Original subtitles

When are they going to poke that lip?

Relax, Arnaz. You worked hard.

They'll pick your band.

Yeah, chill, Arnaz. We haven't seen you this nervous since we took you to see

that movie with subtitles.

You know, battle of bands is a big deal, Spirit.

It's like if you went on a date with a guy and it... Oh, it's like if you went

on a date with a guy.

This is so exciting. I just know you're going to win this whole thing. Aw,

thanks, baby.

Ugh, from the battle of the band to the battle of trying to keep my lunch down.

Aw, isn't this sweet?

Pretty boy knew he was gonna lose, so he brought some shoulders to cry on.

Very funny, A -Train.

Or should I say Albert?

At least I'm smart enough to use a nickname, Arnaz.

I like the way you giggle, baby. What's your name?

Oh, I'm sorry. I already got a man.

Not you.

I was talking to Red right here.

Oh, I'm Spirit.

Hey, Train, baby.

And I'm feeling the Spirit right now.

Well, praise the Lord.

Here is the list for Battle of the Bands, and if you're not on it, please

off campus.

Yes, we're in.

That's rock and roll, baby.

We made it to rock and blows.

And here's a little taste of what you're going to have to deal with.

Do you sound that bad?

Is that anything like I'm with stupid?

Well, Zara is Arnaz's band.

Oh, so the answer's yes.

Fleck, I'm going to do it.

Dwayne, look, I told you. If you liposuction your face, your head will

No.

I'm going to ask Candy to marry me.

Oh, forget liposuction. You need brain surgery.

Congratulations, Dwayne. Don't pay any attention to Daddy. He just ate a pack

gnawing haters.

asked Candy to marry you yet, Dwayne, you guys just got back together.

You're not thinking clearly. You're all hopped up on makeup sex.

I'm hopped up on love, Flex.

I mean, now that I got Candy back, I never want to lose her again.

But you two look so odd together.

You're round and she's tall and you walk down the street, you look like a

bowling ball chasing a pin.

At least I have a pin to chase. Strike. Ooh, out.

Dwayne, marriage is... Serious, man. Your whole life changes.

And you don't handle change well. You remember when they changed the mothers

the Fresh Prince? You didn't watch TV for a whole year.

That's the point.

Will was never the same after that.

All right, man. You don't know what's ahead of you.

Maybe not.

But I know what's behind me. And that's life without candy.

Man, she's all I think about.

She's all I want.

She's all I need.

Damn idea number 682 by Dwayne.

Well, you know what dumb idea number one was?

Having you as my best friend. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Well, for your information,

that was my dumb idea first.

Oh!

Because we live in a different world.

Okay, Butter, tighten up the bridge.

I'm Fitzy. Less bass, drum, more hi -hat.

How about a break?

Got a Snickers in the freezer that's just calling my name, dude.

I heard A -Train sing.

Believe me, if we're going to win this competition, we're going to have to

it.

Hey, boo.

Hey, guys, I got some new outfits. Check it out.

Hey, yep, you guys are going to look fly.

Hey, tight.

No, we won't.

These are all raw.

Look like hip -hop butlers.

Not Chuck.

Oh, well, Chuck is just a nickname for Charlie, but if we ain't cool like that,

then whatever.

I got a nickname for Spirit. It's Deez, as in Deez suck.

Good, then they match our music.

Just go away. Is that something I can look at?

Oh, you won't be able to look at nothing if I knock those green eyes out your

head.

I met Spirit work really hard on those outfits for you.

This competition is serious.

If she can't bring it, she can bounce.

What? Wait, hold up, Arnaz. We've known each other our whole lives.

I thought I was doing a favor for a friend, but I guess not.

Look, I don't have time to talk about this spirit. Come on, guys. Break's

Yeah, break.

Dandy, you are my sunshine.

You light up my life.

You make me feel brand new.

I like it when you drop it like it's hot.

No. What?

No, you can't use song titles. You're proposing to candy, not the yin -yang

twins.

Hey, here's your Soul Plane DVD.

I hope they have refunds on bootlegs.

Uh, is that all, Flex, because Danielle and I are kind of in the middle of

something? Oh, finally, you're seeking professional help for your cravings. Oh,

you know what? No, listen, you're not here.

for professional reasons. He's here as a friend.

