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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s02e09 - Rich Little

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,999 Rich Little? 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000 Oh, Rich Little? 3 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:05,260 Forty -five seconds to curtain, Mr. Little. 4 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:06,600 Ah, yeah, yeah. 5 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,840 God forbid, I'll send for a shepherd. 6 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,380 There seems to be a pig in my dressing room. 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,420 Gee, that was W .C. Fields. 8 00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:21,780 Where's Rich Little? 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:31,770 Of all the gin joints and all the... Towns and all the world had to walk into 10 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,950 this infested hole. 11 00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:37,270 Here's looking at... at you, Ken. 12 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,810 Wow, Humphrey Bogart. 13 00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:46,290 But where's Rich Little? 14 00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:51,330 I'll be ready, Scooter Little, buddy. 15 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:57,370 Boy, Rich Little does impressions of everybody. 16 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,260 It's time to put on makeup. 17 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,220 It's time to dress up right. 18 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,440 It's time to get things started. 19 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,160 I've seen enough. Let's leave. 20 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,680 It's time to get things started. 21 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,040 We tried to book every internationally known superstar in the world to appear 22 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,820 our stage at the same time. 23 00:02:09,139 --> 00:02:10,259 They couldn't make it. 24 00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:13,360 You know, babysitting problems and stuff like that, I guess. 25 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,280 Actually, we did get one star, and he's enough because he can become all of the 26 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,079 other ones. 27 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,800 Naturally, I'm referring to the master impressionist, Mr. Rich Little. 28 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:26,420 But before we see him, how about a little chanson d 'amour? 29 00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:20,630 Peace. 30 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,610 they just bombed again. 31 00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,870 Hey, very sensitive, Crazy Harry. 32 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:02,050 You certainly have a way with a lyric. 33 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:08,210 Hey, Kermit. Kermit, have you seen any chickens around here today? 34 00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:12,470 Chickens? Uh, Gonzo, why would there be any chickens around here? Well, I'm 35 00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:16,750 auditioning for my new dancing chicken act. It's gonna be sensational. 36 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:22,130 A dancing chicken act? Gonzo, I've never heard of anything as ridiculous as a 37 00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,130 dancing chicken. 38 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,520 of talking frog. 39 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:28,780 Don't be wise, Gonzo. 40 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,260 Well, look, I advertise for dancing chickens in the paper, so the minute 41 00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:36,040 show up, just send them back to the prop room, okay? 42 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,940 Yeah. Thank you. Sure, send the chickens to the prop room. 43 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,300 Add in the paper. 44 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,520 Chickens can't read. 45 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:44,440 Frogs, yes, but chickens never... Yeah, 46 00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:50,480 well, the prop room is down there. It's the second door on your left, sir. 47 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720 Or madam. 48 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,820 Thank you. It's great to be here. 49 00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:15,020 I'd like to start out this evening by doing my impression of truly one of the 50 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,560 great comedians of our time. 51 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:31,500 It's great to see you happy folks, because I'm the bear with the snappy 52 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,940 Terrific. Just great. Yeah, the voice is perfect. 53 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,160 And the jokes are... 54 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:44,840 I'm down here pretending to be a bear. 55 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,280 They're up there pretending to be alive. 56 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,140 Very good. 57 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,800 Yeah, but watch it, Rich. You'll blow the impression by being funny. 58 00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:57,880 You mean you're not impressed with these impressions? 59 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,000 Was that you or him? 60 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,560 I couldn't tell. 61 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,980 This guy's good. 62 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,840 But let me tell you, folks. 63 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,740 A funny thing happened on the way to the theater. 64 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,300 I'm coming through a crowd at the stage door. 65 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,930 Don't tell me I know. 66 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,170 I'm back home. 67 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:21,190 Nothing, girl. 68 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:22,670 All right, Jack Benny. 69 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:24,830 Will you get out of here? 70 00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:29,370 Sorry for the interruption, folks. 71 00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:33,370 Kermit the Frog here, and we've got a really great show lined up for you 72 00:06:33,370 --> 00:06:38,110 featuring Gonzo and the Flying Cheese plus the state of New Jersey. 73 00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:41,890 Oh, look who's here. 74 00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,130 Fridge, it's you. 75 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,690 in the dressing room and I heard you on stage and for a second I thought I had 76 00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:47,690 grown a new me. 77 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:52,890 Hello. 78 00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:54,510 Hello. Hello. Hello. 79 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:56,430 Hello. Hello. 80 00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:57,970 Hello. Hello. Hello. 81 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,760 That was Rich Little here, wasn't it, Rich? 82 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,640 Hey, no, it wasn't me. I just got here myself. 