Original subtitles

And that was Dirty Trash with Stinky Stinky here on Yank It or Crank It.

take those phone calls.

Arnaz, we can't wait here any longer for your song to come on the radio.

My mom's plan already landed, and Freda and I promised we'd be home to meet

them. Yeah, but the DJ said he was going to play it today.

Why? To test the Baltimore emergency evacuation system?

All right, we've saved the best for last.

Shh, they're introducing the next song.

Get ready to crank this from the hometown crew known as Zandra.

Revolution!

Oh, man, I can't believe it.

Wait, guys, guys, guys, hold up.

This is the hottest jam all day, and I've already got a yank call?

What idiot would yank this?

Who you calling an idiot?

Mom, yeah, hey, girl, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Sometimes in life, you can feel all by yourself.

Well, I can't

Now, fall back, Nicole. How was I supposed to know your broom would arrive

early?

Ah, anger and frustration.

Perfect for Brianna's graduation documentary.

Now, you guys just keep it real and act like I'm not here.

How do you think I survived these trips?

Where is that girl?

She was at Arnaz's. I'm sure she's on her way.

Oh, you think she'll be here to meet her baby sister. But no, you let her stay

up in that boy's apartment.

You know what? If I were here, I would give her a piece of my...

But I have somebody I want you to meet.

Angela, this is your big sis.

Oh, hi, boo bear.

So nice to finally meet you.

Oh, excuse me, people. If you want to capture the reality of Brianna's

graduation, I'm going to need better performances.

I mean, that baby is just phoning it in. Poke it or something.

Okay,

now that everybody is here, I have a big announcement to make.

Okay. I've decided what college I'm going to.

Finally, you've been keeping us waiting forever.

Okay, I'm going to the University of Maryland.

Yes! Yes!

Congratulations,

baby.

We'll all be staying together.

You'll be a U of M, I'll be a Maryland School of Design, and Arnaz, you'll

What will you be doing, Arnaz?

Rockin'.

raving about their drama program.

Well, I thought about it, and since they're both really good schools, and

is about to be a huge rock star here in Baltimore... Rock it.

I just decided to stay here and be with my boo.

That's right, baby.

Uh -huh. I'm so happy for you.

Hey, hey, hey. I'm more happy than that spit. Come on.

Uh -oh, Brianna. I think I smell a dirty diaper.

Okay, I'll change her. Come on. Let's go share my room.

Hey, Arnaz.

When we have a baby, do you think it'll look more like me or more like you?

Either way, it'll be cute and fun to make.

But what is going on around here?

Brianna's talking about having babies, making out in front of us, and throwing

away an opportunity to go to California to stay here with a dummy.

Hey, don't drag me into this.

about Brianna and Arnaz before they end up like us.

Two miserable 18 -year -olds with a baby.

Hey, only one of us was miserable, and it wasn't you.

Stop worrying.

I know my daughter. She's a responsible young adult.

Lex, this is important.

She needs to focus on her education and not a boy.

Do you remember how tough it was for us, not knowing if we were going to make

it? Yeah, we didn't.

Exactly. That's why we need to make sure that she goes to CalArts.

Away from Arnaz. We? We can't tell him what to do. I got $8 ,000 in therapy

bills saying that's a no -no.

Okay, fine. Then I'll talk to him.

Arnaz isn't going to listen to you.

Nobody listens to you. I didn't start listening to you until a couple of

ago.

If anybody should talk to him, it should be me.

All right? So just relax. I got it.

All right?

And now, a rare sister -to -sister moment where the nice, sweet, new

meets the not -so -nice, not -so -sweet, and definitely not -so -new ex -wife.

Come on, shut up. Nicole!

Nicole! Hi!

Hi, I'm Danielle.

I wanted to welcome you with a cake, but I was so nervous about meeting you.

Well, I... Will half a cake do?

It'll do very nicely, thank you.

Nicole, this is Danielle.

She's the reason why Brianna and I are getting along so well.

I was their therapist.

