All language subtitles for Real Husbands s01e06 Auf Wiedersehen, Mitches

Previously on Real Husbands of
Hollywood.

All right.

Everybody, 1 ,000 is up. Look, y 'all
know the game is slap circle.

Okay? You cut your nails, Robin?

Not really.

You got cocoa butter on Boris?

All right. Done deal. Look, last man
standing wins.

All right? I got short money, man. I
need this one. Who's first?

Me. All right.

Come on. Come on.

I won.

I got the money. I'm the last man
standing.

Now I'm the last woman standing.

We usually play poker, but today I felt
like domino.

Morning, Richard.

Okay. I know how it goes. Can someone
tell me? Why don't you stop speaking in

German and cover your ass and play some
defense?

We ain't going to be in the cabinet with
the plate.

Black people come over, man. Look, leave
the hot sauce out so black folks can

find the damn hot sauce.

You don't hide it.

It's in the refrigerator, JB.

Who puts hot sauce in the refrigerator,
Kevin?

It's called hot sauce, not cold sauce.

Why is he just rambling?

He's just rambling.

Let me tell you something.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people
coming over my house and going through

stuff like roaches. That's JB.

JB's a roach, man.

It's non -stop JB.

Who's heartfelt?

Jay, stop. I know.

Hey,

stop it now. Stop it now. You're too
short.

Is that Kevin?

That's Gary Coleman. Dude, stop. Come
on, man. What's that?

Give it back, man. Listen to me. I ain't
using nobody else's body.

It's a character. You know how I had
chocolate drop?

What is it different?

Heartfelt is more for women. It's for
the pennies.

It looked like to me that Hartfeld took
his panties off. He's doing the Eddie

Murphy, Jamie Foxx thing, right? Well,
it better be more Jamie Foxx than Eddie

Murphy because that was not a highlight.

Give it back, okay? It's neither Jamie
or Eddie, all right? Eddie Murphy's

all the time? Let me tell you something.
I never did that to that song.

Jamie Foxx was blaming it on the
alcohol. That's what I blamed it on

bought the album.

I'm different, fellas.

I'm talented, okay?

Let me tell you something, Robin.

You, that little 15 minutes of fame you
had is up, baby.

Done. What you need to do is return your
style and Paula back to black people.

We had her first.

Creation is colorless, all right?

Creation is colorless. Well, let's talk
about creation.

This here is a masterpiece.

I guarantee you this will win two
Grammys and a hoodie.

You ain't going to win no hoodie.

Hey, hard sauce.

I got two hoodies.

Dynamo.

It's domino. You can't put three down at
the same time. How'd you get in this

country, Vorce? It's 20.

And stop. My name is heartfelt.

Respect me as an artist, man.

Why don't you let us hear something,
Heartbeat? I'm not going to play it

this is not the copy I should play. This
is the rough cut.

Translate, it's going to go double
plastic.

Hey, Kev, if you need me to listen to it
or vocal coach or I hook you up with

some other producers, I'm there for you,
man. That's big of you, Robin. Okay,

let me get you something to drink.

How about a glass of no?

No.

I'm going to tell you right now, Robin,
Kevin Hart will steal your stuff.

I promise you.

I don't know what the hell JB talking
about.

I really don't. But let me tell you
something that's pissing me off. I got

part of my movie, Think Like a Man.

Now, if I had known he was going to act
like a Mitch, I would have told him to

cut them little two seconds he was in
the movie out the film.

I got that type of power.

So today, Dwayne has set up this meeting
with these German beer makers.

Apparently, they want me to do a
campaign similar to the Jose Quis guy.

But instead of saying, stay thirsty, my
friend, they want me to say, drink

beautiful.

Like me.

I mean, come on. It's like, I mean, it's
true.

You know, I'm beautiful, but I wouldn't
say it.

Let me tell you, that guy better be
legit.

Hey, look, just stick with me, brother.
All right. And I'll tell you what.

You'll never have to worry about Nicole
claiming you as a dependent ever again.

That's very funny, Mr. Campbell.

Oh, hi, Mr. Parker. Hi, Mr. House
Parker. Hi, Mr. Streetcar. Mr.

Boomerang. Tyler Perry's night nurse.

Will Smith, get out of the way.

Oh! No!

My hand, my hand.

Udo Kornheiser, this is Mr. German
Chocolate himself, Boris Kojo. Oh, you

right, Dwayne. This is more gorgeous
than you promised.

If I were a woman, I'd bang.

