Original subtitles

What are you doing to my magazine? I'm connecting the freckles on this girl's

boot tag.

And it spells out, bite this.

Let me see that.

Dude, those aren't freckles. Those are razor bumps.

Look, man.

I'm just trying to find a topic for my women's studies paper, all right?

I'm sitting right here. Why don't you just ask me?

Because I want to pass, Lisa.

Guys, have you seen Brianna? She's late for our mini -date.

Man, what the hell is a mini -date? Well, it's usually the 15 minutes we

in between my job and her being at school.

Talk about her day. And we share a cupcake.

Cupcakes?

Yo, too bad I'm not taking punk -ass boyfriend one -on -one this semester,

right?

Yo, man, I am not a punk.

Arnaz, I'm home!

Coming, sweetie!

We have a couple minutes left for our mini -date. Where have you been?

Okay, do you want to have a mini -date or a mini -fight?

Okay, okay, okay. How was your day?

Well, actually... That's wonderful.

I gotta go.

I know.

We have all this freedom, and we're still apart.

Your dad might as well be here.

Oh, my God, Daddy!

Hey!

Don't do that to me.

Look, I can't be late for work again.

The owner's out of town, and this new manager's all over me because we're

shorthanded. Well, wait, they haven't found a new busboy yet?

No, which means I have less time for my music because now I actually have to

work at my job.

Well, I'll just come down there and hang out with you.

Nah, but I'll be too busy.

Well, I can help.

together do i really have to bust tables or can i just stand at the counter look

cute please sorry it's kind of what i've been doing i get tips with

these

so

you're familiar with the blog oh yeah me and my roommates hang out here all the

time we come here for the free and easy atmosphere

ourselves on that.

So these are the tables you'll bust and this is the stage you'll sweep and where

that guy will never perform.

You know that's my boyfriend, right? Then you know why.

So if you have any questions, I'll be in the back office because I hate it out

here.

mini dates. We'll be here together at the blog all the time. That's right,

We can walk over here together, we can eat our lunch together, and we can even

fool around in the stock room together.

Uh -huh.

And best of all, it's just you and me working side by side.

Go! Go!

Go!

Excuse me.

Oh, sorry, baby. Cash, hand me that mug.

There you go.

All right, I know.

Let's Google monkeys in bikinis.

Arnett, do you realize that I'm the only one doing any work around here?

Well, that's part of your training.

You're doing a great job.

It stinks, Arnett.

Well, that's what happens when you don't wash out the tub.

Is this how it's going to be when we finally make love?

I'm going to be doing all the work, huh?

I think I just found the subject of my women's studies paper.

I'm going to call it The Workplace Has No Place in a Relationship, also known

Who's Going to Get Stabbed First.

Your dinner date certainly ended early.

Were all the motels full?

Ha -ha. And how did your date go?

Oh, that's right. I'm your date.

Brianna, why are you the only one working?

Our network hasn't done a thing since we've been here.

worked here for the free latte.

Well, he claims that he's just training me.

As what?

A serving wench?

I'm telling you, if it were me, with all these hot women around here, I wouldn't

want my lady anywhere near this place.

Yeah, if there's one thing that turns hot women on, it's a man lugging around

tub full of backwash.

It doesn't matter what you are, as long as you know how to work it.

Let me show you. Whoa, what are you doing?

You have the proper training. It took me a week to get it.

Cup goes in tub. Hot it.

Here, let me get that plate for you.

See anything you like?

I'm sorry, I don't speak minimum wage.

You know, I'm really a photographer.

Yeah, and I'm really America's Next Top Model.

Maybe I can shoot you sometime.

If I have to talk to you for one more second, I'm going to shoot myself.

You scared her away, huh?

Now we're going to have coffee.

For real, when?

Next time she's here and I'm here, we're both having coffee.

Look at him over there, laughing and Googling.

The only reason he even wanted me to come down here is so I can do all his

for him.

Well, that figure.

The woman always does the work while the man just kicks back. with his buddy.

That's why I'm never getting married.

Yeah, that's why.

Come on, Lisa, let's get out of here.

Thanks, Ernest, for the free latte.

That free latte.

Hi, Benji.

It's Benjamin.

Is that really better?

Keep me a lot quieter in the trunk of my car.

Oh, you didn't hear that.

Look at it.

I think we'll take off, too.

You about to go stalk that girl lunch.

No, we are.

So, is there anything in there on how to do some work and get up off your ass?

Baby, the only reason I'm here is to play my music.