Oh, okay.

So now the whole therapy thing makes sense.

It's been a long time on the couch, did you, Flex? Oh, yeah, I did.

Oh, you're going down, Daddy.

Hello?

I'm bonding with my child.

It's not the right time.

Britney Ballard, Ballard 3000.

Oh, now's the right time.

Have you talked to Arnaz yet?

I was on my way to do that right now.

Uh, where's your baby?

Don't worry about the baby.

Check this.

I just talked to my promoter buddy.

He heard our song on the radio.

Said he wants to book us for summer gigs as soon as Charlie gets back in town,

dude. Yes!

See? That's what I'm talking about.

Our time, fellas.

I feel the same way, bro.

Hey, Mr. Washington.

Um, Brianna's not here.

I know.

You know, I've been thinking on this.

It's been really great having Brianna here. But wouldn't a school in Hollywood

be better for her career?

I mean, I suppose, but Brianna's not made up her mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know. But I just had this crazy... You

what? No, that's all right, that's all right.

What? I was just thinking maybe you could talk to her.

That's too crazy. You don't have that kind of influence over her, so I'm just

tripping. Yes, I do.

I mean...

I wear the pants in this relationship.

I can convince her that we need to go to California.

I can convince the guys in the band, too.

50's always talking about Roscoe's chicken and waffles.

Oh, right, right, right. The band, the band. Yeah, yeah. I'd hate to see you

guys give up all that success here, you know?

You'd have to go to L .A. where nobody knows you and start all over.

You'd be a small fish in a big pond. Unlike here, where you'd be a big fish

small pond.

Hmm. Big fish, small fish.

Okay, what does Dr. Seuss have to do with this?

Wow.

What to do, what to do.

It's an honor to be huge here.

Yeah, it's always been my dream. Yeah, I know, and it's always been Brianna's

dream to be a great actress.

I mean, I wonder how you could do both.

Think, Flex, think.

How could Brianna go to California to follow her dream and you stay here in

Baltimore to follow your dream?

I've got an idea. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Even though the plan was for Brianna and I to stay together, what if she went to

California to follow her dream and then I stayed... Shoot, where was I going

with this?

I think what you were going to say was, Brianna could go to California and you

stay here in Baltimore.

Yeah, that's it.

It's like you're in my head. Lord knows, there's plenty of room.

Thank you.

It's all you, baby.

All of you.

All of you here.

One day before graduation.

24 hours before the rest of her life begins.

What will her future hold?

What will she put on her sandwich?

Where will she shag Dwayne if he doesn't get that camera away from her?

Come in.

Oh, hey, boo.

Rana, we need to talk.

Uh, Dwayne, do you mind?

Oh, you want me to get this all on video?

Uh, yeah, we can take it from your exit.

I like it.

Hey, so what's with the bread?

The market was out of flowers, but this smelled good, too.

Ooh, and this French, how romantic.

All right, Brianna, I know you decided on Maryland, but I've been giving this a

lot of thought, and I really think that CalArts is the better school for you.

Well, baby, you know how... I love the idea of California.

You finally getting that tan you always wanted.

But I chose Maryland because I was taking off.

Yeah, I was thinking about that too.

And I really think that I should stay here in Baltimore with the band while

go to CalArts.

I mean, I'd rather be a one fish, two fish than a red fish, blue fish.

And the big purple pie.

Wait, hold up. Are you talking about us being apart?

Because I thought the plan was always for us to be together no matter what.

We'll still be together in spirit, but without spirit.

Oh, so it's we now.

Well, where were we when you made the decision to send me off to California?

Look, Arnez, long -distance relationships never work.

So if you want to be apart, then we'll be apart.

Mom, Dad, I'm going to California.

Brianna!

Look, Arnez... Oh, Arnez, it'll be okay, baby.

I gotta hand it to you, Flex.

I didn't think you could do it, but you really pulled it off.

Well, Nicole, I didn't mean for them to break up.

Bonus!

She is our daughter.

