Original subtitles

Honey, what happened to all the lights?

Your hair doesn't look that bad.

No, we're having a romantic evening together and watching the fight. Yeah,

that's cute, honey, but fights and romance don't go together.

Unless you're in Thailand with 20 bucks.

And I guess my new bustier isn't appropriate either.

Oh, it's very appropriate.

Any chance I could...

Get you to stand next to the TV?

Oh, baby, you make me so hot.

Oh, hey, Natalie.

Um, Daddy, I need to ask you a favor. There's a few bucks in my wallet. You

stay out till midnight. If you break curfew, you better be leaving.

Daddy, I want to throw a slumber party for Spirit's birthday. Can I? Go for the

ear. Go for the ear.

Daddy, please. I'm her best friend, and it's her sweet 16.

Oh, not the ref's ear.

Natalie, can you...

I mean, sure, Brianna.

What? Woman, are you crazy?

You're in the middle of the fight.

Flex, a sweet 16 slumber party is a rite of passage. It's the last time girls

get to be girls.

You're already 16.

Aren't you?

Not me, Daddy Spirit.

So?

Fine, guess. Whatever it takes to get the fight back on.

Did you want me to stand?

That fight was pay -per -view, baby. You better get to dancing.

Sometimes in life, you can be alone by yourself.

But I have a partner, but I can't trust no one else.

So don't isolate yourself when there's nobody.

She turned on Yo TV at Yo House.

Play, I hope she tripped over the cord.

She got her hands on the remote. Oh!

What happened to my life?

It's been so long since I've been in a relationship, I forgot about all the

stuff you have to do.

Like talking?

Sometimes the background music in my head drowns her out, but I'm pretty sure

she's still talking.

When I was with Stacy, you know, we used to go to the mall and spend the whole

day just talking.

You know, we'd brow up a little, then, uh... Then we split a thinner bond and

laugh at all the single, lonely people.

Now I eat the whole one by myself and watch people laugh at me.

Dwayne, baby, it doesn't matter what you do. People are going to laugh at you

anyway.

So, yo, Flex, how'd you get away today? I let her know that it's no longer Sat

Her Day.

It's Sat Him Day. You know what I'm saying?

I'm the king of my cast.

That's how I made that.

Flex, you ready to go antiquing? Oh, antiquing. I thought that was Sunday.

Hmm, obviously it was sad her day.

I love antiquing. You have to go to Yona's down on Charles Street. They have

best collection of Rococo.

Rococo? Does that come with shrimp or chicken?

Oh, here's a crazy thought.

Uh, Dwayne, why don't you go antiquing with Natalie while I help Walt with that

thing he needs me to do?

What thing? It's a private thing.

I don't mind telling.

Flex is going to give me $200 to start a fund for handicapped horses at Pimlico.

I'm telling y 'all, nothing is sadder than a horse in a wheelchair.

Just say you don't want to go, Flex.

Wow, babe.

I think it here, and it comes out there.

We make a great team.

Come on, Duane.

Oh, this is going to be so great.

I hope you like Cinnabon.

Did you two have fun ant -peeking?

Can you say nirvana?

Well, it sounds like we all had the perfect day. What did you do, baby?

Absolutely nothing. In my underwear.

Can you say nirvana?

So, baby, are you ready to go to dinner?

Yep. Dwayne, I had a wonderful time. Okay. Up to you tomorrow.

What's tomorrow?

Nat needs help planting azaleas on her balcony.

Unless you want to help me flex. Oh, no.

I mean, you know, you need a green thumb to garden.

Mine's black.

But I'll come by and admire your azaleas later.

This is sweet. We make a great team.

We do, don't we?

Yeah, yeah, us too.

For the last time, can y 'all please turn this music down? I'm trying to

the game.

Ooh, pizza.

You should pass it.

Everyone doesn't smell like dumpster.

Thanks for ruining my appetite.

Oh, Daddy, are we bothering you?

My head hasn't hurt this bad since your mother said I do.

I'm going across the hall to your Uncle Dwayne's. If somebody chokes or there's

a fire, your grandma's phone number is on the fridge.

Wait, are you sure you want to go?

We're about to pluck, and you can use the tweezers.

I gotta go.

Lock the door. We got two hours before the basketball game is over.

Hey, guys. What a great surprise.

What? You told us to come. Even gave us binoculars.

Let's get it on.

Come on, Tiger.

Y 'all just eye candy. Now follow my lead, okay?

Ah! The boys dressed up party as well. Teenage hygiene. This is how I

like it.

his best friend chilling, watching the game, you know? You know, no teenagers

plucking eyebrows, no girlfriend trying to control a remote.

You know, just two men hanging, caveman style.

Hi,

sweetie.

