Original subtitles

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, a cuteness special!

Bean Bunny, that's me, a rabbit and his whistle!

Ha ha!

Oh good, something cute to start our show!

You betcha! Digit! Yes!

Hit it! Oh, hit it!

I, uh, think that's all the garbage we've got. Kermit?

Um, Kermit?

When you said hit it just now, were you not referring to the trash eject button?

Did you in fact mean cue the opening title sequence?

Oh, you should have said something.

Ta -da!

and welcome to our show.

What's that, nacho corn chips?

You're going to spoil your appetite that way.

Later in the show, we're going to return to the magical world of the storyteller

and the tale of Sapsaro.

That night, the second wall, beauties come and beauties go. Dance is a dance,

but the prince dance alone.

But before that, Kermit is visited by country and western singer Katie Lang.

Kermit, what else do you have for us? Well, for one thing, I've got garbage.

Actually, we prefer the term previously essential material.

The Jim Henson Hour will return after these messages.

from somewhere.

Hey, you're a moped.

I watch you all the time. Hey, listen,

if I have to be surrounded by talking garbage, okay, but will you guys just

to stay out of the way because I got a TV show to put on here.

Demographic alert.

Ratings crisis. Bad reaction from the preteen females.

What, little girls don't like garbage?

Like garbage?

Well, we can bring them back with Spot That Blemish on Monitor 7.

Well, Waldo, I'm a little busy right now, okay?

Hey, Digit, are we standing by with the Conspicuous Consumption Channel?

Yeah!

Civil graphics don't include you guys.

Why not? We've got plenty of disposable ends.

Bootsy in her new yellow dress.

Brad will just love you in this, Bootsy.

This new party dress is fabulous.

But when Brad sees me in my new...

ever wonder what it would be like if we were married?

Well, sure, Bootsy. I've thought about it.

I know what.

Let's pretend we're married.

Sure thing, Bootsy. What do I do?

You just came home from a hard day's work.

Go out and come in again.

What a nutty chick.

Okay, Bootsy. Here goes.

I worked in the office and say, when I come home from work, I like to put up my

feet and relax.

Would hubby like something to drink?

I think I'll have a club soda with a twist of lime.

Here's your drink, Brad.

How's everything, hubby?

Well, you forgot the lime.

Oh, thanks.

Cheers.

That's honest refreshment, honey.

What did you do all day?

I bought this cute little party dress.

And I bought this cute little purse.

Tomorrow, I'll buy a cute little car.

Hey, watch out, honey. You're spending all my money.

No, I'll use my own money.

I'm going to get a job as a oil sheik. Oh, wow, what a kooky girl.

How about some fun in the sun, Bootsy?

Beach, anyone?

off my new party dress and put on my new footsie swimsuit. Go right ahead.

Okay. Turn around.

Why should I?

Because we're not really married. You can't watch me change my clothes.

Maybe. Yep, bro.

I mean, would you ever think about... Stop that, Freddy. You'll get slobber

over Bootsy.

Darn. Just when things are starting to get steamy.

Bootsy's no fun when she's covered in dog slobber.

Good premise. Not enough garbage.

Hey, all about a year. We got Billy Joe dump...

I've never heard of that. Welcome to America.

But very soon, the world will be ours, fellow baggies. The

garbage. Our lives are no longer a waste of time.

For this is the time of wage.

Kermit, the garbage is revolting.

Don't go for the cheap ones, Kermit.

Listen, the guest car number is coming up.

anything to get rid of all this garbage.

Anything? Under $100.

Okay, leave it to me.

Digit, punch up the guest chart channel.

And now, if you'll just put your hands together and welcome one of the great

stars of country music, Katie Lang.

Oh, they won't forget around that dance floor.

Make my head go spinning round.

Dance me over by that bandstand.

Because I love that twin fiddle sound when we're dancing close.

Cheek to cheek, my head gets loose and my knees get weak. Watch

me over that bandstand.

A three.

That moose.

Oh, you see that garbage over there?

Garbage? What the Sam Hill? Tie a knot in its limb. 20 bucks is 20 bucks. All

right, let's move him out.

It's indeedy.

So are these guys great or what, huh? Huh, Kerm? Now, about that 120, you got

the cash on you? Uh, Leon, I said 100.

What? Well, it says here in this contract, Kerm.

I never signed any contract. That contract is garbage.

You called for garbage, Frog?

I don't believe it. Trampled by a herd of garbage.

A herd of garbage?

Of course I heard of garbage.

No, no, no. The garbage herd.

I don't care what the garbage herd.

