Original subtitles

Let me... Let me... Ooh, baby, my wine is on low tide.

Why don't you walk them legs over to the fridge and get us some more?

Hmm, do you really want more wine or do you want to watch Mama walk? Oh!

Ooh,

that's all right. Either way, I'll be intoxicated. I'm a wino for your walk.

Since I started dating the hottest mama in Baltimore.

Why don't you go and open it up?

Gucci! Oh, you really do love me.

All my girlfriends were so wrong.

What's this?

Another game of pin the vixen on my daddy?

Tony wants to know what you're doing next Friday.

Tell Tony I'll catch him later.

But she wants to talk to you now.

Yeah, Flex, why don't you talk to her?

Him, her, she? Why are people so caught up on gender?

People are people, people.

Yo, what up, Tony?

Eh, it's a bad time.

Eh, forget about it.

Hey, you know what?

I'm going to bring you your sausage tomorrow.

All right, dear.

You know, Flex, you can be honest with me. I mean, we haven't said we're

exclusive. If you're seeing other women, just tell me. I won't get mad.

Okay, I'm seeing other women. Okay, now I'm mad.

I should just throw these shoes out the window, but instead I'm going to use

them to walk right out.

Well, I can't turn nobody in.

So don't isolate yourself when there's nobody.

in your poppers and dinner with you next week.

How's Tuesday feeling? Sounds like a fiesta.

Daddy.

Oh, my bad.

For my daughter, I'd like to get her a banana split. She needs some cheering

Tracy likes banana splits.

Listen, I know you shared your first kiss with him, but that was two weeks

You gotta move on. That rolled off, you know?

and he doesn't like you back.

Whose life is better than mine?

Do you want me to get the phone book or should I spare you the pain?

For the first time in two decades, I have the entire house to myself.

I just sent my mom on a world -class vacation.

Oh, not midget town again.

No, no, she got banned from that.

The Blackfoot Indian Casino and Petting Zoo.

off at the bus stop with 20 pounds of nickels and a fistful of goat pellets.

What are the goats going to eat?

I'm too depressed to eat. I can't stop thinking about Tracy.

Well, I need to celebrate. Let me hit this.

Can you please try to give your dad or daughter some advice?

Brie Brie.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

So when am I going to find my prince?

Girl, I don't have a crystal ball. Maybe never. Life ain't fair.

It's a good sprinkle to set it off.

Rihanna, in a few minutes, I need you and your little prince to go in the back

and play.

Daddy's got a work meeting.

Daddy, are you having women over again?

No, just one.

Tracy, I can't stand you, I hate you, and the sight of you makes me sick.

Missing you much, Brianna?

Girl, you're burying too much of your soul.

Yeah, especially for a guy who smells like Cheetos.

You know what? You're right. I ain't going out like that.

Dear Tracy, I don't want no scrubs.

Brianna, you're vulnerable right now. The last thing you need is some brother

trying to take advantage of your pain.

here. Two tickets to see Lenny Kravitz on Saturday. Me, you, and your broken

heart.

Lex, I bust my butt at the producer to get you a copy of the Layla Ali tape for

your interview, and then somehow it mysteriously ends up in my briefcase, so

gotta come all the way over here to... I love that top.

Thank you.

I'll see you in the morning. Oh, no, no, no.

hate to send you all the way home on an empty stomach wine cheese oyster

like so many times i have to tell you you do not seduce the box me trying to

seduce you no i would never do that chocolate covered strawberry

i

know what's going on here flex a little merlot a little gouda Next thing

you know, I'm being paddled on your pool table and everybody at work is calling

me spanky.

I don't have a paddle, but I can work wonders with a spatula.

Don't mess with me, Flex. I'm on my way to the gun range and I'm packing a

Glock.

Well, hello.

Here I am, unannounced and clearly unexpected.

I'm Stacy, Flex's producer.

Hi, I'm Tanya, Flex's... What am I, Flex? Oh, very pretty. Very pretty. You

bomb.

Well, we all know that.

Bam!

Ooh, he busts him out. Girl, this better than passions.

Yeah, maybe he'll turn into a chick fight.

Or think he'll let somebody's bra break off.

Put your tongue back in your mouth, Scooby.

My dad's a master. Watch him work.

Tanya, a woman as beautiful as yourself has no reason to feel threatened by a

stacy and equally dynamic woman who happens to be my boss, which, by the

a line I would never cross.

