Original subtitles

Previously on Real Husbands of Hollywood.

Hey, JB. How you doing, man? Good seeing you, man. You good, baby? I'm good,

man. So what can I do for you?

Got an award right there.

BET award.

Think like a man.

It's my award.

I deserve it.

Don't you have like two lines?

I'm on my way, Oliver.

Get your ass out of the way.

You going home with me?

You tell Kevin.

This award is mine, and he ain't getting it back.

I'll tell him that. You tell him that. Here's how the damn speech should have

went. First of all, give an honor to God.

Money earning, my Bernie. Your prince is better than BET Award for Think Like a

Man Home.

BET, I love you.

Woo!

It's your award, man.

What'd you do, Oliver?

I gave you your award. And look, I'll put it to you this way.

No one's ever going to take that award from you.

It's stuck in my thighs, Oliver. I'm going to kick your ass, Oliver.

I'll catch that in a year.

That's your award, man.

Congratulations.

I'm getting low.

Oh, my God, look at him today.

Out the front seat, baby. I'm riding shotgun. You're in the back. Hey, man,

get an extra mulligan for you wearing that outfit.

There it is. You're old school today. Come on, let's go.

I didn't know Barney played golf either.

Oh, look at you, cotton candy.

Whoa, what's this?

If you don't want these pictures to pop up on TMZ.

Whoa. Oh, my God. Whoa, no, no, no.

What is this, man? Come to the poker spot now.

Poker spot.

There's only one poker spot.

Oh, man, come on, man. Here we go again, man. Here we go.

Come on, man. No, no, no. Get in the back. Come on. No, I can't sit in the

No.

Strong, skinny mother. Oh, I threw up in the back. Kevin apparently dug up some

old photos from Nick Cannon's No Cameras Allowed Bachelor Blowout in Vegas five

years ago.

Good thing they're just coming out now.

Actually, it's not good at all.

Hey, hey, guys.

Kev's not here, but I'm going to tell him that you stopped by. Oh, yeah.

Guys, guys, guys.

Get your little ass down here right now.

First of all, can we get an inside voice? Can we lower it a little bit?

voice. Lower his voice.

Lower his voice.

Kev's not here.

Then why would he tell us to meet him here? I don't know what you're talking

about, sir. Wait, wait, wait. What did you just call me? Nothing. Don't ever

call me that. Don't you ever call him sir like that. Don't call him that.

What about the text message, huh? Uh, what text?

Nobody's out back.

Nobody's out back. What?

Move, houseboy. The pool's out back.

Kevin?

Hey, guys.

I knew you were lying, Oliver. Kevin's on a plane. Why is Jennifer here? Hey,

baby girl. Hey, Teddy.

Daddy? Okay, stop right there before your mind starts racing to the gutter.

Okay, that's Jennifer Freeman, and she called me Daddy because Tisha played her

mom in My Wife and Kids, okay? So technically, she is my TV stepdaughter

-in -law -ish.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Simple. I'm with Oliver.

Who?

What? Oliver.

Are you serious?

Hey. Oh, that was so fake. That was terrible.

Did you see that? Uh -uh.

Anyone care for any fresh lemonade?

Yeah, sure. No lemonade.

It's just ours, babe. Put it right here.

Hey, put me a glass of what the hell you're doing with Oliver.

Very funny. Very funny. Guys, the more I think about it, this whole thing just

doesn't feel like Kevin. No, no, no. That feels exactly like Kevin. No, no,

Be right.

Be right.

Kevin's a weird little dude. Yep. But this, it's different. It's crazy.

It's calculating.

It's wild. It's wild. Because he's jealous. He's jealous about semi -happy

marriages. Semi -happy? And he wants us to be like him.

Divorced. Semi, speak for yourself. Me and my baby, we happy, man. Look, I'm

happy in the dictionary.

It's a picture of me and my baby like this right here.

That's your happy face? Yeah, it's like more of a seductive happy.

What's your leaving face?

Shut your ass up, all of us said!

Are you still here? Yes.

Me and my baby are happy because I know how to lie.

When she asked him, do I look fat in this dress? I said, baby, fat is new

skinny. And you skinny as hell.

I'm a lion king.

Anybody got a good jeweler?

Hey, I use Kobe's guy. You know what?

He might give us a group rate. Man, my lady don't care about no damn trinkets,

man. When she sees those photos, she's going to take all my shiggity. Well,

thank God you ain't got much shiggity.

And B, you're protected because you got that prenup I told you to get.

She didn't sign that prenup.

What? What?

She didn't sign it? Are you nuts?

Man, black women don't believe in prenups, man. Right, Jennifer?

No. It says all of her thing works out. He'll be signing one. Right, baby?

Yes. I'm signing now. I got pre -prenup. See, that's all you have to do, man.

Marriage is a business proposition.

He's right, JB.

Boris don't have a prenup either. Who's going to leave me?

