Original subtitles

Rihanna, this place is a mess.

Now I need you to carry your weight. This is supposed to be a partnership.

Well, a true partner would help clean up. Those aren't my toenail clippings.

Yo, you might want to see a foot doctor.

Yo, you might want to see yourself out.

Look, Rih, I would help you clean, but I have to cover this game. I'm tracking

another hot story. Ooh, can you bring some hot dogs back?

Okay, now you really got to go. Come on. Come on.

Oh, thanks, dog.

Play up.

Guess where I just came from?

Rapper school?

No.

I just had a meeting with Big Sal.

You were looking at the man who was going to write the radio jingle for Big

Sal's used car commercial.

That still doesn't explain why you dress like a gangster smurf.

I got a little advance in pay. The music business can be very lucrative.

More money, no problems.

Well, you don't know anything about music. Yeah, I know, man. But I lied to

Sal because I wanted a little extra money and this jacket. Check it out,

Chinchilla. Okay, so what's the Big Blue Eminem gonna do now?

Uh, nothing.

I'm gonna have Arnaz write it.

Hey, uh, Arnaz, you're a talented young musician. How would you like to write a

jingle? Uh, one catch, there's not much money in it. Oh, no problem.

I'll just take that jacket.

All right, no problem. Here you go.

Isn't that really chinchilla? I am!

Hey, what's Jack Crawford doing here?

Well, let's see. This is Crawford Arena, which is next to the Crawford Shopping

Mall, which is near the Crawford Museum.

The more appropriate question is, why am I talking to you?

Hey, Jack.

Swimming with the press? I had a bet with Councilman Harris.

So, uh, you lost that bet, right? Third one I lost to Harris today.

So I'm guessing something's on your mind. You're back to all your old bad

habits, schmoozing city councilmen, biting your nails, playing the ponies.

you know I was playing the ponies again?

You help a jockey into his hummer, they'll tell you anything.

You're an ambitious young man, Flex. I've always liked that about you.

So I'm going to give you the heads up.

The city just agreed to share the cost with me of renovating this whole arena.

That's great.

Do you mind if I put that on tonight's Flex File? Sure, if you want half the

story. By Friday, I'll also know which professional hockey team I'm bringing

That's huge. Hockey in Baltimore?

I'll wait for that story.

Man,

if it isn't my next wife.

Who is that?

Sheila Kerr.

Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila Kirk.

She's the reporter who broke that big ephedrine scandal at Minnesota A &M. Why

is she out here?

She's with the Baltimore Examiner now.

They threw a ton of money at her. Well, it's time to throw a ton of flex at her.

Hi.

Flex Washington, WYNX. Welcome to Baltimore. Thank you.

I've seen your show.

You're good.

You almost... You almost rise above the indolence of a typical TV reporter.

Well, I haven't read you yet, but I've been looking forward to words like

indolence. It's a bit ostentatious.

But I guess that's typical of a newspaper reporter. No offense, though.

Maybe we got off on the wrong foot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why don't you go back over there and stay there?

You don't want me to leave.

You don't know what I want.

You've wanted one thing since the moment our eyes met.

Yeah, that moment back.

My car's outside.

You sure think a lot of yourself, don't you?

Until you, it was the only thing worth thinking about.

No, Flex, I'm not really a first date kind of girl. We haven't had a date yet.

Oh, good.

Then my reputation's saved.

Will you respect me in the morning?

Do you have a Pulitzer?

Yeah, I got a box of them in my sock drawer.

So after I become the best knight of your life, can we have dinner tomorrow

night? Oh, I have to help my son study for an algebra test. Oh, no, no, no. My

daughter's an algebra whiz. She can help him.

but you're also an actress, so just act like you're good at algebra.

But we had an agreement, partner. I don't set you up with my friends' moms,

I don't have to be buddy -buddy with your girlfriend's kids, especially dumb

kids.

He's not dumb. His mom says he's a sweet kid with a great personality.

He sounds fat.

Fifteen bucks an hour.

But two of them is something you know nothing about.

Oh, good point. More work for me. Twenty.

Hey. Hey, Flex.

This is my son, Eric. Hey, what's up, man?

Whoa. Is that my soda?

Yep. That's the algebra, Wiz.

Okay, come on. We don't want to be late for our reservations.

What's up, shawty?

Look, if you have a laptop, my mom got me the CD -ROM for inner -city kids.

algebra for algebra.

That's if we get around to studying.

I'll go get my dad's laptop.

Oh, and by the way, if you lay a hand on me, you'll find your fingers algebraic.

Okay.

Oh, Arnaz, there you are. I was tweezing my shoulders when a jingle just came to

me. All right, how's this?

