Original subtitles

Look, Spirit, the Valentine's Day dance is in a couple of days. You need to find

a date. I hate this whole Sadie Hawkins thing.

Will you stop being a sissy and just ask somebody? I am not a sissy.

Then prove it.

Okay, maybe I am a sissy.

And besides, who would want to go with me to the dance?

Girl, any guy would be lucky to be your date.

You got that cute little shave, beautiful eyes, and girl, you light up

hallway with that smile.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I mean, I do use baking soda.

So you know what? Get your pretty smile over there and ask that boy to the

dance. Hi.

Hi, would you like to go with me to the Sadie Hawkins dance?

So, what did he say?

He said I'm much, much too fabulous for him. Really? No.

When I can't find nobody Then I'll isolate yourself When there's nobody

Let me get that.

A big baby. Yeah, it's a baby.

Oh.

There you go.

I love you.

Wait a minute.

Did I just say I love you?

Did I just say it out loud?

Well, I never say it first, except when I'm thinking about Hattie Berry.

Man, she is fine.

I love you, too.

You do?

Then why didn't you say it first?

I was waiting for you to say it. Well, what if I didn't say it at all? Oh, you

were going to say it.

I can't believe we waited this long.

I'm sorry, baby. I just had to be sure.

Because you're going to be apologizing all night long.

So when was your last HIV test?

HIV test?

That's not an apology.

Flex.

Never.

You've never been tested?

Look, do you take a driver's test every time you get in your car?

I'm healthy. I've always practiced safe sex.

Flex, before we have sex, I need you to get tested.

All right, I'll make an appointment tomorrow.

I'm going to want to see the results.

Okay, I'll really make an appointment tomorrow.

Baby, you have no idea.

Hey, little mama.

Oh, hey, Boo Bear.

So, uh, I want to go to the Valentine's dance with me next week. Uh, excuse me.

It's a Sadie Hawkins dance, which is all about the girls asking the boys. It's

about female empowerment.

Oh, well, does that mean I don't have to pay for the pre -dance dinner?

Uh, it's Sadie Hawkins, not the ends of the world.

Hey, am I paying for three, or does Spirit finally have a date?

Look, Josh, come on. I told you. My girl's going through a little dry spell.

Dry spell?

The U .N.'s going to start dropping her supplies.

Arnaz, Justin Simple Lake.

Oh, you're funny, Arnaz, but I got the girl. Oh, yeah?

Um, excuse me. No, no, excuse me. Excuse me.

Y 'all should not be fighting over me in school, especially when there's nobody

in the hallway.

line at Starbucks. His name is Marvin, and he likes short mochas. And girl, he

was not talking about the coffee.

I'm so happy for you guys. Isn't that great news?

News? It's all over school.

Short mocha, blah, blah, blah.

It's all a talk in the teacher's lounge.

It is nice.

May I have your attention, please?

Today's lunch specials are Floppy Joe's and Salisbury Steak. And hey, everybody,

Spirit Jones has finally met a man.

Way to go, girl. Thank you.

So, Flex, it's Friday.

Any big plans planned?

Nah, probably just going to catch the Wizards game tonight.

Chill out.

Take an HIV test. You know, hit a club.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing before the club?

Chill out. No, no, no. After chilling and before the club.

What are you doing? That's right, you heard me. I'm taking an HIV test.

So, Candy, how do you like the weather we're having?

You know, Flex, you don't have to be ashamed.

I get a test every six months.

Or every 2 ,000 miles.

Just like an oil train.

But let's get to the real deal.

Why didn't you and Natalie get tested before you had sex?

Well, we haven't had sex yet.

Natalie wanted to take it slow. And in this day and age, the responsible

takes care of himself and his woman.

So you're not getting any until you take the test, right? And that too.

Well, as a gambling man, I've studied the stats.

And the odds of me catching the big A are very slim because I'm a non -drug

-using, extra -heterosexual brother. You heard that?

You? Man, I'm so straight, I don't make left turns.

In pledge, my brother, I, too, have been tested.

And Magic Johnson proved that all players can be at risk. That's right,

Men can't get it from women, too. So you hetero fella can go straight to dead if

you're not careful.

Come on, y 'all ain't trying to hear all this depressive stuff.

You know what?

I'm gonna go outside and hang my man one -legged Willie.

Man, what's wrong with him?

Brother's scared.

Have you seen some of the women he's dated?

