Original subtitles

Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Leachman. Okay, Scooter, I'll be ready.

thank you for this lunch.

Just hope you remember that I don't eat meat of any kind.

And you'll be happy to know that I am a vegetarian.

Make the Muppets on the Muppet Hill tonight.

It's time to put on makeup.

It's time to dress up right.

It's time to get things started.

Quit while you're ahead.

It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational,

celebrational, Muppetational This is what we call a...

Muppet Show.

Hey, you're going to love tonight's show because our special guest is the star

of television and films, Miss Cloris Leachman. But first, first let's get...

What are you guys doing?

Pigs are taking over the show.

Yes, and you'll never get away with it. What a big year.

We did it, we did it.

Hi -ho, Kermit the Pig year.

Hey, welcome to the Muppet Show, but tonight let's open the festivities.

over the show. Well, hoo -ha! Where's my frog, huh? What happened to him?

But, Miss Piggy, you're starring in the opening number.

I don't care if you touch one flipper of my frog.

I'm starring in the opening number? Of course. You're the biggest pig star

got.

We'll talk about what's -his -name later.

And now, let's get the show rolling.

A dream of romance for the scene where the villain is mean.

That's entertainment.

The light on the lady's side. Or the bride with the guy on the side. Or the

ball where she gives them her all.

That's entertainment.

It might be a fight like you see on the screen.

It's rain getting slain for the love of a queen.

Some great Shakespearean scene where a ghost and a prince meet. And everyone

ends in mincemeat.

Be that talented?

No, be that bad.

Whoa!

Move, move, you little frog, move.

Come on, come on.

Now, listen, you guys.

Oh, come on. Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

Oh, it's been terrible.

Come on, do you know that the pigs have taken over the show?

Where are we? Is this the boiler room? Yes, the boiler room, yes.

Well, listen, Fuzzy, don't worry. We will get out of here. Of course we'll

out of here, because I, the bear, have a plan.

I am going to tie some sheets together, and we will slip out the window.

What window?

No window.

Oh, come in.

Come in. We got a bust out of here.

Come in. There's no telling how long they could keep us here. Look, look,

What is that? I started a calendar.

Believe me.

Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy.

Do not panic. Listen, we'll use that telephone there and call for help.

The telephone, of course.

It's working.

Here it comes.

This may take longer than I thought.

What's the matter? Did I get your name wrong? No, no, that's not it. You don't

like the dress.

No, it's okay for the number I'm doing. You don't like the number.

No, it's okay for the dress I'm wearing.

But it's a great number. You and Sweetums will be terrific. No, no, no.

number with Sweetums comes at the end of the show.

Oh, that's my mistake. Excuse me.

Sweetums, Sweetums, back to the dressing room. Come on, back.

Okay, cut, cut.

That is not Sweetums.

And you are not Kermit. Yes, I am. Oh, no.

I've seen the Muppet Show on television many times, and you don't look anything

like the Muppets that I've seen.

But maybe it's your television set. No, it's not the set. I mean, you're green,

and you've got that darling, funny, pointy collar that Kermit used to wear,

you're not Kermit. Oh, yes, I am. All right, then. I'll spell it out for you.

You are a pig.

P -I -G.

You're not a frog.

F.

are older.

No, no, no, you are not a frog, and there is nothing you can say that will

convince me that you are a frog.

Nothing. Ribbit.

Ribbit, ribbit.

It is you.

And now, once again, our special guest, Miss Cloris Leachman.

Oh, it's going great. They got this new MC and the audience loves him. Kermit

the Pig.

Kermit the Pig?

Easy, easy, Kermit. Don't take it so personally.

And the new comedian, Foddy the Pig.

Foddy the Pig.

We gotta get out of here.

We will get out of here. Look what I smuggled in.

A spoon?

Everybody's favorite funny pig.

That great big lovable ham who's really a bore and proud of it.

Mr. Fozzie Pig!

Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya!

I'm really hot tonight.

I guess you could say the fat's in the fire.

Speaking of fat, my wife is so fat that when she brings home the...

Back to school.

Yeah, you see? Get this. You see, I still got a lot to learn.

Bunsen Honey Pig, today announced he had successfully converted a sow's ear into

a silk purse.

Dr. Honey Pig is now the object of a massive civil and criminal suit by the

of a neighborhood artist, Mrs. Vincent Van Gogh Pig.

How's it going, guys?

Oh, it's horrific.

Gonzo's digging and... I'm going to smuggle the dirt out in my hat.

nice of you miss piggy my loyalty is here with my frog uh

pigs in space on next

you have to cancel it i i remain with

my sweetheart oh gee miss piggy okay we'll just get someone to take your

take my place i mean if you want to stay here with them

Dr. Julius Strangeport.

As we left the swine trap last time, it was under attack from an alien thief.

about the show they haven't changed?

What's that?

It's still not funny.

How's Gonzo doing?

Pretty good, I guess. I can't even see him anymore.

We take you now to a desert island where the coconuts and guest stars grow.

Oh,

dear. Oh, great.

I thought I'd never make it.

the dish.

Well, you're quite a dish.

That does it. I'm leaving.

Oh, where'd a nice lady come from?

This is the cook.

those pigs where did those pigs come from and where did they go i mean who

organize a hog calling contest it was amazing it was bizarre it was easy

cloris you did that for us well i'm from iowa you must be a great

hog caller

On the Muppet Show, Helen Reddy sings and Miss Piggy performs her rendition of

the Bee Gees hit, Staying Alive.

Next on Happy Days, the pressure is on Marion and Joni when Howard campaigns

Man of the Year.

That was weird.

I'll tell the world. Go ahead.

That was weird.