Original subtitles

Please let me have a fashion show at D's Doves and Subs. It'll help me get into

college.

Uh -uh.

But how cool would it be to unveil oil rags by spirit in a garage like D's

and Subs?

D's Doves and Subs is not a garage.

It is an auto and luncheon emporium.

Okay, but think about the publicity.

Everyone will be talking about D's Doves and Subs. Everyone will be talking

about you.

Huh.

Can I wear a top hat? Of course. What else would you wear?

Then it's done.

Now if I could just remember where I put my top hat.

I think it's on the top shelf next to the top ramen.

After Spirit's fashion show, those recruiters are going to be begging her

come to their colleges.

Isn't that great, Arnaz? I don't care what Arnaz thinks.

Yeah, I mean, it's great for Spirit. It's the people at the college I feel

for.

Oh, you know what?

We should have a party to celebrate.

We can string Arnaz up like a piñata. I'll get the blindfold and a stick.

I'm sure your boyfriend must have a blindfold. How else could he be with

designed some ugly clothes for my band and then stabbed me in the back by

them to her no -talent boyfriend.

No -talent?

If that ain't the pot calling the kettle half black.

Now

I

can hear you guys fighting all the way over at my place.

Don't you know there are more important things going on than your petty

bickering? Say, you guys, listen to Dwayne.

Thank you, Brianna.

Now you two need to stop yelling at each other and tell me.

Top hat or bowler?

joining us on this edition of the Flex Files.

Tune in next time when our guest will be Minnesota Viking Brody Lyddiard.

Did you know that he has the longest nef in the NFL?

That's only because I'm not in the NFL.

Well, this is Flex Washington from Ron Yurashenko.

I'll be in my jacuzzi.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't go home yet. We got another segment to shoot.

No, silly.

The jacuzzi in my dressing room.

Good news, Flex.

Last week's ratings were the highest yet. Why does Rania have a jacuzzi in

dressing room?

See? Number one in St. Louis.

I'm tired of all the special treatment that Rania's getting. First a covered

parking space, then a personal makeup artist, and now a jacuzzi in her

room? All I have in my dressing room is a can of Raid and a footstool.

That footstool should have gone to Rania. Those jacuzzis are pretty high.

Matt, the show is called The Flex Files, okay?

Flex is in the middle of renegotiating his contract. You need to be making Flex

happy. Does Flex look happy?

giving these things to Rania because she's my lover.

They're incentives. Her agent negotiated into her contract.

Every time our ratings go up, she gets something.

And as her lover, so do I.

What about me, man? What do I get?

Well, since you're not my lover, I suggest you get an agent.

I didn't know that I was so hot. I started to wonder whether or not I was

Who am I kidding?

I'm hot.

I can't kiss you when all I'm thinking about is how much you and Spirit are

fighting. Then think about baseball. That's what I do.

Ooh, that may be Spirit.

I can't believe this. Look at this month's ooh -la -la.

Ooh, it's your oil rag shirts. Girl, you famous.

Let me see that.

Tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off my magazine. Besides, there's words

here with more than two syllables.

sure to be oil rags. An urban -inspired trend from the fresh creative mind of

New York City designer Lizzie Melcher.

It's all your boyfriend's fault.

What? How is this my fault?

Tell your boyfriend.

If he hadn't convinced us to run off to New York, I wouldn't have been forced to

sell my t -shirts to survive.

Oh, give me a break. You ain't there for one day.

Hey, Spirit, I came up with a great idea for your fashion show.

All the models should be wearing these, these, dubs, and subs hats.

Sorry, but there isn't going to be any fashion show.

You're just going to give up?

Why?

You read what that magazine said about you?

You're fresh, you're trendy, you're slick.

No, that's what they said about Lizzie Melcher.

if you just try.

Well, I guess I could design a whole new collection.

Yeah! You know what? You can do it.

Just make sure whatever garbage you come up with matches the caps. There you go.

Uh,

Matt, meet Ian, my new agent.

Ian Marks, Universal Talent Agency.

Wow!

Impressive, huh?

Absolutely. He's shorter than me.