That's right. She's the kind of friend who helps friends with their proposals

when other friends won't. Well, that's because other friends know better. You

know what? You dropped all the video. All right, all right, you two. What is

going on?

Come on. You guys have been friends too long to act like this.

Fine. You want to know what the problem is?

I don't think Dwayne and Candy should get married.

What? I told you that already.

I wanted her to see my pain.

Want to see it again?

Flex,

why would you say that? Because they just got back together, and he's rushing

into it. You know what? I'm not rushing into anything.

I think our breakup made us stronger.

Yeah, I think you guys should come in and talk to me. You two could benefit

a session.

With him?

No, I ain't coming in here. I ain't going nowhere.

We don't need therapy, all right? He needs to just do what I say.

Look, if you value your friendship, I suggest you come here tomorrow night, 8

'clock sharp.

Now, you guys are going to have to see yourselves out because I have a client

coming, and I have to go cover up my feet.

Don't ask.

What's up, shouty?

Hey, hey, you look good in that outfit.

My baby made it for me.

Your baby?

Wait, excuse us. We need a homegirl moment.

What's up with you and Albert? Oh, you mean my new man, Albert?

New man?

What happened?

Yesterday, you were there. Didn't you feel the magic?

All he did was ask you for your name.

Abracadabra, baby.

You know, one thing led to another, and now my new relationship with A -Train is

right on track.

But he's the competition.

He's not my competition.

Hey, we're about to go in and rehearse.

You two should come check out some real music.

No, I don't think so.

All right.

We out.

Come on, Brianna. I'm always there for you.

Can't you be there for me?

Okay, but just for one minute.

This is all right. You

know, it is so good to finally be able to dance to something.

Real nice, Brianna.

Arnaz, wait, let me explain.

Explain what?

How you like A -Train's music better than mine?

No, I don't.

I haven't been an emerging rock star for long.

When you see a girlfriend shaking her butt at another band's rehearsal, you

you got played.

Hey, Arnaz, are you setting up for a mic check?

No, I'm in the middle of a girlfriend check.

Yo, dude, you look dope.

Why aren't we wearing them again?

You gave them our clothes?

You didn't want them. You said they were, what was the word? Wrong.

So now they're right.

That's right, baby.

It's all right.

So it's like that spirit?

No, it's like this.

Arnaz, Arnaz, don't worry about them. Let's just go to your rehearsal.

Sorry.

Our rehearsal's closed.

You know what?

You're just dumb. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what? That's nice and mature.

I guess we know now why you're not married. Well, at least I've been

I have a daughter.

Well, at least I was smart enough not to have sex in high school.

You had a choice.

Okay,

okay, okay, enough.

You guys have done nothing but argue since you've been up here. You're not

listening to each other.

You know what?

Let's try something new.

Oh, look at this, Dwayne. She's been in your closet.

These are role -playing puppets.

Why do I have to be the princess, though? Maybe because you act like one.

Oh, well, at least I'm taller than the puppets. Oh, wait a second.

Boys,

boys, boys, boys.

Stop acting like children and put your puppets on.

Okay, they'll free you to hear each other's perspective without judgment.

Now, Dwayne, using the frog, express how Flex sounds to you.

I'm Flex Washington.

I know everything.

I'm smart, sexy, and handsome.

I love solving everybody's problems.

Not only do I catch flies, I am flying.

Holler at your amphibian. Now that.

Now, Flex.

How did it make you feel hearing Dwayne?

Hi, I'm Dwayne. I have bad ideas and no game.

Like the time when I wanted to open a restaurant and serve all these chicken

pots and call it Beats and Feats.

Let's try coming from a place of understanding, not judgment.

That wasn't me. That was the princess.

You know what?

Man, this isn't therapy. This is ghetto Sesame Street.

All right.

Well, let's just hit it straight on, then. You think Dwayne getting married

bad idea. Why? I think he's rushing into it. What if she breaks his heart again?

Well, that's a risk Dwayne is willing to take. But who's going to have to be

there to pick up the pieces, huh?

Me. Look at him, Danielle.

