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Thank you.
Dear Red Shoes, secrets.
There were all kinds of secrets.
I didn't used to think I had any worth keeping.
And certainly not worth sharing.
Adam? Adam?
Adam,
I'm thinking about getting a job.
Sounds good.
Penny was telling me about this job opening that she knows about that a
of hers used to work at.
Anyway, this is for a receptionist. It would only be part -time. An old woman
South Dakota, 110 years old today.
Husband died last year. They've been married for 92 years.
Adam, the house is on fire.
We have a dead body in our basement. We have a special research branch. A bunch
of people sold jobs to locate geese. They're starting a hundred.
Did you know that you have this green, scaly, slimy alien creature in your ear?
What's that?
You have something in your ear.
Hey, hey.
It's just shaving cream.
You know you're the best.
Yeah?
Gary's here.
I gotta go.
All right?
Okay.
My mother told me that marriage was all about compromise and sacrifice.
That for everything you gained, something was lost.
What was lost, Tess?
Your silly little stories and your wild leaps of imagination?
Jesus.
There was so much inside and I used to write it all down.
But now, I don't know where it's all gone.
Why don't you have a seat, okay?
Penny's friend recommended us to you.
Yes. She said she really enjoyed working here.
Did she say what we do here?
Counseling. She said you did phone counseling.
Very innovative.
Have you worked as a receptionist before?
Yeah.
Oh,
yeah. Bravitch Trucking, 1990 to 1992.
That's where I met my husband.
You're married?
Yeah, one year next week.
Great.
Do you love him?
Yeah.
Yes, very much.
Welcome aboard.
Yeah? Yeah.
A bit?
Don't forget your purse.
what I told you about this morning.
I thought we decided that it was best if you didn't work.
Two of us around the house, nothing ever gets done.
There's no time for each other.
I know.
Maybe you would broaden our horizons a little.
The most important thing is we just don't want to keep the customers
just watch the hold buttons and keep the calls rolling over. You never even have
to say a word unless there are calls for me on lines one or two.
Okay.
You sure have a lot of women working for you.
People usually respond better to women than to men.
Women as nurtured, you know.
Yeah,
my husband always says that men would confess more to their priests if their
priests were women.
Why don't you try it?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Rubber again.
Ow!
Hey!
Hey! Come here!
Come here!
Come on! Hey!
Excuse me.
Do you have a minute?
Nadia. You ever heard of me?
Naughty Nadia.
Well, a lot of people have heard of me.
And a lot of people call me. A lot.
And they spend a lot of money for me.
And this morning, they've been spending a lot of time on hold.
I'm sorry.
Do you want to get off on the call?
Do it on your own time.
I've got six kids depending on me.
It's a lot of pressure.
Firstly, I would like to introduce Tess Thomas, our new receptionist.
We're having a problem with our script.
Yeah, it's like this whole orgasm thing, you know?
We get to the climax, and eight times out of ten, the guys hang up. It's as if
they don't care whether we get off.
Just tell them to listen and behave, or you'll bang their little bottom.
Nadia, this is Lesbo Licks, not Mother May I.
Well, it's in the seduction, not the act, isn't it?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
No, Tess, go on.
You're a woman, a happily married woman.
Certainly you know something about what turns a man on.
Go on.
I mean, it's all about creating a fantasy, right?
Like...
Like maybe he's your neighbor and he comes over to borrow a cup of sugar.
And maybe you're wearing really thin white nightgowns. I mean, like so thin
you can see the curves in your body.
And maybe you're rubbing lotion on each other and you ask him if he wants to
join in.
Do you want to help us with our script?
I couldn't. I don't know.
Go ahead. I'll pay you for it.
Maybe in a week or two we'll give you your own line.
No. Thank you. But I don't know about all the games that you all play.
Oh, just try it for a while.
I'm Lana.
Hi, Lana.
What's it going to be?
It's $100 for a blowjob.
$200 for straight sex.
And 300 for anything kinky.
Oh, yes.
We are having a sale tonight.
The Friday night special.
It's only $2 .75.
It's a steal.
Good choice.
Cashmere.
Yeah, what?
Last night.
You're the best.
Yeah, you liked it?
Oh.
So you like the new job?
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
It's interesting.
I'm learning a lot.
Good.
Good.
I gotta go.
What do you mean?
Whistling, singing, smiling.
You getting some?
Yeah, I'm getting some.
She likes young, blonde.
Yes, man, my wife.
You're having great sex with your wife?
Yeah. I don't know what got into her, but suddenly she was into all these
like fantasy, you know, dressing up.
It's fucking amazing.
You said this stuff just started up?
Yeah. No prior warnings?
Just suddenly?
Well, I'm sure I'm wrong.
Forget it.
Wrong about what? What are you talking about?
Well, a few years back, Barb got into anal sex.
Just like that.
One night.
That's what she wanted.
And I'm talking all she wanted.
Never wanted it before.
Never mentioned it.
Found out a couple of weeks later she was having an affair with her pottery
teacher. He turned her on to it.
service. Stay on the line and one of our beautiful operators will personally
assist.
Hi, welcome to Lilac, the ultimate pleasure point where all your wild and
secret fantasies will come true.
Hi, baby.
What's wrong? You okay?
How about I count to three, and when I get to three,
you tell me what's wrong.
You know, like we used to do.
One, two... Why didn't you tell me about your job?
I did. I tried to.
Just didn't really seem to want to hear about it. Bullshit!
Bullshit! Bullshit! That's complete and total bullshit. You didn't tell me
because you knew I'd go ballistic.
Tomorrow morning, first thing, you go in there and you tell them you quit.
Bullshit.
When we got married, we had an agreement we would never tell each other what to
do.
Right?
Right, but this is different.
How?
Because it's just out of bounds, that's all.
Oh, and what's been going on between us, that's been out of bounds. I didn't say
that. Yes, you did.
But you're my wife.
Right.
And I'm crazy about you.
I love you.
And when I'm happy, I think that, you know, I can make you happy.
I like all this, you know, the fantasies and coming home and being
somebody new and you being somebody new.
Before I took the job, I mean, I had no idea that people do this kind of stuff.
Just be selfishness.
I just think that maybe you should just think about it for a while.
Angela could not remember when the change began, or why, or how.
Fight or flight, these were Angela's options.
And as she saw him standing in the half -light, the tone and glow of his skin,
the wonder of her in his eyes, she knew she would fight.
She reached out for him.
to touch the perfection of familiar flesh, her hands tracing the topography
his body, hoping that she would find new territory yet to be revealed,
some new landmark by which they both could reset their compass.
I would bring a little peace offering.
I don't know if this is going to work.
I don't know either.
You know, I can't promise that I can be the person you need me to be.
God damn it, Tess, I don't like that you're not at home.
I don't like that you work here with a bunch of...
women who talk dirty to strangers on the phone.
But I'll try and understand.
Hey. It's our anniversary today.
I know.
I thought maybe we could pretend we're husband and wife.
I thought that in order to grow in myself, I had to grow away from Adam.
But we learned we could grow together if we wanted.
That life was still a mystery and a surprise.
That we were and are familiar strangers.
Tess.
You wouldn't keep secrets from me, would you, Stella?
You got the power of control over me.
You got my heart in your hands.
You know so many ways to satisfy me.
My body.
You're coming.
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