Enough small talk.

See what I did there? I made a joke at my own expense.

I learned that from Tony Robbins, also a client.

Sidebar, his head, bigger than your whole body.

Now, Flex's contract, unacceptable.

Flex Washington is undeniably the star of this show.

Now, if these demands aren't met, heads will roll, all sizes.

These demands are ridiculous.

My only intention is to see that my client gets what he deserves.

Is that why you're insisting on a producer's credit for yourself?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why are you all up in my business?

Don't worry about what I'm getting.

Worry about what Flex is getting.

There's no way I'm going to agree to any of this.

I understand.

And I'm sure you'll understand that Flex quits.

That's right.

You're supposed to be defending my job, not losing it. Maybe this is just a step

in the negotiation, Dan.

I call it the Marx move.

Trust me, it works all the time. I use that on all my clients.

Do you know Bob Costas?

Yeah. Really?

Can you get me a meeting?

So what's it going to be, Flex? Because I'm not budging.

You heard my agent.

I quit.

Sorry it has to be this way, Flex.

Take care.

So what now?

I don't know. I've never had a client do what I said before.

Hey, so are they done?

I spent six hours designing.

Here they are.

I suck.

That's something we can all agree on.

Not now, Arnaz. No, your boyfriend's right. If anybody knows... like he does.

I spent all day on this and came up with nothing.

Well, don't just give up.

You're just a little blocked. It won't last.

There's no use, Brianna.

Maybe in life all you get is one great idea.

Maybe I've already had mine.

Well, I thought oil rags was a bad idea and look how wrong I was.

You know what I mean.

I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I'm done.

I don't know if this is the right gig for me, Ian.

What are you talking about?

I got you your own show on ESPN.

Do you know how many strings I had to pull?

That's how serious I am about your career.

Now get out there. You're on.

Hi, boys and girls.

I'm referee Flex.

And it's time for... Well,

you know, little Jimmy, I'm not sure why Kobe's case was dropped.

And as far as your follow -up question, what happens to black men in Colorado, I

don't know. I don't live there.

Oh, well, it looks like, thankfully, we're out of time. I'm referee Flex, and

this is...

Why do you say anything?

Just think of this as an opportunity to widen your appeal.

You're reaching a whole new audience.

Ian, I'm a veteran sports reporter. I prefer that my audience will be older

my underwear.

This is all a part of the Marx move.

See, now that you have a show on ESPN, we have more negotiating power, baby.

If you want a job, you have to have a job.

But I had a job.

And you're going to get that job back.

But for now, let's go out and celebrate.

Lil' Sports has a tab at Chuck E. Cheese.

If anyone asks, I'm 12.

Otherwise, I can't play in the ball bin.

Arnaz, would you come over here? I need your body.

Yes!

I'm all yours, baby.

Oh, good. We're going to get freaky.

Man, I don't get it.

Apparently, neither do I.

I followed Spirit's sketch.

What's missing?

Gasoline in a match.

more supportive. Spirit needs us right now.

She doesn't need me. She hates me. She's just mad at you because you keep making

fun of her designs.

Those are her dreams.

She makes fun of my music all the time.

She's at every one of your gigs. And like them or not, she put a lot of work

into those outfits she made for your band.

Look, I tried talking to her, but she won't listen.

Well, maybe you gotta do more than talk.

You two have been friends since you were kids.

This fighting is obviously upsetting her. No wonder she can't create.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Well, I think you need to do something special to show her that you care.

Oh, you want me to sing her a song?

No.

I mean, that's a good idea, sweetie. But I was thinking something more like

helping me make this dress for a fashion show.

Fine. Can I at least hum while I do it? Yeah, quietly.

Oh, in your head, please.

Stop with the bedazzling. My nerves are shot as it is.

Sorry, dog.

Once I start bedazzling, I can't be doing anything else.

Ian, I hope you're here with good news, man.

I am.

Got a parking space right out in front of the building.

Now, man, what about the flex files?

Has Matt called?

Yes, but being the brilliant agent that I am, I didn't take his call.

What are you, an agent for the unemployment office?

