Original subtitles

Man, I look good in camel.

Of course, I look good in any animal.

Yeah, camel's a pretty color.

My girl says she loves camel.

Man, she's a lot like a camel. She can hold water for days.

Uh, dog, if your girl hasn't called you, has changed her phone number and her

address, she might not be your girl.

Donna is wearing a fierce mohair jacket with a pair of to -die -for Gucci

shades. Can you say...

Bling, bling.

Bling and bling.

No and no.

All right, all right. Forget everything else. I just have to have this purse.

This is the Prada everybody has.

Ooh, man. Why buy Prada when you can go down to the bus station and get Prada?

But I... But I... Brianna, do you think my parents bought me an expensive purse

like that when I was your age?

I hope not.

You know why they didn't? Because I had to learn a little something called

discipline. That's right.

See, I took a part -time job, worked really hard, and then after saving my

pennies, I was able to buy a nice thing.

But, Daddy, that'll take forever. This purse is on sale now.

Brianna, if you use your head and be resourceful, one day you'll be easing on

down the road to financial freedom.

You see that Dior shirt over there? I'm going to buy two of them. You know why?

Because I'm free.

Money makes you mean.

Oh, girl, move out the way. Your dad dropped a nickel.

Hey.

Hold up. You might have to start calling me Dorothy because it looks like I'm

about to ease on down the road to financial freedom.

We'll be right back.

I love Halloween.

It's a night where you could just get wild and howl at the moon. Yeah.

Oh!

Well,

we can get wild up in here. We can play chambermaid and lord of the manor.

Now that I look at those legs, you would look kind of cute in an apron and a

feather duster.

Oh, I'm so sorry I broke the vise. Please don't spank me, my love.

Well, I don't have time to discipline you, but... Go get your jacket, Fifi.

Oh, if you was going to get physical, we should go to Icon Tina.

Oh, hi, Ms. Clark. Hey, Brianna.

Listen, your father and I are going to a Halloween party tomorrow night.

Oh, you guys are going out tomorrow night? That's huge. I'm so happy for

Okay. I didn't know you were so big on Halloween.

No, it's your 30 -day anniversary.

Usually for Daddy, that's Doomsday, not Date Day.

What are you talking about?

Usually on day 30, he calls with some lame story like he has to enter the

witness protection program.

Oh, on my personal favorite, he's framed for a crime he did not commit.

Don't wait for me, baby. You got to be free for the both of us.

I knew it. I knew he was working too hard for something. I mean, shedding a

when we were watching Billy Elliot talking about all the child wants to do

dance.

Thanks for the warning, Brianna.

No, it wasn't a warning. It was just a... I got to go. I got stuff.

Hey, let's go get those costumes.

Change of plans.

Let's go as ourselves.

You could be the 30 -day man, and I'll be history.

Bye -bye.

Wait a minute. I just left the room for two minutes. What changed?

Brianna.

Is it true that you don't date anyone for more than 30 days?

Well... Yes or no, Flex?

Technically, yes, because, you know, February is shortest month of the year.

know, I... You know.

I'm out of here. I'm saying... Natalie, come on. I used to be like that, but

this time with us, things are going to be different.

How so?

I don't know. It just is.

Look, Flex, I don't have time to play games.

If you can't be in a real relationship, then we should just end this right now.

Oh, so some other brother can get the jewel that I dropped?

I think not.

You're lucky I like corny. Yeah, I know you do.

Okay,

Spirit, is it me or is Arnis' girlfriend's butt getting bigger?

even know what he's seeing there, girl. Lord knows he can't see past her.

Oh, wait, I'm losing you. I must be going through a tunnel.

Here, ma 'am.

Oh, my credit card finally came.

Oh, isn't it beautiful?

Girl, I think I'm gonna cry.

Come on, girl, let's shop till we drop, and if anything's on the floor, we gonna

buy that, too.

Wayne,

come on, dog. Give up on... stacy she gone flex did you ever see that movie

without my daughter well not without my stacy i must find her

hey um um hey

what's up um um hey what's up with you nothing what you just put in your pocket

nothing rihanna show me what you put in your pocket daddy i told you i didn't

put nothing see all right my bad but i'm watching you

in my pocket.

