Original subtitles

Great idea, Brianna.

Let's go to a party, you said. It'll be fun, you said. It'll be at a graveyard,

you didn't say.

Since we all might die out here, maybe we should make out.

Nobody's gonna die out here. My dad's gonna be here in a few minutes.

Yeah, but how do you know he's not gonna kill us for sneaking out to this party?

My dad's not gonna kill us. He was glad I called him.

He and I have a no -questions -asked policy.

He'll come pick me up any time I'm in trouble, no questions asked.

Your dad is amazing.

Could he adopt me?

No, then that would make you my brother, and that would put us in Greg and

Marsha Brady land.

And we don't need that, okay?

Don't worry, kid. I won't tell your parents.

You should have just left me out there to die, because when I get home, my

parents are going to kill me.

My mom won't even notice.

She's been so depressed since the divorce, she sits around all day with

friend Jack.

Daniels.

They're getting off Scott Free.

I came along for the beating.

Where's the beating?

You know I don't believe in that. I'm just glad she knows she can call me when

she's in trouble. Her safety is all that matters.

Oh, I love you, Daddy.

I love you too, Bree Bree.

Oh, this is making me sick.

Parenting isn't about love, it's about discipline.

My mama beat me each and every time I stepped out of line, and I turned out

fine.

Whatever, Dwayne.

When I can't turn no one in.

Where do you keep your Ajax? Right next to the can and give me back my spare

key, you freeloader.

Uh, hey, Daddy, I'm about to go to the mall with Spirit and probably pick up

some ice mochas so I'll be home around nine -ish. Ooh, ooh. On a school night?

Uh, I'm thinking no -ish. Tell her, Flash.

Don't you have a book report due tomorrow?

Hence the ice mochas.

The caffeine will help me stay up late, watch the movie, and crank out the

perfect book report.

No, have two mochas and read the book.

Okay, Daddy. See you later.

Oh, uh, your friend Amanda called.

Oh.

I was with the face.

I thought that was one of your girls. She was, but now she's smoking

and she thinks she's all cool.

And like you told me, secondhand smoke will kill you. And not to mention, my

clothes are too cute to be smelling like Grandpa's couch. Bye,

Daddy.

That's my girl.

See, most parents can't get that message through to their kids.

But because I treat her like a friend, it sunk in.

She's still running around like a wild child on a weeknight, all hopped up on

mochas. I'm worried about her flex.

That mocha is a gateway beverage.

Next thing you know, she's going to be hitting those lattes, selling your BCR

for a pound of that Jamaica's finest.

That Blue Mountain Roast, ooh, you can't kick that.

Duane, if you had a child, or a father, my bad.

You'd understand my unique parenting style.

See, I provide a haven, a safe place where Brianna can come with her problems

and all her anxieties and won't be judged.

It's... It's a teenager's utopia.

A flex -topia, if you will.

Oh, yeah, flex -topia. Where minors check in and convicts check out.

Doug, I'm starting a new school of parenting, okay? A school of tolerance

understanding. And if I'm reasonable, I won't push her away.

See, the closer I am to her, the easier it is for me to protect her.

Man, that's brilliant.

Gosh, write a book.

Oh, yeah.

And if Brianna makes it through high school, maybe she can read it.

Nextopia is a place where... That's it. When Daryl the bus driver asks you out,

that's officially the time to stop taking the bus.

Well, then I haven't taken the bus for two months too long.

You know what?

We need a car. No, no. What we need is money for a car. Yes, money.

Money, money, money.

Where can we get some money?

Oh, we could all get jobs.

Yeah, I got out of a rave I went to at Ginger.

And they charged you guys to get into the rave, right? Yeah, 20 bucks each.

So that's 40 bucks a person.

So if 100 people showed up, that's $4 ,000. Yo, that's how we get our car. We

throw a rave.

Yeah, but what if everybody isn't stupid enough to buy a bracelet?

Girl, we are teenagers.

If one person buys something, we all stupid enough to buy it, okay?

I know where we can hold it. My mom leaps into commercial real estate.

Let's grab one of the keys to the warehouses.

You guys are raised.

If we get caught, we could get in some serious trouble. No, no, no. Look, if we

get caught, then I'll take the rap.

I'll just use my dad's no -questions -asked policy.

Of course, if I'll be assuming the majority of the risks, I'll be assuming

majority of the profits.

In other words, the car stand in my house.

We could save money if I DJ.