But look, I don't know what Kevin is up to, but I'm not going to stick around to

see. We got time to make our tea time, guys.

Now what?

Why do you guys think women are such villains?

Just tell your wives the truth. The truth shall set you free.

Yeah, not when you're married.

Guys, there's someone here to see you.

You're Mitch's so long to riches, you're about to lose your gals. You've been

some lying fools, breaking all the friendship rules.

If you refuse me, Mitch's, you'll lose three wives and you'll be alone because

they'll take your money and your home.

Let's cut the crap, Mitch's, and get on with the show.

Yeah.

What the hell is this?

I don't know. I'm just the messenger.

Swag.

Open it up, B.

No, no.

that thing up, man. Kevin might have rigged it. That's true. Oliver, open it

I ain't opening that. Open it up. Oliver, stop playing around.

Come on. You guys are bitches. I'll open it.

Okay. It's okay.

What is it?

It says, turn me on.

Oh, that's my job.

Get out of here. Get out of here. Y 'all are haters.

Hello, gentlemen.

Wow.

Kevin's a trip, man.

Where's Kevin?

Kevin? We didn't cut the games. We know it's you, Kevin. Stop playing around,

man. Games happen.

gun yet.

Why are you doing this?

Hey, I'm asking the questions here. No, we're asking the damn questions, boo

-boo bear.

Boys, smack JB.

I'm not going to smack him. Are you going to slap me up in here? Look, you

five seconds to smack him or I'm sending these pictures.

Well, you better start counting. I'll help you.

Five, four.

Smack him, B. I'm not going to smack him. Are you crazy?

Aren't we all just a little crazy?

Get the kids from my wife and kids out of here. Get her out of here.

I'm going to call Damon Wade. I'm going to get her out of here. Get out of here.

What happened?

What happened to her?

Focus. Come on.

Okay, look, look, look. We're here.

We're here. We're right here.

First challenge.

We're going to play zap poker.

What is zap poker?

Lose a hand and you'll find out. Kevin, what are you talking about? Lose a hand?

What are you talking about?

Hello,

my taser. It's not a laser. It's going to zap that ass.

It's going to pry your eyes.

Fellas, this has officially gotten weird.

That's a taser.

What are you doing, Kevin? You are a sick little man.

I'm not going to sit here and play your twisted, weird games anymore.

Fine. I'll just send these off to TNG.

You mean TMZ, stupid ass?

No, I mean Tisha, Nicole, and I got to Google your wife's name.

Well, if he doesn't know my wife's name, he doesn't know her email.

Why are you doing this, Kevin?

You better one day.

You don't recharge your own damn battery?

What kind of lazy -ass blackmail is this?

My neck.

Oh, come on, man.

What do you want from us?

I want you to shut the hell up and tip the senior telegram guy.

Dude, it's killing me, man.

Here. I've been singing all day. Can I have a glass of water, please?

Thank you. Want ice for that?

Yeah. There you go.

Stupid ass.

I'm going out there naked.

Nope. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it either. I got extra skin. You do it. I

ain't got to do it. My body ain't in shape for this. You're half naked. I'm

definitely not doing it.

I'm going out there. No, hell no. I ain't going out there. I ain't going out

there. Guys.

Guys. My body was made for that.

Why do you feel shiny, man?

Why do you got so much oil?

What's up with that dog, B?

What if the dog bites your Johnson, man?

Hey,

ladies.

Going for a stroll?

Okay. Look at the charm on this guy.

Guys, got the package.

Both of them. Come on, man.

Good. Cover the small one.

What we got here?

A puzzle.

Ooh, I love puzzles.

You got ten minutes to complete the puzzle.

And if you don't... You'll send the photos to TMZ. You know what? Do it.

got worse.

Tired of your stupid games, Bear.

Fine by me.

Let's just see how Tisha likes these pictures.

Especially...

Yeah,

I signed a prenup.

Okay? But I got a sunset provision, which means I'm fully vested,

and in five years, I get a third.

That's the wrong spot. Over there. Right there.

Come on.

Okay, so let's put it in.

Man, I'm so sorry for this. It's okay, it's no problem. This is just not how I

envisioned our journey. I love solving puzzles. It excites me.

Really? What?

Can't do anything without kissing?

It's a crown.

It's a crown. He's got it.

Well, this obviously symbolizes how he envisions himself.

As an all -powerful and not -so -benevolent king.

Hey, where'd he go?

Where'd he go, y 'all?

The king is here. What does it mean? The king is here. Hey, look.

There's someone outside.

Is that Finn?

What it do, Mitches? You're the Mitch! You're Mitch!

You're the damn Mitch up in here! You Mitches all day, all y 'all Mitches. You

behind all this?

Damn right I am. Why, Finn?

Because I wanted to humiliate y 'all like y 'all did one of the kings.

How did we humiliate you, Cedric?

Really, boys?

You don't remember at Nick Cannon's bachelor party like four years ago?

Yeah. We all had a great time, and you were saying that, man. What are you

through, Seth?

