Original subtitles

Girl, I think I should go home.

My throat is all scratchy. It feels like I've been making out with a beehive.

Rihanna, you can't get sick. You're supposed to choose between Josh and

today. I mean, a lot of people are betting on who you choose.

People are betting on me? What people? Little seniors?

Everybody.

Hey, hey, pal.

Where's my money? Okay, if you want that bet on Josh, I would need to see my

money by third period. All right.

Girl, I can't believe you.

I'm faced with making the biggest decision of my life, and could think

how to make money off of it.

Oh, here they come. Okay, the house is closed. No more bets.

Hey, guys.

So who's it going to be, Brianna?

Well, good morning to you, too. I'm doing very well, thanks for asking.

Yes, good morning, Brianna.

Now, who's it going to be?

Look, you guys, I'm kind of losing my voice.

Oh, stop stalling, Brianna.

Look, who's harder you're entering homeroom with?

Mine or his? Speak loudly and enunciate.

When there's no

in her baby book right after my last entry.

Baby rips my heart out when she moves in with Good For Nothing Father.

Is that Brianna's baby book or your baby book? Wah!

Brianna told her daddy. Wah!

Stop. You know what, Mommy?

Add this to your baby book.

Okay, baby. Baby leaves the room before we all end up on cops.

Looks like some... Now that Brianna's... Gone. We need to talk. You always need

to talk.

No, I'm serious, Flex.

I'm moving to Africa.

What do you know?

If you pray for something long enough, then it happens.

Well, if this is true, then one day you'll wake up bald.

Listen, Jaden is shooting a documentary for the Smithsonian, and we're flying

out tomorrow.

And we're going house hunting.

Don't you mean hut hunting?

Brianna staying here.

No, no, no, of course, of course. You know, I don't want to uproot her.

We're kind of roughing it there. You know, there's no beauty salons, no

manicures, no pedicures.

This might be the last time I look this good.

The man looks at Will the Beast all day.

What's one more buffalo?

No, but seriously, I'm happy to see that everything's going so well between you

and Jayden. Well, how's everything going with you and Natalie?

We hit a rough patch last week.

She thinks I have a fear of commitment.

You do. You get the shakes every time a woman gets close to you.

Ha, ha, ha. Well, you're going to be ugly in Africa.

No, I'm not.

Don't worry about Natalie and I. We're way past that. In fact, we're closer

ever.

Here's your jacket, your CDs, and your independence.

Or as I like to call it, one big load of crap.

Hi, Nicole. It's so good to see you. It's good to see you, too.

Oh, guess what, honey? Um, Nicola's moving to South Africa with Jayden.

that great?

Don't. That's wonderful.

Yeah, we're going to be living on a preserve in Sukakuza. Oh, South Africa.

sounds exciting.

It is. Imagine that. A man is not afraid to share his tent.

But, I mean... Tent?

Oh, no, no, no, girl.

We're getting a condo.

Boyfriend got a grant. Okay.

Boyfriend got a condo.

Tell Brianna I'll check in on her later. Sure.

Oh, okay, baby.

I'll tell her. And I love you.

Ooh,

it looks like love to me.

Pay no attention to that. We're getting married.

Really? Well, does she know that?

No, but she's going to feel real bad when she finds out. And the honeymoon is

going to be one big payback.

Where's Outbreak?

She's taking a nap. Dwayne, you can't catch tonsillitis.

Girl, do you know what itis means?

Huh? It's Latin for it is contagious.

Ah, Flex, I picked up that engagement ring just like you asked. Ah, try not to

stare at it too long. It might blind you.

Who's dead grandmother with no taste did you pull that off?

That's a traditional three -carat engagement ring. It's practically

No, it's practically tacky. Mm -hmm. I try to keep telling them that I have a

guy, but you know, Flex, he's all about the bling bling. Oh, it stands.