Oh, so cool, cool. So our Nezzle DJ and Spirits, you and I will make some really

cool, cryptic invitations. You know what? I think we're the three smartest

in Baltimore.

Timber, timber, timber.

Timber, timber. My check.

Okay, maybe they're too smart to see.

Brianna, this rave is the best idea you ever had, and you pulled it off in a

week. You notice how P. Diddy got his start.

Girl, you might as well start calling me B. Diddy, and I'll call you from my

private jet. Hey, you knew.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Ooh, but let's go before your father gets home. Your dad

might be cool, but I'm not good at lying to parents.

Hey, Spirit.

Did you, uh, clean the bathroom?

Sure did. Bye -bye. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Before you disappear to spirits for the

weekend, did you do your science project?

The potato is sputting as we speak.

But that was freshman science project.

Uh, different teacher. That's my girl. Not my girl.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, for God's sakes, Mr. Washington. Let us go.

Hey, uh, I was just trying to give you all some money for some pizza.

Okay, thank you. Bye -bye.

That's it. The father of tomorrow is a bachelor for tonight.

Get changed. We going out. Let's do this.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, glow sticks.

Wonder what they were doing with these.

Maybe they were going to a pretty colors.

No, we haven't been clubbing in a long time, man. We're going to bounce to

Whispers, Classics, Gotham, and the Clubhouse. Uh -huh. Then we're going to

a little after party at...

Don't trust a big butt and a smile.

Never have, never will.

Man, I knew Brianna wasn't having a rave at her house.

Did you say Brianna? Yeah, dude, it's supposed to be off the hook.

Brianna's spirit and that blonde chick Arnaz are throwing it.

So, who are you, Brianna's brother?

I'm her dad.

Holla.

See, now those glow sticks are starting to make sense.

I think our little Bri Bri is throwing a rave rave.

Now, Brianna would tell me if she was throwing a rave.

There's no way she's throwing a rave.

The gloat sticks.

The lost boys searching for the rave who don't trust a big butt and a smile.

I mean, good God, man, how much more do you need?

I think you're right, D.

I think I've been used.

I've been had.

There is a rave.

That lying, manipulative, underhanded... Come on now, preaching to the choir.

Spirit! What?

Yes, little buddy, Spirit's thrown a rave and has convinced my daughter into

being... Part of it, that little hippie spawned to the navigate.

And it better be good because we be jamming.

You better jam well, give me back my daughter.

Mr. Washington, are the girls all right?

You tell me, aren't they here? Obviously not, because they're out of rain.

You don't have any more than pineapple drinks, do you?

Stella, darling, you're taking too long. Your pool boy's waiting to get your

groove on. Rub -a -dub style.

Oh, uh, hello, uh, Mrs. and I were having a night without the kids, and a

minute's a ticket.

Come on, Mama.

This is Spirit's daddy, Cooper. Honey, you remember Brianna's father.

Oh, right, the flat -out man.

Uh, he ain't that good -looking.

Oh, either my son -in -law gets us in trouble, or there's a party in the

hallway. Either way, I'm prepared.

Evidently, our children are at a rave. A rave? No, Arnaz is at the library with

his tutor, Ginger.

Hold on. If they're not here and they're not at my house, then where are they?

Man, there's no way the rave is going to be at Spirit's house.

Oh, it's a person's rave.

I guess I could stick my toe in it for a minute.

Okay,

Mr. Man, I'm your host. My name is Bree. Right, right. Well, yo, I just came to

chop it up with a few real folks, you know.

Um, point me to the VIP section.

Oh, we don't have one.

You do now.

Oh, that was dope.

Yeah, you might want to crack a window.

Oh, no, I can't.

Maybe you have to be, like, at a rave to read it.

Hey, give me that!

I know these kids, all right? I will figure this thing out in no time.

Let's just drive around until we find it.

That tramp he's shucking up with lives two blocks from here.

Not that I follow them or anything.

Would anybody mind if I smoke? You know, I never did smoke until after the

divorce. Someday I'm going to quit.

Just black men I can't live without.

I know what you mean, girlfriend.

They're just like candy. Can't get enough of them.

Let her in, let her in, let her in.

What's up, man? What's up, dude? Want some food?

Picking a blanket, shrimp?

Uh, no, I'm cool, I'm cool, but this is nice.

This is nice.

Um, Mr. Man, it would be a big favor to me, your host, if you would perform.

Now, how could I say no to that?

Let's see.

Uh -uh.