Being Bunny knows no shame.

What this show needs is some good, clean fun.

Oh, look. It's Katie Lang again.

You're the singer? Yes.

Sing this. Sing it, sing it. Yeah. What is this? Oh, we call it trash punk.

Yeah, it's kind of a fusion. Yeah, yeah. But never mind. Just sing it. Go on,

sing it. I love trash.

Yeah. Sing it.

Sing it.

I love trash.

Anything dirty or dingy or dusty.

Anything rag.

Listen to this.

I have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn.

Yeah, it's awful old and the laces are torn.

I'm a strong advocate of solid waste management. I

don't

know. It's still not right.

Excuse me.

There was a time when taking out the garbage was a simple idea.

Are we having a party?

Could you introduce me to the flies? Is there going to be a...

Oh, no!

The woodland setting you wanted is on monitor two, Kermit. And I've put an end

to the garbage bag invasion.

Oh, that's it. Now I'm getting serious.

Digit! I need a break. Did he say monitor two?

Oh, don't worry, Kermit. I'll find it.

Ah,

that's more like it. Hey, quiet forest blade.

Oh, the wonders of technology.

From grunge to green.

Funny how color can make all the difference.

In fact, you know, there's a really old, wonderful story about that.

Hey, gather around, everybody.

Now, way back at the beginning of things, pretty much when the world

the birds were just one color.

Great. What are you doing here?

The Antarctic Odyssey is over on Monitor 5.

Anyway,

life was real monochromatic.

Until one day, the cockatoo made an amazing discovery.

You see, he was on his way back to his nest when all of a sudden... Ah!

Woo! What is that?

Better take a closer look.

Whoa, I think I'm on to something here.

Say, everybody, look at me. Look what I found.

Look at that. That looks great.

The news spread far and wide, but not quite far enough.

It didn't reach deep into the woods where the nightingale was trying his

find a voice for himself.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Hmm.

Nope, nope. Maybe if I go higher at the end.

Hi.

Hi, what you doing? Listen.

What do you think?

It's fine if you're calling a dog. Aw, thanks for the encouragement, bird.

Don't call me that.

It's your name.

Yeah, well, I don't like it. Why not?

That was Parrot. No, Parrot's great, just like us. Oh, well, see you later.

Bye.

Strange.

There's not much paint left, Cardinal, so you'll have to go with all red, okay?

Fair enough. At least they'll see me coming.

Look, Finch, a tiny bit of gold is all I've got left. Yes or no?

Well, I guess gold, Prince, has got a nice ring to it.

Thank you. But I would have been a knockout as future Finch. Future Finch.

wait, wait.

Oh, you're too late.

What?

Sorry, nothing.

They should have called you Cooper Bird.

I guess I'll never be much to look at.

Hey, I think I'm on to something.

It was the most beautiful music the world had ever heard.

The other birds had colors on their wings, but the nightingale had a rainbow

his song.

Just like every nightingale ever since.

Okay, and that's the story.

And now, I think I better hop on out of here.

Well, back to the same old garbage.

We shall wash up on the beaches.

in another part of the forest.

Hi.

You join us at a very exciting moment.

The trail is fresh, and my expert guide, Dr. Emil Lundquist... Shh.

We don't want to startle them.

Dr. Lundquist tells me we're getting very close.

Look. The trail is leading straight to the lair.

Goodness me. There it is.

Yes. The nest of that moose.

Pepsi and the musing of all nature's children, the human.

And what?

Yes, I think they're in luck. Here comes one now.

What a beauty.

It's a male.

How can you tell? The females have bumps.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Is that some kind of a feeding call, doctor?

Exactly.

Oh, and it worked.

Here comes the female with her young.

You will notice they have caught some small white creatures, which they are

stabbing with those pointy tools.

Then they will hold them over those red hot coals until they're dead.

Oh, Dr. Lindquist, I don't want to look at this part. If you're going to study

nature, you have to put up with the ugly along with the cute.

We are in luck.

What you're witnessing here is the seldom seen mating ritual of the human.

Whoa, that's kind of silly for me.

It might look silly to you, but as you can see, the female thinks it's

irresistibly effective.

Mom, Dad, look! There's a raccoon, a bear, and a film crew in the woods!

Oh, what a shame.

We seem to have interrupted the mating ritual.

Ah, that's not good at all.

Yeah, I was really looking forward to that part.

No, it's worse than that.

Oh, a startled human can be very dangerous.

What do you mean?

I mean like that. And with any luck, we'll see you next time

when we'll be looking at waterfowl.

