Original subtitles

Hey. Oh, hey, Daddy. How was the game?

Ooh, you should have seen your old man out there. I was shaking and baking,

giving and going, showing him both.

OK,

well, to me, it looks like he was crashing and burning.

Come on, hit me with the rock.

Oh, all right.

Ow! Oh, baby, you all right? I don't know. How does it look?

Oh, no, I knocked out your tooth.

Where is it?

Gotcha.

That's not even funny. I was getting my story ready for your school council

about how you fell.

Come on, Daddy. It's Halloween. I'm just having a little fun. You've been having

Halloween fun with me all week. Now stop busting my chops and go bust some suds.

All right, all right. No more prank.

Oh, dang it. The fork in the garden's disposal.

But I can't tell no one else.

So don't isolate yourself when there's nobody else.

Perfect specimen right under your nose.

Check it out. We're hitting the stair faster.

Oh, yeah.

I cannot believe he would move into my building.

Relax, man. We're not even sure that it's him. What's going on, Daddy?

Puddin'. This is all about Elliot Templeton.

Elliot Templeton? The basketball star?

Gather around, children. Let me tell you a story.

Now, see, Elliot and Fletch are longtime rivals.

Drafted in the NBA the same year.

Elliot goes on to become a multi -millionaire and the pitch man for Count

Chalkula.

Now, Flex blows out his knee in the second season and ends up living the

his life as just, well, your daddy. That's it.

Look, Dwayne, he is always trying to steal my life. He's like a hoochie in

VIP section getting buzzed off my champagne.

Next time I see him, I'm gonna rip his eyes out, I'm gonna pull his legs off,

and I'm gonna kick him in the butt with his own foot!

Elliot Templeton. He ain't paying no bills for me. He ain't doing nothing for

me.

Elliot, my dog.

Wait,

I thought you said they hated each other.

Men don't hate. It's good to see you. How long has it been?

Too long, man. When I heard that you lived in this building, I figured if

good enough for Flex Washington, it's almost good enough for me.

Hey, you know, I heard... San Antonio traded you to the Wizards.

Apparently the Spurs wanted to win. That's just what I heard.

Did you see Jordan today?

Oh, yeah, yeah, in practice.

You know I'm the only one that can stick him. You know.

Did he sweat on you? Can you lay a little of that on me?

I see the little guy is still on the short yellow bus.

But look here.

If you guys...

Want to meet the man?

Why don't you come to my Halloween party tomorrow night?

Oh!

Jay, I have got to go to that party. Oh, no, no, no, no. I am sure there are no

kids allowed.

Oh, they can come. Okay, my kid's not allowed.

Look, sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't party with my

daughter. That only happens with people who live in trailer parks or carnival

folk.

because you're going straight to boarding school in the out.

Somebody better tell Billie Jean to beat it because the king of pop.

See, it's moonwalking juice.

Okay, well, please put some cones out, because somebody's going to slip and

fall.

So, Michael, baby, who's throwing this party?

Oh, just some guy. I hate that. It's just why I'm taking you there, to show

off. I guess I better go push everything up.

Man, this party's the talk of the town.

I'll push stuff in. This afro is starting to itch.

Trick or treat.

Oh, look, it's Cisco and the Black Blossom.

It's still not too late to invite us to the party and be a cool dad.

Oh, yes, it is. Peace out, losers.

Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, and Bill Bellamy.

This party is off to easy.

Yeah, but is Bill Cosby here, huh? Well, I guess it's not for cheesy.

I gotta go back to the punch bowl. I think I dropped my Afro pig in there.

Elliot.

He's bad.

Or is he bad?

So where'd you get your costume?

Celebrity costumes, off the internet, straight from Hollywood.

Where'd you get yours from?

From Michael.

Here, baby. Thank you, baby.

Elliot, I'd like you to meet the soul sister who brings me love and love.

Tonya!

Elliot!

You two know each other?

We, uh, sort of dated.

You are looking good, girl.

I haven't seen you since that weekend in Madrid.

Olé, Flex.

Olé, Flex, huh?

You could have told me. You told me the guy throwing the party was some guy you

hated. You never said it was Elliot. You would have told me if you knew?

No.

Listen, don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you.

Okay, I wonder what that was all about.

She probably told him she dated Elliot, too.

Hey, man.

That's my jacket.

what you're doing uh did jillian watch an mtv oh really um what's all that

a French maid.

