Original subtitles

Man, it says right here that P. Diddy made $150 million from Sean John.

Everyone's getting paid to start their own clothing line.

Eve, Gwen Stefani, Master P, Gary Coleman.

Oh, yeah, I heard about that. The what you talking about collection.

You know what? We should start our own clothing line.

Yeah, our own clothing line.

Spirit, you can do the designing, and Arnez and I can do the selling. We'll

it Boo Boo. Buy us, buy us.

Give us some money.

Oh, okay.

No, Daddy, I'm serious. We want to start our own clothing line. Yeah, we're

going to be millionaires, and I'm going to do the design.

What? With the way you dress?

Oh, I'm sorry. You're serious.

Daddy, you always said that a person who aims at nothing has an easy target to

hit at.

Help us this out.

Why don't you aim yourself at a grammar book?

Hello? Hey, what's up, Pop?

Can't I wait till I get off work?

Okay, okay, all right, all right.

All right, enjoy Old Faithful.

No, not Mom the Geyser.

Hey, Dwayne, you remember that list of complaints that the barbers gave me?

Well, apparently, Andy sent a copy to my dad, and none of it can wait till I get

off work.

Okay, Daddy, back to me. I'm trying to tell you I believe I can fly.

Sweetie, with the grades you get.

I'm happy you can walk.

You three disgust me.

This coming from a guy who brushes his teeth with his finger?

They say that success is 10 % inspiration and 90 % perspiration. And I

anybody up in here sweating.

Except for me. I just came from playing a little basketball.

They let you play this time?

I didn't say it was my sweat.

Look. Let me explain capitalism to you tykes, all right? You guys have a great

idea, but no capital. I have capital, but no idea.

Now, how can I exploit, I mean, help you?

Ooh, Delilah, this money is wet.

Now, that is my sweat.

Uh -oh.

Sometimes in life, you can be alone by yourself.

But I have a partner, but I can't trust no one else.

All I'm saying is we can't keep working like this.

Six months since Flex has been in charge and everything is just falling apart.

You're right. Our towels aren't getting cleaned in a timely enough fashion.

We're constantly lowering our supplies.

And he still hasn't fixed that barber's chair.

What barber's chair?

Yo, I say we go on strike until all our needs are met.

How much money we got in that strike fund? The strike fund got absorbed by

Krispy Kreme fund.

Which got absorbed by me.

Well, when Flex gets here, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind and let him

know that this is just all wrong.

What's wrong?

Poverty, world hunger, the Green Party, all wrong.

What's wrong with you, baby?

Oh, my backside's a little sore from a long -distance butt -kicking, thanks to

that list you sent my dad.

Hey, what happened to the chair, Walt?

Man, I fell out of that chair and it messed up my neck.

I can't move it.

Feels like at least $2 ,000 worth of damage.

Oh, there's your bookie. Where? Uh -huh, that's what I thought.

I know I've been letting things go around here lately, but things have been

crazy at work ever since they hired that new sidekick, Harley.

Oh, poor Flex.

The little loco TV celebrity has two jobs and he can't handle them.

Don't say that. I can handle it. You want to know why?

Because I'm a Barnes.

And what's the name of this shop?

Fat Heads.

Before that, people, it was called Barnes and Sons.

Hello, I'm one of the sons.

This barbershop has been in my family for 50 years, and I'm not letting it go

down.

Or my daddy's going to be real mad at me.

Will, what do you think of Spirits' new design?

I call them Sprousers.

Huh.

I like it.

Pants with sneaker boots all in one.

A little snug, but it does make my booty look good.

So, how much money do we have left over? Well, let's see. With threads, laces,

and fabric, we're $10 over budget. What?

$10? No, no, we've got to shut the factory down and move to Mexico. Come

Vamanos. Bingo.

Wait. You know what? Calm down. You'll pop your pants.

Okay. All right. Here it is. All right.

What we need to do is create a product that we can mass produce cheaper.

All right? Now, I'm willing to plant a little more seed money, but you farmers

need to make it grow.

Ooh, somebody answer the phone. My toes are swelling.

Hello?

Dang, I missed it again.

I hate this new phone.

I can never find it when it's in my purse, and I don't have any pockets on

skirt. I have an easier time keeping track of my hat.

Too bad your phone wasn't in your hat.

Shoes with coasters.

So that when you put your feet on the table, you won't leave a ring with a

drink.

I thought for sure you were going to say hats with pockets for your cell phone.

And the shoelaces are straws.

Now, makeup, hair, wardrobe, I'm here.

Well, look who decided to show up for his four o 'clock broadcast. I'm sure

have an excuse that's as legitimate as the child my husband had with his

mistress.

I do. I had to handle some business. It's nothing for you to worry about.

important is that I'm here and I'm ready to do my thing. Speaking of things,

where's Holly?