Honk, honk. Who's there?

A car. A car who?

At Big Sal.

Look, I'm the artist, and it's wannabes like you that have turned today's

jingles into the cookie -cutter commercial garbage they are today. Hey,

commercial, silly Joel.

And did you guys read the examiner? Real estate mogul Jack Crawford will

renovate Crawford Arena to help lure a hockey team to Baltimore.

This was my scoop, and Sheila beat me to it, man. How did she do that?

Oh, let's see. She's beautiful with a banging body and is a massive

just like you.

Look at you. She's got your nose wide open.

Grounded.

Oh, poor predictable daddy. He can never see around those soft, soft curves.

Grounded, grounded, grounded.

Hey. Oh, hey.

You scooped me.

Mm -hmm. I read the paper. So tell me, who's your source?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. A good journalist never reveals her source.

Ooh, you look good in the morning.

I always look better after I work hard all night.

I thought you were going to meet me at the stadium. Oh, yeah, but Eric got to

on his algebra test thanks to Brianna.

So I was hoping we could get a little more one -on -one time.

Oh, look, you've got some jelly right there. Oh, ooh.

Oh, man.

Uh,

Brianna?

Uh, would you mind helping the jelly?

I mean the boy, the boy.

Yeah, sure, I'll help him.

Let's just hope he's graded on a curve.

A dangerous curve.

The kind of curve that we... I get the curve.

I seem

to have a little something on my face.

However, will I get it off?

Like this.

So,

X equals 2, right?

Uh, yeah, yeah, go with that.

I think I'm getting this. Mind if I try to film my own?

Yeah, go ahead.

He's so cute.

He's a freshman.

So? And he's stupid.

Hey, look, I need to make a phone call. I'm going to step outside.

I'd like you to step into my world.

You think he has a girlfriend?

He can't even spell girlfriend. Stop hating on my man.

Let's go see who he's talking to.

Hello? Hey, Mom, it's me.

Oh, hi.

Sis?

Is everything okay?

I just read an email on Flex's laptop from Jack Crawford. He's bringing the

owner of the new hockey team to the arena for a tour and a meatlet.

Hmm.

Well, that little... Wait till my daddy hears about this.

My Romeo have no limits.

So hot.

Hello?

but he's trying to... Baby, that's great, but I have to talk to you later.

Woo! Oh, you a naughty girl.

Uh, bye, baby.

But, Daddy... The man trying to warn my partner about the woman he's seeing, and

he disses me. I bet you this is how Matt Damon felt.

Such a rough neck.

But I could be the sandpaper scarf that he needs.

Yeah, Sheila's got a headache.

Maybe you should steal a couple of aspirin before you leave.

I'll call you tomorrow, see how you feel. Oh, baby, that's so sweet. But

call you.

Rihanna, would you be comfortable with calling Sheila, Mommy?

a moving van, or an ambulance.

Daddy, we need to talk.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You're not getting any more money just because you had a

breakthrough with little Sling Blade.

Daddy, while you were taking care of business, I was trying to call you and

you that Eric stole your story off your laptop.

What story?

The one where you're going to the arena tomorrow morning to meet the owner of

the new hockey team.

How did you know about that?

We heard my new boyfriend read your email over the phone to his mama.

Ooh, that little...

That must be how she stole my story on the stadium renovation.

FYI, I got a cousin in Philly who could make her disappear.

If Sheila goes to the arena, she'll find out which hockey team is moving to

Baltimore, which means she'll get it in the newspaper before I can get it on the

air. Ooh, she's a low -down... Ooh, she is hot.

She could be the one, baby.

Taking the grass.

Poison. Are you done?

Trouble with a capital T.

So what you gonna do?

You ever heard of the saying, you can't see the forest for the trees?

Yeah, I never understood that. Me either.

But this is what we gonna do. We need to get them over here first thing in the

morning. Are you gonna call her or nudge her?

Stay focused.

Now, you're gonna play the role that you were born to play.

I need you to play crazy.

Yeah, I can do that. Uh -huh, uh -huh.

Let's hear it, baby.

When you need a car and your credit's a par, our prices are the best. You can

put us to the test.

Big sales.

Big sales. Si habla espanol.

It's genius.

It's catchy. It's original art.

You have a gift, son, and we are going to give that gift to the world.

Thanks, Dwayne. Hey, I'm going to get this down to Big Sal right away.

Who was that?

Nobody. I had faith in you all along.

Oh, Flex, is Brianna okay?

Hi. Hi. I'm sorry. She locked herself in the room and just started screaming.

I love you, Eric.

So I figured seeing you would be just what she needed.