Why are you just trying to scare us?

Thank you,

Elliot.

Flex, man, that Elliot sure knows how to throw a party. Look at this.

Salmon mousse, mouette, and chandon.

Pastry stuff with things I can't even pronounce.

Spinach.

Elliot so much, maybe you should be his best friend.

Nah, I can never get a guy like that.

Look, Dwayne, this guy's always trying to feel a piece of my life. Everything

I've ever had, he's always won.

Every game I won, it was my thing to throw my jersey into the crowd.

What does he do? He throws his sneakers into the crowd. I tried that, and the

old lady had to get 62 stitches to close up her lip.

Damn, Lex, I've never seen you this jealous. I'm not jealous, okay? I'm too

for that.

Don't you think that's a little bit intimate?

You know what? I don't like you like this. I think I'm going to go over there

and talk to that mime. I'm sure he's got a better conversation.

Hey, man, don't you think you're a little rough on Tanya? Oh, you mean

Tanya? Beneath that itchy, unkempt afro lies the heart of a beautiful young

woman who just needs a little love.

You're right, man. I need to relax.

Yeah, come on, man. Just breathe.

Thanks, man, for being my good friend, dog. Oh, come on, now. You can always

count on me.

You know, I'd never leave your side.

Hey, Dwayne, a friend of mine wants to buy a used station wagon for his

housekeeper. Gotta go.

You've done well for yourself, Flex.

Great girlfriend, great career.

I hate to say it, but I want to be just like you when I hang up my sneaks.

Well, you know, it's a long, hard road.

Before I got this gig, I had to pay my dues.

I had to do the dirty work.

Well, you know, I'm retiring after this season.

Your old knee is going out. You know how that is.

But I got a little scoop for you.

I'm all ears, bro.

I just spoke to my agent.

He set up an interview for me to be the next lead sports anchor at WYNX.

My WYNX.

Brianna, please, look, I don't have any time for your pranks. Go home.

No, but, Daddy, I'm telling the true spirit. I saw Brianna get very scared.

Uh -huh, which made us very scared.

Go now.

But, Dad, it's not a prank. You've got to believe me. He's a killer.

The only thing he's killing is the electric slide.

I'm going to kiss you kids.

This ain't about you.

Oh.

Okay, he's headed to our side of the building.

And my God, unless he's going to do laundry, we're in trouble. We're going

die.

I should have been the one with the NBA career.

I should have been the one rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.

I should be the one kicking it with Count Chocula.

This is about me and how I never realized my dreams.

reminds me of what I could have been.

What you could have been.

Look at what you are.

Fleck, I know you and I know Elliot.

He's stuck up, he's materialistic, he's insecure, and quite frankly, he's

boring.

He's got nothing on the flat -out man.

I guess I pretty much made a fool of myself, huh?

part of your charm and i thank you eat that up and i won't stop till you get

enough

Oh, yeah, then where'd you come up here for, huh?

Let's see who's behind this mask.

Ooh!

A murderer with bad skin for you is professional.

That looks like he needs some backup.

So I'm backing up. Elliot, help me out.

Stuart!

Flex, why are you manhandling my accountant?

Because your accountant murdered a little old peep and a French maid.

The French maid is my wife.

She had a little too much to drink, so I put her in a cab and sent her home.

Oh, yeah?

Well, where's little Bo Peep, huh? Where's little Bo Peep?

Where's little Bo Peep?

Stuart, you weren't fooling around with Delilah again, were you?

My wife was gone, the bedroom was open. Do the math.

Sorry,

man.

Sorry it's a little rough on you.

But that's just how I handle my business.

Let's do it. Let's talk.

Hey, everybody's welcome to come back to the party.

Elton John is going to do a duet with whoever's willing.

I know all the words that don't go breaking my heart.

Dance on the Kiki D part.

Guess I'll be seeing you around, Fleck.

Hey, you know, I want to apologize for my behavior.

I was tripping, you know.

Yeah, you were.

But you've always been emotional.

Well, that's what made me the ball player with a lot of heart, you know.

that's in the past.

Let's just bury the hatchet, dog.

But, uh, I am glad that you moved into my building. And I'm also glad that

you're not trying to steal my life, you know?

Oh, sweet, naive flex.

I am trying to steal your job.

And your life.

not like others.

Love you too, Netta.