Look, Flex, let me help you find the right ring. You know, you want something

she'll wear, not put on top of that pyramid in Vegas.

What do you know about rings? Except the one around your tub.

I know that you don't get a good one from a jewelry store in a mall.

Where'd you get that one from, bro?

Doesn't matter. Just help me.

Mmm, cookie dough.

Mmm, chunky monkey.

Okay, um, guys, I'm kind of getting a brain freeze here.

Oh, let me run over your brain for you, baby.

Mm -hmm. If you choose me, you'll get this every day.

Yeah, well, if you choose me, I'll massage you with my shirt off.

Very healthy.

Rihanna, didn't you leave your books on the stoop?

I don't know why you want either one of them. I mean, they're both stupid.

I know, girl, but I'm only 16. I don't have to settle for a small boy until I'm

30.

My man Torian doesn't have a zirconian in the bunch. No.

Yeah.

Not a one. Right.

Um, ooh.

Yes, that one's nice right there. This is going to have all her girlfriends

saying, ooh, that flex.

Flex again.

Bigger isn't always better.

See, you want the ring to be as special as the person who's going to wear it.

Torian, you're the Bling King.

What do you like?

I don't know what I like.

How about a wife who plans a candlelit dinner for you and not her marriage

counselor, huh?

I'm talking about this ring. What do you think?

It really doesn't matter.

She's just going to pawn it after the divorce.

Now, what kind of evil person would pawn their wedding ring?

Me.

Well, I got myself lunch with it. Of course, I had to throw in a quarter to

supersize it.

Hey, I was 18.

Hey!

need to talk. Give me a minute. I'm activating, baby.

So what's up?

Okay.

Remember about three months ago when you sang T .Y .T. to me, told me that you

loved me, and said that if I loved you, I would show you?

Yeah. And you showed me.

Twice.

I'm going to be showing a lot more than that in about six months.

I'm having your baby.

What up, homeboy?

Homegirl? Hey, yo, yo.

Nicole's having a baby.

A baby what?

It is a child.

I got geography.

Man, sounds like you already know where everything ends.

We ended up getting married the day after graduation.

So this is your second marriage, huh?

I would never get on that rocket sled to hell again.

So you don't think I should get married?

Oh, oh, oh, this is the ring.

Oh, look, the setting is antique, and I think Natalie will love it.

And it says, ooh, that flag.

Ah, yeah.

Okay, baby, here's my number in Cucuzza. Now, you have to promise me you're

going to call me every day, right?

Well, Mommy, you're going to be all the way around the world.

Well, baby, if you don't want me to go, I won't go.

No, no, it's not that. I'm happy.

You're going to Africa.

Daddy's talking about getting married.

It's also exciting.

I cover the best broken home in the whole country.

about your father having a new wife?

Well, now he's great. She's great with me, and she's great for Daddy.

Oh, my gosh. You are such a good kid.

You love me best, right?

Always.

Man, I'm gonna propose in a hot air balloon.

It's gonna be perfect.

Strawberries, champagne, electrocution by high -voltage power lines.

I'm telling you, Fletcher, try it my way, all right? A romantic sunset and a

rainbow. While the stars twinkle out, will you marry me, Natalie?

Wayne, that's impossible.

No, no, I got a guy. I'll give him a call.

Oh, Daddy, can I see the ring again?

Oh, it's my precious.

No, it's my precious.

Oh, no, it is beautiful.

Wow.

Maybe someday Jayden will buy me a ring like this.

Yeah. Natalie's gonna love it.

Nicole?

It just feels so nice.

Uh, Nicole?

Huh?

We need to get you to the airport.

Oh, sure. Yeah, give us the ring. Give us the ring. Come on, give us the ring,

doll.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh what?

to come off now.

Okay, you pull, and I'll push with my foot. Go.

Come on.

Come on.

You're hurting me.

Stuck it up.

Oh, I got it, I got it. How about we try some bacon grease?

