Original subtitles

Hey, Bree. You heading to school?

Yep. I like to get to English Lit early, otherwise I have to sit next to the boy

who smells like feet.

How about you guys sit next to Arnaz?

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Daddy.

And here I was thinking I wouldn't have anything to write in my Daddy Be Hatin'

journal.

Hey, hey, now, Danielle gave us those therapy journals for us to communicate

with each other, not to discuss Arnaz and spunky feet.

Oh, I'm communicating.

What are you writing down?

Uh, uh, uh.

You'll find out tomorrow in therapy when I read it to Danielle.

Oh, fine then. You gonna write something and I'm gonna write something about you

then.

Wait a minute, what you writing? Yeah, show me yours first.

You show me yours and then I'll show you mine.

I love my daughter.

She's thoughtful, generous, sweet, and nice.

I should probably get this back from you.

She called me Denzel on crack.

I didn't sleep at your house until you and your mom were humming at the moon

night.

Humming at the moon?

Spirit, that's not going to get you a man. That's going to get you a werewolf.

For your information, humming connects your chakras to the power of the moon.

It gives you energy and awakens your spirit.

It awakens the whole neighborhood.

I've got to find another place to stay.

Well, I hate to bring this up, but don't you think you should call your father?

My dad?

It's not going to happen.

He's still mad at me because I chose to live with my mom.

But, Arnaz, this is different. You have nowhere to go.

Look, all my dad cares about is his business and keeping his new wife

in Hello Kitty.

Look, Arnaz, stop tripping. You can still stay with us.

No, I can't. It's not the homeless, it's the voodoo.

I saw your mama take a hair out of my brush.

Ow!

See?

I gotta find another place to crash.

Have you seen my thesaurus? I need about a thousand more words for teenage pain

in the butt.

Flex, everybody knows dinosaurs are extinct.

So is your brain.

Where'd you get all this stuff from, man? What, did you win the Showcase

Showdown on Pep My Ride?

Yo, check it out. This is my inventory for my new business.

D's, dubs, and subs.

It's a combination of deli and rim shop. Our motto is, enjoy a sub while we hook

up your dubs.

And my motto is, that's stupid.

Dwayne, how can you afford to open a shop? Man, one of these rims costs as

as this building.

That's why it's good to have high friends in low places.

Remember my ex -girlfriend Beatrice?

Oh, you mean the big girl who whispered in bass?

She did have a Barry White thing going on.

She also had Adam's apple, but that's besides the point.

Anyways, she's hooked up with all these government auctions, man, and I got all

this stuff at a great price.

Unfortunately, now... Most of my savings are spent.

Oh, see, that's what me and my wife, we get up out of here.

Listen, listen, dog. This is my opportunity to be my own boss.

It's a shame I can't depend on you for my own independence.

Come on, Dwayne. You're Donald Trump without the hairpiece.

Remember that last idea?

Black baby powder.

Oh, so black man is supposed to only use white baby powder.

There ain't no man that's supposed to be using baby powder.

But, Flex, think about it, man. All you have to be is a silent partner.

You know what? Let's see what the spinners have to say.

What'd they say?

Hell no!

What are you doing in the hallway with just a towel on?

That's not true.

I got rope -a -soap.

What is all this in your lap?

Have you been sleeping here at school?

Look, just last night, since my mother and I got evicted, I came to your place

to crash.

Please don't tell anyone.

I know that your mom is away, recovering from her drinking problem, but is there

any way that you can stay with your father?

You know, why does everyone want me to go running to my dad?

He knows what I'm going through.

Why doesn't he call to see how I'm doing for once?

Maybe he doesn't know the number to your locker.

I must give him a call. He can't help you if he doesn't know that you need it.

The only person my dad is interested in helping is himself.

Well, I'm afraid that you don't have a choice.

If you sleep here again, I have to report you.

Hey, Flex, wait up. Check it out.

I want to show you the blueprints for D's, Dubs, and Thumbs.

Pardon myself, man. It was good.

That's great, man. Looks like it's all coming together, man. Good luck with

that. Come on, Flex.

Man, you know you want a part of the action.

Oh, what I really want is a piece of that sandwich. That's with cheese?

Well, actually, it's a provolone.

I'm importing it from Provo.

But this is not about cheese.

Man, this is about me asking you for help.

Come on, Flex. For once, support me. All right, this is my chance. My coup de

ville.

Don't you mean your coup de grace?

Will you stop talking about cheese?

