Original subtitles

Last time on 101.

When you spill your guts on this videotape and our man sees it, he's

silly putty in your hand.

I just want to let you know that I like you as much as you like me.

Now scratch that.

I love you, boo.

I've been invited to a tryout with the Clippers next week in Los Angeles!

Are you trying to tell me that you're taking Brianna away from me? All I'm

saying is, the year is up.

Brianna, I bought this tape.

Ride, ride the tape.

Uh, so.

Uh, so.

Is there something you want to say to my face?

Hello, ba -

Now, do you have something to say?

Well, it depends on what you have to say. You know a kiss says everything.

Does a kiss say shut up?

You know what? Let this take you to talking spinach tea.

Brianna, get that back!

Brianna! Get that back! Stop it!

Oops.

I'm sorry.

Maybe you should have got it on DVD.

You said you love me, boo.

I'm going to make you say those words again if it kills me.

What's going on? Well, remember that Arnette's been chasing after Brianna

since we met her. So I made a tape to show him how I feel, but obviously it

wasn't enough.

Is that all?

Let's see, sweetie, what you have to do. Nicole, Nicole, hold on, hold on. I got

this. Roll on, roll on.

Brianna, why don't you just tell him straight to his face?

Because I...

He's the boy. He should be chasing me. Like Mama always says, the cat don't

chase the dog. Right, Mama?

Well, that's how your father caught me.

Meow.

All right, look, listen to your daddy.

Now, if he was worth making a tape for, which I don't think he is, then he's

worth following your pride for. Now, fill out a deposit slip and take that to

the bank.

The heart bank.

Okay, you know what? I think he should open an account at the corny bank. Yes.

The heart bank.

Oh, no, Flex. She's going with me.

Oh, listen here, cat dog.

She's staying here.

Man, she hates Nova Scotia, Nicole. How can she hate Nova Scotia? It's Canada's

ocean playground. It has robust winters, reluctant springs, fresh summers, and

lingering fall.

And Brianna likes it here in the good old U .S. of A. With its black snow

winters, its high -crime springs, heat -stroke summers, and high -crime falls.

This has nothing to do with Canada.

This has to do with you and your mistress.

My what? Ever since we were 16, it's always been about you, me,

and Orange Betty.

And whenever you're forced to choose, you've always chosen her.

Oh, that's ridiculous. Giving an inanimate object human qualities.

Stop digging your nails into her.

You see what I mean? It's always about her. No, you tripping.

I'm tripping. You're always tripping. Okay, fine.

Brianna could stay here with you.

Now you're talking. No problem.

But, uh, on one condition.

You gotta make a choice.

The NBA or Brianna.

But I can't turn nobody Then I'll isolate you now When there's nobody

y 'all before I head off to L .A. to try out for the Clippers!

Uh -huh. And I'm going on for the ride. What? Somebody say something.

Hey,

uh, Dad, did you renovate or did P. Diddy throw up in here?

It's my new hotness, shorty. You know what I'm saying.

Man, nobody knows what you're saying.

So, son, when you gonna blaze out to L .A., man?

Uh, Dad, there's nothing sadder than an old rapper.

I'm leaving in a few hours. What about Brianna? Oh, she's cool. She's cool.

She hates me, but I don't want to talk about that right now.

Okay, son, we'll rap about it later, all right?

Hey, but did I tell y 'all that WYNX is sending a film crew to follow me around?

You know what I'm saying? They calling it the life of an NBA rookie.

Man, I had a film crew follow me around once. Yeah, they called it Exhibit A of

my divorce proceedings.

I'm looking forward to the groupies.

Those mindless girls hoping to use me to get to Flex.

I love this game.

Hey, Flex, can I holler at you for a minute?

Hey, what you doing is hot.

The whole community got your back.

Hey, I appreciate your support.

Cool, cool, cool. Now check it.

When you make the squad, I'm going to need you to miss a few baskets. You

No, Shaq. Shaq, a few free throws, whatever. I'll cut you in on the ching

-ching.

Hold up, Walt. Are you asking me to cheat, bruh? Are you asking me to throw

game? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Brother, no.

All right, don't be so negative.

I'm telling you to win.

To win for us.

Flax, you know, I didn't realize how cute you were until today.

Candy, I thought you had a man.

That's just what I tell you.

He doesn't have an exclusively binding contract with his signing bonus.

Neither do I.

Oh.

So, son, you ready to talk about Brianna?

Dad, you know it's an awful thing when your child hates you.

Why? It never bothered me none.

