Original subtitles

Cheryl Ladd? Cheryl Ladd? 20 seconds to curtain, Miss Ladd. Oh, thank you,

Scooter. I just can't seem to get my costume off.

Off? You're supposed to put it on.

I know, but first he takes it off and then I'll put it on.

It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Cheryl Ladd.

Hey, would you guys be quiet? We're trying to heckle up here.

Hey, tonight our very special guest is one of the loveliest and most talented

ladies of the entire entertainment world, Cheryl Ladd. But first, on stage,

Piggy and Link Hogthrob in a steamy jungle number.

Many people nowadays are returning to the natural life in search of peace and

tranquility. Well, this may change their mind.

I love those.

You, Stadler.

No, you, Waldorf. Me, Thick.

Okay, nicely sung, Piggy. Thank you, Kermie. Yes, nicely sung, Chimp.

Nicely swung, Link.

Ralph, on stage for your piano piece.

I'm ready. Don't worry. It'll be great.

That won't be great.

Yes, but he plays it too fortissimo.

Whatever you say.

Excuse me. Hi.

Excuse me, but are you busy?

While I'm doing that introduction for sure, I'll add. Good. Listen, I've been

reading a book here on self -improvement. Yeah. And it says that I

boss, that's you, to make a list of my good points and my bad points.

Oh, Father, you don't want me to do that.

Oh, but Kermit, I do. You see, it will help me to grow into a more mature and

adult bear.

Well, okay, if you really want me to. Oh, thank you, Kermit, thank you.

Went pretty good, Kermit, but I think I played it too fortissimo.

What did I tell you?

Kermit, excuse me, Kermit, you know that list?

Yeah. When you make it, you know, really be honest, okay?

But gentle.

How can you gently run over someone with a truck?

Ladies and gentlemen, our guest star tonight is best known for her dazzling

performances on television, but acting is only one of the things she does well.

See for yourself, here she is, Cheryl Lamb!

The neat little rhythm of the happy dancing feet. When I look there, the

out running and bright. Now they're going to have a lot of fun. Make way.

Everybody's coming in.

See the big parade.

Make room. Give me some air.

I really get a thrill.

I know I always will.

Whenever I can hear the rhythm of a band.

Pigs in space, Snacks. Set up pigs in space.

Okay, boy, that was a great number. That charolette is terrific.

Yes, but that trumpet player kept going flat.

If I remember my history, Beethoven was supposed to be deaf.

I'm not Beethoven, dummy. I'm a bust of Beethoven.

Of course.

It's a job. You gotta do something for a living, and I'm a bust of Beethoven.

Any more questions?

No, no, no, no. Nothing.

Just forget the...

Excuse me. What?

Excuse me.

Kermit, have you finished that list, you know, with my good points and my bad

points? Well, not yet. I just made a few notes.

Oh, oh, oh, a few notes, yeah. Oh, let's see.

Kermit, you're kidding.

You don't really think that I... Oh, no.

Not that.

Kermit. Look at this.

I need this.

Okay, sometimes I may be a little... Oh, Kermit, not this.

Fozzie, I think I better explain.

No, no.

Come on. It's okay. It's okay. I can understand how you might think that I

these bad points.

Oh, well, actually, that list is your good points.

I think I better go get a cup of coffee.

You want to talk bad points? Let's start with that crummy hat you always wear.

And now, Pigs in Space!

When last we left the swine track, Dr. Strangepork was on the verge of

completing his mysterious experiment.

Well, Link, this is it. At last my work is completed and I can present the

universe with this little baby.

What is it? It's a pill that makes pigs invisible.

What a wonderful and useful invention.

Let's try it. Oh, certainly.

Well, here's looking at you. But not for long.

This is weird.

Oh, I think it's peachy neat.

Oh, I think I'm going to have to sit down.

Oh, Link, Link, a strange park.

Hmm, no one on the bridge.

Strange.

I'll just use the intercom.

Woo -hoo!

I'd say this chair is due for a spell of leave.

Testing one, two, three.

Hug, throw up to the bridge.

What the heck?

I know that hit.

Strange pork.

Link! Oh, the pills are beginning to wear off.

What do you think she's planning?

I don't know, Link, but let's not stick around to find out. Yeah. Link!

Huh? Hurry!

Uh -oh. Oh, Link, we found out. Oh,

smell that country air.

for a picnic round there. It's really nice.

What's that sound?

There's a new sound, the newest sound around, the strangest sound that you

ever heard.

Not like a wild boar or a jungle lion's roar, it isn't like the cry of any bird.