Stop it, Flex.

You're so funny.

I prefer blessed.

You have to be born with that power.

Tanya, you don't have to worry about me. I'm off men, and I won't be back on

them until I find one who doesn't talk, doesn't cheat, and won't run away with

my ATM card.

I hear you, girl. You want to get a drink and talk this out? Yeah, and after

we're nice and drunk, let's hit the gun range. Bang. Bang!

Oh, hey, Flex, you want to come too?

I sure would.

Lick it up, women with guns. Sounds like my Charlie's Angels fantasy. Come on.

Laugh that.

Hey, baby, what you cooking up?

Tracy.

Oh, baby, are you sure you want to burn all your memories?

Well, Essence Magazine said if a man hurts you, then just burn him out of

life. It's cleansing.

Yeah, but if you let it get out of control, it's arson.

Dad, I wish I could laugh about this, but I'm not a Mac like you.

Oh, love, you think I'm a Mac?

Mac the Mac.

Like the other day when you got that policewoman to drop you a speeding

Oh, listen, I just explained that I should give her the ticket because she

fine written all over her.

Mac, Mac, Mac. Oh, hey, now stop it, stop it. I am not a Mac. I just have a

Jerry Springer approach to a relationship.

So you're saying I should have hit Tracy over the head with a chair?

No, no, no. Look, what I'm saying is high passion, low emotion equals lots of

mindless fun and nobody gets hurt.

So you mean keep everything up front and there'll be no surprises?

That's what I'm saying.

Baby, baby, baby.

What did that carrot do to you?

I mean, we've been dating for a while, and it's been fun and all, but what's

I mean, I am not the kind of girl who just keeps messing around without a

commitment, so I need to know.

You know, you make a point, but I tell you what, as soon as I know, you'll

Oh, hi, Daddy.

You remember my new boyfriend, Kelton?

I should give him a ticket because he's oh so fine.

You know I'm a blonde when it comes to chemistry.

Well, she's Einstein when it comes to handling boys.

Oh, frappuccinos, my favorite. But honey, you're so hot, you've melted all

frappe. All we have is chino.

So just cool them off in the fridge for me, okay? Thank you.

It's all right. She's just getting that little baby mac on.

Besides, I think it's cute.

There is nothing cute about it. This is good for her. She'll get over that Tracy

boy.

Who's that guy?

Uh, that's my cousin.

And who's he?

My second cousin. Twice removed.

In Alabama, we be kissing cousins.

Oh, okay.

Well, uh, I returned your book to the library, and I even paid those late

so, uh, you owe me $10.

Okay, we're even.

Look, honey, I need one more thing from you. I'm in the mood for a blue Slurpee,

the big one.

Uh, I can pick it up for you, but I spent all my money at the library.

My mom's asleep.

Her purse is open.

I'll work it out.

She's no longer a baby Mac. Now she's a doggette.

Uh, Brianna?

in the kitchen? Oh, Rodney, baby, I'm sorry. Come here. Call me up.

You know what? Can you just be a hottie and get me my biscotti? Thank you.

Finally alone.

I'm about to get some rest for my next shift. Ciao, Daddy.

Come here, come here.

Brianna, you just macked Arnaz. He's one of your best friends.

Well, maybe if Arnaz had a little more game, he wouldn't have got played.

Passion plus low emotion equals mindless fun.

What idiot said that?

Thanks for meeting me down here, Pa.

Look, between the two of us, I know we can straighten Brianna out. Oh, son, it

can't be that bad.

I should have seen her the other day. It was like she was the Pied Piper and all

the little rats were carrying peppuccinos.

Well, you know, you and I come from a long line of Casanovas.

Never known it to affect the female side of the family, except for your Aunt

Bertha, who used to be your Uncle Joe.

Anyway, the other day, Brianna accused me of being a Mac.

No, no, no, you're not a Mac. A Mac is a manipulator of women. That's not you at

all. My partner. Thank you, Dwayne. You a dog.

Feelings be damned, breaking hearts all over town.

Well,

you know, I've always considered myself to be a player.

A connoisseur of the gentler sex.

See me? I don't like to limit myself to one category.

Like I think I'm a triple threat. Player, Mac, and doll. Sort of a

Oh, hi, Daddy.

Hey, sweetie.

What are all these kids doing here? Daddy, what's a girl without her

A loser.

But anyway, Daddy, can I run a tab for me and my friends? We're a little

parched. Sure, sweetie. Anything you want. What in the world am I doing?