That means we gotta buy some new pants, too.

Holla, darling!

I can't believe we bought all this stuff. I thought we was just going down

to get you that purse.

Well, that's all I really wanted until I saw the shoes that matched. And if you

buy the shoes, you gotta buy the belt.

Okay, the belt, I understand.

Did you have to buy the Gucci scuba gear?

I mean, what you gonna do with that?

Cash, but better. In taxi business, cash always better.

I'll be right back.

Oh, man, it's like Christmas up in here.

Except it's Halloween.

I can't wait to put on my costume.

I appreciate all the gifts, but how are you going to pay for all this?

Well, not that I plan on giving anything back.

You guys, I got this whole credit card thing figured out. All I have to do is

intercept the bill each month and pay the minimum balance.

hide some of this stuff from my daddy because it's the Brianna way.

Kids.

Kids.

Spoiled American children.

Okay, fine. A little something something for Ahmad.

thieves have you ever seen an elf with a bow and arrow uh yeah tonight yeah you

know what you know i'm not gonna let you dog out my mood because all my efforts

to find stacy have finally paid off look she wrote me a postcard why are you so

happy can't you read it says she's loving me forever dog it says she's

you for evan well man that doesn't make any sense look see look it says try to

find me move your thumb

myself in one of my arrows. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, man. We got a party to go to, and nobody likes a suicidal elf.

Ooh, holy made -marion. What's that?

Oh, this is my 30 -day anniversary gift for Natalie.

30 days is the aluminum anniversary.

Man, women like gifts that come with a receipt, something they can return.

Hey, man!

Come on.

Natalie's not like that.

Natalie's special.

She's an artist. She loves this kind of junk.

It's creative. It's cute. Oh, good Lord, and a mic killer.

Let's hit the mall.

Yeah, girl, I got three of them. You can never have too many.

Hey, hey, Daddy, what you doing home?

Are those crocodile boots?

Is that a parrot on your shoulder?

I guess, saucy little one. Where'd you get the boots?

Oh, no, these aren't real. I brought them from Spirit. They're part of my

Halloween costume. I'm a supermodel, so I can't be seen with a pirate and an

elf.

Could you get my wallet? I left it on the shelf by the door.

Hi, I'd like to order the meat pizza supreme.

No, no, no, no.

We'll be paying by charge. Excuse me while I fetch my Prada.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I can't find my card.

Okay, which one of you guys took my credit card?

Nobody took your card.

Yeah, we haven't seen it since... Ah, come on.

I don't think I like it on the elf.

But I like it for my baby.

If the pixie is done playing dress -up, I'll wrap it for you.

Hey, man, do you think if I bought Stacy some jewelry, she'd still be around?

Well, I think if you hadn't introduced her to your mechanic, Evan, she might

still be around.

When he said, your girl needs a tune -up, I thought he was talking about the

car, not Stacy.

I'm sorry, sir.

There's a problem with your card, and unfortunately, we don't accept

Very funny. Just run it through again. It's probably been, you know, I had been

having a good year.

Well, you're about to have 10 to 20 bad ones.

See, this card has been reported stolen, and I have been ordered to destroy it.

Stolen? That must be some mistake.

Cut. Cut.

You can't just go cutting people's stuff up. What if I cut up your stuff?

Like this right here.

Sir, how dare you?

Security. Security?

Oh, don't make me come back there. Go back, go back, go back.

I don't care what you're saying, man. What do you think I am? Let me handle

this, all right?

Excuse me, son.

What's your name?

Evan.

They steal my women. Come here.

Lex

was

on the way to see his gal to prove he was more than a 30 -day pal.

When he left to get her gift, oh, the wings have changed its shape.

not with Natalie is because of you and your elf in temper.

For the last time, that's an elf, I'm Robin Hood, and you're a thief.

I didn't steal the credit card, all right? There's obviously been some kind

mix -up. Oh, yeah, man. Prisons are filled with innocent men.

I'm innocent.

There a problem here?

Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, there's a problem. I'm in jail.

See, uh...

I have a big date with my girlfriend, right? Today's our 30 -day anniversary,

and there's been a terrible mistake.

I'm innocent.

Frozen's are filled with innocent people.

That's what I said.

I mean, don't I look familiar to you, huh?

W -I -N -X sports anchor?

Wait, wait, wait.

Flat out. Hey, hey, I don't go for that nasty talk.

Yo, Green Mile, I want my phone call. I know I get a phone call.

Who are you calling?

The rest of the village people?

Following behind him is what got you in this mess in the first place. Think

about that, Slim.

Slim, huh?

You're too pretty to be in prison.

You've got delicate features, Robin Hood.

See, you get me.

You, uh, don't be careful, and you might turn Robin Hood into a merry man.

Hey, baby.

Flex, you're two hours late.

Uh, you are not gonna believe what happened to me.

I'm in jail.

Oh, let me guess. For a crime you didn't commit.

Well, guess what, baby? I ain't waiting for you.

But I just... But nothing. Go walk the plank, 30 -day man.

I'm not a 30 -day man.

Anymore.

I know you have it, Akma. You were the last person that had it. I just want you

to know that our report is stolen and I hope you get arrested.

Shame on you, Akma. Shame!

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

Hello?

I'm in jail.

I was buying a gift for Natalie, and I got arrested. They think I stole a

card.

A credit card?

I need you to post bail.

Hey! I said one phone call, blue beard. Call Grandma!

I'm in the best relationship I've been in for the past five years.

And I'm not going to lose Natalie because of some stupid

misunderstanding. Okay!

reading it for me?

And me.

Why does he get to be free?

Oh, I'm not free.

I'm a prisoner of love.

When I get free, I'm gonna find a sharp toothbrush and shake you.

Hi, I'm here to post bail for... Daddy!

Thank God you're here, Bree.

Don't worry, I'm gonna get you out right now.

Uh, hi, I'm Brianna Barnes. I'm here to post bail for Flex Washington.

Barnes.

Oh, I see your name right here.

The credit card your father stole was yours?

What?

Make it five, because you're a dead girl walking.

All right, Mr. Washington, you are free to go.

All right, Daddy, let's go home.

Daddy's going home, but you're going up the river, Pop -Tart.

What?

You're on the right to remain silent.

What's going on here, huh? Why are you arresting my child?

Because, sir, she sold goods bought on Reddit without a, uh...

Retail license.

That's right.

We'll make a good team.

Daddy, please help me. Don't leave me. I've been here days.

Be strong, baby.

I'm going to get you the best lawyer money can buy.

can get you in a lot of trouble.

But, Daddy, I was going to pay off the balance at the simple minimum rate of

a month or at 2 % of the balance or whichever is less.

Brianna, you're going to be paying for your little weekend shopping spree for

the next 20 years.

Credit card debt is not the road to financial freedom. You know what it is?

No, Daddy.

I'll tell you what it is.

It's a ticket to the bank. Uh -huh. The bank of Rupsy.

So, Justice, you can let it go.

It's midnight. I gotta get to Natalie's before I turn into a pumpkin and prove

to her that I'm not a 30 -day man.

Oh, I can't believe I have a record.

How cool am I?

Go on. I got this, dog. All right. I don't think she's learned her lesson.

back in there.

the window and that's what it had just you two now that you're saying i'm

one i'm offended i'm sorry little boy i gave all my treats away to the other

children but really i was in jail see here's my mugshot you're

incredible flex what did you do spend three hours in kinko's doing that bye

did i hurt you no i'm all right then stick your finger back in

It's after midnight.

It's day 31. Not day 30, day 31.

I mean, doesn't the fact that I'm here prove that I'm not running away from

relationship?

What were you in for?

Credit card mix -up.

See, I was getting you an anniversary present. You were getting me a present?

Yeah, because the one I made you... You made me something.

I guess Dwayne was right.

I guess Dwayne was wrong.

I'm sorry that I ruined your Halloween.

Now remember, I just got out of jail.

I haven't seen a woman for a while.

Love you too, Netta.