Whoa.

I didn't know bears could talk.

Save your pungent breath, refuse, or I'll incinerate you all with this

flamethrower.

Digit, what are you doing?

Oh, hi, Kermit. This is the...

Singemaster 3000.

I rented it from flamethrowers R .S. Hold him down!

But, Digit, you're going to blow up the whole control room.

Oh, don't worry, Kermit. I checked. We're insured.

Was it vacuums or we?

It's okay. I called a waste management company. They're sending over an expert

right away.

Hi, ladies. I'm from Harris, Thompson & Sludge.

You're the expert?

That's right, my lad.

We specialize in solid waste management. The cutting edge. The ultimate in state

-of -the -art disposal.

Oh, fantastic.

Well, what do you do? We stick the junk on a scow and sail around aimlessly.

That's what you call state -of -the -art disposal?

Well, if you know something better, give me a call.

We are not going anywhere.

Oh, that's where you're wrong, lad. You're going to be the next big... I can

smell it. Yes, you lovely lads will give garbage its voice.

You're hot.

You want a woo.

You want a garbage.

Time to tour.

Tour? You mean like a rock band? Hey, that sounds like fun.

Well, all right. Follow me, lads. Pull aboard.

Okay. I don't think of it so much as losing my garbage as gaining a closing

number.

The life I love is making music with my friends.

I can't wait to get on the road again. Thank you for liking garbage so much

you make happily in tons of it.

Hope you like the show.

I can't wait to get on the road again. You'll be seeing more of us. I can't

to get on the road again.

You'll be seeing us on a piece of news. I can't wait to get on the road again.

Thank you and good night.

I can't wait to get on the road again.

The world.

Well, Kermit, it looks like I rented this vacuum outfit for nothing.

Or almost nothing.

Bean? Bean, can you hear me?

Hi, Corbett.

Oh, good. Everything's back to normal. Digit, cue the last item.

Surprise!

We've been recycled.

Ready for this?

Here you go.

Thanks a lot.

And now here's John Hurt as the storyteller.

Beginning as I do at the beginning, and starting as I must at the start, let me

show you fate through the round of this ring.

The girl whose finger fits this ring, she'll become queen. The law decrees it.

What a lucky girl, you might think.

Oh,

no.

A king had three daughters.

Two were bad, one was good.

Long without a wife, the king's only joy had been the joy of the proud father.

But the girls were growing up. Soon there would be suitors. Soon the palace

would be empty.

I must find myself a wife to comfort me, he thinks.

The wedding ring.

Passed on from queen to queen, finger to finger, since any could remember.

Only when the ring fits can the king marry.

Who wishes to wed our king must come forward and try the ring.

The lucky bride will want for nothing.

She can't do that.

He's too old to be getting married. He ought to be dying shortly.

I don't think he's too old.

What's she whispering all about?

I know what will happen. Some harpy will step forward and the ring will fit and

they'll get married and then he'll die and she'll get everything.

That's what will happen.

The more the sisters sulked at the prospect of a stepmother, the viler they

to snap sorrow their sister.

When their father set off to find his bride, they teased, taunted, and

her. They starved her.

You're too fat, they'd say, stealing from her plate.

They're vile, those sisters.

Indeed. But they reckoned without her friends, the creatures who lived in snap

sorrow's pocket under a bed perched on a chair.

When she went to her room, she'd find berries and all kinds of nuts and

Delicious things.

We bride every night.

Are I in bloodshot? They are, I know. No bride, then? No. The ring was a cruel

shape. None could wear it. Oh, it's fate.

It's not intended.

Perhaps. I don't know. You don't need a wife when you've got a... Don't we love

you enough, Daddy?

I know, I know.

Where's your sister?

Oh, who knows?

Flashing with the guards, stuffing herself.

Hello, Max.

It's bound to fix someone eventually.

How did... I mean, we should be queens, actually.

Together. I know.

I mean, what if the ring were to fit you?

Or me?

Then what?

You try. You've got fat fingers.

I have not.

Well?

And then little Sapsaro does a thing she will long regret.

Obediently she bends and, oh, folly, she stoops and, oh, rash, she picks up the

royal ring and slips it on for safekeeping. What?

I know.

Where's your mother's ring?

Well, she was playing with it, Father. Yes, we didn't want to sneak. I wasn't.

She wasn't. Stay out of it, you.

Little one.

I wasn't. That's not fair.

What's that on your feet?

Oh, no.

Not on your ring finger.

It fits.

It fits.