She's off putting together a story for your flex file. She's on location at the

Eastminster Dog Show. Oh, is she undercover as a silicone schnauzer?

Instead of making digs at Holly, you should be checking your copy. We've made

some changes.

I'll be fine.

I do sports three times a day. I just read the teleprompter. Well, much like

your afternoon audience and my Botox injections, it's no longer working.

Have a good show.

Hello?

Walt, I don't have time for this.

Look, if you can't find a comb... Use a fork, man.

Ten seconds.

Got to go.

And in five, four, three.

The city of Baltimore threw a parade to honor its native sons.

Hall of Famer Brooks Robinson.

We Baltimoreans sure know how to party.

Open up!

Then in NASCAR, driver Ricky Gill was critically injured in the sixth lap of a

time trial.

Marching on to our next story, the workforce ravens held tryouts for their

beautiful cheerleaders today.

Woof, woof, indeed.

With this crop of beauties, who'll be watching the game?

We'll be right back with scores and highlights after these messages.

Way to go, Dan Rather, not.

What are you talking about? You just witnessed... Ten years of broadcast

excellence under pressure, baby.

See? They can't teach that.

No, but they can fire you for it.

This is why I came down here? Huh? This? I came down here to fix the sink and

it's just a clump of hair?

And you guys know I have a six o 'clock broadcast. Why couldn't one of you have

done it? Because it's nasty.

And I don't think that's hair.

You know what, people?

I'm not going to be responsible for everything that goes wrong around here.

Flex, you're the manager. Who else are we going to call when stuff goes wrong?

Yeah, manager. Why don't you start managing?

Oh, you want me to manage? Okay.

I'll start managing.

Ace, you're in charge of the towels and the barbie capes. Candy, you handle the

money. Walt, you're responsible for sweeping up around here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What am I responsible for?

You know what? There's an easy way to keep track of all this.

I'm going to make a chore chart.

Chore chart?

Yeah.

Man, that takes me back to my days in that foster home.

Yo, can I get in charge of the smokes and whiskey? Because I was good at that.

Say, fly guy, I'm surprised by now you haven't spanked my bottom and called me

man candy.

Now I'm starting to understand why this is your third station in three months.

You're talking about the interview.

What interview?

The one with R &B sensation Anthony Hamilton.

It's my idea, I thought, of that segment, Celebrities Who Like Sports. I

you about it.

Flex, if we're going to work together, we need to communicate, okay?

Okay, I'll communicate this. I already have a show prepared, and your idea is

stupid. Nobody cares about... Hey, Anthony!

How you doing, man? I'm doing well, man. All right, get yourself some sit -down,

man. In five, four, three...

Welcome to the Flex Files. Joining us today out of left field is Anthony

Hamilton. So, Ant, I hear you're a big sports fan.

Well, actually, I'm here to promote my new album. If you don't mind, I'd like

bless the audience with my new single, Coming From Where I'm From.

Well, actually, Ant, this is a sports show, and you... Well,

well... Yeah,

I guess I didn't make... Got time and authority to tell.

Started when I was nine years old.

Woke up, my daddy was gone.

I started hustling, they couldn't tell me nothing.

Fussing in the hood, trying to be somebody.

My soul was on that bed.

I was searching for something.

I tried to be good.

I tried to keep control.

Ace, what do you want now? Living too fast, yeah, yeah.

The barbershop got robbed.

Beautiful song, brother. We'll be right back.

Keep safe.

He took my nails, Dwayne. The good

ones. The curved ones with the fake diamonds in them.

The Friday night nails.

We got curved nails, fake diamonds.

We know one thing.

The thief had a hoochie girlfriend.

Put out an APB on all hoochies.

Don't worry, Candy.

We've got plenty of those fancy nails stuck in my headboard.

I'm going to go home and start pulling them out for you.

Officer, who could have done this?

Well, there's no sign of forced entry.

Looks like the door was left wide open. That's insane.

I mean, who would be stupid enough to leave the door un... Excuse me.

Who was in charge of lockup and forgot to do it?

Hmm? Come on now, be in the door. All right, that's it.

Everybody, break out your chore chart. Come on. Break it out. Come on.

The irresponsible individual who was supposed to lock up was, uh... Oh!

What's the sense of finger -pointing?

Uh, Flex, it says you are the one who's supposed to lock up.

Hey, hey, that's finger -pointing. When you point one finger, there's three

pointing back at you.

Huh. That's true.

Yo, that's Steve Fleck.

By the way, Mr. Washington, did you know that your business license has expired?

Business license?

I have a business license?

Well, not anymore.

It's been expired for six months now.

And by law, I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you to the State Inspections

Department. Oh, come on. You're not going to shut me down, are you?

Look, we can work this out somehow.

Have you met Candy?

Actually, no.