83 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,700 I thought so, swamp face! 84 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,100 Hey, 85 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:28,760 watch what you do to my frog -baking hips! 86 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,040 Oh, 87 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,400 what a performance. 88 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:38,360 Yeah, and what a finish. Right into the orchestra pit. Hey, good old Rich 89 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,240 Little. Who else can do impressions and break a piano in two with his head? 90 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:47,240 Who's next? Come on in. 91 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:48,560 All right. 92 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:53,820 We're auditioning here for a new dancing chicken act. So naturally, I want to 93 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:54,619 see a hoof. 94 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,620 Get it, Ralph. 95 00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:00,120 Okay, can you do a little time step? 96 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,380 No, 97 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,500 you can't do a little time step. 98 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,760 How about the turkey trot? 99 00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:17,790 us over here. Come on. 100 00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:24,850 One, two, three, four, please do something. 101 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:35,010 Okay, don't call us. We'll call you. 102 00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:37,010 Nice legs, though. 103 00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:53,150 Dancing is good for you. Then it can add ten years to your life. 104 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,530 I believe it. 105 00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:57,010 Dancing with you, I've aged ten years. 106 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,230 Tell me if I'm holding you too tight. 107 00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:07,170 I say, tell me. 108 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,500 Okay. 109 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:06,990 come over over from the country where we do things big 110 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,830 and amongst the boys 111 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:38,920 We'll be right back. 112 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,200 I came right here first. 113 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,630 Thank you. 114 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:16,710 Ta -da. Ta -da. 115 00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:32,350 who want to interview me. Yes, that's right, Mr. Little. I just want you to 116 00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:35,330 now that we are all professional journalists. We won't ask you to do any 117 00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:36,930 impressions. You can just be yourself. 118 00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,770 Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. 119 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,370 Mr. Little, I have a two -part question. 120 00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:46,790 One, how long did it take you to work up an impression? 121 00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:50,450 Two, would you answer as Terry Grant? 122 00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:54,210 Listen, we weren't going to ask him to perform. 123 00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:58,760 Thank you very much, Matt. 124 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,040 I really appreciate that. I really do, yes. Well, to answer the first part of 125 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,780 your question, some come very quickly, like two or three hours, and others take 126 00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:10,740 longer. Now, of course, there are some that I ain't still working on. 127 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,820 You mean like your Cary Grant? 128 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,700 I heard that, Junior. 129 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,200 Another crack out of you and I'll turn your head into a dimple. 130 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,779 and Cary Grant. 131 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:33,940 I know, but I just love Burt Lancaster. 132 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,100 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 133 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,240 You're very kind, miss. Very kind. 134 00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:42,480 Perhaps after this interview, we could go out together, have a little champagne 135 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,660 supper. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 136 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,500 Oh, I think I'm going to faint. 137 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,920 Good grief. 138 00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:53,800 Now, listen, I must apologize for my colleagues here. From now on, there will 139 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,020 no impressions. You can just answer in your own voice. Oh, that'll be fine. 140 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:01,250 Are you doing your own voice now, or are you doing an impression of yourself? 141 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:05,830 No, this is my own voice. I've never learned to do me. 142 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:10,770 Working with all the strange characters on this show must seem like being in a 143 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:11,770 Marx Brothers movie. 144 00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:13,690 That's the nastiest thing I've ever heard. 145 00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:16,090 Why don't you put your teeth in backwards and bite yourself to death? 146 00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:23,850 Has anyone ever objected to you impersonating him? 147 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:29,360 Well, of course, let me say this. 148 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:38,320 To the best of my recollection, I don't think that anybody has ever objected to 149 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,320 me in person. 150 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:46,700 Tell me, Mr. Little, do you have your own favorite impression you like to do? 151 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:52,060 Well, I like to do Jimmy Stewart. 152 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:56,140 Jimmy Stewart's probably my... 153 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,440 Favorite actor. 154 00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:02,320 So one last question, Mr. Little. How does it feel to be on The Muppet Show 155 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,060 all those strange, weird creatures? 156 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:11,520 Oh, I just adore the Muppets. They're so cute and cuddly. 157 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,590 Veterinarian's Hospital. 158 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:33,330 The continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 159 00:17:34,870 --> 00:17:39,570 Nurse! Uh, Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob, are you ready for the next bear? 160 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:43,810 Why, Nurse Piggy, I couldn't have a beer now. I'm about to operate. 161 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,170 No, not beer. 162 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:47,290 Bear. The next patient. 