No sooner done, no sooner said, the news is a fire in the palace, sweeping the

corridors. The ring fits the king's daughter. I cannot marry my father.

You cannot ignore the law.

But we cannot ignore the law.

You cannot marry your father.

But I cannot shame the king.

But you cannot marry your father.

But the ring.

Is the ring. Is the ring.

Sire, it is the law of the land.

The ring fits your child's finger.

You must marry her.

Then I should cut off my finger.

Why did you play with the ring? Why did you tamper with it?

The ceremony, when must it take place?

As soon as the preparations allow.

Then first find me a dress of the palest silk, the colour of the moon.

I will not wed till I have it.

Very well.

We will find this dress.

The princess in her woe plans a plan and schemes a scheme.

To find Dr. Galm will take time, and mean times you must all help me.

Beautiful.

But now I must have one of sparkling silver, like the stars.

For my truth, though.

Sire, where would we find such a dress?

Do as she bids. All in silver, sparkling with stars.

And off again went the king's men, cowering the land with such a dress.

And all the while, in Thapthorough's room, another garment is being made,

marvellous, more magic.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Just like the stars.

Messiah, the council wait on you. Your people grow impatient.

When do you marry?

Daughter. This gown is for the wedding feast.

The first one for the procession.

But now I must have one for the church.

Gold it should be.

Gold as the sun.

Bring me such a dress, and the next day we shall wed.

Gold, she says.

All gold, like the sun.

Bring her such a dress. They shall be married on the morrow.

No!

And while the tailors cut cloth, one with pure gold, that thorough day shut

up in her room.

She never appeared.

Only her creature, flying in.

Flithering out, bitty, bitty, scurrying about.

Princess? Yes?

I have here a dress such as none before has seen.

Of gold, dazzling.

A hundred hands have sewn it.

It is what I asked for.

Very like the sun.

Then we must marry on the morrow.

We must.

We marry.

On the morrow.

They can't. They can't get married.

Well, the law says they must.

And the girl has the three gowns she asked for. Know the ring fence, the

is prepared.

Married on the morrow.

Listen, bells toll, the streets fill.

Only Sapsoro stays silent in her room.

Your Highness, come out.

The king awaits you.

Yes, it's Sapsoro.

A strange thing of fur and feathers. For such has been the secret work of the

past week.

This creature.

There she is, the ill -fated princess.

Hurrying away, her past discarded, her future.

Who knows?

Two years later, a poor creature of fur and feathers tended geese in a king's

garden.

scrubbed the pots in his kitchen. So does the princess.

Princess of slops, yes.

Princess of peelings, perhaps.

Princess of the kitchen floor, certainly.

And one day, this princess meets a prince.

Where's the cook, do you know?

You don't know.

Can you speak?

Never mind.

Give the cook a message, will you?

Tonight there's a great ball at the palace. I've seen the menu and want

added. He knows how I like it. Roast goose with orange, baked in pastry.

What's that look?

It's a look.

If there was a tax on looking, we'd all be beggars.

Sire.

What's your name?

No name.

They call me the straggle tag.

Well, Miss Straggle Tag, you don't stare at princes.

It's not polite in one so low.

One so ugly.

Why eat geese?

They don't harm you.

I happen to like geese.

So do I. That's why I don't eat them.

Pass on my message and take that to your manners.

Roast goose with orange.

A dozen.

That night they sat.

The geese.

Twelve cold glares on the royal table.

While around them many daughters wore their mother's pearl.

And the prince was there, handsome, admired, separate.

Parents looked on and hoped, but the prince stood and smiled, but did not

Until, late, unannounced, mysterious, a woman enters in a daddling gown,

pale silk like the moon.

And what could he do, the prince, but walk towards her? What could he do but

lead her to the floor?

And they danced.

It was meant.

As left to right, morning to night, dark to light, they belonged.

But when the music stops... Wait!

I don't know your name!

Wait! Oh, my dear, the prince is left mystified, excited, tingling.

He's hooked.

Line and thinker.

The prince is sent down for clean towels.

Where is everybody?

Upstairs. They're all busy.

Another ball for soon.

We'll bear the coverage from the last one.

Oi, sing.

You go then.

You sent down for towels?

I hope they're clean.

I'm sorry.

Do I disgust you?

You amaze me.

Look, cats chase mice.

Hens lay eggs.

And what does that mean?

It means some things have to do with other things.

I have nothing to do with you.

You don't disgust me because I don't think about you.

I see.

Now, go away.

And keep below stairs.

Stop gawping!

No, he can't see for the feathers, this prince. He can't see for the fur.