Did you tell Nicole that Brianna could stay with me and your mother?

Yep, and it was a great plan, too, until Nicole killed it, just gutted it like a

fish. Now, let me tell you what happened.

I, I, I...

First of all, all right, okay, Brianna has had an amazing year here with me,

thanks to you.

Yay, mommy!

Uh, get to the point, Flex.

The point is this. During the six weeks of training camp, Brianna can stay here

with my folks, where she can continue studying and cheerleading.

Yay, daddy!

And then when I make the team... You mean if you make the team. When? If.

If. When? If. When? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're right. Let me and your mom talk for a minute, okay?

Okay. Thank you. Love you guys. We love you too, Bree.

Oh, Flex, please. Your plan is just so weak.

Well, that was plan A. You didn't hear plan B yet. And what's that?

That just ain't involved you, a soothing hot bath, and a blow dryer.

Very funny.

Yeah.

Now let's get back to your plan A.

Now what happens if you make the NBA?

When I make it to the NBA.

Whatever.

You're either going to be on the road or in L .A.

I mean, the only time Brianna will see you is on TV saying, Oh, there go my

daddy! Oh, there go my daddy!

You're being a little bit too dramatic, Nicole.

And I think you're being a little unrealistic, Flex.

Why should Brianna have a part -time dad when she can have a full -time mom?

What can I say, Pop?

The witch had me.

Hey, Flex, if I learned anything from my second wife, it's to marry a woman who

doesn't speak any English.

She can say the words, I do, don't.

Except for you, Candy.

Sweetie, I need a sugar daddy, not a milk dud.

Flex, you're a very resourceful man. You'll be all right. I bet the little

stays here. I appreciate the optimism.

No, really, I mean I bet the little girl stays here.

Hey, man, did you get those copies of Matrix 1 and 2 for me? Oh, man, even

better. I got you Men in Black 4.

What's up, sad heads?

Hey, Eunice, what are you doing here?

I brought you your lunch, baby.

And I came to check my son, who is ducking my phone calls.

Now, you need to stay home and give up this NBA nonsense.

Didn't you learn anything the first time you tripped and blew out your knee?

Yes, Mom.

Never cry on national TV.

Hey, Fletcher, Fletcher.

Look here, let me snap this moment with the proud parents.

All right.

That'll be $50.

Man, get out of here.

Oh, look at my baby smile.

Vianna has that same smile, huh?

Yes, she does.

But she wasn't wearing it today.

Oh, how did Mom take it? Oh, did she cry?

I think she handled it pretty well. Oh, good, good. You know we gotta take her

out for a nice dinner before your flight, right?

So, which part of our plan did she like the most?

Uh, the part where you go with her to Nova Scotia. Now, what's the number of

ribs and such? Non -smoking, right?

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm going to Nova Scotia? Yeah, isn't that great?

You're going to Canada's ocean playground, huh?

Daddy!

Rihanna, baby, I tried, but it just doesn't make sense.

What doesn't make sense is me moving from Atlanta to here just to end up in

Scotia anyway.

I feel like I'm in foster care. Thank you, foster daddy.

Brianna, I'm sorry.

And it kills me to say this, but your mother's right.

I mean, why should you have a part -time dad when you can have a full -time mom?

You know, sweetie, we're just trying to do what's best for you.

No, dad, I think we're doing what's best for you.

So did you at least run after Brianna?

You run too fast, Pop. I gotta save money for training camp. You know what

saying, fella?

Now look.

You take that narrow behind back to your house and you work things out with your

daughter. And don't come back until you do.

Go!

My dad always gets what he wants. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. It's not

fair.

No, you're going to Canada.

I'm going to miss you so much.

Ray, Ray, stay still and you better not tell Mama.

It's just not fair. I thought my father would fight for me to stay here with my

friends. By friends, do you mean me or Arnaz?

Girl, you.

Don't even talk to me about Arnaz. I am so over him.

Ooh, is that him over there with all that sweat just glistening on his

bronzy chest? Do you see it?

Maybe you should take your pilot's advice and talk to Arnaz. Go to Nova

with a clean heart.

You know what?

You're right.

No sense in playing childhood games today.

I'm a woman.

Ah! Here he comes, here he comes, here he comes.

What's up, Brianna?

Oh.

Arnaz, where'd you come from? Come on, girl. Stop playing.

You know you want to get on this bike and ride with me into the sunset.

Okay.

Hey, Arnaz.

I'm ready for my ride.

Oh, so you were going to ride into the sunset with her, too?