She just macked me.

Somebody better call a doctor because I'm about to wrap you all around my

finger.

Damn. That girl is smooth.

Oh, front row Cincinnati Kravitz. You can be my boyfriend, but only for

okay?

Brianna, I thought we were going to the concert.

See, we are going.

in the front. I'll wave to you, okay, sweetie?

So that's how you're gonna play me?

I thought you were my friend.

Brianna, I think you heard his feelings.

He's young. He'll bounce back. I did.

I don't believe this.

She's turning into someone I don't know.

Oh, no, son.

Just look at her.

She's turning into you.

Before she can change,

You have to change.

Flat out.

She's got you down with the flat out.

Welcome back to the Flex File. We're here with middleweight boxer Layla Ali.

That's undefeated boxer, and I'm pretty.

Right. You think your dad Muhammad is watching?

Rumble, young man, rumble.

What's up, champ?

So, you're married now?

Happily married.

Oh, guess I slept on that.

Whatever.

For those of you who don't know, Layla and I are old friends.

We went on one date.

Yeah, but after that one date, you went pro, and I'd like to think I had

something to do with that. You did.

I saw your face on everybody I stepped into the ring with.

You're a dog. You took me on a carriage ride in Central Park and then ran off

with an ice skater.

I had to ride a horse home.

You know, Layla, you just hit home.

I'm afraid to admit it, but you're right.

I was a dog, running loose, running wild, lifting my leg on every woman in

Baltimore.

So to speak.

Ladies, I'm sorry.

And for those of you who want to follow in my footsteps, including my daughter,

do as I say, not as I do.

This is Flex Washington.

Flat out.

And cut.

What the hell was that all about, Flex?

I was trying to give a more sensitive side to sports. Oh, isn't that special?

little cry on your own damn time. Boy, this ain't Oprah.

This is a legitimate newscast.

Do you understand?

But for the record, I was moved.

Okay, baby, I would love to run with you, but I'm busy that evening.

Oh, really? A party at Cisco's? Okay, let me move some things around.

Brianna, where did you get that cell phone?

Oh, from Eddie or Eric or... I mean, I don't know somebody with an E.

Didn't you watch my interview?

Oh, yeah, that sensitive dialogue was smooth. I'm about to parlay that into my

rap right now.

See, that's the consequence for being a player. It's like a hereditary disease

passed on from generation to generation.

You know what?

I've been thinking.

It's time to make a change.

This situation isn't working for me.

Oh, wait a minute. Hold up. Are you dumping me?

Because let me tell you something, Tanya doesn't get dumped, Tanya does the

dumping, okay?

Tanya, I'm not dumping you, okay?

Oh.

Okay, we'll finish what you were saying, baby.

Look, when Rihanna's mother ended our marriage, I was hurt, and I vowed that I

would never let another woman break my heart again.

So I macked my way across the eastern seaboard.

But now I'm a full -time dad, and my daughter's watching, and I'm not sure I

like what she sees.

What do you think, Fleck?

Yeah. What are you saying, Daddy?

Sweetie, I'm saying that I want you to end up like me.

But, Daddy, you have a great life.

But I've hurt some people along the way, just like you're doing your friend

Arnett. But Tracy was my friend, and he hurt me.

Sweetie, do you really want Arnett to feel what you're feeling?

I gotta go.

Thanks, Daddy.

apartment 8.

You ruined our friendship? Now you're ruining my song.

Is it too late for us to still be friends?

I don't know.

The artist is in a lot of pain right now.

I know that pain.

Sometimes it cuts so deep it ends up hurting someone you never meant to hurt.

Now, is this my friend Brianna or the Mac Brianna?

The Mac Brianna is dead.

But before she died, she managed to snag the... for you at the concert.

Lenny's guitar pick.

From the master himself?

I will cherish you forever.

So are we cool?

Man, your hair smells good.

Uh, aren't us friends?

Yeah. Right.

By the way, pal, you owe me 50 bucks for the concert ticket.

Can we just forget about that?

Nope.

Friends.

You know what I was thinking?

Time to take this relationship to the next level.

I'm telling you, sweetie, I'm not proposing to you.

Oh. Well, go ahead and finish what you were saying, baby.

Baby, look, by next level, I mean just seeing you.

That's a big step for me.

Oh, that is so sweet.

But isn't there some kind of ring that goes along with that?

Love you too, Netta.