It's the dance, baby.

They take two steps forward, we take one step back, and then when we got him in

our grasp, we dip him.

Yeah, well, I'm going to dip you in some chocolate and feed you to Ace.

I don't know about that, Flex.

They might put Ace on a diet now that he's hosting your show. My very own Ace.

I'm not just a ball boy anymore.

Check out the file with Rania and Ace.

It's a perfect match.

I'm Wimble Dunn.

Well, this does change things some.

Do you know if Ace is happy with his representation?

Ian, that show is my baby.

I labored for it. I gave birth to it. I can't lose it now. Look, I gotta do

something. They're not gonna shoot a show without you. They're just bluffing.

Oh, man, you don't know that.

You know, I'm tired of listening to you. I'm going down there and beg for my job

back. Flex, I think you're overreacting.

But I'm your agent, and I love you.

I mean that sincerely.

I love you.

You're not going to leave me, are you?

You keep telling me you love me, I will.

I'm an agent. I don't mean it.

Okay, that's period. I'm going to go get changed.

Talk to her, Arnaz.

What if she doesn't listen? What if all she does is humiliate me?

Sweetie, you just spent the last three hours in a dress.

fight with you anymore. Can you please talk?

I really have nothing to say to you.

Well, fine. But if I did, it'd be about how I'm sick and tired of you not

supporting me. Not only in my designs, but you can't even be happy for me when

get a boyfriend.

Let's face it, Arnaz.

I'm always there for you. But lately, you sure haven't been there for me.

You're right.

And I'm sorry about that.

There's just so few things in my life that I can count on.

And I always thought I can count on it being me, you, and Brianna.

But now you've got A -Train.

Just missing the one thing that changed, so I acted like a jerk.

But just because I have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean we still can't be friends.

So you're saying we can be friends again?

Are you saying you're going to stop being a jerk?

I'll try.

from designs in your sketchbook.

You guys really made... that?

We didn't want you to cancel your fashion show.

So, what do you think?

I think... I think I'm inspired.

Yeah, okay.

So I'm gonna need chamois cloth, scissors, and a bedazzler. It's gonna

all night to fix this mess.

You mean it's gonna take us all night?

the host of Lil Sport.

Can I have your autograph, Referee Flex?

Quick, somebody get me a crayon.

Matt, look, I'm sure we can all share a laugh at this pitiful attempt to keep a

sinking ship afloat without a captain.

Matt. Shh.

The magic is starting.

Welcome to The Files with Rania and Abe.

Unfortunately, Minnesota Viking Brody Lyddiard won't be with us today.

Nobody told me that. Why didn't anybody tell me that? Why isn't Brody here?

My producer and lover wants to know why Brody isn't here.

Well, I think everyone is tired of seeing huge sweaty men schlepping around

football field.

It's boring.

So instead, I have invited another special guest, my cousin, Helena

You can't do this, darling.

Settle down.

is done.

Please welcome world champion tap dancer, Helena Ruschenko!

Oh, looks like things are out of control around here.

We don't have these kinds of problems down on little sports.

Hello, Helena. How does it feel to be the best tap dancer in the world?

Well, if I am glad you asked, it makes me feel like dancing.

Good luck with your little talent show, Matt.

Come on, here, let's go. No, wait, Flix.

You win.

If you don't come back, I'm going to have to stop her. And then she'll dump

And we can't have that happen. I just bought a whole case of Viagra from

I'll give you anything you want.

All right.

I want everything that Rania has, but one better.

You got it. Let's sign the contract.

Hold up, big guy. It's not about the perk.

It's about respect for this man. Giving him what he deserves.

It's about... You've got your producer credit.

It's about giving me that pen so he can sign his contract.

Not so fast. Now, I've been doing a lot of dancing for you lately, Matt. Now

what?

It's your turn.

Oh, no.

Not that.

No, Flex.

Flex, nobody wants to see that.

Come on, now. Let's cabbage patch it.

Work it out.

Work it out.

Work it out.

All right. Running man. Running man.

Love you, Daddy. Love you, too, Netta.