All language subtitles for Red Shoe Diaries s04e06 Jump
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1
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This isn't exactly a letter.
2
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It's more like a confession.
3
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You red shoes.
4
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I always had this dream of doing
something really brave.
5
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,240
Stepping out of real life into thin air.
6
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Finally, after years of dreaming about
it, I actually mustered up the nerve to
7
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do it.
8
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And it changed my life forever.
9
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Not the jump, but the courage it took.
10
00:04:02,799 --> 00:04:04,520
Relax. Breathe.
11
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:37,720
Looking down on the ground below, I felt
like I was floating above my whole
12
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life.
13
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:42,140
It suddenly became very clear.
14
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Vivid.
15
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I could feel how unhappy I was.
16
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How frightened.
17
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How resigned.
18
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How much I had compromised.
19
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I need to be the perfect girlfriend.
20
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The perfect soon -to -be stepmother.
21
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And the perfect lover.
22
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The perfect daughter.
23
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And sister and friend.
24
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Perfect.
25
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Beautiful. Show me your favorite part.
26
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It's like I was an actress playing a
role.
27
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Every part.
28
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Every solitary interview.
29
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Acting the way he wanted me to act.
30
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Doing things I would otherwise never do.
31
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Strip teas and champagne shows.
32
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Just going through the motions.
33
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All of it a lie.
34
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Seriously, before the jump, that's the
way my life went.
35
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I could find a reason, no matter how
irrational, not to do anything for me.
36
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Yeah, I was paralyzed, seriously
paralyzed, frightened,
37
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complacent,
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pretending to be something I wasn't.
39
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a message on the machine and I forgot to
call her back.
40
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I'm sorry.
41
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Pretending to be in love.
42
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Pretending to be happy.
43
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Pretending, pretending, pretending.
44
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I'll take it if you stop my name.
45
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,250
Sorry, baby.
46
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I really didn't expect it.
47
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Shh.
48
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Yeah, I love Max. Don't worry.
49
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I know you do.
50
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made love I would squeeze my eyes shut
pretend I was jumping
51
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:04,540
fearless and exhilarated
52
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and I thought about him my instructor
53
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the way he made me feel
54
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safe and brave at the same time
55
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secure
56
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Imagine that. I actually felt happy.
57
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,560
I went back again and again.
58
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,420
I couldn't get enough.
59
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:44,780
Enough of him.
60
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:54,160
With every jump I made, I became a
little braver and a little happier.
61
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,320
No plans.
62
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No future. No pressure.
63
00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:09,610
No right or wrong, just happy.
64
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:20,110
She told me it was her way of feeling
alive.
65
00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,710
And when we talked, we actually talked
to one another.
66
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:44,210
We had it all.
67
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:50,190
Beauty, grace, charm, intelligence.
68
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,150
We were honest.
69
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,550
Totally and completely honest.
70
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:11,670
Of course, the more we saw each other,
71
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,580
The closer we became.
72
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,960
I asked her if she'd let him know what
she was feeling. She said she didn't
73
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:23,960
to hurt him.
74
00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:27,720
But I made it clear to her that I
couldn't save her.
75
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,400
That that was something she'd have to do
herself.
76
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,830
to the place where I felt most brave.
77
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:06,330
You know, I can't believe you're
actually going to be my wife.
78
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:09,610
The man I was about to marry.
79
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,190
You have no idea how good this is for
me.
80
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:18,090
The man I wanted to love, but didn't.
81
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:20,990
I'm taking you someplace.
82
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,110
A special place where we can talk.
83
00:16:27,850 --> 00:16:29,810
A place with nothing but silence.
84
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,430
No kids.
85
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,350
No phones.
86
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,480
I was scared to death, but I did it.
87
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:11,140
And he listened.
88
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,520
He understood.
89
00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:30,380
I knew then that I wasn't escaping my
life, I was finding it.
90
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:44,820
to be my wife.
91
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,460
I'm not going to be anyone's perfect
anything for a long time.
92
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,620
It was like I'd taken all the little
fears and went right to the thing that
93
00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,620
frightened me the most.
94
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:08,960
And once I conquered it, that one big
fear, everything else seemed to
95
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:09,960
fall into play.
96
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:15,680
We became great friends.
97
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,360
My instructor and me.
98
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,380
Lovers, but more importantly, the best
of friends.
99
00:23:25,460 --> 00:23:26,580
Partners of fun.
100
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,640
Do you hear what I said, Red Shoes?
101
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:31,980
Fun.
102
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,320
The biggest miracle of all.
103
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:43,480
Anyway, Red Shoes, if you ever paint
yourself into a corner, Into a place
104
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,820
you can't find your way out.
105
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:48,000
My advice to you is to just shut your
eyes and jump.
106
00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:52,660
I still jump.
107
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,880
Don't? No.
108
00:25:44,750 --> 00:25:45,750
Bye.
7139
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