I'm not trying to be the perfect busboy.

Oh, well, you've succeeded at that.

Okay, obviously the stretch of work is getting to you. So why don't you sit

down. Relax with the Internet, and I will finish the tables for you.

Okay.

Are you surfing the World Wide Web?

Oh, no, I'm just doing some research for my astronomy class.

Well, you know, employees aren't allowed to use the computer.

Oh, Arnaz didn't tell me that.

Oh, yes, Arnaz, the lyrical busboy.

Listening to him was your first mistake.

Now come back to the office. We have to have a serious talk.

Oh, no, a serious talk?

I'm not going to end up in the trunk of your car, am I?

He didn't fire you, did he?

Because I will quit. No one fires my lady.

All right, listen up, everyone.

Okay, I just promoted Brianna to assistant.

manager. You what?

Yes, she's now your boss.

But I've been here longer.

I'm painfully aware of that.

But I need help, and she's the most qualified.

She works hard, she's getting a college degree, and she's not just here to get

up on that stage or Google monkey porn.

Wait, you're not upset about this, are you?

Of course not.

It's great.

Congratulations. Oh, thank you, baby.

All right, we better get back to work. You want to give me a hand with the

outdoor tables?

Please, Arnaz, I'm management.

Working hard for your money.

Working hard so hard. Uh, girl, if you move the scones to the front of the

counter... The customer might see them.

Think about it.

Oh, Arnaz, did you replace the towels in the bathroom? Yes, I did.

Did you sweep the patio? Yes, I did. Did you just give me attitude?

Yes, I did.

Okay, we'll take it out on the floor. Go get a mop or something.

Dang, Brianna's Arnaz's boss?

This paper's writing itself.

You're on the executive fast track now.

Next up, manager, then vice president, and then finally, my dream, trophy wife.

Brianna's gonna lose all respect for you.

Trust me, I see it happen all the time with celebrities, where the woman

the boss, Bobby and Whitney, Liza and that gay guy. He started off straight,

know.

Dude, she's not really my boss. She's just the person that's in charge of me.

And with her in my corner, I am that much closer to performing on that stage.

So? This could be a good thing.

Yeah, good for you, bad for the audience.

Excuse me, Arnaz.

Don't mean to interrupt, but it's time to get back to work. We're out of sugar

at the creamer station.

Thanks.

Dude, you're right. The creamer station is closer to the stage.

Yeah, you better get to it. She might not be nice to you at home.

Oh, she'll be nice.

Because at home, I'm the man.

Who are you trying to fool?

We live with you, jackass.

Please. When it matters, I'll wear the pants in this relationship.

Oh, Ernest looks so cute in the pants I picked out for him today, doesn't he?

I know Ernest works for you, but don't you think you're being a little hard on

him? I mean, he is your boyfriend.

Yes, and I love him.

Ernest, pick that trash up off the floor!

Brianna's right.

Sometimes you need to have some boundaries in the workplace.

Wait, then why are you going out with the guy you work for?

Because unlike Arnaz, he has a future.

Okay, sometimes I need to censor myself, but I think we can all embrace my

honesty.

All right, guys, I gotta get back to work. Thank you for coming by.

Oh, and you can pay for your drinks at the counter. They're gonna pay you, too,

DMACC and cash.

But we never pay for our drinks. Arnaz gives them to us free.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. We're trying something new here.

It's called running a business.

Don't worry. I'll take care of the bill.

That biatch, Sarah, is gonna take care of it.

Oh, man.

You look beat.

Trouble at work?

There's no trouble.

Just got pretty busy after you guys left.

Arnaz, why don't you just admit it? You hate Brianna as your boss.

And speak slowly.

I hate having her as your boss. She makes us pay for our lattes.

That's why I stole all these hot fleas.

It's gonna be a lot of hot coffee dropping the floor tomorrow.

That'll teach her.

I'm the one who's gonna have to clean that up.

No, you won't, because I stole the mop, too.

Hey, look, man.

Brianna's gonna be here in a minute. Shouldn't you go pretty yourself up so

can start on dinner?

I keep telling you, what happens down there means nothing. What matters is

in charge of this castle.

And that's me, King Arnaz.

Hey, Arnaz.

King Arnaz.

What? I'm hungry. I want something to eat.

Oh, good idea. Go order us a pizza. I have some schoolwork to do.

You better get that pizza with meatballs. At least then you'll have

want pizza.

I want you to fix me something. Now.

Girl.