Natalie, what are you doing here?

Dwayne and I just got back from Salmore.

Remember I told you they were having a sale on hydrangeas, and then you told me

to say hi to Dranger.

Man, I'm funny even when I'm not paying attention.

Thanks for the flower, my thing. You are saving my life.

Man, what are friends for?

And that dog is cool.

You know, last night, when we went to that one -woman play, Taste My Tears, we

laughed, then we cried.

You're so cleansing.

Wait a minute.

Natalie, I thought you said you were going to see that play with one of your

girlfriends. All my girlfriends do is complain about how there are no good men

left. Dwayne never does that.

Dwayne, I forgot to tell you. I got us tickets for the car show tomorrow.

What? Yeah, they got the James Bond Thunderbird there. I hear Halle Berry's

print is still in it.

Oh, oh, but Dwayne, don't forget. You promised tomorrow the whole Mexico.

Oh, that's right.

I'm sorry, Flex, but a promise is a promise.

But the first 500 people get a free wicker parasol.

I'll get you one, too. Oh, why don't you keep it for yourself? Every man should

have a pair of something.

Go, go, go, go, go!

I never hid in a boy closet.

Me neither.

Dang,

kids, was there anything you haven't done?

Yeah, the first three things. I was just sort of hungry.

Okay, my turn.

I never kissed.

frogs before you get to Prince.

Jezebel. Whatever.

Can we just get back to the gang?

Fine.

I never should have thrown this party for you.

Okay.

My turn.

I never should have let you.

What was so important, Flex?

I don't like you and Dwayne spending so much time together.

I'm sorry, but it's over.

What? You and I are breaking up?

No, you and Dwayne are breaking up.

Listen, sweetie, I've been through this before, and you're just going to have to

get used to it.

You're dating someone who's kind of attractive.

Unfortunately, men are drawn to me.

Let's face it, this has caused many a car pileup.

I'm not worried about you. I got you.

This is about Dwayne, little Miss Fender Bender. He was my friend first.

You should be ashamed. You're acting worse than a teenage girl.

No, I'm not.

How's it gonna be, Brianna? Oh, no, this is how it is.

Fine, then. Give me back my ponytail.

Brianna, she took your hair.

What happened to your party?

I just found out Spirit's been hiding her special relationship with Arnaz. I

would give her the kiss of death, but I don't know where those lips have been.

The kiss of death, Brianna? Could it be possible that you're...

No, because my baby is just like me, okay? She calls it like she sees it.

You have boys in here.

Um, Daddy, can we stay focused? Spirit betrayed me. I'm hurting.

I'm going to give you something to hurt about. You have a month to think about

Spirit's betrayal in your room. Now go.

Go.

And where are you going?

I thought you were busy with punishment.

I'm just getting started. Now, let's go break you and Dwayne up. I don't want to

miss the fourth quarter.

Oh, hey, Nat. I'm about to add the baby's breath. Come on. You don't want

miss it.

Dwayne, Flex feels uncomfortable with us seeing each other.

Flex, I'm offended.

You know the brother's code. Never covet thy neighbor's hottie.

No, it's not that. It's just, you know, when I call you, you know, and you

weren't... I mean, and then...

He misses you, and he wants us to break up.

Oh, well... Well, say no more, dog.

Natalie, now what we have... No, I'm sorry.

Had was special, and I'll cherish it forever.

But, uh... But my boy's dialing my number, and I gotta... Gotta pick it up.

So, uh... So, Natalie, I... Gotta put you on hold.

Click, click.

You two deserve each other.

So, uh, you want to watch the game here?

Well, I mean, I'm not going to watch it alone, huh?

You know, maybe we can make some meat sandwiches and do what men do. Yeah.

Oh, shoot. I got to put my Snapdragons in some water.

Oh.

Hey, stranger.

Hey, Dwayne.

I haven't seen you in a couple of days. What's going on?

Well, I just, uh...

Got finished doing my yoga.

My bones are so limber, I could, uh, cirque and soleil.

So, uh, you and Flex doing something today?

Not really. I was just going to surprise him with some coffee.

You know, there's a sale at Lennon's and things.

You shouldn't. I know. I'll drive. Let's go.

knife that she stabbed me in the back with come on brianna it's not like

lied she just never told you that crazy logic might work with you and your

buddies but spirit was my girlfriend and girlfriends don't keep secrets

especially if they're about a man wow i'm a man no men don't wear t -shirts

you who stands on them and anyway you shouldn't be talking about stuff you

know about oh i think i know plenty are you sure this isn't about us And the

fact that it was me she kissed?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Excuse me, don't flatter yourself.

This is strictly a girl thing.

Here's the girlfriend rule.

