Original subtitles

Last time on One on 1. Oh, great party the other night. People are still

about it. So where's your girl Natasha?

Where's your boy Louis?

I miss you.

I miss you too.

No, no, no.

You should stop.

You're getting married.

Maybe I owe it to myself to be sure.

Do you really want to know what happened with Natasha in your bedroom?

Nothing. She broke up with me and hasn't spoken to me since.

Oh, black...

You swore you would be here.

Tanya, sorry I'm late. You up?

She made filet mignon.

You just tried to cook me. What were you thinking?

Well, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I saw this big menacing silhouette, and

I have seen too many movies where a cute girl like me living alone ends up being

a cute dead girl dying alone, so naturally I... Oh, baby, I am so

sorry. But where were you? I was waiting up for you all night.

I was doing father stuff with Brian and the kids.

Oh, you're such a good daddy.

You know what?

I make it up to you with something tall and icy.

What, you got my ex -wife in the closet?

No. Skip and get naked.

Can't I just get naked?

No, baby. It's a combination of herbs designed to give you more bounce.

In your bounce.

Bounce me and I'll bounce you back.

Wait a minute.

Should we be doing this?

I mean, you're engaged, and if I were your fiancée, I'd kill me.

You're right. It would just be wrong.

Man, we'd never be able to live with ourselves.

What are you doing?

Well, you've been living with yourself this long. One more night won't hurt.

you're going to play around.

to let you down when there's nobody

I gotta go.

But it's early, and Mama is making breakfast.

Baby, I would love to stay, but I've been here all weekend. I've got a child

look after.

Rihanna is fine.

She's at the little gypsy girl's house.

Where are my keys?

But I was gonna make my world -famous French toast and serve it on my stomach,

and you were gonna be in charge of pouring the syrup.

Baby, we have gone through three bottles this weekend, okay? I really have to

go, okay? Keys!

Okay. Well, why don't you retrace your steps? And while you're doing that, I'll

be frenching my toe.

Lord,

help me. She's feeling me too much.

Oh,

man.

Okay, how about I go to work, spend some time with Brianna, and then I'll come

back later to tuck you in. Okay, one time. What should I wear?

Seven and nothing.

Three and that's it.

Four! Look at him,

surrounded by a bunch of hoochies, with his braids and his javelin.

I'm asking for you.

Okay.

Dang, girl, it's on the braids. I left my emergency glue at home.

All right, I'll ask him.

Wait, I... Arnaz, baby, your coat looks a little low on ice.

How about I hook you up?

Now, remember, Ginger, I like the round cubes, not the half moons.

So...

cute girl to the main moon like that?

I haven't decided.

I might have somebody else in mind.

Really?

Are you going with Louis?

Uh, I haven't decided.

I might have someone else in mind, too.

Really?

Like who?

Excuse.

I'm sorry, baby. They didn't have any round cubes, but I could lick the edges

off the square ones.

Oh, you'd do that for me?

Mm -hmm. All right, here you go, baby. Take care of that.

Where were we? Oh, yes. So, who's taking me to the dance?

Uh, well, um... Let's just say, if you're a fan of Little Bow Wow, you

want to get there early.

That Tanya is Sparrow.

I love you.

Oh, my God.

She shrunk in her head for me.

How did I get here, man?

I ran into her at a club. We realized we missed each other, got together for one

weekend. But I didn't expect any of this.

Come on, man.

You knew she was weak for you, and you went over there anyways and activated

little love senses.

You unmade her bed. Now you have to lie there without any covers, my brother.

Hey, man, I've been Tanya, all right?

Dissed, dismissed, and set aside.

Left alone in a motel room with nothing but a wig, a support bra, and some Hugo

sticks.

All right, all right.

I'll send her some flowers, tell her I had a good time, but I'm seeing other

people.

No, Flex.

What you have to do is you have to tell her that what you two did was wrong and

that she should walk down the aisle with the man whose ring she's wearing.

Then you should say you're sorry and let her get on with her life.

Since when did you become so sensitive about women's needs?

Man, two days handcuffed to a sleazy motel bed tends to soften you up a bit.

Flex,

you are just in time.

I... Tanya.

We need to talk. I have something very important to say. Oh, my God. Oh, my

You're proposing?

Why would I propose to a woman who's already engaged?

Because I'm not, baby.

I broke it off for us.

I didn't tell you to do that.

And would somebody please turn that song off?

Listen,

Tanya, our weekend together was great. More than great. It was life -altering.

moment in time I will never forget.

Tanya, we can't do this anymore. I'm not ready for the kind of commitment that

you want.

Remember, that's why you broke it off before.

Yeah, but now we're in love.