163 00:17:47,690 --> 00:17:48,569 Oh. 164 00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:49,710 Why, so it is. 165 00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:53,370 What seems to be his trouble? He's a little horse. I thought you said he was 166 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:54,990 bear. Not very funny, Dr. 167 00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:56,610 Bob. Yes, it is a little weird. 168 00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,910 Usually you call a small horse a colt. 169 00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:01,570 But that's why he's a little horse. 170 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,390 He's got a colt in the head. Oh, wow. 171 00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:08,190 Hey, in that case, we must try to stabilize his condition. 172 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,750 Oh, wow. How do we do that? 173 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,110 Put him in the stable. 174 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:13,490 But, Dr. 175 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,650 Bob, we're supposed to operate. 176 00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,410 You're right. Hand me the saw. 177 00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:18,770 Saw, Dr. Bob? 178 00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:20,230 Dr. 179 00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:23,390 Bob, even if he is a horse, should you be using the saw? 180 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:25,710 What's the matter? You never heard of a saw horse? 181 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:28,760 And so Dr. 182 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:34,100 Bob has turned to carpentry. Tune in next time when you will hear him say... 183 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,280 Say, I think this is a bear I'm operating on. Why? 184 00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:38,800 Because I'm barely operating. 185 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,300 That was a very cutting remark. 186 00:18:57,550 --> 00:19:01,350 Well, Gonzo, I hate to break this news to you, but the dancing chicken act is 187 00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,350 out. 188 00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:04,790 But, Kermit, why? 189 00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:10,850 Why? Well, somehow, you see, kid, it doesn't fit into the general ambiance of 190 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:14,910 sophistication and classic theater that we try so hard to achieve around here. 191 00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:19,170 Sort of like our next act, Noreyev. Say, Kermit, Noreyev just called and 192 00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:20,170 canceled out. 193 00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:21,610 One of his seals is sick. 194 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,570 Rudolf Nureyev has trained seals? 195 00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:27,370 No, Adolf Nureyev does. 196 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:30,310 Does this mean I can go on? 197 00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:33,670 Well, okay, Gonzo, but this act better not lay an egg. 198 00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:37,170 Stardom is mine! 199 00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:44,950 Thank you, thank you. And now we have a very special treat for you. 200 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:47,630 Actually, it's the only act we've got. 201 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:53,180 The incomparable Gonzo and his dancing chicken, Lolita. 202 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,260 Gonzo and a chicken? 203 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:56,679 Why not? 204 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,060 One chicken, one turkey. 205 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,160 Okay. 206 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,440 Come on, Lolita. Dance. 207 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,020 She makes it look easy, don't she? 208 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,860 comedies of yesterday, as recreated today by our very special guest star, 209 00:20:58,020 --> 00:20:59,020 Rich Little! 210 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:13,420 Sing it in the rain, just sing it in the rain, 211 00:21:13,420 --> 00:21:19,680 what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again. 212 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:33,610 in my heart and I'm ready for love. 213 00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:40,610 Got to show me how to chase everyone from the face. 214 00:21:41,630 --> 00:21:47,690 Come on with the rain and smile on my face. 215 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:54,390 Walk down the lane with a happy refrain. 216 00:21:54,870 --> 00:21:56,410 Just singing. 217 00:21:56,830 --> 00:21:58,230 Just singing. 218 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,960 Yeah, all right. 219 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:05,560 All blue -eyed with back. 220 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,060 Oh, yeah? Well, that's all green -eyed. 221 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:17,000 I have heard among this clan you are called the Forgotten Man. 222 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:23,080 Well, did you ever. What a swell party this is. 223 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:24,360 Sing it, Bing. 224 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,720 Have you heard. 225 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:31,000 about did Blanche got run down by an avalanche. 226 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:37,040 Well, did you ever what a swell party this is. 227 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,320 Have you heard of Professor Munch? 228 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,060 Yes, I believe he ate his wife and divorced his wife. 229 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:49,860 Well, did you ever what a swell party this is. 230 00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:54,980 I can remember everything that were yesterday. 231 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,600 Oh, so, Can I, Maurice? 232 00:22:57,140 --> 00:22:58,740 We met at nine. 233 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,780 We met at eight. 234 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,660 I was on time. 235 00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:04,480 No, you were late. 236 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:05,940 Ah, yes. 237 00:23:06,380 --> 00:23:09,400 I remember it well. 238 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:14,580 We dined with friends. We dined alone. 239 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,240 A tenor sang. 240 00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:18,040 A baritone. 241 00:23:19,740 --> 00:23:22,740 I remember it well. 242 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,440 For a gown of gold. 243 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,080 I was all in blue. 244 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:33,300 Am I getting old? 245 00:24:12,620 --> 00:24:14,400 Our very special guest, our Mr. Rich Little. 246 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,340 Thank you, Colonel. 247 00:24:18,580 --> 00:24:21,780 Hey, I've been backstage listening, and I think I've perfected another 248 00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:24,400 impression of a Muppet star. Oh, yeah? Well, let's hear it. 249 00:25:12,750 --> 00:25:14,530 I never want to go through that again. 250 00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:15,730 What, the Muppet Show? 251 00:25:15,870 --> 00:25:17,250 No, the War of 1812. 18018