Original subtitles

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

I said, dog, can I borrow some cash?

The name of the game is Monopoly, not Mo Charity.

Oh, but I'm out.

Oh, then get to stepping, raggedy shoe.

Daddy, lighten up. Is this a game?

Ah, Monopoly isn't a game. It's a life lesson.

See, life is just a roll of the dice. Sometimes you get a windfall of money,

sometimes you go straight to jail. Over and over and over again.

It's racial profiling. I should have known a black girl driving a sports car

going to attract attention.

Okay, go on, Arne. It's your turn.

Okay.

Three.

One, two, three.

Ah, ha, ha.

Yeah. You landed on St. Charles Place, home of the Flex Towers.

And, uh, you're out of money.

So, well, you might want to barbecue that little terrier.

Mr. Washington, how is somebody supposed to get ahead when you keep buying up

all the affordable property and putting up expensive hotels?

If you have to ask that question, you can't afford to stay here.

Peace out.

All right, now, give me the dice here. It's time to get a lucky seven.

Daddy, new pair of shoes.

Oh, okay, go on, Daddy. Take a stroll down the boardwalk, also known as

my money, sugar?

Daddy, that'll be, um, $1 ,500.

It was an act of God. Who's up for Pictionary?

Sometimes in life, you can be alone by yourself.

But I have a partner, but I can't trust no one else.

Then I'll isolate yourself with nobody.

fundraiser week.

Hey, if it gets me out of biology, I'd hang sausages all over my body and

wrestle with a pit bull.

I hear you, Arnaz. I signed up for the book fair, the car wash, and the skate

-thon. This week is officially Brianna Barnes' week off. Can I get a you? No.

You know.

and your time doesn't mean you get a cookie break. You're not working for the

government, you know. Come on, back it up.

You know, for a woman who marches for peace, your mom's like a war general.

Hey, at least her mom was involved in her life.

Oh, please, Arnaz, do not bring us down with another one of your parent divorce

stories. My mom drinks too much, and my dad teaches young girls.

Oh, on second thought, come here, baby, let me give you a hug.

If it'll make you feel any better, brown as that. never shows up for school

functions. She's neglected, too.

No, no, no. That's not neglect.

That's careful planning.

My dad is better off at home writing a check.

You know how he is. Everything with him is a competition.

Yeah, you're right. Remember last year's blood drive? When he bet he could give

more blood than anyone else? Yeah, and he looked like a juice box after you

sussed everything out.

So, how are my little munchkin revolutionaries?

We're fine, Mom.

Baby, are you getting enough kale?

Because you know what they say, a clean, cold... keeps you rolling.

Mom, only you say that. No one else. Only you.

Hey, thanks for coming with me, Dee. I just have to give Brianna this check

before that Leilani Jones needles me about not being a hands -on parent.

Is she still giving you a hard time about how you're raising Brianna? My

daughter throws one rave in a condemned building and suddenly I'm a bad parent.

here comes my daddy. Okay, let's just get this check and let him keep going

before your mama sees him. Come on.

Too late.

Well, well, well. What a surprise. Flex Washington.

this little check.

Now, is the school going to give me a certificate because I don't like a lot

hoopla?

My, what soft hands you have for a man.

Mine are all roughed and calloused. What with my volunteer work with the

children.

You know, I actually got a paper cut writing this sizable check for the

Be careful now. The zeros make it very heavy.

you to throw money at a problem. It's a good thing that the village is raising

Brianna. Well, apparently the village people are raising spirit.

I love you and all, sweetie, but I mean, I've never seen a girl wear so many

colors. One day she's dressing like an Indian, then a construction worker, then

a Haitian hula hoop princess.

I don't know. You take that back.

I will not.

YMCA. Don't you dare do that.

worked up about volunteering, and I like my dad the way he is, a sleeping check

writer.

Hello, all.

My dad's sleeping.

Hurry, guys, that's my mom.

Oh, man, it must be time for the parent -student car wash.

Ooh, a day of parents, suds, and buds.

Well, in my case, it's just suds and buds.

Oh, and that's what happened to your parents?

My mom's at a...

My anger management seminar on my desk and something in large.

Well, you know what would be swell?

Why don't I go as your parent, huh?

Oh, no, that's cool. I'll be okay.

Oh, man, you are so strong, boy, but you don't have to be.

I've been in your shoes, waiting by the window with a sponge and a glove, hoping

to wash cars with my daddy.

When he never came, I could only squeeze you in my tears.

That's a sad story.

See ya.

Please,

please. Fine, Dwayne.

Call me Pop.

How about we call you Pathetic?

What inconsiderate, rude, obnoxious person is down there honking at a horn?

Y 'all taking too long?

Oh, good morning, Fleck.

Good morning, rude and obnoxious.

Come on, let's get a move on. We have cars to wash. Come on.

The car wash is today?

Brianna, why didn't you tell me?

Huh?

Oh.

Huh?

Lack of communication.

The jails are full of kids who can't communicate with their parents. See

Is that what happened to your oldest son?

It was a protest. He was staging a sit -in.

Yeah, sitting in somebody else's bed.

We're late. Let's go. Let's go.

And don't you worry about Brianna. I'm going to make sure she checks in.

Oh, oh, that was a check -writing joke.

