Original subtitles

Tonight's polka night. But first, JB wanted us to watch the pilot for his new

hidden camera show. I got a new show called Trick.

My first victim today is the one and only big worm, Patreon Love.

He comes in here to get his classic GPO details every Wednesday. But today, he

gets tricked.

Go get him, y 'all.

Don't worry, man. I use the same wax I use in the air on your car.

Whatever. Yeah, man.

Nice, bro.

And you have

just got three moves.

Look at that camera right there.

Hey, tell them what just happened to you.

I'm face down low.

And I just got tripped.

I should put my car.

That is your car. It's nice, too.

Get the camera.

Where's my car?

That is your car.

That's the car about a baby kid.

Now, my show is a lot different from other shows, right?

Most shows will have a fake car over there sitting around, waiting around,

right? We don't have that kind of budget.

So you get tricked, you get around here.

Now, here's the part of the show where things tend to get a little violent,

right?

I'm going in.

You don't fix my car. I ain't fixing your car.

You don't fix my car, the other eye is going to look like that eye. Your car

ain't going to get fixed, Faison.

You know my motto? Once you get tricked, you got nailed in the same damn town.

You know what my motto is? Trick me once.

Trick me once.

Fix my car, JB.

Listen, I like the show, okay?

I think the show is funny.

But, dude, you got to get better celebrities.

Not Faison.

You're not even a citizen.

You're right about that. You're no citizen.

I love America.

First of all, Faison was just a pilot, an idea, a premise, a run -through. See,

get it on his feet.

Put it on his feet and see how it goes.

Wait, wait, hold on.

Not only is my car ruined, you're telling me I was practiced? You was

Hold on.

Practiced? Network is giving me two more episodes to prove myself.

I need real stars in this, right? You're not a real star. What is that supposed

to mean, real stars?

I Googled Boris.

It said, do you mean Chuck Norris?

Come on, man. Stay in your lane, baby. You're a B. Okay, listen. Listen, JB.

If you're going to trick somebody else, it would be me.

Yeah, it would be. Why wouldn't it be me?

I'm a ratings magnet right now. Really? Yes. What do you mean? I'm like dust. I

stay on TV. You are dusty.

What does that mean?

Dust is dirt.

Anger will eat you.

That'll be an all -you -can -eat anger buffet?

Finally, something to eat him.

Think I'm all in.

I'm the best tweeter ever.

What are you doing? Why are you in my house?

Look, kid.

Um, here's the thing.

I'm not going to leave here until my car is fixed.

That was JB. It had nothing to do with me. Go to JB's house. No, JB doesn't

meat. He's a vegetarian.

That's like kryptonite to me. I can't eat that stuff. So go to your house. You

got meat at your house. I will go to my house when I can go there like a man and

drive there in my car.

You understand?

That car is sentimental to me. Okay.

Okay? I'm about to call my baby kids. Come out. Come out.

Honestly, guys, do I not have the lock on my door? Okay.

JB tricked Nicole.

What? He rigged an elevator to fall while she was in it. What? What?

What floor was she on? Why didn't he rig my elevator?

I ride elevators all the time.

I got an elevator in my house.

I ride an elevator in the mall. I rode an elevator over here. Why didn't he

trick me?

It should have been you, not Nicole. How's Nicole?

Boy. Oh, she's fine.

Yo, what about... Don't worry about her.

Now, I overheard JB talking, and you're next. What?

Yeah, yeah, you're next, okay? So be on the lookout.

Be on the lookout for what? JB, it's not a game, man.

This is real black stuff.

I knew you was going to try to trick me, JB.

I mean, I'm the biggest trick star.

I'm the biggest star that you know.

Only problem is now I'm looking over my shoulder. I'm like this.

Where you at? Where you coming?

You act like you want me, want to try and find me. Why you want to step to me?

When you ask me to do it. Yep. Hey, Kevin, come in.

How you been?

I'm good.

Good, good, good, good.

What are you doing?

You're putting footmark on my phone. What are you doing?

Looking for something.

Kevin, sit down. What's that? A computer?

Why is a red light on it?

Because it's off. Sit down.

Sit. Down. Yes, I got a call from a woman named Charmaine. Who is Charmaine?

Who?

Charmaine called here saying that she was sleeping with you.

That could be anybody.

Yes, well, she also said that she is two months pregnant with your baby.

Once again, that could be anybody.

Okay, Kevin, I need you to take this seriously.

Hey, Trin, how's your day?

How's the family? That's normal what people do when they sit down. Well,

why I'm approaching you because your family seems to be expanding. You're not

approaching me. You're attacking me.

Off the bat, that's what you do. You go zero to 60.

Anything you hear has to become the most dramatic thing in the world. Let me

tell you something that Sam and Will told me. They said the bigger you get,

more problems that you will have.