Look, man, y 'all said I could be a part of the group. Nobody said nothing like

that. That's what it's all about. Y 'all said y 'all was going to call me. You

never did. Really?

Do I get to play golf, JB? You don't play golf. No, I do play golf, boys. I

play golf. You can't play golf. Do I get invited to the Lakers games? No.

You don't like the Lakers, man. I kind of like the Lakers. What? Y 'all don't

know what it's like.

They have to sit around your house all the time with your wife and kids and two

little bitty dogs and your mother -in -law, sister -in -law, and the dude she

date every now and then.

It's like I'm on hard knocks and I can't get cut even if I had butter, mother.

Damn, Sid, you have no friends at all?

I mean, you know, Steve Harvey got a lot of...

shows and stuff he's doing. He's busy. He's got a lot of suits and stuff. And

then DL, he all political now. He asks me if I'm left wing, right wing.

I'm like, I don't know. I like sandwiches.

Don't buy no damn wings.

The only friend I got is my wife.

Do you know what it means when your wife is your best friend? That means you

ain't got no damn friends.

It was Kevin.

Kevin didn't want anybody in the group funnier than him, okay? There you have

it. What's funny, Kevin?

Would you shut up? I'm trying to calm down the lunatic over here. All right. I

thought it was because he shot Faison.

I didn't shoot Faison. It was an accident.

I mean, it was only a flesh wound.

Hey, you shoot Faison.

Every wound is a flesh wound. That's true.

Because I shot him. He didn't even know he was shot until the next Thursday.

He was like, dude.

Hey, you guys are ridiculous.

Hey, you guys think women are crazy?

You guys are like basketball wives with balls.

I don't want them infecting you.

Yeah, same.

Really, dude? What does Jennifer do with that dude? He told her he was a wins.

Hey, you got tea time, y 'all. Tea time. Whoa, whoa.

Where y 'all think y 'all going?

We're going to play golf.

Oh, can I come? Hell no. Hell no. We can't have a bear. No bears.

Stop, guys.

Stop right there.

Because I'll still sing this out.

Yeah.

Give me that.

Seriously.

The game is over. The game is over when the king says it's over. Wow.

Listen, you know, being a king of comedy is not like being a real king. Like the

most you can do is make people laugh.

Never mind.

What you got?

Cinnamon challenge.

Look,

if either one of you can swallow this and hold it down for 30 seconds, I'll

delete the pictures and I'll let all of you go. I'll just disappear.

Come on.

JP, don't do it. Look, I saw it on the internet. It doesn't end well.

I eat like 12 cinnamon buns every day. That's not the same.

I got this. Here's your spoon right here. Load it up.

Yeah, buddy. Don't worry about me. Enough. That's enough. Hey, man.

Let me do this.

Okay? You get ready to disappear.

Playboy.

JB.

You'll be all right. JB.

Look what you did.

Shake it off, JB. Shake it off.

We've got to pull him out.

He's going to drown.

JB.

You laughing?

Who's next?

Okay, nobody's next. We're not doing it. Oh, somebody's going next. Are you out

of your mind?

No, I ain't out of my mind. His lungs are toast.

Cinnamon toast. He's fine.

All right, JB.

That's all you got?

Huh?

Okay. Set.

You want to be in the group? That's what this is all about, man. This is about

love. This ain't about hate. I ain't no hater.

Okay, then you do it. That's all I got to do? Yeah.

Oh, cool.

I'll do it, though.

I'm in.

Yeah, I'm riding on the cart with you, too, JB. Me and you going to ride

together. Yeah.

Oh, man.

He is dead.

Seth. Guys, we got to call 911.

Guys! Don't... Okay,

all right. All right, I'm sorry, Seth.

I'm really sorry, but I need these pictures.

You understand?

I love you, man.

Wait, wait. Chill out. I was a boy scout.

Oh, my God, it's dead?

You trying to kiss me, man?

Nah, man. I thought we lost another king.

No, man.

Sad just got that narcolepsy, you know.

Sad is alive and well, y 'all. You can see me.

The entertainer's still kicking me.

And another thing is that... Got a

little narcolepsy.

So, I think that the fellas have had enough.

All right? It's time for Kevin to feel my pain.

Don't start with that ball stuff.

Not today, man. I've been traveling all day. I'm tired.

I got some boxes in the car, my bags. And go get me a fruit cup. Got you, got

you, got you. Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's this?

My agent sent this?

Trying to get me to play Smokey the Damn Bear. They've been throwing all types

of stuff at me.

Oliver.

Oliver, what?

Where's my wish and fire portrait?

Who's entertaining now, bitches?

What up, Rich?

You'll never be around another unfunny motherfucker again.

Where has this girl been hiding? With only two episodes left.

Maya, phone wants you.

Seriously, guys? Maya takes the lead.

I'm here to pitch a project.

What's the project?

Me. Second Generation Way is all new episode coming up next on BET.

We got it.