But, but, Mr. Man, I think your fans are calling you. I'm about to call security

because... VIP has an age limit.

Security! But wait, I just... But it's not rave!

You know, Cheryl, the divorce must have been hard on Arnaz, too. Yeah, yeah, it

was. His father not being around probably explains the way Arnaz is

I mean, this whole rave thing sounds like something he would plan.

I hardly think this goes behind this one.

Hold on now. Don't be so hard on yourself, Cooper, there. All right? I

guys did the best you could with spirit, but it's not your fault she dresses

like a palm reader.

I beg your pardon.

I think we all know that your daughter is the ringleader.

Don't blame Brianna for your children's delinquency. You people don't know your

kids. You're so strict, they're afraid of you. They don't even want to be your

friend. That is exactly why I'm the one picking them up from parties and

covering for them. You did what?

I'm sorry, what?

Uh -huh. You promised the kids you wouldn't tell their parents you picked

up from the party because of your no questions asked policy.

Uh, don't worry, y 'all.

It'll be in his parenting book.

See that? No questions asked. A typical rookie mistake.

Sounds like somebody's been listening to too much AM radio.

Flex, did you actually think you could build a relationship with your child on

trust?

Oh,

hey, Mr. Man, how you doing? Oh, what's up, little princess? Come to try to get

me to perform again?

Oh, no, no.

This has got to stop.

They need to start calling me a lifeguard because I'm always saving the

party.

Somebody, anybody, everybody, scream!

Nobody go to the car face up. You got a second to mow the run for the dough.

Before I blow back off the map contact.

You didn't understand. Click it down like that. Welcome test rocket launcher.

Yes. Mr. Math. Hold the book. Those deaths. Kids dead long. Songs too long.

Gets one more hit. We all get along.

See my pinky.

See my thumb.

See that kid with the pump shot gun.

Bust your gums. Leave your host.

No. What's this?

I can't believe your kids could pull something off like this.

Oh, my God, this is one of my properties, and it's condemned.

Okay, I've seen enough.

We got to get your kids out of here.

Hey, Foxy.

Oh, look at my baby. Snatch her, snatch her by the hair.

Oh, I'm on it. I'm about to get a fistful of brains.

What a son. What?

Man, your daughter's a juvenile delinquent.

And she's my hero.

See my pinky?

See my pinky?

Look around, Dee. My daughter's not even here. She probably had the sense to go

home and now she's sleeping like a baby.

Hey, are y 'all loving my sleeping party?

I'm gonna breathe and kill her.

Yeah, yeah, you know.

You know.

Watch out, watch out, watch out. Hey, hey, watch the touching, man.

I rack my brain all the way home, and I got nothing.

I'm at a loss.

So you're not going to punish me?

Oh, I'm going to punish you.

I'm going to take away your CD player.

Then I'm going to take away your driving permit.

But is that going to stop you from doing something like this again?

Daddy, I said I was sorry.

We were trying to make some money to get a car. You're always telling me to be

resourceful. I was being resourceful. No, you were being deceitful.

Do you realize what you did tonight?

You invited hundreds of strangers to a condemned building.

There were drugs and alcohol.

But, Daddy, it was supposed to be a clean raise. You can't control what

people do, Brianna.

I'm really disappointed in you.

I thought I was raising you better than this.

Okay, Daddy, I made a mistake.

Oh, you made lots of mistakes.

You know what else gets me?

Did you know if you would have told me about this, I would have said no?

But you went behind my back and did it anyway.

And the funny thing is, I fought for you.

You could be living with your mother.

But no, I thought I was the best parent for you. You are, Daddy. I love being

with you. Oh, of course.

This is Flextopia.

You know, I love being with me, too.

But I want to thank you because you taught me a very valuable lesson

I did?

Yeah.

I learned that I can be your father, but I can't be your friend.

I said no.

And that's the last time I'm going to tell you. No. I don't have any bad talk.

I don't have any bad talk. Why? Because I said so.

I don't know. I'm not feeling it, man.

Now, come on, Flex.

I'm two seconds away from underage drinking and a teenage pregnancy. Now,

on, bro. From the top. All right.

All right.

As long as you live under my roof, you're going to follow my rules.

I worked too hard to come home to this.

Now, go to your room.

I hate you. I'm going to live with mommy.

Is that cool, though? Oh, that was beautiful, baby.

You're the type of father the country needs. Please believe it. Oh, yeah.

Love you too, Netta.