Ernest, have you been sniffing cleaner fluid?

No, I'm just hungry.

And I don't want pizza because I'm trying to eat healthy. And you would

that if you were paying attention.

Now go in there and get those pots to rattling.

Oh, if I go in there and grab a pot, the only thing I will be cooking is a

mulatto stew.

You're the boss? Oh, yeah, I'm the boss.

Oh, you're the boss. Yeah, I'm the boss.

Anyway, will you order that pizza? Make sure my half has chicken on it, okay?

You're so stupid.

Brianna, where's our nap?

He's on a schedule.

I don't know.

Well, it's just as well. Now I can fire him without any confrontation.

I'm not good with confrontation.

Oh, no, no, no, you can't fire him.

He had a dentist appointment today, and I was supposed to tell you yesterday,

and I completely forgot. I'm sorry.

Oh, I see what you did.

You made this about me and you because you know I'm not good with

Oh, it's so stupid to tell you.

Okay, okay, I won't fire him. but you can't tell anyone about my fear of

confrontation or else.

Or else what?

Fine, just tell whoever you want.

Here, finish bussing this table.

If you don't mind.

Or take the day off.

I don't care.

This paparazzi is my idol. Check it out. Page two. Courtney Love.

Sober.

Do you know how rare that is?

my temp job.

You quit? What about your new man?

He got promoted to VP.

And you're quitting?

Isn't that what you've been waiting for?

Well, that's what I thought. But now he says he can't be seen with someone who

answers the phones.

Some people are so shallow.

You ever thought about going out with a nice regular guy and not worrying about

how much he makes?

Oh, gosh.

You're so naive.

Mama needs things.

Hey, you guys, where's our maid?

I don't know.

Somewhere around here trying to find his dignity.

Hey, Arnaz, what happened to you today?

Did he just walk out on me?

I know he did not just walk out on me.

Arnaz, what's going on? You ignore me in there and you don't show up for work

today? What's wrong?

I went looking for a place to play my music and instead I get a job cleaning

tables? And just when I think my life can't get any more humiliating, my

girlfriend becomes my boss.

Look, I'm just doing my job.

But it wasn't until you became a boss at work that I realized how bossy you are

all the time.

Me?

Bossy? I always thought I was kind of shy and coquettish.

Oh, you were anything but shy and... that other thing.

I just don't think there should be a boss in a relationship.

Well, what about yesterday?

You just got through bossing me.

And did you do it?

No. Then it was more of a request.

Okay, I'll admit I can be a little bossy if you'll admit that you've been

slacking off at work.

Who cares?

I didn't come to California to be a busboy. I came here to be a rock star,

I know, and I'm trying to help you.

That's why I pushed you so hard at work.

Until you do your job, they're never gonna let you perform on that stage.

And right now, performing on that stage is all you got.

Wow.

I was kind of expecting, don't worry, baby, you don't need them.

That was rough.

If you were white and drunk, you'd be my mother.

I'm sorry, baby, I'm being a little harsh.

But this all comes from love and support.

Okay, maybe you're right.

It doesn't matter, though, because I'm quitting.

Why? Because I can't have you as my boss.

It is too hard having someone you think of as a partner telling you what to do.

Well, fine, then let me quit.

This job is way more important to you anyway.

Who knows what can happen once you get on that stage?

You do that for me?

Of course.

You're my partner.

But we have to find time for each other because I miss you.

Thank you, baby.

You know what us partners do?

What?

What? You want to see me work hard? I'll work hard.

I'll break a sweat.

Look, my women's studies professor was very upset that you quit for your man.

Who cares what she thinks?

I do, because she's kind of controlling my grades.

Look, to make her happy, I told her you took your job back.

And there she is over there dressed like a lumberjack.

I need you to go bust that table, or I'm going to get a D.

Uh, hi, everyone.

Well, here at the blog, we reward people for their hard work.

So tonight we'll have Arnaz, followed by Vlad, and Paco.

So if you need to leave anytime soon, you'll have to get your own cars.

So now give it up for Arnaz, our lyrical busboy.

Oh, yeah, that's my fan. Wait, fix the collar, baby.

All right, sing that song I like. Make sure you don't get too close to the mic,

okay? Go.

Okay, I'm sorry, baby. I'm trying to get better.

Now go ahead. Well, only if you feel like it.

Hey, everybody.

This song is lovingly dedicated to my boss.

Well, this is uncomfortable.

Wait till you hear him sing.

Love you, Daddy. Love you, too, Netta.