Hey, come on, mister. Give these kids a chance.

Get the car washed.

Don't use recycled water. I'm bathing in this morning. Come on.

Good -looking car you have there, son.

Just my real dad trying to find my love.

But she's my baby.

So, how do you like this shine?

Ah, the shine's all right. But why don't you take a look at her from this angle?

Oh my gosh, she's horrible.

Look at all those scratches.

See, every car looks good when you look directly at it.

You have to look at it at an odd angle in order to keep it cool.

Sort of like a woman.

of me.

Hey, you wanna watch it? Even when I sweat?

I look good.

taught me that if you're not winning you're a loser and i'm no loser baby

winning is good but sometimes there's more important things in life than

like what what you

raised five thousand dollars

train station in the middle of the living room.

Well, Flex, this is an important moment. I mean, we're bonding. This is the

stuff you don't get back. I mean, they grow up so fast.

Look.

Look at this.

This is how tall he was yesterday, and now look at him.

You know nothing about parenting, man.

These kids are so ungrateful.

You give, and you give, and you give, and how do they thank you?

Thanks for the train set, Pa.

Your smile is thanks enough.

Since you know so much, am I doing a bad job with Brianna?

Well, you did put on quite a show at the car wash.

Well, and based on my limited experience as a doting parent... Boy, get that out

of your mouth! Come on now, that's nasty!

I find this whole parenting thing is hit or miss.

I mean, even if you mean well, sometimes it just doesn't come out right.

Well, you know, I just wanted to prove to Leilani that I really am a good

parent. Well, maybe that's why Brianna's upset.

Today was more about Leilani.

than it was about Brianna.

Ooh, I got to bounce.

Hey, Dwayne, I almost forgot to tell you.

My dad can make it to the skate -a -thon tomorrow, so do you mind if I go with

him?

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's okay.

Flex and I were just talking about doing something during that time.

So just make sure you say hi to, um... to, um... Dad?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for being so understanding, Dwayne.

You know you're not really his daddy, right?

Hey, Mom, look, isn't this great? Thanks to Mr.

Washington, we reached our fundraiser goal even before this case.

Whatever.

Forget the fundraising.

I'm going to get that Flex Washington, pull that little dungeon out, do me.

I'm the master fundraiser, two years running.

Nobody cares like me.

Nobody.

Did I call Daddy?

No.

Now, focus.

We're going to win.

That DVD player. But, Mom, you can't game.

Silence, you fool. I have a plan.

Do you think I volunteered because I like it? That DVD player will be mine.

Take this.

The revolution will not be televised.

I just want to be involved.

Really? That's right.

No, no splash, no glitz, no swim.

I'm just kidding.

Well, that was a little scary, but now I have a partner.

You have a partner?

Bye -bye.

Yeah, do you mind if we do dinner tonight instead of the skating thing?

Yeah, great. I'll see you later.

Huh? Oh, it's her next.

Hey, Dwayne.

Um, turns out Dad fell to me again.

You think you can step in?

What am I, second best? Huh?

You come running to me after everyone cancels on you? You think I'm going to

drop all my plans for you?

Huh? What am I, a backup daddy?

A fire extinguisher to wait for you whenever you need it?

Yeah. You know me so well.

So, where are you going to stay tonight?

Oh, you're just going to roll on the mashy bunions.

No, no, no. I ruined my fee by donating skin grafts to fire -walking orphans in

Budapest.

Who is that guy?

Who? What? Where?

That guy over there who thinks he's Brian Boitano.

That is Spirit's favorite cousin and the man that's going to help me win that

DVD player.

What DVD player?

But, Daddy, you already have one.

But ain't nothing like a free one.

Daddy, I'm just playing, Brianna.

There are more important things than winning.

Oh, you don't fool me, Flex Washington. I know you. You want to win.

Why don't you turn around and I'll gladly donate a piece of my foot.

One day I was a skater in Ipanema.

And the next, I wake up in somebody's trunk.

And that lady, she says, I'm your cousin.

You must really care about me to show this much restraint.

I'm trying.

Thank you, Daddy.

But I can't take it anymore.

Let's kick the Brazilian skater boy butt.

I don't know what he said, but I know one thing.

Since I'm not going to win that DVD player, neither is the flat -out man.

Look here, lady, and I use that term loosely because you got more hair on

lip than I do.

Your dad can't talk to my mom like that. Well, your mom's a cheater. Well,

that's better than being a show -off. Your dad's always trying to get

Oh, you're one to talk. You dress like casino carpet.

Hey, hey, hey, guys, lighten up.

You two are best friends.

Mom, what about our DVD player?

Oh, who are we kidding? We don't even have a TV.

Can you believe the children fighting and competing? Competitive like this, oh

my goodness.

Yeah, it's embarrassing.

Let's go.

You know, I have some leftover kale nuggets.

Oh, you know what they say, a clean colon keeps you rolling.

If y 'all watching TV, you better be finishing homework.

We are.

Okay, let me see it, son.

Boy, you're taking this dad thing kind of far. Don't you sass me, boy.

All right, I'll put you over my knee in front of your little friends.

Come on.

Arnaz, all these words are misspelled.

Your English is atrocious.

It's French.

Oh, well, perfectamundo.

Love you too, Netta.