Every time I have an idea, you squash it.

Just like that time back in the middle.

fresh. If you get squirted, then everybody else will want it. Because

man, Blackie.

Then we'll be paid in full.

Well, I am drying out.

But that's why I carry my own.

See ya.

Wouldn't want to be ya.

Maybe if you would have helped me out, I'd be a different man today.

Dwayne, you couldn't be more different.

Hey, here we are.

Don't worry, boo. Everything's going to be okay.

My dad's not exactly on my favorite personal list, but what choice do I

Either this or drink goat's blood and spirits.

We do that one time, and all of a sudden we're the goat blood.

I ought to put some pants on.

Well, come on in, guys.

Son, what happened to your leg?

Tripping of all those hearts you've been breaking?

No, Dad, I leave that to you.

Remember Brianna and Spirit, right?

Oh, yeah, sure I do.

So, Spirit, is your family still drinking goat's blood?

So is your mom still in drunk camp?

She's at Aunt Sonia's now.

Ah, Aunt Sonia.

Yeah, you know, she was almost your mother.

But that's another story.

So, uh, how do you guys like the place? I decorated this myself.

It's real nice.

Would have been nicer if I'd seen it a year ago when you moved in.

Well, Tony, it takes a lot of time to bring all this together.

So, uh, what brings you guys by, unannounced?

Well, until my mom gets back on her feet, I'm gonna need a place to stay.

Oh, really?

Well, uh, let me give you a hand.

Have a seat.

We'll do some brainstorming, okay?

I got nothing.

I told you guys this was a waste of time. Come on, let's go.

No, no, Arnaz, wait.

Mr. Ballard, Arnaz has no place to go.

He's been sleeping in his locker.

And I know you guys haven't talked in a while, but he needs you.

Is this true, son?

I don't sleep in the locker.

I sleep against it.

Wow.

So you want to stay with me?

That's a switch.

Okay, that's fine.

But I have some rules, okay?

You see that blue cup over there on the bar? Uh -huh.

That's mine.

Don't ever touch it, and I mean ever.

Don't use any towels except for the brown ones.

Don't ask why.

And the front door, it stays locked after 10 o 'clock because that's lovin'

time, and I don't get up.

Hey, speaking of lovin', sweetie, you remember my son Arnaz?

I sure do, you little cutie.

Now I don't have to tell you the rules about your stepmother, do I?

Hi, I'm his girlfriend, Brianna.

And this is Spirit.

Your senior year, I was in your Spanish class.

That's right.

Oui, oui.

I'm off to the gym.

Once you turn 21, a girl has got to start watching her figure.

Oh, baby, that's my job.

Bye -bye.

Oh, boy.

Oh, sorry.

All right, lads, there is one more rule.

Nobody lives here for free, including her.

So, after school, I want you to come and work for me at Crab in a Barrel.

But, Dad, after school is when I work on my music.

You still doing that music crap?

Man, I knew living with your mother was going to make you soft.

Son, crabs is your future.

It's the family empire.

Hey, look, here's one of our new buttons.

Ask me about my crabs.

I don't get it.

Well, it's a joke, son. It's play on words.

Okay, you know, we'll start you washing dishes.

Look, Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't want to run a crab empire.

I'm a musician.

Look, son, maybe if you were like Al Green, but, you know, you're not even

Mitch Green.

You remember Mitch Green, the little kid who lived down the street, played

clarinet, he had a really hot mom?

You know, she was almost your mother, too.

Look, Dad, I kind of already made up my mind.

All right.

You want to find your own way?

You find your own way.

You know what, Dad? I'm going to find my way just fine.

I'm going to keep doing it.

I'm out of here.

I want you to tune it into the bedroom.

The swing set?

Nice.

I'm sorry, Mr. Knox, but I'd be more than happy to write your company a check

for one million dollars if only you had one more investor. Say, a local

celebrity, perhaps.

Huh. Well, I don't know any local celebrities.

Oh! Hey, Flex.

Nice try, Dwayne. Man, you can't guilt me into investing in your company.

And, Jordy, my pizza was cold last time. I want five bucks off the next one.

Hey, you know him?

Oh, Jordy.

Hey, Daddy, we was just waiting for you.

Were you waiting for me to wipe the lip gloss off Arnaz's neck?

No, seriously, Daddy, Arnaz needs your help.

Why do I have to help him?

Arnaz's father won't let him stay at his place because he doesn't want to go

into the crab business with him. Yeah.