Don't you see how sad she was?

Oh, come on now, Flex.

I know this is hard, but we should be proud. We are sending our baby off to

college with no rings and no babies.

We did the right thing.

How could you be so cold?

I thought Africa would thaw you out.

You ever been to a high school graduation without a baby?

Make all the jokes you want, Flex.

At least my baby will be walking down the aisle with her head held high

of worrying about her water breaking.

Yeah, instead she'll be worried about her heart breaking.

Look, Flex, don't mess this up. We are almost at the finish line.

Although you never were much of a finisher.

I hope you worked on that in therapy.

Yeah, I'll tell you what I like to work on. Don't stop.

Oh, this is nice. What a lovely Kodak moment.

Smile.

Oh, look, there's Arnett.

It sure would be nice if you could go over there and talk to him.

Yeah, you know what else would be nice? Free shoes, but it's not going to

happen.

Hi.

Hi.

So, big day, huh?

Compared to yesterday?

Not really.

It seems like that was your call.

I'm not the one who broke us up. Look, I don't want to talk about this here. Why

not? Why not tell everybody what a bad boyfriend I am? You mean what a bad

boyfriend you were.

Look, you already ruined my life. You're not about to ruin my graduation.

This is supposed to be a happy time. And what does one do during happy times?

They be happy.

I'm sorry, Arnaz. I know this isn't how you wanted your high school years to

end. I didn't want to break up.

I thought I was doing what's best for the both of us.

Fuck. My two best friends have broken up and I'm stuck in the middle.

Spirit, this isn't about you.

Is it ever?

Nicole, I hope we did the right thing.

Don't go soft on me now, Flex.

Being a parent... is about being tough, holding your ground, and not letting

your emotions get the best of you.

Oh, my baby!

I love you so much. Mommy's so proud of you.

Kisses.

Oh, I know.

Our little Brianna's all grown up.

Yeah, but that's not why I'm crying. I was just thinking about my graduation

how I needed two chairs to sit on and help getting up this morning.

Nicole needed help getting up the steps, too.

Graduates, this is your time to celebrate a rite of passage.

Each and every graduate... Where are your parents?

Oh, over there. You see that cloud of smoke?

Oh, hey, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

And now a word from this year's Cicely Tyson Award recipient, Breonna Barnes.

every day will bring us new surprises and we will meet them head on so let us

not look at today or yesterday as the end of something great but as the

beginning of something greater remember life is what happens when your boyfriend

is dumping you thank you

You should hurry up before they change your mind. Oh, no.

Happy, happy, yes, happy.

Look here, girlfriend to girlfriend.

Tell me what you'd like to say about me in therapy.

Oh, no, I'm afraid I can't tell you that. But you are much nicer than I

you'd be.

Quotio, spirit, freedom, jump.

Speaking of which, Arnaz.

No, no, Dwayne, don't call the money.

Tut, tut.

I want to get a photo of the three of you.

It's for the DVD cover.

Arnaz, come on now.

All right, everybody stand over here by the banner.

The graduates, look at... What?

Come on, kids, what is this?

I mean, where's the camaraderie? Where's the love?

Show me the love and I'll show you the money.

All right.

Say cheese.

Look at her. She should be happy on her graduation day.

She's smiling.

Yeah, through her pain, she gets that smile from me and I wore it on our

day.

Ha -ha.

Nicole, if Brianna finds out about this, she's going to hate us for the rest of

our lives. If that's the price we have to pay for her having a good life, then

it'll be worth it. That's easy for you to say. You're used to people hating

Listen, I'm leaving tomorrow, so I'm going to tell you this now.

Your job is to keep your mouth shut.

You just make sure she gets on that plane to California, and don't screw it

or I'm coming back.

If that's the case, I'm going to make sure she's on that plane, if it's the

thing I do, because I don't want to hear your mouth. Thank you. I don't want to

hear nothing you have to say, all right? That's all I want. She's feeding the

baby. She ain't eat all day.

Love you too, Netta.