That's a little aggressive.

Udo Kornheiser, he's one of the most
notorious mobsters in Germany. He's like

Suge Knight, Nino Brown, and George Bush
all rolled up into one.

And this is who Dwayne is doing business
with.

And damn, who's this?

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, my bad.

Meet Udo's lovely wife and business
partner. Oh, it's a pleasure to meet

Hello.

I mean, she's not a mobster, but she
certainly is notorious for other things.

You know what I mean.

My soon -to -be multi -platinum
recording artist heartfelt needed a live

debut his new song. So what I did was
call my good friend Jay Leno.

You know, me and Sam Jackson are the
only two black people with Jay Leno's

number. Ricky Martin doesn't even have
it. He's the band leader.

Look, Kevin, nor Sam has Jay's number.

Whenever black people call Jay, my phone
rings.

Wait a minute.

Hey, Denzel, what's going on, man?

My next guest is a multi -talented guy,
but that's just because he has multiple

personalities, one of which you're about
to meet right now. He's heartfelt.

Tim, what's that fool doing on there?

Welcome to the sexy couch.

What? I'm going to take my shirt off for
this one.

Yo,

J.

Bolognese, what's good?

Hey, man, turn on little, man. You ain't
going to believe this.

Paula climbed my body. You don't want
Robin.

You want to be born.

That's hilarious, man.

Hilarious? He's taking all your
figuring, man.

Nah, man. It's like a joke song. It's
like Weird Al Yankovic or something.

Well, you're with a Yankovic because
he's taking everything.

I'm going to tell you right now. It's
going to start with a song.

Then they're going to take Paula, right?
Next week, he's going to be white.

Nah, man. It's all love. It's an homage.

Well, he's going to steal your... out of
house, and homage, okay? You gotta be a

pathologist, right? And get in that ass.

Hey, don't worry about it, JB. Maybe if
he makes any money off of it, I'll have

my lawyer look into it, all right?

Lawyer? You're gonna call a lawyer?

No, no, no, no, no. You don't need to
sue him, right? You need to do him. You

feel me? You do him. You do that little
guy.

So will it be a video?

Well, Jay, it's funny you say that
because actually tomorrow I'm having a

release party.

Really? Yeah, at my house. It's going to
be crazy. Everybody's coming. You

should come through.

Jay, you should come through. Last time
you came to my house, it got crazy. I

will do that. I will be there.

I bet you didn't get an invitation, did
you?

Huh? I got one.

Know what I did with it?

I set it on fire.

You know, JB's right.

It's my song and I didn't get an
invitation.

Message to all you kids out there.

This is when you turn the negative into
a positive, okay?

Eyes, mouth, heart.

Like a song.

I'm gonna...

Boris wasn't going to do the beer deal
with Udo.

Especially after he said, I'm not going
to do the beer deal with Udo. But that's

okay. I think it has something to do
with Udo's fine -ass wife, Anka.

I think Boris put his Oscar Mayer wiener
in her.

Right? And he wouldn't give me any
details, but I know somebody that I can

it out of him.

B, change your mind on the Udo deal or
what?

Hey,

hey.

I'm not going to get in bed with Udo.

He's like the John Gotti of Frankfurt.
And I'm definitely not going to get in

bed with Tanka ever again.

Good stuff.

She's all right. I knew you hit that.
Tell me details.

It was ages ago.

Look, we were both on the German
national tennis team together. Played

doubles. We had this little secret
romance until two of our other lovers

up dead. Dead? Dead. Dude, did you get
tested?

Stay away from Udo.

He's bad news.

Look, look, the bottom line is...

Udo put up a bunch of yen to sponsor the
heartfelt tour. Hold on, hold on.

Kevin is involved with Udo? Yes.

Kevin is making moves, man.

Kevin is on the rise. But you, you on
the other hand, man, you just continue

bore us.

Bores?

Everything you win get canceled.

Drink beautiful.

Like me. You in the pocket. That's in
the pocket.

Ha!

Ha!

Really? Really, Boris?

All right, man, look, you don't have to
do the deal, but you need to sign this

non -disclosure agreement, okay? For
what?

I can't disclose it.

Just sign it, man.

Consider yourself non -disclosed.

Yeah, right.

Damn it.

I gave Boris the wrong paper.

He accidentally signed the contract.

Drink beautiful, Boris.

GZ, you, me, on the track. You gonna
roll with your boy?

Bro, where we going?

A hook.

Yay. Like on one of the tracks.