Last one looked like a petri dish and stilettos.

Well, I'm not scared. I'm going to take that test and get it over with. Well,

good luck, man. I don't need luck. You sure? I'm positive.

No, I'm negative.

I mean, I'm positive, then I'm negative.

So what brings you by today?

Well, I stubbed my toe yesterday, and I figured since I was here, why not take

an HIV test?

Oh, no problem.

Now, is there any reason to believe you may have contracted HIV?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no. This is just for my girlfriend. You know, whatever happened

the good old days was just flowers and candy.

Well,

I just wish more women were as responsible.

Men are so impatient when it comes to sex. And I try to let you know about

Please, just give me the test.

Okay. First, let's discuss your risk level. Hold on.

There is none. I feel good, and I look even better.

Flex, one in three people who have HIV don't even know it. In fact, it's

becoming the leading cause of death among African Americans 25 to 44 years

Take a look at this.

Wow. Whatever happened to good old heart attacks and car accidents?

Yeah, Flex, those were the good times. But unfortunately, HIV is on the rise

globally. Look at that.

Two out of every five new HIV cases are from heterosexual transmission.

So, how many sex partners have you had?

Why, Dr. T, shouldn't we be having this conversation over wine?

Eight or nine.

Give or take a zero.

Look, but I have always practiced safe sex.

I said practice. I didn't say perfect.

All right, Flex, well, think about it this way.

If you have had sex with just 10 women and each one of them has had sex with 10

men who have each had sex with 10 other people and so on and so on and so on,

well, flex conceivably, you could have had sex with as many as 100 ,000 people.

Emily.

See my palm pilot?

What'd it look like? Like it was worth $500?

Oh, that palm pilot. I put it in the lost and found.

Here it is. Hey,

how'd the HIV test go?

Ah, come on. Can y 'all give it a rest?

What's up, Flex? Are you okay?

Everything's cool. My doctor called me with the results in a few days.

Yeah, that way can be stressful.

You know, after my last test, I lost three pounds.

Shoot, I might be due for another one.

Yeah, dog, those can be some rough days.

I just hope you don't go through the five stages of grief like I did.

Hey, man, I'm healthy. I don't have anything to worry about.

Hey, come on, Flex.

HIV is a scary thing. It's all right to be afraid. But I'm not afraid.

Come on, Flex. I know you're a little scared.

I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

Where are Spirit and this Marvin dude?

Ginger is waiting for us at the movie, and I don't want to be late.

Man, relax.

All right, we're going with girls.

Who's watching the movie?

Well, my hands will be busy, but my eyes will be on you.

Hey, whoa, easy, lover boy.

I'm sticking with the ladies.

Is that who loaned you the lip gloss?

It's okay. My friends will understand. They're cool.

Oh, stop. I do not have a badunkadunk.

Okay, fine.

That was Marvin.

And he can't make it tonight, but I asked him to do my date for the Sadie

Hawkins dance. You're gonna love him. He's a dream.

I bet he is.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on.

It's obvious why this Marvin guy canceled tonight.

His last name is figment of her imagination.

Spirit wouldn't make him up.

That's right.

A girl's not crazy.

property, Flex? I'm looking for the rest of my newspaper.

I paid 50 cents for a whole paper, not 45.

That paper boy is out there smoking up my nickel.

Uh, Flex, the real estate section comes out on Sundays.

Oh, what?

Are you a newspaper expert now?

Ooh, somebody's got a PhD, a paper -having degree.

Flex, don't be so mean.

Oh, should I be more like you?

I'm so nice.

I'm an artist. I have long, curly hair, and I'm HIV negative.

Okay, you know what? No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

Madeline.

Madeline.

Remember, look, that really isn't Flex speaking, all right? That's his fear.

Now, in this time of need, we have to be understanding.

Give love, not anger. What are you whispering about, mini -me?

Flex, look, I'm your friend, and I know you're going through a tough time, but

I'm going to be here to see you through it. Oh.

Isn't that nice? You see that, Natalie? The Elfin King has feelings.

Now go climb up in your hollow tree and get me some crackers.

Crackers.

Dear Lord, I promise to be a better person.

I'll do more volunteer work. I'll even become an Angels fan.

Or the Saints.

Even the Padres.

If you just let me be HIV free, I'll... I'll...

Never have sex again.

At least not for a very long time.

Hold that thought.

Hey, Mr. Washington.

I'm here to pick up Brianna for the dance. You can't have sex.