Look at the button he wants me to wear.

That's funny.

Ask me about my crabs.

Everybody gets it but me.

Dad, you can talk to Arnaz's father because you're a parent who understands

kid in their dreams.

Yeah. Brianna wants to be an actress and you support her.

Now, after she ran away to New York.

Okay, I probably shouldn't have brought that up.

I'm glad that you did, because it makes it easy for me to say no.

Fine. Where's my journal? Oh.

Hey, what are you doing?

I just thought about something else I don't like about you.

You don't like to help people.

Hey, that's not fair. Those journals are supposed to be for you and me, not

other people.

Daddy, Arnaz isn't other people. Arnaz is family.

Just please help him for me.

Baby, couldn't you just find a boyfriend with a home?

Or a job, or a functional family, or two good legs.

Now that you hear that lie, that boy does need help.

All right, Arnaz, look, I'll talk to your father.

Oh, thanks, Daddy. You're the best. Don't hug me. Put it in your journal.

You serving papers?

No, hi, Mr.

Ballard. I'm Flex Washington.

Oh, hey, Flex Washington from the Flex Files.

Hey, flat out.

Hey,

did I win something? Because if I did, I should probably put some pants on, huh?

Uh, no, I'm here to talk to you about your son. He's dating my daughter,

Brianna. And, yeah, I would appreciate it if you could put some pants on.

All right, come on in.

Ooh, who's your roommate, man?

Undercover brother?

High five, brother.

Please, these are antiques.

Look, I'm just going to get straight to the point.

I didn't have to stay in my apartment because you kicked him out.

No, no, I did not kick him out. He walked out.

He made a choice, just like he did before.

I gave him the opportunity to learn a business from the ground up.

He could be out there giving the whole world crabs right now.

We're talking about the business, right?

Val, Arnaz is 18.

He still has a few years to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his

life.

You know, Flex, you sound just like his mother.

She babied that boy.

I'm trying to make him into a man.

Do you know what I was doing when I was his age?

Walking around in your drawers?

I wish.

No, I was working on a crab boat at 6 in the morning every day, trying to make

enough money to take care of my mom and my sisters after my dad left us.

And now, 25 years later, I own three Crab in a Barrel restaurants.

Now, I really love that place, man. Y 'all need to stay open later.

No, brother, we close at 10.

Anyways, I offered Arnaz all of that, and he turned me down.

Second time, he said no to me.

So, fine, if he wants to find his own way in the world, let him go.

Well, he's trying to do that.

And at the very least, you should support him. And who knows? He may still

up with crabs.

We're talking about the business, right?

Look, the bottom line is, Mr. Ballard, Arnaz needs you.

All right, I'll give the boy a call.

Maybe we can work something out.

Good. Good.

I'm just here to help family, that's all.

That's beautiful, Flex.

Well, it's 10 o 'clock.

My wife's in the other room setting up.

So, you know, you don't have to go home, but... Oh, setting up.

All right. All right, brother. Now you're wasting time.

Oh, man.

Now, always wanted red shoes.

I love what you haven't done to the place.

Hello, Flex.

You know, if you came down here to insult me, I'd rather you wait till I

home.

What are you doing?

Man, I got $20 ,000 burning a hole in my pocket.

What should I do with it?

That's a lot of money, Flex.

Probably shouldn't carry it around in this neighborhood.

Wait a minute.

You believe in my dream?

No, man, I believe in you.

And besides, I owe you for all those times I said no.

You know, that's not the way you treat family.

You consider me family?

Until you lose my money, then you're dead to me.

Hey, thanks.

Partner.

So,

uh, you're really going with red, huh? Silent, partner.

Talk with the brush.

I just got home and you're already writing.

Let me guess.

You don't like the way I walk?

No, Daddy. I was just writing in my journal that I like what you did for

Well, I'm good.

Did you put that in your journal? That I'm good?

Yes, I did.

All right, Daddy. I'm about to go help Arnaz move into his apartment.

You mean it's Dad's place, right?

Oh, no. Mr. Ballard decided to give Arnaz his own apartment.

And it's all because of you.

is not interrupting loving time.

Wait a minute. Arnaz has his own apartment?

Yeah, Daddy.

Oh, I'll probably be home a little late because we're going to be doing it all

night long. What?

I'll be home a little late because we're probably going to be cleaning it all

night long. The place is a mess. See ya.

Oh.

Oh, Lord.

Dear Journal.

Love you too, Netta.