You don't kiss a guy and then let me kiss the guy without telling me that you

kissed the guy first.

Spirit and I have history.

We've done a lot of things together. We even took a bath together when we were

three. You want to get mad at her for that, too?

Or maybe you want to get even?

Honest, just go.

Brianna, you're a lucky girl.

Because you have so many friends, you can just throw a good one away.

Are you sick or something, man?

I'm used to beating you, but 15 to nothing? Twice?

You okay?

Man, you were just on fire today. You were the racquetball king of the world.

Hey, man.

What's your rush?

There's an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie playing down at the Cineplex.

I hear this time he's battling arthritis.

What's going on with my finger?

I'm not too mad. I have got to get to work.

Again?

You've been working like a dog all week.

Oh, I get it.

Duane's place.

Hello?

Hello?

I think I dialed the wrong number.

Who was it? I don't know. They hung up.

Huh.

I've been getting a lot of those lately.

Hello.

Oh, oh, oh, hi, Mama. Yeah. Oh, I'm fine.

No, I'm just here with Flex. Yeah. You remember Flex, don't you? Uh -huh.

What? You're locked in the freezer, are you? Oh, okay. I'll be there right away.

I keep telling that woman, keep the Klondike bars up front.

See ya.

Uh, you want some help?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. When Mama gets stuck in the freezer, she kind of, you

know, freaks out. And she's usually naked, so...

Mama likes it when I look nice.

Hmm, he's never been in a rush to get her out of the freezer before.

Strange calls, people hanging up.

Let's see who Star 69 gets us.

Victoria's Tea House.

Victoria's Tea House? Those two -timing tea guzzlers?

Excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to think that.

all your stuff wait is my red bell sleeve top in here you mean my dad's oil

oh i remember this our t -shirt from six flags

we were on every roller coaster that day oh look there's your lunch is

this your way of trying to say you're sorry maybe

about kissing Arnaz. Brianna, that kiss with Arnaz was nothing. We were 11 and

playing spin the bottle.

So, he didn't smell like peaches back then?

More like old soda.

So, girl, are we friends again?

No.

Okay, we are now. Okay.

Okay, girl. It's been four days. We need to catch up.

Do you think our drama might have been because you still have feelings for

Arnaz? Do you want your birthday present?

Won't bring it up again. Okay.

Well, thank you for waiting for me, Natalie.

Flex just needed his Duane time.

Don't we all?

Wait until you taste this marmalade to die for. Everything just looks lovely.

Aha!

What do we have here?

Uh, Flex, it's not what you think.

Oh, oh, it's not?

Well, I think my best friend and my girlfriend are sneaking around behind my

back having hot tea.

Okay, it's what you think.

Calm down.

Calm down?

How can you do that? this to me shit sounds i'm sorry flex once

i tasted the sweet nectar of feminine sophistication i i just couldn't let it

oh really so this this tea sipping is worth risking 30 years of friendship you

get scones too well well i hope they come with memories you know i should

you too and suck in some of this sophistication

Ooh, I'd stab a buddy in the back for this.

Okay, Flex, that's enough.

Now, we've been best friends ever since you carjacked my hippity hop.

You're my best friend, but you're not my only friend.

You just have to accept the fact that I have lots of friends, and now I've made

a new one in Natalie, who allows me to express my civilized self.

I can be civilized.

No more strawberries, Henry.

Flex, don't you think it's unfair for you to expect Dwayne to be at your beck

and call?

He's not at my beck and call. He's just always there when I call.

Why can't you just share him, Flex? It's not like you don't have plenty of other

friends. But what?

Look, I know plenty of people, and I have other buddies, but I only have one

friend.

When you meet your best friend at four, you don't exactly have to make other

friends.

Well, Flex, I feel the same way.

But you said you had lots of friends.

Yeah, I said I have lots of friends, but not lots of friend friends.

I mean, Natalie's cool and all, but she wouldn't get one of my kidneys.

What? I might give you a ride to the airport or help you move, but an organ?

Ooh, baby, find a healthy cousin.

You'd really do that for me?

Absolutely.

I mean, you're my dog.

I'm sorry, I was tripping, man.

You know what? I won't get in the way of this ya -ya sisterhood. Ya -

So that means we're on for the yarn show tomorrow.

Oh, hey, yarn show?

Oh, Natalie, yarn?

This brother draws the line at yarn, all right?

Auto show?

Have his butt.

Buy my ticket, I'll meet you by the crochet booth.

Hey, Frenchie, let me get some of them scones.

Excuse me? I want some scones, man, scones.

With some whipped cream, too.

That's Devonshire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some of that, some of that.

You look flat out, man.

What's that over there?

I've never seen that.

Turn around!

Love you too, Netta.