Look, I made flashcards, and they're in the shape of hearts because I cut them,

and I cut them some more. All right, all right, all right. You've cut out enough

hearts for one day, baby.

Let's give them some alone time together. Oh, no, no, no. Please.

She's very unstable right now.

You two have fun, okay? Go, go, go, go, go.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

You're not going to break my hearts, are you?

You're going to love this.

Oh, Betty? Yeah, let me help you.

Yeah, one minute.

Yeah,

I'm coming.

Hey, Dwayne.

Bad time?

Yeah, I came for my money. I told you, there's no money in this.

Nice bike, Dwayne.

Yeah, let me get you a 20. We'll be right back.

When you're in the mood for some spicy food and it's Mexican you crave, then

we're all the rave.

Jack's Mexican Grill.

Jack's Mexican Grill. Se habla ingles.

Hey, Arnaz, that's the same jingle I just bought from you.

Oh, and he took my 20. Boys, let's get back here.

So this is an unusual place for a date.

Oh, come on now. Doesn't it smell of stale popcorn and rotting hot dogs?

Feel the sticky cement floor make you feel sexy?

And a little hungry.

I bet they didn't have a presentation like

this for you in Kalamazoo.

Flex, glad you could make it.

I want you to meet Mr. Alex Bellino with the... Milwaukee Blades. Of course.

Nice to meet you, Alex. This is Sheila Kerr of the Baltimore Examiner. Hello,

Sheila. Hi.

Listen, we're taking a tour of the arena. I'm showing Alex some of the

we're going to make.

Why don't you come along?

And you too, Sheila. Oh, no, no, no. I can't. We'd love to.

Let's go, guys. All right.

What are you up to, Flex?

When I'm with you, no good.

So, you have a little thing for me, huh?

Don't worry, you aren't the first baby been in by the E -man's joint.

Listen, E -boy.

Besides being too young, you're a little too shady for me.

What are you talking about?

What about the heart -shaped flashcards? They're better than eyelashes.

I got pink eyes.

But my good eye has been on you. We know you've been stealing stories from my

dad's laptop, so we set you up with a phony email.

The hockey team.

Yep. Right now, my daddy's introducing your mom to the wrong hockey team owner,

and she'll end up printing a bogus story about which team is moving here.

She'll be the laughingstock of Baltimore.

Uh -huh. Me and my daddy played you and your jelly -licking mama.

Uh -uh.

Don't even bother.

I lifted her cell phone out of her purse.

That's right. It's going down right now, and you can't do nothing to stop it.

You are an evil little girl.

We can do some crazy things, you and me.

I'll pass.

Excuse me while I go to the ladies' room.

Oh, and don't do nothing stupid while I'm gone.

Eric?

Eric.

Oh, shit, I called you traffic deck in the bay.

Well, Mr. Valino?

It was a pleasure meeting you, and I'm sure I speak for Baltimore when I say we

look forward to having the Blades move here. Absolutely.

Flex, we'll talk later and let you two get back to your investigative

Oh, that's right. Where were we?

What's going on, Flex?

I thought I was being obvious.

Now am I being clear?

Wait a minute.

I know that you're hot for me.

But you're not that hot for me. You just handed me a great story right on a

silver platter.

Well, actually, it was more like Formica.

You knew I stole your last story.

So you're trying to set me up with this one, get me to print the wrong story.

I kind of get it pretty early to fool you.

But then that would mean that Crawford and Bellino are in on it, and they're

busy to be meddling around with a couple of rival reporters.

Once again, you are too smart for me. So then this is the story, and the Blades

are moving to Baltimore, and you're just trying to psych me out.

You're like a bald sheep. I can't pull the wool over your eyes.

Mom! Mom! What are you doing here, Eric?

It's the setup, Mom. The owner you met isn't the owner that's moving.

Brianna told me everything.

Eric, wait!

You're too late. She already knows.

You got cocky, little mama.

Amateurs always get cocky.

It's okay, baby.

We tried.

Well, you almost had me print that bogus story, Washington.

You're good.

But my seed trumped your seed.

Let's go, Eric.

It's okay. It's all right, baby. It's all right. It's all right.

That plan worked perfectly.

I know. We got her to think the story's fake. Now the scoop is all yours, Daddy.

Yep, I knew she would believe her kid over her own instincts.

Really? How?

Because she trusted her partner.

Something I should have done in the first place.

So welcome to Baltimore, Blades. I'm Flex Washington, and remember, you heard

here first.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

And in basketball, Philadelphia beat Washington in the high school scoring

conference matchup.

What are you doing here, Lois Lane?

I came to apologize.

Yeah, you can apologize all you want to, and it's still not going to make a

difference to me because I just...

Love you too, Netta.