What happened to your voice?

It's a miracle.

Rihanna, you've been faking this long recovery this past week just to get out

school.

Baby, you know, you're only 16. You know, you're way too young to be in a

committed relationship.

And if you yank my finger like that one more time, I'm gonna slap you in the

back of your head.

Violence never solves anything.

Where's my meat cleaver?

Oh, hey, Dwayne. Hold that evil breath, child.

You gave me the scourge.

Thanks to you, I got a tickle in my throat.

Dwayne, we don't have time for your neurosis. Natalie's ring is stuck on

Nicole's finger.

Huh. I know how to get it off.

Oh, okay.

Ew!

Oh, hey, everybody. Look, it's Natalie.

Brianna, you're looking better.

Yeah, but you should leave right away. I'm still contagious.

Oh, I knew it. That's why my throat's all sore, and I'm getting chills, and my

neck's all stiff.

And your head hurts.

Huh?

Nicole, I just wanted to give you this going -away gift.

Oh, that's so sweet. I'll give it to her.

Oh, thank you. That is so sweet of you.

Aren't you going to open it?

Oh, you want me to open it now?

Okay.

Brianna, did you show Natalie what your throat looks like without your tonsils?

Oh, no, no, I didn't. Natalie, look.

Someone had onion rings for lunch.

Love it.

I love it, too.

And you.

Mm -hmm, whatever.

Well, thanks for stopping by.

Yeah, we got to head to the airport. Okay, have a safe trip. I will, girl.

What is it, anyway?

Oh, it's a collapsible clothing rack, you know, for when you're in the jungle.

Oh, thank you. It's great.

How's it work?

ring off your finger before you leave for Africa.

Come on, Nicole, let me cut it off. You could still be annoying with nine

fingers.

Like, stop tripping. We could just go to the emergency room.

Well, I was thinking about garbage disposal, but the emergency room's cool,

Come on.

Yeah, I'm coming with you.

My throat's closing up faster than MC Hammer's bank account.

Good. You drive, and I work on Nicole in the back seat.

Um, just like the good old days.

happen before your plane leaves. We gotta get in there.

Well, we would be in there right now if Dwayne hadn't swallowed his tongue so he

could see the doctor first.

Hang in there.

It's gonna be okay.

Just breathe.

Okay.

That brings back memories.

Everybody just calm down, okay? Just calm down and breathe.

I'm breathing. Me too. Me too.

I still say Chewbacca.

We have been through a lot, haven't we? Yes, we have.

Well, we're running out of time.

Maybe I should just get you to the airport.

Just mail me the ring.

Oh!

What are you doing?

I just thought the element of surprise might work.

Look,

relax, Flex. You know, I'll go to Africa later.

What about Jaden?

Well, he'll understand.

You know, this is a big moment for you. I don't want to ruin it by leaving the

country with...

Depression.

Would you do that for me? Of course I would. You're one of my best friends.

That has got to be one of the nicest things a woman has ever said to an ex

-husband. Even nicer would be, here are all your alimony checks back.

Wayne, what's wrong?

I have to get my tonsils out.

I told you.

I told you!

Goodbye, Nicole.

Goodbye,

Flex.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you taking me to the airport?

Oh, right.

Man, is it Everhand?

I'll always love you, son.

I'll always love you, too, Nicole Leone.

See you later.

Hey, guys, where are you going?

Just going to get some curly fries.

Wanna come?

Yeah, but I have to ask my boyfriend first.

So, Arnaz, do you mind if I get curly fries with you guys?

Yes!

And we have a winner!

Do the airplane!

Do the airplane!

Thank you, dog.

Thank you, Godchild.

I just feel so bad.

I didn't think tonsillitis was contagious.

I'm sorry we ever doubted you, Dee.

No, it's okay.

I forgive you.

I just hope that you can forgive me.

For what?

I think we have to go back to the emergency room.

Love you too, Netta.