbers.

See, he's Leslie, and I'm Warren.

Yeah, yeah, but our special guest star is a big TV star that sings and dances

and acts and does comedy.

Yeah, but can she make salad?

Ladies and gentlemen, Leslie Ann Warren.

An interpretation of Beauty and the Beast by Ms. Leslie Ann Warren.

How do they do that?

Do what?

Kermit, Kermit, Kermit. Hey, I got a message for you from Gonzo. Uh -oh,

the bad news?

Oh, no, it's good news.

Yeah, Gonzo has half of his motorcycle jump perfected. Which hand?

The takeoff.

What about the landing?

What?

Standing still needs work.

Now, pigs in space!

When last we left the spaceship Swine Trek, it was about to pass through a

shower of mysterious dumbo rays.

Dr. Strangepork, are dumbo rays dangerous?

Well, not really, Link. They only affect creatures of very low intelligence.

Miss Piggy, maybe you better lock yourself in a closet till we pass

them.

Très amusant, mon capitaine.

We should be starting through them now.

Oh, no.

Yes, there they are.

That's it, we're through them.

That wasn't so bad.

Well, I told you, you really have to be stupid to be affected by dumbo rays.

Link?

Oh, no.

Sorry.

Does that mean... Yes.

But the effect is only temporary, so don't...

The victim becomes a tap dancer.

to have an explanation for this week's eggs in spray.

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful and talented Leslie Ann Warren

accompanied by our very own Ralph.

Where's Ralph?

You're not Ralph.

No.

But where is Rob?

by hitting Dad the creature?

But that's cruel.

Oh, it is cruel.

You do not hear them complaining, do you? Shut up.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry I'm late, but somebody locked me in my dressing room.

Oh.

I'm not sure.

A little

bit

more light than that actually would be good

It's a gorgeous little song here. Yeah, it's one of my favorites.

Yeah, me too.

Wow.

Don't go changing To try to please me

You never let me down

Don't imagine you're too familiar and

I don't see you anymore.

I would not leave you in times of trouble.

We never could have come apart.

I took a good time.

I'll take the bad time.

I'll take you just...

couldn't love you any better I

love you just the way you are

I

couldn't love you

And it better

Me too.

Are we in the right theater?

And now for the second time this evening, the great Gonzo will attempt a

motorcycle jump off of this stage into that box up there, landing safely

those two elderly gentlemen.

We're not afraid. We know Gonzo. If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail

again. And so here he is now, ladies and gentlemen. I'm ready, Kermit.

Yeah, I'm introducing you. Introduce fast. I'm really ready.

Okay, ready or not.

good -looking?

Who is that?

Well, that was my snappy opening line.

Sort of an icebreaker.

Well, I, um, I'd hate to break perfectly good ice.

Uh, what?

Wait a minute.

Aren't you Link Hogthrob?

I'm one of the stars of the show here. Perhaps you've admired me from afar?

I'd really rather admire you from... from here.

What?

Maybe while we dance?

Oh, well, uh... Actually, I'm not much of a dancer, and tonight's my night to

bowling. This is the last dance.

It is?

Last dance.

Romeo, tonight, I

need you by me too.

It's my last chance.

Hi, Jim Cantaloupe. Well, I think it's just about time we called it a show, so

it's a show.

Anyhow, before we go, let's have a warm thank you for our very special guest,

our ladies and gentlemen, Leslie Ann Warren.

Um,

you were introducing me, right? Not the dancing cucumbers?

Oh, I'm sorry about that, Leslie. I mean, who knew there was an act called

Leslie Ann Warren?

Are you kidding?

Us, Les, Lee, and Warren.

Yup, that's us.

Oh, I get it.

Let me see. You're Les, you're Lee, and you're Warren.

See?

Yeah, by the way, who's the lady?

I'm sorry about that, Leslie. We'll make it up to you somehow.

Tomorrow at 7 on The Muppet Show, Harry Belafonte performs the famous Banana

Boat song.

Coming up next on Happy Days, join the gang for a look back at some of their

favorite moments from the past.

The show is beginning to roll.

So is the motorbike.