There's a lot of pieces there. And they're all heavy.

He's not thinking. He's just going to run off and get married and... You know

what? Never mind. This is just stupid.

No, no. No, go ahead. Finish your thought.

I don't know.

Leave, I guess.

Is that what's been bothering you? You're afraid you're going to be alone?

Yeah. No. I mean, I don't know.

If things are just moving so fast.

I mean, one minute we're in high school. The next minute, my daughter's going

off to college and my best friend's getting married.

Come on, Flexman.

I mean, I'm getting married, not going to prison.

Brother, you have no idea what marriage is, do you?

Come on, Flex.

Man, you know me better than anybody.

Man, and even though you make the big bucks, you know, and you get all the

women, and you have the slight advantage in the looks department, and I do mean

slight because, you know, you ain't got all this.

Man, you never left me behind.

And you know what?

I'd never leave you, man.

Thank the...

It's that one guy that jumps out the window that ends up on Oprah.

Oh, so, uh, tell us, how did that make you feel? Talk to the frog.

Uh, Mary, I need to talk to you.

Okay. Oh, here, take this.

I like roughnecks, but you're a little too rough. You cut me.

Okay. Let's make this quick while he greets him up.

All right, Arnaz is really mad at me, and I don't know what to do.

Dump him. He's a jerk.

Spirit, he's not a jerk. He's just acting like a jerk right now. He's under

lot of pressure.

I don't care. This has been coming for a long time.

And I've only been putting up with him because of you.

But you guys have been friends since you were kids.

Well, I guess I've outgrown him. But if you insist on staying with him, act like

a supportive girlfriend and apologize.

You just need to say that.

Yo, baby doll.

All this softness is going away.

Ooh, I gotta go.

Brianna, what are you doing here?

Arnaz, I need to talk to you. About what?

How much you don't like my music?

No, see... Can you please put a shirt on so I can focus?

Look, I know how important the Battle of the Bands is to you, and I'm sorry for

making you feel like I wasn't being supportive.

That's fine, but I can't believe you're dancing to A -Train's music.

Well, I can't apologize for that. I like his music.

Can't we like different things?

Brianna, he's my competition.

I'm not voting for him, Arnaz.

I support you.

That's what couples do.

I don't agree with you not going to college, but I support you.

I don't agree with you hiring Charlie, but I support you.

I don't agree with you using old baloney as coasters, but I support you.

Dang, what do you like about me?

Well, you can take your shirt off again. I like that.

Look, the point is, it's not about all that stuff. It's about us.

And I will always be there for you.

Thanks, baby.

And how about this shirt?

I never thought Spirit would sell me out.

Stop, Arnaz.

Spirit has been a good friend and a good person.

Think about all the stuff that we've been through together.

You should want her to be happy.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Time is dumping on her anyway.

Hey, Spirit, listen.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do, Arnaz. Listen to A -Train.

Come on, Spirit. You and I are cracking each other all the time.

It's what we do. We've been doing this since we were three years old.

Everybody used to dog my yogi bear pajamas, along with some little footies

them. You weren't three. You were 14 on it.

If you don't mind, I'm trying to watch my boyfriend.

Yeah, we'll talk.

Okay, he's done. Can we talk now?

Now let's bring up our last fan.

I guess I can't call you rock and blows anymore.

Congratulations.

Hey, I have an idea.

You both rocked it. Why don't we go to my dad's restaurant and celebrate?

What do you say, Spirit?

Maybe another time.

Come on, Spirit. I'm trying to be cool here.

Well, it's a little too late for that.

And if you'll excuse me, I've got a train to catch.

Baby, the boy is paying.

I don't need his free crabs or his company.

Spirit, wait.

Look, Brianna, like I said, we'll always be cool.

You're my girl.

But Arnaz?

Look, I'll call you later, okay?

Come on, baby.

Say yes.

I got an 800 -square -foot lily pad right on the lake.

So if I kiss you, do you promise to turn into a prince?

Because I don't want to hook up with a horny toad.

How about an excited frog?

Uh,

it didn't work.

You're still a frog.

Look a little higher. You'll find your prince.

Look at your watch.

You find your hours up.

Love you too, Netta.