Original subtitles

Petula Clark?

20 seconds to curtain, Miss Clark.

Right. Scooter, I hate to complain, but they're the moose in my dressing room.

Yeah, that's a mistake.

Well, I should hope so. You're supposed to get the buffalo.

It's the Muffin Show with our special guest star, Miss Petula Clark.

It's time to put on makeup.

It's time to dress up right.

It's time to get things started.

Well, it's downhill from here.

It's time to get things started.

tonight is one of the truly great international singing stars, Miss Petula

Clark. But first, we... What is this, a moose?

I was supposed to be a buffalo.

Just leave, okay?

All right. I'll be backstage reading a moose paper.

Our ship is leaving, port's was found, we're named the good ship, Nancy Brown.

Yo -ho!

Ship the boom, hoops the deck, rattle the hatch, name the sail, pepper the

mince, anchors away in the morn.

Well done, me hearty. Aye, aye, happy, sir.

Oh, I'm tired already.

Ha. So we'll be sailing with the tide, we said farewell to our girls in pride.

Yo -ho!

Ring to the rat, hoist the itch, bury the hatchet, hoop the deck, beat the

breeze, lard she blows in the morn.

And soon we'll be out on the ocean.

So let's deep -ho with the will. Deep -ho!

And come, Jolly Tars, let's sing while we can.

For soon we'll all be deathly ill.

Sing your ho. Sing your ho. Sing your ho. Sing your ho. Sing your ho. Sing

ho. Sing your ho.

Sing your ho.

Oh, there's nothing, nothing, nothing like the sailor's life. The sailor's

is grand.

Oh, I'd never give up the sea unless... You offered me a job

unless...

Follow the fleet. Anchors away.

Top of the butt. Roll the dice. Heel the cart.

Head for the... We're sailing away. Sailing away.

Sailing away.

Sailing away.

On the blinding sea.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Oh Nothing will save this show.

Well, it wasn't my fault.

Okay, nicely sung, guys. Badly sailed, but nicely sung.

Uh, haven't you men heard the old saying, women and captains first?

Yeah, okay.

Let's see, Pet Clark is standing by, so... Hiya, Frog.

Yes, hello again, Moose.

Do you mind if I hang out backstage here a while?

I've got every other kind of animal. Why not a moose?

You've got true grit, bud.

Yeah. By the way, what is your name?

Mickey. How about that? Mickey Moose.

Mickey Moose, will you get out of my backstage?

Mickey Moose, dumb name.

Okay, anyhow, now here she is, our very special guest, ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Pachula Clark.

Tall and tan and young and handsome, the boy from Ipanema goes walking and

when he passes, each girl he passes goes, oh.

When he walks, he's like a sandbird that swings so cool and sways so gentle that

when he passes, each girl he passes goes, oh.

I watch him so sadly.

How can I tell him I love him?

Yes, I would give my heart gladly.

But each day when he walks to the sea, he looks straight ahead, not at me.

Tall and tan and young and handsome, the boy from Eponema.

He doesn't see.

But you know that.

Why, Petula?

What you in the sun, pal? I'm trying to sunbathe.

Straight ahead, not at me.

Tall and tan and young and handsome, the boy from Ipanema goes walking and

when he passes, I smile.

But he doesn't sing.

He just doesn't sing.

I hear you're not too happy tonight.

Oh, well, where did you get that idea?

Well, I gather you're not really thrilled about the mood, Mickey.

Oh, the mood? Oh, listen, that's silly. I'm not bothered by that at all.

Yeah, maybe she could teach you how to dance.

Oh, wow, I really like being in your arms.

Yeah, me too.

Why is your mother trying to keep us apart?

I don't know, I'll ask her.

Mother, why are you trying to keep us apart?

I think my nose is too large.

Oh, Phyllis, you're blowing it all out of proportion.

You really can play that piano, Ralph. What's your secret?

Oh, no secret. I just practice a lot. Uh -huh.

Well, so much for the practice makes perfect theory.

And what is this doing in there?

Well, that's the piano tuner.

That should be okay now.

I'll pay you tomorrow.

I don't believe it. You pay a fish?

Yeah, but not much. He works for scale.

I think we better do our number, Ralph.

You make me smile.

You make me sing.

You make me feel good.

You bring me up when I am down.

This only happens when you're around.

And I can't go on this way with it getting

stronger every day.

And yet being too shy to say

Want to fly away with you until there's

nothing left to do.

I want to be more than a friend until the

end.

That's what Rue LeClerc can carry a tune.

Yeah, she's got to do better than that tonight. She's got to carry the whole

show. Hi.

Hello, yourself.

Remember me, Mickey Moose?

How can I forget?

Don't have to get touchy about it.

Excuse me.

Perchance, have you seen a Mickey Moose around?

Who wants to know?

Ronald. Ronald Duck.

Ronald Duck and Mickey Moose? Would you guys get out of here?

Come on. Out. Out. Out. And now,

Veterinarian's Hospital.

The continuing storm.

River Quack, who's gone to the dark.

Hey, nurse, how's this next patient?

Oh, not groovy, Dr. Bob.

You better hurry, though. He's slipping fast.

Oh, maybe he's got slipping sickness.

No, no,

he must have something else.

He better have money, for one thing.

You won't operate till you're paid?

Right. I don't make a cut till I... Take my cut.

Dr. Bob, the patient is sinking fast.

She is sinking.

Quick, quick, Dr. Bob. I don't understand it. Quick, Dr.

Bob. Quick what?

Quick send.

I don't understand that either.

Hey, I can't see a thing down here.

Give me a hypodermic needle.

What for?

Just a shot in the dark.

when we come to the end of Veterinarian's Hospital.

Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr.

Bob say... At least I won't have to declare this on my income tax.

Why not?

I got paid under the table.

I wish they had done that differently.

How would you want them to do it? Better.

Good,

good, chocolate.

Fingers behind the chocolate on the moose.

Hey,

wait a minute, wait a minute. It's enough. Stop hurting Pat.

Hey, Papua, have you seen the set for your closing number?

No, Scooter, I haven't. What's it like?

Oh, it's sensational.

Yeah, it's a fountain with real water.

Yeah, and it's 15 feet high. And it's made of real glass.

Glass? Yeah, it's the prettiest thing in the world. Hey, will you get that moose

on?

Cancel the fountain.

Miss Fleck, there's been a little bit of trouble. Yes, I know. Well, look, it

doesn't matter. Look, we can do without the fountain anyway. Those flowers, that

lovely big spray of flowers, that'll be perfect.

Oh, well, about those flowers.

Yes? The moose ate them.

All right.

Well, it doesn't matter. We don't really need all that fancy decor. It's the

kind of sun that will work anywhere. Believe me, it'll be okay.

Well, really?

Yeah. The sun will come out tomorrow.

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun.

Just thinking about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs

and the sorrow till there's none.

When I'm stuck with a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my

chin.

my chin!

I loved all the acts. I think the Muppets are fabulous, and I'm crazy

moose. Now, that's my kind of woman.

Tomorrow at 7 on The Muppet Show, Bob Hope guest stars alongside the Flying

Zucchini Muppet Brothers to open the show.

Coming up next on Happy Days, Richie wants tickets to see Fish in the Fin

by real -life band Slash Cadillac and the Continental Kids.

All right, Frog, we watch the show!

Yeah!