But there's a new sound, it's deep down in the ground, and everyone who listens

to it squirms because it's new, new sound. So deep down in the ground, it's

sound that's made by worms.

There's a new sound, the newest sound around, the strangest sound that you

ever heard.

Not like a wild boar or a jungle lion's roar. It isn't like the cry of any bird.

But there's a new sound. It's deep down in the ground and everyone who listens

to it squirms because it's new, new sound. So deep down in the ground is the

sound that's made by worms.

There's a new sound.

The newest sound around.

The strangest sound that you have ever heard.

Not like a wild boar or a jungle lion's roar. It isn't like the cry of any bird.

But there's a new sound.

It's deep down in the ground. And everyone who listens to it squirms.

it's new, new sound. So deep down in the ground is the sound that's made by

worms.

There's a new sound.

The newest sound around.

The strangest sound that you have ever heard.

Not like a wild boar or a jungle lion's roar. It isn't like the cry of any bird.

But there's a new sound.

It's deep down in the ground. And everyone who listens to it squirms.

it's new, new sound. So deep down in the ground is a sound that's made by worms.

No, Miss Piggy, come in. Oh, thank you.

Oh, by the way, I borrowed some of your perfume. I hope you don't mind.

Oh, that stuff's okay.

Oh, I'm so glad you came in because there was something I wanted to talk to

about. Oh, tell me yes.

Oh. Go ahead.

Oh, come on.

I am really a big fan of yours.

Of course.

Although I am a bit surprised. You see, most women are insanely jealous of you.

Well, I can understand that. You certainly are a threat.

Beauty can be a curse.

Do you know what I admire most about you?

Well, I'd like to guess.

My big blue eyes.

My beautiful blonde hair.

My self -like figure.

No, you're chopped.

What?

You're chopped. You know what?

You're really super. I've seen you in action.

Well, I've seen you deck a few baddies yourself.

After all, we have to protect ourselves. We are just helpless girls.

Ready? Ready.

I'm a girl and I mean that's only great.

I am proud that my silhouette is curvy.

I walk with a... Sweet and goodish cake.

With my hips kind of swively and swirly.

I adore being dressed in something frilly.

When my date comes to get me at my place.

Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy.

Like a Billy who was ready for the race.

Oh, oh, this is the dummy I practiced on.

Oh, Cheryl, how sweet.

dummy too.

Come here.

Yeah, where do you want?

Just trust me.

Ready? Right.

When I have a brand new hairdo.

Funny. The pearls.

I just laugh it up like.

What are you doing here? Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! What?

Careful! What? Those chickens are hypnotized.

Hypnotized chickens?

Yes. They're in my power.

Gonzo, I don't believe this.

Oh, sure. See, I hypnotize them and then I can get them to do anything I want.

Like what?

going to introduce you for a crummy act like that?

Sick him.

Okay,

okay, okay, okay, I'll introduce him.

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, your own and you're welcome to him, Gonzo the

Great.

Now, students of the occult, I shall demonstrate my amazing powers of

I shall place a member of the audience in a trance. Aided only by the

strength of hypnotic suggestion, my subject will support with only one hand

5 ,000 -pound weight.

Who will be the first lucky volunteer?

It's just a question of mind over matter.

That's right. You don't mind and we don't matter.

You live to regret this.

We intend to.

I just don't understand you people.

Immortality is up for grabs.

But you don't deserve it.

No, but you do.

What a terrific idea.

I'll hypnotize you. myself.

I'll go down in history.

Look deep into my eyes.

Make my mind a complete blank.

My eyelids are getting heavy.

I am falling into my power.

When I count three, I will have the strength of an army.

One, two, three.

But how do you get out of it? It's simple.

I just snap my fingers.

Hey, Kermit, it went terrific.

He says it went terrific, but I know how he really feels.

How's that?

About so high.

Okay, that was a nice one, Gonzo.

Yeah, I don't know where you find these acts to do.

Well, I just keep my ear to the ground.

It looks like it.

You will all be happy to know that Gonzo did survive that last act and is about

to embark on a new career as a lump.

But right now it's time for our closing number. Are we ready back there?

Who wants to know?

I do.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, boss.

Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful Miss Cheryl Lane.

On my shoulder makes me happy.

Sunshine.

Jai.

And Jack.

Hermit, I just wanted to tell you thank you. I have had so much fun working with

the Muppets. I want to thank each one of you, starting from the top.

Oh, no!

That means I'm last!

Hey, Gonzo, don't be such a baby. Grow up! I'm trying!

Well, let's go while the going's good. Well, I'm glad something's good tonight.