No, you see, what happened was... Man, it's hot out here.

Come on, Arnaz. My calves are swollen.

See? Uh -huh.

I see.

Go ahead. Give the girl with the fat calves a ride.

Don't you know fat is back, Bri -Bri?

Lake Bloomer.

All right, Brianna.

I'm going.

If I pedal down this hill, I'm not pedaling back.

You got something to say?

Yeah.

Get to petting him, baby.

All right, then.

Bye, Bree Bree.

You're just going to let him ride off with her like that?

What's the use?

I'm moving anyway.

Brad is not back yet?

I know she's sitting on that stupid spirit. I'm going to get her.

No, well, she needs this time to be with her friend, Flex.

Let her come to you when she's ready.

Maybe you're right.

So what are you doing?

Well, before we go to Nova Scotia, I'm planning a little side trip to downtown

Pugwash. It's my favorite city in Canada.

On a good day, you can see humpbacks and fimpbacks and even a minke, the size of

all mammalian ocean dwellers.

Are you high?

Yeah, well, just make sure Brianna takes her blue coat up there, all right? And

if she catches a cold, give her chicken soup with rice, not noodles. She hates

noodles. Flex, I had raised that girl for 14 years.

You've had her only one.

I know what to do.

Noodles.

But I think it's cute how good a father you are. Yeah, you know, we've grown so

close over the years.

She's my ray of sunshine.

Bang. Somebody better go talk to her.

Not you, Daddy!

That's my cue.

Oh, but listen, listen.

I'm leaving soon, and I gotta talk to her.

Hook up with me in another 14 years!

What? Oh, I ain't gonna talk, man. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why don't

you take a walk down to the barbershop, cool off a little, and I'll see what I

can do, okay?

Okay.

Hey, sweetie.

Oh, baby.

Okay.

What's going on?

Mom, everything's all messed up now.

Arnaz is riding around with some hoochie with fat calves.

I mean, I hate it that I like him so much.

Oh, baby, baby.

I know what you're talking about.

Karen Draper.

That was my fat calf girl.

Your dad was always checking her out and grinning at her like he was a Kool -Aid

man.

I used to get so mad, I just wanted to slap those cute little dimples right off

his face.

I know.

With Arnaz, it's his eyelashes.

There are little fans on his face.

Just fluttering like butterflies.

Flutter.

Talk to Mama. Come on back.

Listen, Bree, um, we need to talk about your daddy.

Um, I think you're being a little hard on him. Hard on him?

Shoot, he's being hard on me.

Well, sweetie, don't you have dreams?

You mean like the one where you're standing in front of the class naked? I

that one except Arnaz is there, too, playing the guitar and eating pizza.

Okay, uh, forget about the dreams. Let's, uh, let's talk about choices,

Choice number one.

Your dad could stay here with you and miss out on an opportunity of a

Shoot, I'm cool with that. See, now you understand me.

Or, or, or, choice number two.

He could pursue his lifelong dream and love you for letting him do it.

Uh, which one gets me out of going to Nova Scotia?

Baby, you were always going to Nova Scotia.

But your daddy's about to leave soon.

So now what are you going to do about that?

I don't know what to do. Nicole hasn't called yet. I'm about to leave. My

daughter hates me. You know what? Maybe I shouldn't go. No, Flex, no. We're

getting on that plane. And do you know why?

Because this is our dream. You being in the NBA, me riding on your coattails.

Please, Flex, don't defer my dream.

You keep moving and you won't have a dream.

Flex, I am so glad you finally came to your senses. You need to stay here. Be

adult. Hey, Flex, for whatever it's worth, I... definitely go. You don't

son what to do. I tell my son what to do. Walter, you got a point.

Brianna, I'm glad you're here.

Look, Daddy, can I talk to you?

Listen, sweetie, if me going to the NBA means losing you, then I won't go.

Daddy, please.

What gave you the way to ask? Because if I would have left, that means I'm

lying.

Look,

Mom helped me realize that you'll never feel complete unless you go to L .A. and

do your thing.

And I don't want to be the reason that you're not happy.

Baby, you are what makes me happy.

And this has been the best year of my life.

Come on, Flex.

We got to play the cat dog.

I guess this is it.

Brianna, if I make it, you'll be the first to know.

No, Daddy, when you make it. Oh, that's my girl.

This one's on the house.

So, did you figure out how you're going to say goodbye to Arnett?

Well, while he and Ginger were inside getting a glass of water, something came

to me.

Charge!

Love you too, Netta.