I'll tell you what, since I'm such a fan of your show, I'll hold the paperwork

back a week.

I may be an officer of the law, but I can be a little naughty.

Okay, Candy, now you're responsible for renewing the business license. I don't

want to be in charge. Look, I'll give you an extra $50.

$50? I can't be bought.

I make it 75.

Well, at least I can get my cable turned back on at my house. All right,

everybody, get to moving, get to moving.

Thanks for the city. Here I come.

I can't believe you all did not sell one phone hat yesterday at school.

It's not our fault, Dwayne. People just don't like our invention.

Maybe they just don't like you.

Dwayne, what's your point?

Oh, no.

Didn't. Didn't like that, did you?

What'd you think?

I'm a salesman. I'm used to it.

Look, every one of those no's is like somebody spitting in your face.

Right now, the three of you are dripping in saliva.

Wait, how are we supposed to get someone to buy something they don't want?

Brianna, why do you wear that lip gloss?

You look like you ate a pork chop without using your hands.

Now, Arden, why do you wear that sweater?

Two words, Freddy Krueger.

And Spirit, maybe just why.

I'll tell you why. Because some advertiser told you to.

And that's what you need to do down at your school. See, sales is all about

making people think they need something they don't have.

I mean, create a frenzy.

I mean, you know, get some wheels and a trumpet and create a bandwagon.

Then we go town to town playing music and selling hats?

It's a metaphor.

All right. Now go sell some hats so we can get you into a better school. Go on.

Oh, Candy, what are all these people doing here?

Well, when I went down to renew the license, they said there were a couple

things that needed to be brought up to code. So since you put me in charge, I'm

handling it.

Look at you handling things.

I'm going to start calling you Handy Candy.

You see that? You two need to take notes from her.

Hey, Flex, you should see these plans. The shop's going to look fabulous.

I ain't gonna start telling people I work here.

Hey, man, Katie's putting in all -copper piping, Hunter Douglas ceiling fence,

Mexican tile in the bathroom.

You know they make that in Mexico, right?

All right, that sounds good and all, but how much is all this gonna cost?

With materials and labor, a mere $30 ,000.

A mere $30 ,000?

Well, is Amir gonna fly down here on his magic carpet and pay for it?

Like you don't understand, sweetie, it's Mexican tile?

Katie. I put you in charge because I thought as a woman, you could use your

feminine wiles to get us a good deal.

Not on my cousin.

Child, he ain't looked at me like that since I was a kid.

Your cousin is a contractor?

All right, you no longer in charge. That's it.

Look, I have no time for this, y 'all. I got to be to work in ten minutes.

Who am I going to get to run this place?

Now, Flex, we have a problem.

It's not that bad.

Ow, I'm suing.

Not to mention, it's a great way to show off your guns.

Geraldine, sorry, I know I missed my broadcast, but I couldn't help it.

It's the barbershop.

Things are falling apart.

Well, I feel for you, Flex.

Which means my medication must be wearing off. Get me my meds!

Look, Flex, you're going to have to make a choice, all right? The barbershop or

your job.

Geraldine, it's not that easy.

This barbershop has been in my family for years.

My grandfather passed it on to my father, my father passed it on to me,

having a hard time keeping it running.

That is so sad.

Geraldine, just give me a few more days. I promise I can juggle through this.

Do you understand what I'm going through?

This barbershop is my birthright.

Yeah, it's your birthright. Yeah.

U .S., one more broadcast, I'm putting you back in the field.

Ah, the good people of Pfizer have set me straight once again.

What do you guys want now?

Uh, row boats, Flex.

When I left, the plumber was here. What happened?

Oh, it was a money issue.

He wanted something. We didn't have any.

Listen, y 'all, my neck is on the line at WYNX. I'm this close to having to

cover the Chesapeake tournament again.

You guys have any idea what it's like to cover a fish tournament and talk to

fishermen? Rewarding.

Exciting. No, fishy!

And I'm not... This is for you. It's your dad.

Hey, Dad.

Yet, I know the license has expired.

But how did you know the ceiling fell in?

But I'm handling it.

But how did you know we got robbed?

And what?

Dad, are you sure you want to do that?

Okay, it's your decision.

All right, bye.

What was that about, Flex?

My dad thinks I can't handle managing the shop, so he's selling the

Hey, hey, hey, what is so funny? Look at this place. Ain't nobody going to buy

it.

Ooh,

our sets are a hit. We made 500 bucks. Well, hold on. Let's tell Duane we only

made 75.

Tired of cell phones on your waist, jabbing you in your side? Ow!

Ow!

Is that Duane? Well, I have a brand new invention, and I'm so excited!

From the brain of Duane O'Dell Knox, I bring you a hat that holds your cell

phone. I call it the...

15 callers get a

Love you too, Netta.