Women will pop up and say that they're pregnant.

Some people might even call you gay.

Some people might say, I saw Kevin Hart doing cocaine in the back of the

bathroom off a urinal. I'm getting it. This is the consequence of getting it.

What you're about to get is sued.

Look.

Kevin Hart is your favorite comedian.

That's you.

Kevin Hart is my favorite comedian. That was your name.

Say all right, all right, all right. That's you, quoting yourself.

It's all right, all right, all right.

You sound like my dad.

I don't even know what that means. Uh -oh.

I'm about to pop the top.

Everybody want to be Kevin Hart. It's sad.

Get your own identity, people.

That's not even how I say all right, all right, all right. right.

How do you? Please entertain me. So you've never seen me perform?

Because if you have, what do I do?

All right, all right, all right.

All right.

That's not mine. I don't even understand what that accent is. It seems

simultaneous. This is getting sad.

No trust means no relationship.

I don't know that girl.

I know exactly who she is.

Mia Charmaine, which you would call secretly dating.

She's a bank teller slash gangster rapper.

A straight -up bankster.

That's what we call him in the business.

See, as you can tell, I'm one of those guys who like to keep it real, which is

why I met her.

You want to know what else is real?

This.

That's why I'm in trouble.

Guess I better go handle that.

So after that little table -flipping thingy, people

were concerned about my anger.

and thought I should see somebody, so Robin gave me a Groupon to his anger

management therapist.

Oh, there you go.

Sometimes it's a struggle to find your comfortable place.

How's that?

I had no idea you were so flexible. I'm comfortable.

All right. Now, I like to begin my session with a positive visualization.

I'm going to close my eyes and tell you what I see, okay?

Is this like wax on wax off?

kind of a gold white light a rainbow light of positivity of which no

can enter now close your eyes tell me what you see

touche

You are a comedian.

It's good. We're here to release some anger. I don't really feel like you're

taking this seriously. No, no, no. I'm taking this. I'm just not an angry guy.

Look, something happened earlier this week with my car. It was a vintage car.

That's it. I think the guy that did it should, you know, maybe he should

apologize. You know, sometimes we need a little help, a little something to help

accelerate the process of spiritual enlightenment. What is that? This is

the prod of release.

Help! Jamie, you mother... There we go.

Oh, there's the anger.

There it is.

My grandparents grew up on a farm, so I know how farm animals get dealt with.

But do I look like a farm animal, Mr. Anger Manager?

There you go. Ah, there's the anger. Here we go.

Ah, there's the anger.

There's the anger.

Can you feel the anger leaving your body?

It's wonderful. You think this is wonderful?

Absolutely. You want to feel some wonderful?

I'll tell you.

Do it again. Dude, stop.

Don't keep going.

You like that? Yeah, I love it.

Oh, don't go.

Hey,

Kev. Dude.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm new.

Yo, you following me face on? No, I just came from the therapist. Robin hooked

me up with the guy upstairs.

The anger guy?

Yeah. Yo, you know he doesn't have a license. I figured that out when he

out a cattle prod, Kevin. But forget about that.

As I was leaving our house this morning, I saw JB's van.

He's about to trick your ass.

Outside my house? Yes.

It's going down now, Kevin.

Okay. Yes.

Okay. I hope you got your clean drawers on, baby.

I knew it.

Oh, I knew it.

Watch out. Watch out.

Next.

I was here yesterday. You weren't here.

I like to make a withdrawal.

Two months ago.

What are you doing here, Kevin?

I'm here because you called my lawyer talking a bunch of nonsense about you

being pregnant. It ain't no nonsense, okay? I am pregnant. And I'm going to

some money, Kevin. All right? My baby needs diapers, clothes, studio time.

Studio time?

Mm -hmm. What the hell? You trying to tell me the baby rapping already?

That's where it happened, and don't act like you don't remember.

Hey, lower your voice.

Put my business out here in this bank. You're going to have to pay me, all

right? Or I'm going to let all of the blogs know about our baby, all right?

I'm going to send them that video in of you sounding like a little punk. Okay. I

keep media takeout on Speed Dabu, okay?

So meet me tonight at the boathouse by the lake with $100 ,000.

$100 ,000?

That's what I said. Oh, you done bumped your big -ass head. I didn't give you no

$100 ,000.

I just gave you $90 ,000 to produce your last mixtape with Dre.

You forgot about that?

Okay, so you know what? You want to play. You want to play with me. Okay, I

you. Look, everybody, Kevin Hardy is a little freak with a little... Hey, girl,

put it down.

Lower it.

I don't know what the joke is.

What are y 'all laughing at?

What you need to be laughing at is that little -ass bank statement. That's what

you need to laugh at, sir.

This is it. This is it.

This is it.