See, man, you know, I'm going to keep it
100.

That's all we do is keep it 100. You
know, I ain't really feeling all this.

you know, I don't think that's where I
want to be at with it. By the way, I

don't think you should do it either. You
should stick to what you do, whatever

that is.

Okay. That's good advice.

And what you looking at? Oliver, get out
of here. Oliver, go.

Okay. Done deal.

What you keep pointing at? Get your man.
I got it. I got it. Hey, I still love

you, boy.

How you doing?

Hey, man.

Watch out, man. All right.

They're my double's partner.

Where did you sneak in?

Through the back door, did you?

It must cut us slow.

No, because we're live, baby.

All right. Bye.

Okay.

Your serve, Boris.

How did you do that? Just take it
slowly.

Because, you know, I have such a hard
time returning your ball.

Okay, that's easy.

Just let them go.

I

see

you two are celebrating the good news.

Look, I can explain.

Hold on.

Good news? Yeah, so we have a deal, of
course.

A deal?

Deal.

Why else would my wife be kissing you on
the mouth?

Hey, but you know what? That's the
Hollywood thing. When we celebrate, we

Really?

But I guess in Germany, y 'all slap.

Yeah.

One, two, three.

Here, Boris.

Drink. Beautiful.

Like you, Boris.

Isn't that wonderful?

I don't know why you would listen to
him. He works for me.

You know, we're about the world premiere
video.

And you know what? It's hard for me to
talk about this because this video is

dedicated to a very important person in
my life. I don't even want to ruin it,

guys. Without further ado, Frost Without
You.

Welcome to the sexy couch.

I'm going to take my shirt off this one.

without you can't feel my toes i know
how it feels

and snow but i love you baby thoughts
without you

paula climb my body you don't want robin
you want a divorce touch

my eyes and bless my sneeze tell me i'm
your black snowman and how you

love my snowball

Tell me it's not pneumonia.

I don't want to hear it.

Come on, Kevin, man.

Give it up, man.

Video over, baby. Come on, man. Hey, you
don't pay for no electric in this

house. You don't melt no damn snow with
my man, girl.

You done stole my video.

You stole my beats. And you stole my
video, Vixen. You know what I'm saying?

Okay, first of all, that's your wife.

That's what I'm saying. You done messed
around with the wrong gangsta, mini

gangsta. Okay, why don't you turn into
Robin Crip? Because this is getting

for me.

You know what, Robin? You want to
address it in front of all these people?

let's address it. Yes!

Yes, Robin, I stole your song. I remixed
it. And I put Paul in the video.

Catch out the bag, people. Everybody
knows.

What you gonna do about it, Mitch?

Yeah,

you better get a headache. You better
get a headache, homie. Because that's

I do. I wreck brains.

You know, Ali.

Damn.

Go talk to him. Go talk to him.

Should I be suicidal?

Uh -uh.

Oh.

later. Bring you in, all right? Later.

Okay.

So that's how we do it?

This is how we do it. This is how we do
it. All right.

the thought of inviting Robin over to
apologize.

Hey, man!

Yo, dude, how long you gonna stay mad,
man?

Okay, okay.

Okay. All right, listen to me.

Look at me, man. Listen.

Why'd I call you over here?

To apologize.

This is what they want. They want to see
brothers fighting like this.

Don't give them what they want.

All right?

Dude, I'm sorry.

I should've talked to you first. Yeah,
you should've. I said that. I know that.

I know I should've did that.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

Okay? I was wrong.

But you know how this business is. Stop,
man. You don't got to do that.

It's a business.

I steal some things. You might go steal
some things. What?

You ain't stealing nothing.

That ain't you.

I'm just saying that's how the business
is.

I want all the publishing.

All of it? All of it. Foreign
territories, too. You got it.

You got it.

All right?

So are we cool?

I ain't shaking your hand. Okay.

I want a hug.

Okay. You smell good.

I'm on autopilot.

You smell like Old Spice.

You got me.

You got it.

You smell good.

Okay.

Kev.

What happened, man?

You blacked out.

Oh, man.

That hasn't happened since the source
warrants.

You got any rice milk or anything?

I think it's in the oven.

Excited about the trip. On an all -new
second -generation weigh -in. I want to

show you something.

Whoa. Is that Georgia's girlfriend?

Tiffany's a porn star.

Somebody's got to tell her. Second
-generation weigh -ins. All -new episode

coming up next on BET.

Nobody's got you like we've got you.