Aren't we, Flex? I mean, I will give up everything. I want to devote my entire

life to you.

Oh, Tanya, that's sweet, but your life is such a precious thing, you know, far

too precious to devote to me.

But... Listen, I know us parting will sting a little at first, but in time,

we'll both go on.

Take care of yourself.

Not before I take care of you, Mr.

Flex. Walk out on me, Washington.

that you didn't like me. Oh, girl, stop thanking me. Take another bite of that

taquito. You do it.

And two dip and get naked.

We didn't know any of these. That's compliments to your number one fan.

So, do you have a lot of fans buying you drinks?

Yeah, girl, all the time.

Dr. Tittlehorn?

Sorry, wrong number. Would you please stop calling and ask you for Tanya?

Tanya?

Tanya?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, man, could you stop that?

We didn't order... that's all.

No, senor. Your wife did.

What's going on here, Flex?

I think I'm being stalked. No, you are being left high and not dry.

So you wanted to dance with little Bow Wow.

Okay, so what are you going to do? Tape his poster to your back and walk him

sideways?

Don't you get it? I was the girl of his dreams.

The dreamy does not turn around and ask the dreamer if he wants to go to the

dance. So, dreamy, what are you going to do?

Simple. I'm going to ask the next guy who walks through that door.

Oh, girl, it's Motormouth Lewis, though.

Step aside.

Uh, Lewis, would you like to go to the dance with me?

Obviously, you're not keeping up with the ladies.

I'm going with Evergreen Gibson. She's hot for me because she thought me and

were making out in your father's bedroom at your party.

Thank you.

So not only is she sabotaging my dates and finding their phone numbers, she's

following me everywhere.

My God.

There she is now.

What up now?

Man, what is it about me that makes me so irresistible to women, dog?

Man, the thing is, she doesn't know the evil flex. The flex that's self

-absorbed, self -centered, and self -fit.

Especially when it comes to money.

Speaking of which, can I borrow a pie dollar?

No, but you ought to order something, dog.

I need to show her that loving me ain't easy, even if I am beautiful.

La, la, la, la, la. Come on, man.

My brother, it's time to fight crazy with crazy.

Watch this, all right?

Hey, Tanya, I thought it over. I made a mistake.

You want to move in?

You need to hook yourself some buffalo wings and some beer. You know, because

game day ain't game day unless you burp and taste the hot sauce.

Game day, burp. I got it. I got it. And you're going to like this.

For being my baby, you get to stay in my room all by yourself until the game's

over. Yes, you do.

Hey, Tanya. Hey.

Flex tells me he's laundry day, so hit that, will you?

And use a little fabric softener on the box of shorts.

Got a little rash.

Might want to hit this, too.

Okay,

um, do I have to do his laundry?

Dwayne has family, and what is rule number 47?

Family takes care of family.

Yes, they do.

Dr. Smackdown! Man,

I think it's working.

That was genius. Hey, man, anything for my dog.

Tanya!

Don't hate

me

because Arnaz doesn't.

I quit her.

are we going to have some us time?

Every third Sunday of the month. See? Rule 48.

You know what, Flex?

I am getting sick of all your rules.

I never knew you were this impossible to live with, and I never thought I'd say

this, but I don't think that we're meant to be together.

I'm going home.

Excuse me.

What? No, baby, please don't go. I need you.

you to detail my car

this relationship, and I'm not going to give up that easily.

Butter, fresh turn, rule number 49. See, I added my own rule. I am so on board.

Woman, what does it take to drive you out of our lives?

What are you saying, Flex?

Ooh, Daddy, you might want to slow your roll because those muffins smell real

good.

All right, Daddy, I'm gone. Bye.

Listen, I can't do this anymore, okay?

The game is over. You have to leave.

Me letting you move in here was part of a bigger plan.

To make you hate it here.

Oh, I don't believe you.

Yes, oh, yes. I'm a bad man.

I mean, don't you hate me? Don't you want to throw a brick through my window,

hobble me, torch my cocky -duty little car like a normal woman? No.

No, that's crazy. I love you.

Oh, stop saying that, Tom.

You love me too much.

I hate you, Flex Washington.

Okay, now do you love me?

Not the way you want me to.

I'm sorry.

Do you really mean that?

Well, I guess there's nothing left to say.

Goodbye, Flex.

Tanya, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Whatever.

I hope she's going to be all right.

And thank you for this food, which I'm about to receive.

Hmm.

Crazy women sure can cook.

Is that my car?

Tanya, you're going to be all right.

And that's not my car!

Okay, girls, here's the phone. Call our names.

house tomorrow at 3 o 'clock. Get back here!

Love you too, Netta.