That night, the second wall, beauties come and beauties go. Dance is a dance,

but the prince stands alone, hoping, staring at the great door.

But nothing, no sign.

Then, shh, ah, shh. Then, a dividing of the room, and there she

is, in a dress sparkling with silver, like the stars.

I must go.

No, please.

I think of nothing but you. I find that hard to believe.

It's true.

I can't sleep.

Where do you live? I might find you.

I live where hens catch mice and cats lay eggs. What?

Please let me go.

What's the matter?

What? You look so fat.

No one, no one else in the whole palace, in the whole kingdom speaks to me like

this. Are you in love?

Is that the problem?

You couldn't possibly understand what I'm feeling.

Or are you worried you might only love your sweetheart for her beautiful gowns?

Was she in the humblest rags?

Was she the poorest?

Absolutely.

You see, my darling has eyes like... Yes.

They're perfect. A voice like... It's perfect.

Not her gowns.

Well, how can you possibly understand?

Then you should marry her.

I want to.

I want to, but I can't find her.

I see.

I... I have a problem like yours.

What advice would you give me?

Well, I don't know your beau.

What's he like?

Handsome. Rich.

Really?

Proud. Ah!

You see, when I think about him, it makes my head hurt and my tummy ache

and my skin tingle and my heart do little somersaults. Me too.

Me too.

Oh, yes, we're in love.

And it's terrible.

Oh, I don't think I'm in love. Oh, you're definitely in love.

Little somersaults? Tingling skin?

Definitely.

Stragletag!

Stragletag, where the devil have you got to? I have to go.

Yes, and listen, don't tell anyone we've spoken.

As you wish.

Just, you know, Prince and... Stragletag!

Prince and Stragletag.

Oh, yes. The prince is lovesick, all right.

Even before it's dark, he's there on the terrace in front of the ballroom.

Tonight, he shivers, I'll see my love tonight.

She still hasn't come, and this is the last of them. Could I please have the

dishes? Look at this one.

What's the hurry?

Meeting a sweetheart?

That's why the prince is still waiting.

She hasn't finished the dishes.

It's wonderful.

But bells toll.

Evening's end.

Next day, a proclamation rings out around the palace.

The prince will marry the girl who fits the golden slipper.

Well, she thinks.

What was true of the finger is true of the foot.

She was cursed by the ring.

Can she be blessed with the slipper?

There's a queue now, but it fits nobody.

I might try. You never know.

You? You've got feet like a Yorkshire pudding.

I have not.

And what about our little beauty? Are you going to try?

I might.

So up she goes.

Really? And blow me, who's trying on royal slipper?

I think of a jest. Of a jest.

I've done it. I've done it. It fits.

That's absurd.

It fits.

You're not the one.

I am. It fits. Look.

I claim this handsome prince for my husband.

According to the proclamation...

The prince must marry the woman who can wear the golden slipper. Princess Bad

Sister.

Princess Bad Sister.

From? From far away.

From far away.

Daughter of?

Of nobody.

We have no parents, you see.

Mummy died a long time ago and Daddy died last year. Well, he was ancient.

Princess Bad Sister of far away, daughter of nobody.

She will marry the prince on the morrow.

Off, please.

Why? Well, it doesn't match.

And it's a teensy -weensy bit tight.

Just a pinch.

Ouchie -wouchie.

In fact, I think I may just have to have a tiny baby scream.

Sister, do you think you could possibly help me to take this lovely slipper off

my footsie -wotsie? Because I'm going to have to scream very loudly shortly.

I think my leg is turning a little bit on the maroon side.

It is.

to try the slipper.

Ladies, darling, I think, not creatures. What is it?

Get it out of me. Get rid of it. It's called straggle tag.

So, may I?

Very well.

It fits. It can't.

It does fit.

Will you keep your promise?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

You can't. You can't marry that thing. Yes.

I'll marry you.

I'll keep my promise.

It's you.

Darling, darling, they repeated to each other.

Dearest, dearest.

And what the prince didn't know, he very soon did. They talked and talked,

explaining this and explaining that, stories of rings, stories of fur and

feathers. And they wept for her dear father, smiled for poor Straggletag,

forgave the bad sisters, danced for a day without going away, and...

And, well, after that, they were so out of breath, they lay down and slept. And

glory be, if I don't wake them soon, they'll never get wet.

Now, this trash bag puppet is actually made from a plastic trash bag from a

supermarket. Oh, that's a load of garbage.

Actually, I'm a load of garbage.

That's true, Kirk.

Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time.

Yeah, it's a load of garbage.