We're just gonna dance.

No, I don't want you dancing either. See, dancing leads to sex. I saw a

footloose.

Hi, Daddy. I'll be home by midnight.

Nine o 'clock.

Good night, Josh. Thanks for bringing Brianna home early. Wait.

Daddy.

All right. Go.

But don't have sex.

What's wrong with you?

Yeah. I can't dance either.

Honey Bunny, is there any chance you're a little confused about Marvin? Like,

maybe you thought you met him, but you didn't?

Are you saying I'm crazy?

I'm just saying that you're... creative.

Oh, so you don't believe me either?

Well, for your information, Marvin isn't a figment of my imagination.

Yeah, I heard Josh.

Pine cookies, hot out of the oven.

Mmm.

Thanks.

Baby, isn't that hot?

Yeah. Ow.

Honey, cheer up.

I'm sure when the doctor calls, it'll be good news.

You don't know how many women I've slept with.

All kinds of women.

Short, tall, hairy.

And that's enough sharing.

Hey, everybody.

Ah, do I smell Valentine cookies?

Dwayne, I'm glad you're here. Flex is in a funk. Help me cheer him up, please.

All right, so what's pulling your tail, dog?

I'm just depressed, man.

I'm going to miss you guys so much when I die.

Die? Dwayne, tell him he's not going to die.

Well, I mean, we're all going to die one day.

I mean, Flex, you.

Me. Oh, my God. I'm going to die.

You

look

nice.

Thank you.

Oh, so where's Ginger?

Oh, we had a fight.

We broke up.

Nah. Her mom was sick so she couldn't come.

But, uh, what if we did break up?

Well, I... Hey,

spirit!

Look, girl, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry.

If you tell me that Marvin's real, then I believe you.

But I also believe that he's a jerk for staring you up.

I understand why you guys think I had to make up a boyfriend.

Obviously, no one wants to be with me.

Okay, now you really are crazy.

Spirit, you're beautiful and special.

Yo, excuse me, I'm looking for Spirit Jones.

I got a song for my girl Spirit, my short mocha.

Girl, you want to know what's up?

I can truly say that I love you.

And we know that love is not broke up.

things in love that you'll never do.

I can never jump off a building and survive.

And if that building were burning, I might never leave you inside.

I'd probably never leave.

Who's Mario?

Marvin is Mario.

No, who's Mario?

Okay, shh, baby, just stand here and look pretty.

Oh,

man.

Hey, Flex, you want in on the next game?

Yeah, man, you did invite me over to play poker.

I assumed I'd be taking your money, too.

Nah, dog, I'm busy working on my will. Yeah.

Brianna gets my condo, my IRA, and my sweaters.

And I have some nice sweaters.

Hey, D, you know what? I'm thinking about giving you my navigator. Oh, cool.

Hey, man, could you trade in for a blue one?

Relax. Why are you suddenly writing a will?

It's been five days.

Obviously, Dr. Taylor can't muster up the courage to call me and give me the

news. So I thought I'd take the time to put my affairs in order.

Bro, even if you are positive, HIV is not a death sentence, man.

I mean, with the new medications, people are living full lives.

Whoa. You don't even like to talk about HIV.

Why do you suddenly sound like Liv Taylor?

Well, you know, I decided to get tested.

Oh, that's all right. Well, I hope it was because of my good example.

Yeah.

And because I met this girl who says I got to do it, but you know.

What can I say, man?

I'd do anything for a bowl of glass.

I heard that.

Hello?

Oh, hey, hey, Dr. Taylor.

Yeah.

Uh -huh.

Really?

No, no, thanks for calling.

Okay, bye.

Ray, hey, what are y 'all going to do?

Yeah, I guess we should probably leave, Walt. What, we're not going to play

another hand?

Oh. All right, now, Flex, take it easy, man. We're taking off.

Dwight, get out.

Get out.

Natalie, thank you for making me take that test. You're welcome. Now, let's

more naked. Oh.

and I will tell you later.

No, no, sweetie. Natalie was just checking for moles. You know, I see you

want to be alone, so I can just go to Spirits and come back tomorrow.

No, no, that can wait. Come in, sweetie.

Daddy wants to talk to you about something that's very important.

It's about HIV.

be here soon though you're gonna love josh he's so cool oh yeah sure sure have

you ever even met this josh dude before he's a figment of her imagination

Love you too, Netta.