As soon as I saw the bank robbers, I knew it. I said, I'm getting tripped.

You're not going to give me this little prank.

I'm about to reverse it. I'm about to born identity this whole situation.

Everybody preach the robbery.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out of there.

Yo, little man, don't mean to shoot you.

Showtime.

Everybody stay calm. I got this.

Y 'all done showed the wrong bank to rob today, fella.

Time for me to kick some asses.

Who the hell are you?

Kevin. Boy.

Well, I may not have a lot of bulk, but what I do have is a skill set. You dirty

mother. I told you to get that. Oh, God.

Get the camera out of my face.

Camera man, stay focused.

I don't want to hear him, man.

That's Kevin Hart.

That dude's hilarious.

Okay.

Oh, okay. Y 'all want to be real with it.

Well, if you're going to be real, why don't you let these innocent American

voters go?

You want me?

I don't have no weapons.

Huh? But I got money.

You want money?

Huh? Take the cash. That's 20 grand in unmarked bills. I need that. Take it.

why are you in a giving mood?

Let me get them sneakers.

That means the lives of these civilians?

You got them.

It means your life. Okay.

You got it. Take it.

Take it all. Let me get that watch, too.

You can have it because it's about time for you to get out of here. Yeah, I want

the shirt, too. You know what? You don't have to ask for nothing else.

I'll give you everything you want.

You want the shirt?

These are my fans.

These are loyal citizens.

Take it all.

Take it and get your asses out of here.

You drive a Porsche?

Listen, listen. Hey, hey, look. I'm not Faison. Don't mess with my car. I

sincerely love Kevin Hart, too.

I got 20 stacks, a Porsche, and a $30 ,000 watch.

Now I wonder where Steve Harvey been at.

Get out of here!

No,

no, no, hey, hey, listen, listen, stop. It wasn't me by myself.

Hey, let me get the other two actors back here.

I was racist until today.

That little monkey saved my life.

Go, Obama.

Thanks for calling, man.

You got me, JB.

I'm tricked.

Where you at, man?

Well, I want to thank you for the movie.

for the clothes.

Just let me know where to send them.

Send them?

I want you to bring them to my house. What?

Unwashed. My address is in your pocket.

Okay. Your cup.

Your cup. Keep them.

Bring me the clothes.

Why didn't I think of that?

No, Charmaine. How about we start with that?

Okay? Second of all, no, I don't have your money.

See, that is why I don't deal with you. I'm telling you. Charmaine, the bank

robbers took the money. You hear me? I don't have it. The bank robbers got it.

Why do the bank robbers got my money, Kevin? Okay. Huh? How do the bank

got my money?

My baby was going to need a tattoo.

A tattoo of what? The baby's a fetus.

Listen to me. Listen to me. Stop. Stop. Stop walking. Stop it.

Stop. You have no idea what my day has been like today.

Okay, I'm at a bank.

I get my money taken and stuff.

I'm out here in the... Kevin, are you crying?

No. My allergies just act up when I get sad.

I just need a hug.

You need a hug? I got your hug, boo.

I knew it. You didn't get me.

What are you crying about?

What's all that right there? Because I'm emotional. Tell him, man.

That was crazy.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So, boys, hold on.

So, you're saying that Nicole got tricked. That was a lie?

That was actually true.

What I was hoping all this was to trick me.

Damn. Good bit, Kevin. What? Look at that camera right there. Tell them what

just happened to you. Tell them what happened to you.

Give it up. Give it up.

Hey.

Yo, I'm Kevin Hart.

And I just been tricked. You know what I mean?

This is crazy.

The bank robbery.

I mean, them taking my car.

Y 'all had me. Like, for a second, y 'all had me there.

It's crazy.

Oh, that part was real.

What are you talking about?

The robbery wasn't part of the trick.

Your money, your car, your sneakers, all that's gone.

You got double tricks.

Are you serious?

I'm dead serious.

Hey, uh... Yo, turn the camera off. I want to talk to the camera.

No, no, no.

Are you serious right now? Uh -huh.

Oh, man!

I really lost it. Guess I need some white gold and rainbow light of

Mr. Hart, why are you angry?

I'm not angry.

Never me. People around me.

I'm good.

I'm in a different place.

This is the prod of release.

We're not going to take this seriously. We could shut the company down. On an

all -new second -generation weigh -in, can they keep it together?

It's my mom.

This is stupid. This isn't fun and games, Dante.

Second -generation weigh -ins, all -new episode coming up next on BET. We got

you.

Last season on Let's Stay Together, Crystal found out her man is in the

I'm great.

Darkenia's boyfriend?

Say what now? Love is complicated.

Find out what happens next on an all -new season of Let's Stay Together.

Premieres Tuesday, March 26th at 11 on BET.

Nobody's got you like we got you.